Even though I really hate going to the dentist and it has caused me lots of panic attacks over the years, I never skip going to an appointment. And lately things have been much better for me and the panic and stress I feel before an appointment have gone down. I don’t think I’ll ever say I enjoy going to the dentist, but it’s not as bad as it has been in the past. But this month, I was supposed to go to the dentist a few weeks ago and I had to change my appointment the morning of.
Unfortunately, my dentist appointment happened to land on a day that was an exceptionally bad nausea day. I was hoping that morning that things would get better, but about 2 hours before my appointment I realized that I couldn’t go. I didn’t want to risk throwing up at the appointment, especially since my head is the lowest part of my body when I’m in the dentist chair. Usually there is a fee for rescheduling the day off, but since I never do this the office was able to waive it for me. And they also were able to reschedule the appointment for this week when I knew it was very unlikely to have a bad nausea day.
While I was grateful for getting the appointment moved, it actually ended up causing me so much anxiety. I always am worried I will get horrible news about my teeth at the appointment and in my head I was thinking that waiting the extra 2 weeks for my appointment would make things so much worse. In reality, I know this really couldn’t be true. If there was something wrong with my teeth, 2 weeks wouldn’t make a huge difference. And if it would make a huge difference, it probably would have been something that was seen when I was there a few months ago. But still, knowing that my anxiety was a bit crazy wasn’t helping me and making it go away. So the past 2 weeks I was on edge about it all.
When I went in for my appointment yesterday, I was a huge bundle of nerves when I arrived. I was shaking and couldn’t get all the anxious thoughts out of my head. I am so lucky that the hygienist I work with understands my anxiety so she does things to help make them better. She checked my teeth first to see if there was anything that concerned her and she was able to tell me that there was nothing there that seemed like something to monitor. That helps the anxiety go away a bit. It’s still not fun while my teeth get cleaned and I’m always pinching myself or doing something else to distract me from what’s happening. It doesn’t necessarily hurt, but I still have the feeling that something is going to go wrong.
One of the reasons I was feeling that way is because I’ve been dealing with some odd things with my teeth and gums. Usually during the time that I have PMS symptoms, my gums bleed when I brush my teeth and occasionally there is a tooth that feels not right. Sometimes it feels like I have a tooth that is loose, but when I feel it the tooth feels normal. I brought this up during my dentist appointment and it turns out these things are not uncommon. Hormonal changes can do weird things and having bleeding gums or teeth that might feel loose are a symptom of some inflammation that can happen due to hormones. I was relieved to know that it was not a sign of something wrong, but I know that each time it happens I will be a bit paranoid that it’s the sign of something else besides hormonal inflammation.
Once my appointment was done, I finally felt normal again. I was not shaking and I could get the panicky thoughts out of my head. It was weird to have such a panicky dentist appointment since they have been much better lately. I’m glad that my panic was all in my head and nothing was wrong, but I also know that delaying my appointment might have contributed to this as well. So I’m going to try not to have to change my appointment that close to the date again. I am hoping that the timing of when I scheduled my next appointment will work, but I also know now to take a look at things a month ahead to make sure it should be fine with when I feel nauseous.
I hate feeling anxious, panicky, and stressed going to the dentist; but it’s also not the worst thing either. As my hygienist mentioned at my appointment, this also means I’m very aware of what is happening with my teeth. I know that genetically I don’t have great teeth and that I have to be on top of taking care of them. I have a good electric toothbrush, floss pretty much every day, and use the toothpaste and mouthwash that my dentist recommends. And I go every 4 months to make sure everything is fine. This is a much better situation to be in than if I was ignoring problems or not paying attention to what’s happening until it’s too late.
I’m just glad I made it through this appointment and I’m hoping that maybe my anxiety level will go back down to where it was last time before my next appointment.