As expected with this past week of workouts, I spent part of it dealing with nausea. It was actually split in half for me. I was feeling awful on Monday and Wednesday and felt much better on Friday and Saturday. And fortunately, it seems like my vertigo is almost completely gone so I didn’t have to deal with that as well. I still have moments of vertigo, but it’s not that frequent and it’s not always triggered by the same exercises. So even with having moments of vertigo, it’s not causing that many issues in my workouts.
As I’ve dealt with so many times in recent months, motivation has been hard to find sometimes. I really want to feel strong and like I’m working hard, but then when I’m working out I just can’t push myself. I think it’s not just about the workout, it’s just the state of the world and feeling not like myself. And I will continue to try to figure out what I can do to get over this, but I don’t know if that will change until I’m not doing my workouts at home anymore.
And speaking of workouts at home, this past week marked 9 months since I’ve been doing workouts at home. Every time I hit some sort of milestone with working out at home, I’m shocked. When things shut down, nobody thought we’d still be shut down 9 months later. I remember thinking about how hard it was going to be to miss a month of Orangetheory. Missing 9 months of Orangetheory was just unimaginable to me. And I can only hope that it will not take 9 more months before I can do workouts outside of my house. But that does seem like a safe hope.
I could technically go to the outdoor workouts now, but I’m still just not ready. I want to make sure it will be safe for me. I don’t know if that will mean I need to be vaccinated before I feel safe or if the cases just have to go down for me to feel that way. I am not going to push myself to go until I feel safe because I know if I’m worried about things I won’t be able to get everything out of the workout. I want to feel safe now, but I can’t force myself to get there.
I am also worried about how much weaker or out of shape I might be when I go back. That fear is a little easier to deal with because I know that it’s inevitable and I just will have to get over that. But no matter how far I’ve fallen from where I was before, I know I’m stronger than I was when I first started going. And hopefully, it will be easier to get back where I was once I am back in a class (whether it is an outdoor class or back in the studio).
But I am still just reminding myself every workout that at least I did something. I could have skipped them. It would be very easy to just not work out. Nobody is forcing me to work out. I am motivating myself and that is something to be proud of. And even if I’m not maxing out what I can do in every workout, there were moments this past week where I felt like I worked really hard. They were only moments and not entire workouts, but it still felt amazing.
The next 2 weeks of workouts will be a bit odd. I’m working with both trying to do my typical holiday workouts and a new work schedule. And my work schedule is not what it will normally be because of the holidays. So I will be doing a mix of my normal workouts at normal times and weird workout times or days. But I’m still hoping I will get at least 3 workouts in a week.
And once it is the new year, I will most likely no longer be able to do my workouts at home in the morning. I will be working every day starting at 9am. And I could wake up earlier than normal and try to get a workout in first (which I am still debating). But I will be done with work around 1pm so it shouldn’t be too hard to do an afternoon workout. It’s not what I’m used to and I don’t know if I’ll like doing that, but that’s kind of how this year went with my workouts. I am not used to home workouts and I don’t love them. But I still did them. And I have figured out how to make it work. And I’ll do the same with the new schedule in the new year.