Category Archives: Fun Stuff

Doing The Opposite Of My Monthly Challenge (or Continuing To Focus On The Good)

My monthly challenge last month was to focus on things that made me happy. I really did want to update my happiness checklist to see if there were new things I could add and take some old things off. I have been using the same checklist for a while with very little editing. So I felt like it was time for an update.

My plan was to focus my month on what things were making me happy and keeping track of those so I could see what should be on my updated checklist. And that was a really good plan when the month started. That’s just not what happened. What I ended up doing was almost the exact opposite.

Instead of tracking what I was doing each day that made me happy, I noticed things that were not making me happy and seeing if I could eliminate them from my life. And while there are a lot of things I don’t like to do that I have to do, there were plenty of things that I could just stop doing or get rid of. For example, if there was someone annoying me on a dating app, I didn’t try to stick it out. I let them know I didn’t think we were a good match or I wasn’t interested and unmatched with them. I am starting to not feel the desperate need to try to make any match work. I know there are plenty of other guys I will match with. And when dating apps were annoying me in general, I stepped away from them. If I didn’t feel like doing dishes immediately (which I do try to do), I would rinse them off and wait a bit longer before scrubbing them. And when the entire day just felt like too much for me and I needed a break, I took a nap.

While I wasn’t necessarily finding things that made me happy, I was doing things to make my day happier. And I think that is a big accomplishment for me. My checklist might still be the same, but since the overall goal was to be happier I think I did accomplish that.

And my challenge for this month feels like a continuation of last month. I want to put focus on the good things in my life. This was inspired by a podcast I listen to that is all about the good happening in the world right now. There are good things in my life right now, even when it doesn’t feel like it. I am very lucky in many ways and I want to focus more on that.

So I’m going to work on tracking the good in my life each day. I’m going to do this along with my gratitude list that I do each evening. I’m going to try to make at least 2 of the things on my gratitude list things that are good each day. That way, even when I have a bad day I can remind myself that not everything is bad.

I need this challenge as being isolated is getting to me more and more. I don’t want my mental health to be a struggle and I can see how I can get to that point if I am not proactive about it. So this is something I am doing in order to make sure I stay more positive than pessimistic each day. I know this won’t fix everything or magically make my life better, but I know that it will at least force me to acknowledge that I do have good things in my life even when I don’t feel like that is true.

Some Of My Best And Worst Workouts (or A New Type Of Home Workouts)

I knew going into this past week of workouts that it might not be a good week for me. I was expecting to have pain and nausea and I never know how it will hit me each month. And this time, it was one of the really bad months. But I also was lucky because it was concentrated within a few days so it wasn’t the entire week that I was miserable.

The worst day for me last week was Monday. I ended up sleeping away a lot of the day because I was feeling so awful. When I woke up that morning, I figured I’d try to do my workout because sometimes that does help a bit. But this time, it just made things worse. There were multiple times that I was worried I would just pass out. I technically made it through about 30 minutes of the workout, but I wasn’t really doing much of it. I didn’t even count it in my workout tracker as a workout because it didn’t feel like I did one.

Wednesday was a bit better, but I was still feeling sick. I did make it through the workout and felt like I did at least a little something. It was far from a good workout for me, but it was not like the attempt I had on Monday. So that made me feel a bit better because I was really down on myself about not being able to do a workout on Monday.

But thank goodness I was feeling better by Friday. I wasn’t completely better, but I was significantly better than how I was for the first half of the week. And it was so important to me to be better for this workout because I was going to have a virtual reunion with some of my workout friends!

One of my coaches at OTF has been doing virtual workout classes over Zoom. My workout friends found a time that we could have a private group class with her and I was so excited to join in. It was different from the official OTF at home workouts since it was a bit customized for us. And the focus was on strength training (not doing any cardio work even though the strength training totally got my heart rate up).

I have needed this workout. Even though I have been very consistent with my home workouts, it’s not like having a coach there. And having this Zoom workout was the hardest and best workout I’ve had in months. I pushed myself so much (although I did have to rest from time to time to let my nausea pass). I don’t think I have had this hard of a workout since my last studio one. Even though it’s still not as good as the studio classes are, it’s significantly better than the videos and it’s much closer to a studio feel.

When the workout was done, I was beyond exhausted. I knew I’d probably be very sore the next day, but I couldn’t stop smiling either. And of course, we had to take a screenshot of the Zoom session as a post-workout photo.

This may end up being a regular Friday thing for my group, so that would be really awesome. I miss my friends so much, and this was a great way to get to see them and feel like I’m not just doing things alone in my house.

Saturday ended up being another great day. I was a bit sore from my hard Friday workout, but nothing too bad. I was able to do the OTF at home video just fine. I do still want to have some new equipment to make those workouts a bit better, but it’s not bad with what I have. And after I completed the video, I got my new jump rope out to do some interval training. I hadn’t done any jump rope work the entire week, mainly due to being nauseous. But I wanted to get at least one session in this week.

I did similar intervals to what I had done before. 15 seconds of jumping with 30 seconds of rest. I don’t know if I’m ready to increase the interval times just yet, so I increased how many rounds I did. Last time, I did 6 rounds. This time, I did 8. And I was able to jump the entire time without tripping for 5 of those 8 rounds. For the 3 that I tripped, I just got right back to it and kept going. I’m still shocked by how quickly I have been able to pick this up. Now I just have to work on my endurance to work on making the intervals a bit longer.

Even though the beginning of last week started off pretty bad, I’m so glad I ended on a good note. I had 2 amazing workouts (and 2 not-so-amazing workouts) and that is always something to be proud of. I just hope that I can continue to have a few amazing workouts this week.

Social Media Reminders (or Another Thing To Celebrate)

I try to keep track of anniversaries, birthdays, and other things I want to celebrate in my calendar. I like to know when things are coming up so I can buy presents or cards. And I like having fun things on my calendar. It’s like why I like getting random fun things in the mail. It adds something positive to my life. Getting a card in the mail when I normally just get bills is so nice. Same with knowing a friend’s birthday is coming up when my calendar is usually just filled with work and appointments.

But I don’t remember to track everything or I don’t think all things need to be in my calendar. And things that I probably wouldn’t have thought about as much in normal times mean so much more to me now. I want to celebrate everything and anything I can. I even am finding myself celebrating when I don’t see a line at the grocery store or everything I want is in stock. I never thought that would be something to celebrate, but these days it really is!

I’m glad I can find little things to celebrate most days. And sometimes, I figure out what to celebrate because of social media and an alert about a memory that I posted. And earlier this week, I got a reminder about a memory that means so much to me.

This wine party was something that I was invited to attend, and even though I’m not a big drinker I totally wanted to go. I have always wanted to learn more than wine (even now when I’m not drinking I wish I knew more) and this party was being held at a bar I love. So my friend Kate and I made plans to go. And when I wrote the post about it and posted this photo on social media, that’s what I wrote about.

But the story behind this photo is a lot more. The day I went to the party and took this photo was also the day my mom was diagnosed with cancer. She called me a few hours before the party to tell me. And I broke down hard after that call. I remember calling Kate to tell her and she asked me if I still wanted to go to the party. I said that I would because it would be a good distraction. It was, but I also know that I was still in shock and a bit numb because I don’t remember much about that night.

So when this memory came up on Facebook, I immediately thought that that night. But then I remembered something else. My mom told me that when people say they’ve been cancer-free for a certain number of years, that number is based on when they were diagnosed (I’m not sure why, but that’s how it is). So this memory coming up from 7 years ago also meant that my mom has been cancer-free for 7 years!

I know that 7 years cancer-free isn’t a huge milestone like 5 years cancer-free is, but it’s still a huge thing to celebrate! I called my mom after I saw that memory pop up so I could tell her congratulations on being cancer-free for so long. Doing that was a highlight of my week. I’m so glad that my mom had amazing doctors and got the treatments that she needed so she could stay cancer-free for this long. I know she stays on top of monitoring things and it’s a relief to us all when she gets a clean bill of health.

I’m so grateful that Facebook reminded me of one of the weirdest nights of my life because it also allowed me to celebrate something else this week. I really appreciated the reminder because I don’t know if I would have remembered on my own and this is something that I for sure what to celebrate!

Continuing To Find Ways To Be Creative (or Podcasts and Online Shows)

Even though I wasn’t working a lot of acting jobs before quarantine, there is no question that things feel different for me right now. I feel a lack of opportunity to be creative or to advance my career. In reality, I’m not living that different than before as far as my acting career goes. But it’s just not the same. I don’t know if I can explain it. It’s just how I feel and it’s not fun for me.

I know there are things I can do at home alone to work on my acting career. I haven’t felt that motivated to do online readings or record myself doing random audition sides for practice. I might start doing it, but I don’t want to force myself to do them just to get a sense of being able to act.

But recently, I’ve had a few chances to be creative, even if it’s not necessarily acting. A friend of mine is somewhat new into the dating world after a divorce and she’s already seen how crazy things are. Plus, she has heard a lot of my stories about my adventures in dating. So she asked me if I’d be interested in doing a show with her on Twitch where we are just being ourselves and talking about dating. We would be sharing stories, playing games while swiping, and maybe doing profile critiques.

We had a quick test of our show because the systems we were using were new to us. Plus, neither of us were that familiar with Twitch. So we wanted to have time to try things out before we publicize doing this show and having a real audience. The test was only about 10 minutes, but we had fun and I think we both feel comfortable with how to make things work. I’m not sure when we will officially start or how often we will do the show, but I’m excited about it. It’s not exactly acting, but it’s fun and I get to be creative with what we do on the show.

And then this week, I had another non-actor creative moment. I was a guest on Brianne Davis’s upcoming podcast Secret Life. This podcast is all about the secrets people keep and what it has meant for their life. I had an opportunity to be anonymous on it, but I decided not to. Being open and honest about secrets I’ve kept in my life is one of the better things I have done. I don’t want to hide or keep them a secret anymore. I’m not sure if I should say what I talked about because I actually am going to be a guest on the podcast again to discuss another secret!

I’m excited to go back because I had so much fun in the first interview! Brianne and I hadn’t met before the interview (I know her husband through a few different groups I’m in), but she instantly made me feel comfortable and supported. Even though I wasn’t scared to share what I had to say, it was still nice to feel like I was talking to someone who wasn’t going to judge me or make me feel ashamed. I can’t wait until her podcast premieres next month because I know all the guests she will have will feel the same way I did and it should lead to some incredible interviews! I promise to share the information when I know more about when it premieres and when my episode (or episodes) will be going live.

There is no way to know when the entertainment industry will be back to full production. I know my union along with many others are working on procedures and policies to be able to work and keep everyone safe. We will come back, it’s just an unknown timeline for now. I do hope it’s soon, but I also hope that we can feel comfortable that if we are on set that we are safe. But in the meantime, I’m glad I have had a few chances to be a bit more creative than I normally get to be. It’s not a replacement for being able to act, but it’s been a big help to make me feel like myself again.

So Many Virtual Movie Nights (or Thank Goodness For Technology)

I’ve been doing movie nights with Netflix Party with friends for a while now. Honestly, this is what is keeping me sane a lot of the time. I have scheduled NP nights with a FB group every Wednesday and Saturday. Knowing I have those in my schedule gives me something to look forward to.

There are so many things I miss while in quarantine. But one big one is having a communal experience with others. There is something about seeing a movie or a play in a theater and knowing everyone else in that room is seeing the same thing that you are. Watching movies alone at home isn’t the same. So when quarantine started and I was watching a lot of movies on streaming programs, that communal experience feeling was what I was lacking. Thank goodness for NP because it has allowed me to feel like I’m experiencing that just a little bit.

Some of the other streaming services have been setting up their versions of Netflix Party, but so far I haven’t been able to use them. Some of them are only available to subscribers at a specific level and some of them are dealing with too many glitches. We had issues with the glitch problem this past Friday. My regular NP group decided to do a bonus night and watch “Hamilton” together. We wanted to test out the Disney+ Party app, but it was down because so many people were watching at the same time.

So what we decided to do was all get our TVs set and ready to go, and I did a group FB call to everyone to count down when we would start. And we had a specific FB chat group to talk to each other while watching. In some ways, it was nicer because I could watch on my TV instead of my computer. But it’s also nice watching on my computer with NP because the chat is right next to the movie and I don’t have to keep looking down at my phone. But I’m so glad that we decided to watch it together because it made the night so much more fun!

The group was almost equally split between those of us who had seen the show in person and those who had not. I should have seen it a second time by now, but then again if quarantine hadn’t happened I doubt the movie would have been available since it was supposed to come out in theaters next year. But I think I would have enjoyed it just as much if not more if I hadn’t seen it.

It’s rare to see a good movie version of a stage musical. But this does it almost perfectly. I loved seeing the closeups that I never could experience seeing the show live. I love how they do show the full stage and it doesn’t feel like they turned the show into a movie. It just feels like a wonderful and special experience of seeing the stage show.

This was something special to get to watch with friends virtually and I’m glad we could set it up. We probably won’t be doing movie nights with streaming services besides Netflix for now because of the simplicity of the app, but I do hope the other apps fix their glitches and open up to all subscribers so we can expand what we watch.

And besides expanding what we what, I have been expanding who I have been watching movies with. For the most part, it has been the same group that I watch together on Wednesday and Saturday (I call the group the Movie Club). And I do love watching movies with them. Occasionally, I have set up a Netflix Party night with other groups of friends for a one-off movie night. Nothing that is a regular schedule like the Movie Club, but it is nice to get to watch with others.

But this week, I also had my first virtual date using Netflix Party. It was with a guy that I matched with almost a month ago. We have been texting every day and having phone calls a few times a week. We haven’t been able to meet yet (which is so weird to me), but hopefully, we can find a way to safely do it soon. But we wanted to do something different than just talking on the phone so I suggested a movie night on NP. We ended up watching 2 movies (we each picked one) and it was really fun. It was very different from when I have a big group watching, but it was nice and again made it feel like we were having a communal experience. I have a feeling I will have another virtual movie night with him soon.

So many people have said how much harder being isolated would be without technology. And I completely agree. And it’s not just the normal technology like social media and texting keeping me ok. It’s all the new technology things like Netflix Party that helps to bring a sense of normalcy to this very abnormal life. I bet that there will be more apps like this that will help bring people together coming since there is a huge demand for them right now. But I hope they continue because I have enjoyed finding ways to stay connected with friends and family that don’t live near me. I’ve been able to get closer to people while staying away from so many. It’s such a wonderfully weird time we live in.

Another Virtual Friend Hangout (or Trying Not To Miss A Summer Tradition Too Much)

I remember before this year started, people were so excited when they saw that the 4th of July would be on a Saturday. I was excited too because I knew that meant I wouldn’t have an early morning the next morning. I love the 4th of July BBQs that I go to that Chris and Marie host.

When the pandemic started, I don’t think any of us expected it to last this long. When Memorial Day happened and we had a virtual hangout, I think we all assumed we would be together again soon. Even some of the reports were saying that LA might be able to reopen by the 4th of July. I knew that just because things could reopen didn’t mean that having a party would be safe. But I was using the date as a goal for the future and hoping that things would be starting to get back to how they were before by then.

But that didn’t happen. Cases are growing. We are lucky the death rate isn’t rising at the same speed, but that doesn’t mean things aren’t dangerous. We have no clue what the long-term health effects will be on someone who had COVID. I know people are tired of being home and want to go out and be social, but we just can’t do that now if we want this to be over soon. If more people stayed home and wore masks when they went out, we would be in a better position right now. But because of the actions of others, we cannot have things open and we need to stay home and away from others.

So as much as my friend group wanted to see each other for the 4th of July, it wasn’t possible. None of us wanted to risk the health of others by having a party. Plus, gatherings weren’t really allowed. But since we had already done one virtual holiday hangout, we were prepared to do another one. And that’s exactly what we did.

I wasn’t able to stay on our Zoom hangout as long as I would have liked to, but I was able to be on there for a while and see a lot of my friends. Everyone was so happy to see each other and we were all saying how much we missed being together in person. Some people had some really fun and creative Zoom backgrounds (even background videos) and that made us all laugh. Most of the conversation was just catching up with each other and making sure we are all doing ok. It wasn’t that different from how we spend parties catching up in person, but it felt extra nice to have people checking in on me and making sure everything was going ok.

Many of us live alone, so having some social interaction was really needed. I know I needed it. I still have some days where isolation is a huge struggle for me. I feel like I’m on my own little planet and there is nobody else out there that understands what I’m feeling. I know that isn’t true, but it’s hard to not feel that way. But I have noticed being more open about my struggle has helped as other friends have said they feel the same. Even though we all feel like we are on our own planets, at least we are starting to feel like we aren’t the only one out there feeling like that.

Because of something else I had scheduled on the 4th, I was only able to stay on Zoom for about an hour. But honestly, that hour meant so much to me. I needed that time with my friends. I needed that sense of almost normalcy. I needed to have more than just text messages or social media. I know that I could use some face to face time with friends more, but that’s not an option yet. I have to take what I can, and I need to take advantage of the moments I can get with friends. I felt so much better after just that hour and felt like I could handle things for a bit longer.

The next party that we would all be having together would be Labor Day, but I don’t think any of us are expecting to be able to be together then. It would be amazing if we could, but I think we are all hoping to be together again for Halloween. And we all know the costumes will probably be some of the best yet because it would be our big reunion as a group. I am trying to stay hopeful that by October we can safely be together. But if we can’t I guess we can do a Zoom Halloween party and share our costumes over video.

Trying To Stay Busy (or Doing Lots Of Random Things)

It’s been hard to stay busy during isolation. For a while, I was fine doing a lot of reading and watching things on different streaming services. And I’m still ok doing that from time to time. I am always a big reader, but I feel like I’ve read what I normally would read in a year in the last 3 1/2 months. Thank goodness for the library and e-books, because I would go broke if I had to buy all these books. And there are always new things to watch, so it’s not like I have run out of things. I just have been getting tired of sitting around to pass my time.

I’ve done a lot of random little projects in my house. I have reorganized a lot. I bought new things to change up how stuff looks. I don’t think my house has ever been this clean or organized. And yes, doing some of this has cost money, but I figure it’s money well spent because it’s going toward things that are going to last a while. And I think doing these little projects is the way that I’m going to continue to try to feel busy for a while.

I will run out of things to do around my house. I know it. I thought I ran out of things before, but I found a few more to do. But at some point, there will be nothing else I can do. But I am grateful for the little projects I’ve done recently. For example, I got a new organizer for the top of my desk. It’s like a little shelving unit, but it’s perfect for putting a lot of stuff in one spot instead of all over my desk. And what I did this week was organize all the masks I have gotten.

All of the white ones are just handkerchiefs that I got before masks were easy to buy. I probably won’t use them, but they are good to have just in case. I also have one that a friend made for me and one that I ordered randomly. In the front of the box (the colorful ones) are Disney themed masks and are probably my new favorites because they are comfortable. And I have more masks coming because I ordered some that are meant for working out (so they are sweat-wicking). I feel like we are going to be using masks for a while, so I’m glad I have a few different options. And now they are nicely organized instead of just being in a pile.

Now, I’m looking around my house for other things I can do to occupy my time. It’s getting very specific and they aren’t big or obvious projects anymore. But anything that can take up some time is a good thing right now. I know at some point I will need to think of other things to do, either inside my house or safely outside (like going on driving adventures). But for now, I’m just searching for more house things for me to do.

Another Santa Barbara Day (or A Little Bit Of Social Interaction)

I’ve been in isolation for about 3 1/2 months now. I haven’t left my house much. My biggest adventures in the world have been going to urgent care and seeing my family for a day. I rarely leave my house for errands and have been relying on delivery services (and yes, I do tip generously for the deliveries). Isolation has been tough on me. It’s very lonely. I’m used to being alone, but not lonely. And the lack of social interaction and physical touch is very hard to deal with. But fortunately, last week I got to change that up a bit.

My parents were down in Santa Barbara visiting my brother, sister-in-law, and nephew. And since they were there for a few days, they asked if I wanted to come up to see them all. And of course, I said yes! Besides feeling lonely and wanting to be around people, I wanted to see my family!

And I will give this disclosure like I did when I saw my family again. I only went because I had been isolating myself for a length of time without going out for errands. My family is all in medicine and I followed all of their guidance and rules. I didn’t do this without thinking it through or ignoring the fact that we are in a global pandemic. I didn’t know how close I could be to my family or if I was going to be required to wear my mask the entire time. I was prepared for whatever they said.

When I got there, I wasn’t wearing my mask while hanging out with my family because we were able to sit far enough apart. Plus, none of us have really been going out in public at all so we’ve all been pretty isolated for a long time. And it was so good to get to see my family and talk to them in person! I’m grateful for phone calls, texts, and video chats; but there is no replacement for in-person interaction.

And Rory had gotten so big since I had seen him! And his little personality was really coming out. He was very clear in what he liked and what he didn’t like. He had this really adorable look of frustration from time to time. I hated that he was frustrated, but I loved that you could tell that he had so much he wanted to say and express to us. I have a feeling that he will be very chatty as soon as he can talk.

And I got to hold him again too! Because I have been isolated for so long, I was able to hold him without wearing a mask. He’s pretty wiggly and was looking at everything around the house, so it hard trying to get a photo with him looking into the camera. This was the best that I could do.

We spent a lot of time at my brother and sister-in-law’s house, but we also went out for a walk. One of the main streets in Santa Barbara has been turned into a pedestrian-only area, so there was a lot of room to walk around without being too close to anyone else. I hadn’t really been out like that in months, and it was so nice to get to do that. I still was wearing my mask, even without people being that close to us. I have to be careful and cautious and it was an easy thing to do to stay safe.

Once we got back to the house, we had family dinner and then I had to head back home because I had something I had to do early the next morning. But I had gotten to spend a while with everyone and it was exactly what I needed. I needed to feel connected to people again to get ready to go back to being lonely.

I know that I am lucky that I got to do this. Not everyone is close enough to family to go to see them for the day. Not everyone can isolate the way that I’ve been able to so that they can be safe around others. And I am so grateful that I got to do this again. I don’t know when I’ll be back to see family again, so I am just grateful for the opportunities that I have had to see them. And when I can go again, I know that I’ll feel so happy that I can go.

Another Successful Livestream (or Fixing Issues And Working On A System)

After the first You Are The Union livestream, Amir and I knew we had room to improve. It went really well, but not everything that we were hoping for happened. Mainly, we had technical issues with trying to get the livestream up on YouTube at the same time. And then after we were not able to save it so we could have a replay. We want these livestreams to be available at any time, so we knew we had to work on fixing it.

Once we had our next one scheduled, we took extra time to make sure we were clear on the process of how to make the livestream work. We did multiple test runs and made a checklist of every step that we have to take each time to make sure that it works. It’s not the easiest process, but it’s worth it to make it happen so we are willing to do the work. Plus, I have a feeling that as we do these more often, they will get easier and easier for us to set up.

We also wanted to make sure that things just ran smoothly and easily once the livestream was started. This mainly was stuff I needed to be able to do. Since Amir is hosting live, I want to run all the behind the scenes stuff so he doesn’t have to think about it. We tried a system of me texting him the questions from the guests the first time, and that didn’t exactly work. This time, we decided on a Google Doc where I could change the list of questions if we were getting a lot about the same topic or if something needed to be next instead of another question. So on my end, I needed to have a lot of windows open to keep it all together. I had the Google Doc with our questions, the Zoom window with the Zoom chat and participant lists popped out, the YouTube page to make sure the video was still streaming there, and the YouTube chat popped out. This is what my screen ended up looking like while we ran the second livestream.

It was a bit crazy, but it really worked for me in the end. I did switch between windows a lot, but it was easy enough to monitor everything at once. I monitored the chats on Zoom and YouTube to pull questions, looked at the participant list to see our Waiting Room, and tracked any raised hands in Zoom if someone wanted to ask a question on video. The first livestream, we didn’t have many people interested in asking questions on video so we debated removing that option. But this time, more people wanted to do that so I’m glad we allowed for both video and text questions.

Our second livestream was about diversity, inclusion, and Black Lives Matter. We had Tiffany Yvonne Cox and Michelle Hurd as our guests and it was so incredible. I was thrilled that the livestream went so much better than the first one did, but I was even more thrilled about the conversation that happened during it. This was exactly what we hoped would happen and I’m so glad that our audience seemed to feel the same way.

And because we were able to run everything smoothly this time, we also were able to create a replay of the livestream. The replay is pretty much the entire livestream, we just edited 1 minute at the beginning and 1 minute in the end when we were still getting things set up. But all of the discussion, questions, and conversation was kept in. We didn’t want to censor or edit our guests in any way, and I’m glad we were able to keep the full thing up for anyone to watch at any time.

I’m so proud of this livestream. I was crying at times while it happened because this is exactly what Amir and I dreamed of creating. And we never thought we would have exactly what we wanted by the second livestream. We thought we might have some more things to work through. But I think all of our practice runs and preparation paid off and helped us make all the improvements we were looking to make.

We are working on planning our next one. We have had a bit of a delay due to some timing issues, but we are hopeful we will have another one happening in a week. And we have a few topics in our lineup that we are considering, so we should be creating a nice schedule over the next few months. And we do want to do another one on diversity because we know this is not a one and done topic. This is an evolving discussion and we want to create a space for people to discuss it and get answers. That is so important and being able to provide it makes me so happy.

I’m still so excited that I have helped to create this livestream and how quickly it has been embraced by so many people. So many of the viewers were people who are not currently involved in union service and it was a great way to get to meet new people and to hear what they are hoping to see from the union. And we have a few people who have expressed interest in union service and asking what steps they can do. That is amazing and not something I expected. But like I’ve always said, all I want to do is to educate other union members and to make sure they understand what is going on. And maybe that does mean getting more people involved in union service so they are an active participant and able to help educate others in their social circles.

Friends Are The Best Mood Booster (or The Difference A Day Makes)

My post yesterday was definitely a bit of a downer. As I said, I usually have good days but I have had some bad days too. I heard something on a podcast about how most people are experiencing some signs of depression these days, and I don’t doubt it. I think a lot of my exhaustion is related to dealing with a bit of depression. It’s not bad enough that I am worried about my health or safety and my therapist has said that she doesn’t think I need to be on medication for it as this is not my usual mindset. But it’s something to be aware of.

And part of being aware of it is working on coming out of the funk. Usually, that’s more in my control because I have options of what I can do. But now, I really don’t have the opportunity to go out and feel better. And I can’t really go out to see my friends.

But just because I can’t go out to see my friends, I can still be social with my friends. It’s just in a different way. I have been doing Zoom hangouts, but those can be overwhelming and there is such a thing as Zoom Fatigue (which is the idea of having so much anxiety because you don’t know if someone is watching you or not). So I’ve been trying to have more phone calls (without a video element) with my friends.

When I was growing up, I spent a lot of time on the phone with friends. We did have internet and AOL messenger was a big deal, but I spent way more time on the phone than I did online. I had my own phone line during high school, so I was able to be on the phone without kicking other people in my family off the phone (or off the internet since AOL went through the phone line). I’m sure I did some phone calls in college too, but I know I was doing a lot more texting then. And now, I rarely make phone calls. I call family, but I text a lot more often. And there are lots of friends that I almost never call but wouldn’t think twice about texting.

But texting isn’t enough for me right now, so I’ve been doing a lot more phone time. Even if I’m talking to a friend and just venting and ranting to them, it really helps. Of course, I am happy to do the same for any of my friends and I have been the sounding board for many of them. We all need to be heard these days and I’m so glad I can be there for my friends when they need it and that they are there for me.

I’ve had a lot of phone calls recently with my friends. Some of them are not totally social calls, but we still get some friendly chatting in while doing work too. I’ve been busy getting things organized with the livestreams I have been doing for my slate lately, and my co-creator is my friend Amir. So when we have to be on the phone together dozens of times a day (or for a long hour or two calls), even though we are working for a lot of it, we do get silly too. I’ve had a few other work and union-related calls that turn into silliness, which helps to break up my day.

And even though these are technically just texting or messaging, having regular Netflix Parties with friends helps too. I think it’s the idea of having a communal experience with others. I know that those friends in the party with me are watching the same thing at the same time as I am. We do message about things about the movie or tv show we are watching (like when something crazy happens or when we love an outfit), but a lot of what we talk about in Netflix Party has nothing to do with what we are watching. We talk about stuff happening in our lives and if someone is struggling we are there to support them. It’s crazy how much support I get out of the group because technically I’ve never met any of the friends who are in it with me. We are all just in a Facebook group together. We have created a bond in that group and the smaller group that does the Netflix Party has an even stronger bond. I know if I needed something that I could reach out to any of them and they would be there for me.

I’ve also had some phone call dates recently. While those don’t help me as much as calls with my friends all the time because sometimes the guys I’m talking to aren’t the best, it’s something. And I’m not staying on bad calls or on calls with guys I don’t see myself dating just to be on the phone. If I’m spending time on the phone with someone, it’s because I want to talk to them. And I do hope that in the future those calls turn into real dates (socially distanced or not). But I am aware that some people are just looking to talk to someone and it might not go the way I would hope it would go. But when I’ve been messaging with guys before when I could go out on dates, I would have the same issue. So finding people who have no intentions beyond virtual hangouts isn’t a new issue.

It’s not always easy to plan or schedule calls for when I’m in a bad mood. And I can’t exactly plan when those bad moods will happen so I can’t figure things out ahead of time. And when I’m in a funk, I don’t always reach out to others. I know that I need to, but it’s not easy. I am lucky that I have people in my life that reach out to me just to check-in, so that is good. And if I try to have a somewhat regular schedule of when I talk to people, hopefully that helps to keep my mood a bit better and more even. And there is a chance that by the time I figure out how to do all this that things will be normal again and I won’t need to worry about it as much. But it’s always good to have a plan in your life when you aren’t doing so great.

Even though I really don’t have many plans for the weekend, I am looking forward to it and seeing what I am able to get done. I don’t have any crazy projects that I’m working on, but I’m sure I’ll find something to do and I’ll hopefully be a bit busy. And I know I have a Netflix Party on Saturday and that is always a highlight of my weekend.

I hope that all of you are doing ok. This is not an easy time for anyone. I know it’s not easy to reach out if you are struggling, but if you can please do so. People are more than willing to help and listen. And just having a friend there for you can make such a difference.