Category Archives: Family

Working On My Inner Badass (or How Spinning Fit In Perfectly With My Life Yesterday)

My plan was originally to share my fun plans I had this past weekend on here today, but that’s being pushed back by what happened in spin class yesterday.

I had the day off of work (thank you Labor Day!), so I went to SoulCycle for a mid-morning workout (a rare treat). The instructor for this particular class was Patrick. I’ve taken his class before and have really enjoyed it.

First of all, this was the toughest spin class I’ve ever gone to (even tougher than the very first class). There were moments that I questioned if I could complete the workout. But I took it slow and took some more breaks than I usually would take in class. And after class, I chatted with a couple of other riders who agreed that this class was the toughest that they’ve even taken (which made me proud that I was able to do it).

One of the things that I loved about SoulCycle from the beginning was the positivity and motivation from the instructions. It’s part spinning part meditation/affirmation time for me.

I was having a bit of a rough morning. Even though I’m not crying all the time about my mom’s cancer anymore, writing yesterday’s blog post really got to me. It was extremely difficult to write the post, and I cried pretty much the entire time writing it. The whole time I thought about how tough my mom is being through all of this. She is totally the rock in the family. And I’m not doing as well as I’d like to about being tough and a true badass like her.

Anyway, back to what happened in spin class. Patrick was having us work like crazy during this one song. We were pedaling super fast and did what felt like a million pushups on the handlebars. My shoulders and arms were killing me and sweat was pouring off my face. When we were getting toward the end of the song, Patrick talked about being tough and pedaling through the very last note of the song. He talked about how we all have a badass inside of us and we just need to bring it out.

That seriously hit home for me. Somewhere inside me, I am a badass. I’m sure I inherited my badassness from my mom (sorry Dad). I’m working really hard to find my inner bombshell, but at the same time, I need to find my inner badass. It’s there somewhere, I just needed to know to go and look for it.

I really felt like being in that class, with that instructor, at that time, and hearing those words really was a sign. I joke on my twitter profile that I’m a girl with Southern charm and Jersey moxie (my mom is originally from Louisiana and my dad is from New Jersey). So why can’t I work on having both an inner bombshell and inner badass?

I’m not going to change the name of this blog (that is far too much work), but I am going to focus on finding my inner badass now too.

F#*k Cancer (or Proof That My Mom Is A Badass)

There’s been something that I’ve wanted to share on here for a couple of weeks now, but I had to wait for the right time. Technically, this isn’t my news to share so I had to wait to get the ok to put it out in the world.

My mom has breast cancer.

I found out on the day of the rainy beach trip and the Reckless Love wine event. Between the beach and the event, my mom called me to give me the news. I had no idea that she had been seeing a doctor about this, so it came as a complete shock to me.

I pretty much cried for 3 days. But then I realized that crying does no good for me or my mom. So I’m working on being tough about it.

My mom had a mastectomy already. She did amazing in the surgery. The original plan was for her to be there 23 hours, but she managed to leave about an hour after the surgery was done (since I couldn’t be there that day, my mom and I FaceTimed as soon as she was in recovery). It was about a month ago.

When I was in Tahoe recently, I got to see the scar (and I think it is possibly the most awesome scar that I’ve ever seen). And my mom gets to wait until after my brother’s wedding next week to start chemo, so that’s very good news. I would hate for her to be feeling side effects of chemo during the wedding.

My mom has been so amazing since finding out. She’s taking everything in stride. She knows that she’ll lose her hair during chemo, so she already went out and got a wig that looks just like her regular hair.

When my mom put it out to all of her Facebook friends (which was the moment I was allowed to start sharing this publicly), she wrote a short note describing what’s going on. But she ended the note by saying “I did not have a choice in getting this disease, but I do have a choice to live a happy, full life everyday”.

I think that is an important message for anyone. I try to focus on staying positive all the time, even when things don’t seem to be going my way. And I’m aware that positive thinking can do wonders when you are dealing with illness. So I decided to get my mom and I matching bracelets to remind us to stay positive.

IMG_2017

It will be important for me to stay positive while I’m not able to be with my mom for every doctor’s appointment (which I’d like to be so I can try to understand this all). And while my mom has been super positive since the beginning, I know that with chemo and radiation ahead, she might have some tough times. So by having this bracelet on (which I wear every single day and only take off to sleep), we can focus on the good and not the bad.

While I might sound like things aren’t super wonderful with my mom right now, that’s not true. She technically does have cancer, but in the month since she’s had her mastectomy, she has done some truly badass things. Such as driving our off-road jeep (and making me bounce so hard in the seat that I came home with bruises), rowing a boat with our dog inside, numerous hikes (I can’t even think of counting them all), and won all her tennis matches since her surgery.

I know that many of you reading this don’t know my mom personally. But when I told people who do know her about her cancer, they all pretty much said the same thing. My mom is the toughest person out there. If anyone could beat cancer (and completely kick its ass), she could.

I promise to keep you all updated on my mom’s journey. The one thing everyone in my family has learned over the last month is that cancer is not a straight line journey. There will be some twists and turns. But after all the twists and turns, I can’t see anything else for my mom in the future other than beating this.

Saying Goodbye To Tahoe (or Going Rafting Before Flying)

On my last day in Tahoe, we decided to drive over to Donner Lake to have some fun in the inflatable raft my parents bought a year or two ago. Donner Lake is significantly closer to our place, plus I’m sure Lake Tahoe would have been packed on a Sunday.

My dad and I got a head start so we could get everything set up. It was pretty empty by the lake when we arrived, so we got a picnic table for all of our stuff before heading back to the car to inflate the raft.

Fortunately, we own an air pump that is powered by the cigarette lighter in my mom’s car (and there is an outlet in the trunk). So it didn’t take too long for the raft to be ready (my dad did most of the work).

DSCN0369

Finally, the raft was ready and we headed out of the lake for a little adventure!

DSCN0371

On the way out, my dad did the paddling, so I was checking out the sights on the lake. There were a bunch of people paddle boarding right by us, including this lady with her two amazing dogs!

DSCN0379

I also had my dad take a quick picture of me because I was in my new bathing suit top and wanted to make sure I posted it on here (it’s not the most flattering photo, but whatever).

DSCN0377

We got over to a little cove area and it was my turn to try paddling.

DSCN0382

It was tough! I managed to do a little by myself, but then my dad and I decided to work as a team to get back to the beach. When we got back, my mom and dog had gotten there, and they decided to take a turn out on the lake.

First, my dog had to get his life jacket on (which seemed to humiliate him).

DSCN0390

He has to wear it because he is not a strong swimmer. And if he fell out of the raft, the life jacket has a handle on the back so it’s easy to rescue him.

My mom and dog got comfortable in the raft and then they were off for a quick spin in front of the beach.

DSCN0395

Dante didn’t seem to mind being in the boat too much. He’s done it before, and he’s pretty happy wherever he is as long as my mom is with him. I tried to get some good photos of them while they were out in the lake, but Dante was laying down in the boat most of the time, so you can’t see him. I did get this one shot as they were coming back into the beach area.

DSCN0408

After we were all done rafting, we just hung out in the shade and enjoyed the views. My flight back to LA wasn’t until the evening, so we just enjoyed relaxing and hanging out as a family (minus my brother). I’ll get to see my parents again in a few weeks at the wedding, but I hadn’t seen them since Mother’s Day so I was soaking up all the family time I could get.

Before we went to the airport, we had a quick dinner at a burger spot (I forgot to take photos, but it was quite yummy). And then it was off to Reno for me to fly home. Normally at the Reno airport, it’s pretty empty. But for some reason this time, it was horribly crowded. I had to wait about 30 minutes to print a boarding pass and then another 30 minutes going through security. I got to the gate just in time to sit down, catch my breath, and contemplate playing the slot machines right at the gate.

IMG_2056

I ended up not playing, but that’s probably a good thing.

It really was an action packed weekend in Tahoe. I’m not sure if I’m going to make it up at all this winter because of my job, but I’m already planning on going back next summer. My dad and I made a list of things we didn’t get to do on this trip that we want to do next year.

I’ve been home for a few days and have been really lazy about unpacking. But I probably should get my butt in gear because in about 2 weeks I fly out again!

Hiking And Off-Roading (or Taking Advantage Of Every Moment Of My Vacation)

Day 2 in Tahoe starting off pretty relaxing. I woke up early (since I’m used to always waking up at 7am) and spent my morning hanging around the condo reading. Once the rest of my family was up, we were out the door for our first adventure of the day.

There is a railroad track right behind the condo. So we have done a lot of walking back there. And if you follow the path next to the tracks long enough, you get to some really cool ponds. So we decided to do a loop around the ponds.

On the way out toward the ponds, there are some pretty awesome boulders that you can walk out onto. During the winter, my dad likes to snowshoe up them (but in the summer they are too steep to hike up).

DSCN0334 DSCN0335

We got to the path that led us down to the ponds, and of course I took advantage of another photo op.

DSCN0338

We are so lucky to have this in our Tahoe backyard!

DSCN0341

It was probably around a mile or so for the entire loop, but there was some elevation change and I was in a high altitude, so I was pretty out of breath at some points.

After getting back to the condo and having some lunch, we decided to go off-roading. A few years ago, my parents got a Jeep to off-road in (they are very adventurous people if you couldn’t tell already!).

DSCN0358

We went up a dirt path in the mountains. It was extremely bumpy, but fortunately there are hand holds to hold on to!

DSCN0342

When we got to the top, we were rewarded with a gorgeous view of Lake Tahoe.

DSCN0347 DSCN0351

I mean, seriously, it’s so beautiful in the mountains! I really need to make sure I go there more often!

Also while we were at the top, I got a really cute photo of my parents with the dog.

DSCN0355

We headed back down the mountain, where at times it seemed like the road was just dropping off into nothing.

DSCN0361

Finally, we were back on a paved road (but I really did have so much fun on the dirt roads). We then went over to Northstar, which is the ski resort that I grew up skiing at. There is a Ritz-Carlton hotel on the mountain, and I had never seen it. So we rode the gondola up there and went to the outdoors bar for a snack.

DSCN0363

Again with the views! Bars in LA have some awesome views, but nothing like this!

Once we took a look at the menu, we realized it might have been a bit expensive.

DSCN0364

$14 for chips and salsa?!?!?! We all decided to have some frozen drinks. My mom had a pina colada, I had a strawberry daiquiri, and my dad had a margarita.

DSCN0365

It was the perfect refreshment for the hot mountain sun!

Finally, it was time to head back to the condo. My mom made a nice steak dinner with baked potatoes at the condo, so we had a relaxing evening. We all earned it from the on the go day that we had!

Tomorrow I’ll write about part 3 of my trip!

Hello Tahoe! (or The Start Of My Weekend Getaway!)

As I mentioned before, I spent this past weekend hanging out with my parents (and dog) in Lake Tahoe. I’ve been going to Tahoe since I was a baby to go skiing in the winter and do some hiking in the summer. Several years ago, my parents got a place in Tahoe (we rented a cabin before then), so now there are more chances in a year for me to get up there.

Somehow, with all the craziness of work and life, I hadn’t been to Tahoe in a couple of years. So I was more than excited to make it up there and get some nice outdoors time in.

As soon as I go there on Friday, my parents and I had to do some errands. We had some things to figure out on our family cell phone plan, and since I was listed as the primary account holder, I had to be with my parents when they changed things. So most of the afternoon was spent at the Verizon store doing not so fun stuff.

That evening, we went out for dinner. Since we were technically celebrating my 30th birthday, I got to pick the restaurant. For me, there has only been one place that has been my go-to restaurant in Truckee (the town in Tahoe where we stay): Cottonwood. Honestly, I cannot remember a time when we didn’t go to Cottonwood when we were in Tahoe.

We had to sit inside because there were about a million bees out on their deck, but we sat near the windows so we still got to enjoy the view of historic downtown Truckee (and of course, I forgot to take a picture of the view).

The menu had some great specials, so I decided to get the chicken dish (it sounded relatively healthy).

DSCN0324

For a starter, my parents and I split something that we always get every time we go to Cottonwood. The whole leaf Cesar salad.

DSCN0325

This is seriously the best thing in the world! It used to say on the menu that it is traditionally eaten with your fingers, so that’s how we eat it (except my mom who goes against tradition by using a knife and fork). This salad is so wonderfully garlicky. I love it! You do smell like garlic for a few days after, but to me, that’s totally worth it!

After we got through most of the salad (it was pretty huge for 3 people), our entrees arrived.

DSCN0327

The chicken was delicious and the mashed potatoes were great (although they didn’t seem too garlicky after having the salad).

We didn’t have dessert since we were so full on salad and our entrees, so we headed back to the condo my parents’ own to take Dante (the dog) for a walk.

Near Tahoe there is a fire, and that made the sunset pretty gorgeous.

DSCN0331

Although the smell of smoke in the air was pretty strong.

So that was day one of my Tahoe trip. More to come in the next few days including our off-roading adventure and going out on Donner Lake in our inflatable boat!

Positivity (or Maybe My Luck Is Changing)

In the past, I’ve wondered if I just have bad luck in life. I mean, lots of not so great things have happened to me that I don’t deserve. Like 2 car accidents in one week. Or my hip issues (which is something that I was born with but didn’t discover until the cartilage tore). Or having to worry about a day job (I’ve had plenty of times of unemployment that were not planned nor could I collect unemployment).

But lately, things seem to be going my way.

I had a really amazing week at my day job this week. I had a huge group sale on tickets. The commission I will get from that sale alone will almost completely pay for the deductible when I get my car fixed. I also sold tickets to one lady who has told about 50 of her friends that they all need to buy tickets from me (as long as people calling in ask for me, I get the sale). A few of her friends have called in so far, but I’m expected several more.

I was able to find a bathing suit that not only fits me, but I like! I’m pretty sure that’s a big accomplishment for anyone of any size, but for me, the task felt like it would be impossible. At least until I ordered some things online. Now I’m feeling pretty silly for stressing out over it.

I’m in a good place with my workouts right now. I’m still loving spin class (I mean, I even went on my birthday!). I’m excited to see how the workouts pay off when I go to Tahoe this weekend to see my parents. I’m not used to high elevation, so I’m expecting to have some issues with that. But hopefully I will feel stronger during the hiking and kayaking I’m planning on doing there.

And finally, I’m just all around happier right now. I’ve found that going outside my comfort zone has really allowed me to grow and become a better person. I don’t know others have noticed my increased happiness, but I have. I can mainly tell because I’m having fewer and fewer panic attacks. I still have my big triggers of needles and flying and I doubt those will ever go away. But even the big triggers aren’t affecting me as much as they used to. I’m flying tomorrow and usually by now, I have to start taking my medication to calm me down. I haven’t had to do that yet (I’ll probably starting taking them tonight so I don’t have a crazy panic attack on the plane).

So maybe all those years I was complaining about having bad luck I was bringing it onto myself. I don’t know if having a more positive mindset has changed my luck for the better, but either way, I’m planning on keeping the positivity in and the negativity out.

Happy Birthday to Me! (or Part 1)

A lot of things (and a lot of pictures) happened over my birthday, so I’m splitting this into 2 posts. This is pretty much what happened before 4pm on my birthday.

The day started off with happy birthday phone calls from various family members. One of my favorite phone calls to get is from my cousin Stephanie. Her oldest son, Dalton, sings happy birthday to me each year. It’s a tradition that I totally look forward to. This year, we FaceTimed so it was extra special.

The call started with a lovely video chat with my cousin’s youngest son, Hudson (who I will get to meet in real life for the first time at Thanksgiving).

IMG_2039

Then a very sleepy Dalton and his sister Annabelle came to the phone to sing to me.

IMG_2041

(I love being able to take screenshots of video chat!!!)

After those festivities, it was time for me to head over to SoulCycle for a spin class! This class was with Ben B., who taught the very first class that I went to. I actually hadn’t been to his class since that first one (he doesn’t teach with I can normally go), and it was really fun! He’s so high energy and upbeat.

When I was putting on my heart rate monitor for class, I noticed that even that was celebrating my birthday with me!

IMG_2042

During the stretch part at the end of class, one of the front desk people came into the room with a brownie with a candle in it. The entire spin class sang happy birthday to me! It was awesome!

Something else awesome about the class was a group that was in there. Remember last week when I was talking about how “The Biggest Loser” is one of my guilty pleasure but their workouts are a bit unrealistic? Well, it turns out that some of the contestants in the upcoming season of “The Biggest Loser” were in that spin class! I didn’t see any cameras so I have no idea if they will show it on tv. But I did get to see who some of the new contestants are (and no, I didn’t see Ruben Studdard). I didn’t take any pictures of the contestants since there were production people nearby and I didn’t want to get in trouble, but as soon as the new contestants are announced, I’m excited to see who it was that I saw in class! I guess that some of the workouts that they do are realistic since it’s something that I do pretty much every week!

After spin class, I got home and saw these flowers from my parents on my doorstep.

DSCN0279

After showering and getting dressed, I headed out to the one pampering thing I decided to do on my birthday. I got a blowout from DryBar. I had never been before, but I figured why not try it out.

It’s super nice inside. I loved the pop of yellow throughout the salon.

IMG_2044

They have a menu of styles that you can choose from. I chose the Cosmo-Tai since it seemed pretty fun (and not something I could do on my own).

cosmo-tai__large

It also reminded me a bunch of this headshot of mine that I love!

482rWebOnly

The stylist I got was very nice. She and I chatted a bit and then she got to work.

IMG_2045

While she was working on my hair, it didn’t really look at all like the style that I wanted. But I didn’t say anything because I’ve learned that you can’t judge a hairstyle by the process, you have to wait for it to be done.

Once it was done, it looked nothing like the picture in the menu. I asked her to fix it a couple of times, but I realized that it wasn’t going to be what I thought. It was a cute style, but I really wanted what I saw in the photo.

IMG_2046

With my cute hairstyle, I headed home and started to get ready for my birthday party. But those photos will have to wait for part 2 coming tomorrow!

7 Years (or Time Really Does Fly By)

Yesterday marked an anniversary for me. It had been 7 years since my hip surgery. I can’t believe it’s been that long!

The hip surgery had marked the end of a pretty long ordeal for me. Things started in September of 2005. I had collapsed in the Portland airport and had trouble walking. After that, I was misdiagnosed for several months. Finally, I got my proper diagnosis and had my surgery.

I can remember that day like it was yesterday. The nurse in pre-op hated me because I wanted my mom to be in pre-op with me with they put the IV in (I knew I had a high probability of fainting). I also remember having to sign my leg in pre-op to show that they had the correct leg to operate on. And I remember joking to a friend afterwards how I thought it was funny that I had to take a pre-surgery pregnancy test (it was negative, of course).

This had been my first surgery as an adult, so I was worried how I would react to the anesthesia. Turns out, I wake up very quickly and very lucid after surgery. In my surgery, they put my right foot in a boot to keep things stable. When I woke up, my foot was still in the boot and I asked my surgeon if they had screwed up my pedicure in the surgery (they didn’t).

Recovery was not as horrible as I thought it would be. I had been in so much pain before that I was so happy with the minimal pain I felt after. I’ve since discovered that I have a new type of pain, but again, it is significantly less than what I felt before.

I remember in one of my post-op appointments (after my surgeon discovered that I have the same defect in my left hip), that it was expected that my other hip would have to be corrected within 5 years. I’m pretty damn proud of myself that I’ve made it this long without needing surgery.

Even though my surgery wasn’t necessarily fun, I look back at it with happy memories. Both my mom and dad came to LA to take care of me (my dad took some of the only sick days he ever used in his 30+ years at his job to help me). While I was recovering, my mom and I went to Warner Bros. to take a tour (I used to be a tour guide there). And we took some fun pictures that I still love to look at.

File0031 IMGP0211_1

I still am in shock how many years ago the surgery was. It really feels like it was only maybe a year ago. And hopefully it will still be many more years before I have my other hip done.

IMGP0195

Happy Birthday Kate! (or Yay For My Friend Of 21 Years!)

Today is my best friend Kate’s 30th birthday! First of all, happy birthday to you, Kate! As I’ve done for a few other birthdays, I’ve decided to do some of my favorite photos of my 21 year friendship with Kate (yes, we became friends when we were 9).

I don’t have a ton of pictures from before college on my computer, but I do have one from my sweet 16. For my 16th birthday, my mom allowed me to invite a couple of friends to drive down to southern California so we could go to Catalina! It was amazing! I invited Kate, another high school friend Jackie, and my cousin Leah.

IMG0006

When it was time to go to college, I was coming down here to LA (I went to Loyola Marymount) and Kate moved to Minnesota. But since I was starting school before Kate, she agreed to drive down with me to LA. She and I were in my car, and my parents were in theirs (and they had most of my stuff since I had a little car then). It was one of our first “grownup” adventures.

scan0002

Until last year, Kate and I had not lived in the same city since high school. But she came down to LA to visit (her sister also lives here).

IMG_1214

And I traveled to see her as well. I went once to Minnesota (where it was seriously the coldest I’ve ever experienced), but I visited her in Seattle more. Since we’ve been friends for so long, we both know that we are dorks. And on one visit to Seattle, we discovered that Kate had an old CD-ROM (remember those?) of Oregon Trail. So of course we put it in her laptop and played a couple of games.

100_2000

It’s been really exciting to have Kate living in the same city as me now. Of course, she and I have had a lot of happy hour adventures together. And I’ve mentioned it before, but Kate is my 5K buddy. And we’ve agreed to virtually cheer each other on when we can’t do the same races (I know she’ll be cheering me on while working during my race on Sunday).

IMG_1911

So Kate, thank you for being such an awesome friend to me! You have been there for me through thick and thin (literally) and have supported me through every step! You are like a sister to me. And I’m so grateful that you are willing to listen to my rants every once in a while.

Cheers to you on turning 30! I’m looking forward to celebrating your birthday at the spa soon (I’m sure I’ll be writing a blog post about that in the future). And to all you readers, thanks for letting me use a blog post to celebrate my best friend.

DSCN0122

Thank You Aunt Cindy! (or The Gift That Made Me Cry)

Before I get to the gift that I’m referring to in the title of this post, let me tell you a bit about my Aunt Cindy. I’ve mentioned her in the blog before when she and my mom were here for the “2 Broke Girls” taping and Disneyland.

While my Aunt Cindy and I haven’t always been super close, I’d say for almost the last decade we’ve pretty much talked on the phone every week. We have a lot of the same favorite tv shows, so we chat about those a lot. She also is one of the few relatives I’ve had who understands the struggle I have with my weight. And she has also had hip problems, so we chat about that sometimes as well.

Anyway, back to the gift.

I’ve been so excited to be collecting medals from the various 5Ks I’ve done so far. I normally don’t display my medals and race bibs, but since I have a goal for the number of 5Ks that I do in 2013, I’ve decided to put them up in my living room for motivation.

I just used one of those clear Command hooks (because it is very difficult to put holes in my walls at my house), and hung all my medals up. I then strung all my race bibs through a paper clip and hung them up as well.

I thought it looked pretty darn good considering it took my 2 minutes to do it.

IMG_1928

I’ve had it up at my house since Sunday, and I’ve been very happy every time I pass it.

Yesterday, I got home from work and there was a box on my front step. I didn’t think much of it since I had ordered some clothes online recently. So I went inside to put down all of my things before I grabbed the box and brought it inside.

When I finally got a look at the box, the return address on it was my Aunt Cindy’s address. I quickly thought about our last phone call and couldn’t recall her saying that she was going to send me something. So I opened it up and saw this note inside.

IMG_1930

Underneath the card, I saw this medal hanger.

IMG_1931

And honestly, I cried when I saw it (I’m even tearing up a little now as I write this). While I’ve gotten some very cool gifts for my birthday, Hanukkah, or just because in the past; this gift is very special for me. Even though I don’t know if this is what my Aunt Cindy was thinking, but to me, it means that she believes that I’ll have many medals to come that I should be proud of and display and that I should do better than my little makeshift hanger.

I don’t have my new hanger up on the wall yet (Dad, this is a project to add to our list), I’m resting it on the wall below where it will hang so I can see it every time I see my medals.

Thank you so much Aunt Cindy for the amazing gift! I tried to call you last night to thank you, but since I didn’t get a hold of you, I hope this blog post will do.