This is a problem I’ve mentioned before on here, but I know that I’ve been neglecting some of my friendships lately. It’s not really anyone’s fault, time is limited for a lot of us and we just don’t think about scheduling time for each other. I’ve also said how social media has given me a false sense of seeing my friends more recently than I really have. And it’s true that it does because sometimes I’ll look at my calendar and realize that almost a year has passed since seeing a friend when I feel like I am up to date on their life.
I’m also a bit lazy with some of my friendships because other ones have hangouts that are pretty much built into my schedule. I see my friends who go to musicals with me once a month and those are in my calendar way in advance. Some of the musicals scheduled are over a year away but I know I’ll be seeing my friends then. It was also this way with my friends that I work out with, but that changed since my workout schedule changed. So some of my workout friends I haven’t seen in a long time.
I’ve tried to make conscious efforts in the past to fix this and I’m in a phase of life where I’m doing that again. I’ve got a pretty good routine going on with what I do from week to week. But I need to change that in order to see my friends. This week was a pretty decent one for me to do that because other things in my life weren’t taking up time. I’m even doing an afternoon workout today in order to see my workout friends again! And I went to a movie with another friend after work one afternoon this week. I usually don’t do that, but I wanted to see this friend and I wanted to see the movie so it was a perfect plan.
Since this is an ongoing problem for me, I was trying to think about why it was hitting me so hard right now. And then I realized that there was another routine of mine that was different too. It’s been a slow transition, but I’m not on social media as often as I used to. I used to see everything on Facebook. I would sort my posts in chronological order so I knew when I was caught up. But over the course of the past month or two, I haven’t had the time or desire to check out social medial as often. Now I just look at the top posts out-of-order and scroll for a bit before I move on.
Since I’m doing that, I’m not feeling as connected to my friends’ lives as I was before. I know I’m missing out on things online and that’s pushing me to feel like I want to see people in person. that’s a good thing since online relationships aren’t as strong as in person ones and I know I need to be better about seeing people in person. If this is the motivation that is getting me to see more people in person, then I guess it’s a good thing. I don’t see myself being on social media significantly more in the future just because of my life and how things are taking up time. So if I want this feeling to go away I have to make an effort to see people in person.
I think the other thing that has been making me feel this way is how much I’ve been relying on my friends lately. Life has taken a lot of weird turns lately and I have been asking more and more often for support from my friends. I usually try to be strong and don’t want to bother people asking for help. But I know now that it’s not a bother to ask and that it really is something that I need. And I’ve been asking for help and receiving it which has been amazing.
I’m sure things will ebb and flow with friendships just like with everything else in my life. When things get crazier and my schedule is more packed, I’ll end up neglecting some friendships again. And when I have the time to be reflective and think about what is happening, I’ll make more efforts to stay in touch with people. I’m just grateful that my friends have the same issues that I do and none of them hold it against me when it’s been months since I’ve seen them.
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