I’ve had several friends that have been in ruts lately. Sometimes they realize this on their own, and sometimes they have something dramatic happen in their lives and then they realize they can’t just keep doing things the same way anymore. Either way, I’m always so proud of my friends when they are able to make positive changes for themselves. They always seem so much happier and all I want for my friends is for them to be happy.
I’ve been in a couple of ruts in the past before. Sometimes it’s a rut with my day job and sometimes it’s a rut with my fitness or health. It’s not easy to change things up, but when I do I always feel so much better and I feel like the change was necessary. These ruts have led me to some new and fun things and I’ve never really had any regrets. I just see these changes as positive moves in my life and even if they don’t work for me I am glad I just tried to see if they would.
I don’t necessarily feel like I’m in a rut right now, but because I have so many friends going through them I’ve been questioning it. Things have been pretty stable and boring for me lately, but I like that. I have things in my life that are hectic or dramatic, so I like having other aspects of my life normal and routine. But I also know that sometimes when I feel this sense of comfort in my life that means I do need to make a change.
The main thing I have been debating about is my day job situation. I’m fine with my box office job right now. I would love if I got paid a bit more, but I should be getting a small raise around the new year. But my other day job hasn’t been able to tell me yet when they can bring me back. I haven’t worked for them since the end of September. I thought a month or two off wouldn’t be too bad since that job didn’t pay me that much. But even missing that little bit of income is affecting me and I know I need to figure out something.
I’m going to try to wait it out a bit more because I do want to keep working that job. It’s really an ideal situation because I can do it between the customers at my box office job and my boss knows me well so she doesn’t have to micromanage me. Plus, I actually enjoyed the work. It wasn’t that tough to find events to add to the calendar, but it was fun seeing what different things were happening around LA and different organizations that I might be interested in doing things with in the future.
I think waiting it out really is the right choice because I’m so unsure if I need to make a change. I don’t want to stress too much about when I will be working with them again, but I also know that eventually if they can’t add me to a new contract that I will need to find a new job. So I have casually looked at jobs online to see what is out there. It’s tough because I have requirements that aren’t always compatible with all jobs, but at least I’m not under a time crunch right now.
I think that this uncertainty with my job is just something that I feel from time to time. I have felt it with almost all jobs I’ve had as an adult. I wonder if I am doing what I should be doing or if I will be blindsided one day by losing my job. I want to be a step ahead so that if I do lose my job I am not at a disadvantage. I’ve been in jobs where I had no clue I was going to be let go and I hate that feeling. But I also know that this situation I’m in now isn’t that. As soon as my boss has a better idea of what will be happening she’ll let me know. It has nothing to do with me or my job performance. It’s just the downside of working a contract gig that depends on government funding.
I have said this a million times before and I’m sure I’ll say it again, but just getting all that out has made me feel so much better. I needed to rant and typing it out has helped me get into a better mindset. This blog seriously is one of my best forms of therapy.