I’ve blogged about my alarm clock before. I know that some of you must think that I’m crazy, but that alarm clock meant so much to me.
That alarm clock was a gift for my high school graduation from one of my dad’s coworkers. That means that I got it over 14 years ago (I’m shocked it lasted so long). When I was in high school, I was horrible getting up in the morning for school. I would have multiple alarm clock is going off, and I would still sleep through them. My mom or dad would always have to come and get me up for the day. When I graduated high school, I was worried about how I would get up for class every morning. And that alarm clock saved my butt.
I never unintentionally overslept for a class the entire time I was in college (sorry Mom and Dad that there was a class or two that I intentionally slept through). That alarm clock was so annoying that I had to get up every morning just to turn it off. I continue to use that alarm clock after college. With the exception of one time, I never missed a morning.
This alarm clock has been dying on me the past couple of years. I’ve managed to revive it multiple times, and every time I get it back I’m glad that I don’t have to look for a new alarm clock. For some reason in my head, I feel like no other alarm clock will be good enough for me.
But the other day, the alarm clock died. There was no saving it. It’s totally dead. I think that the speaker inside the alarm clock died. That’s not something that can be fixed by changing the batteries, and I’m sure however much it would be to fix is too much money. This alarm clock was made by Sharper Image, and it’s not for sale anywhere anymore. I even checked eBay with no luck. I did find a friend who has the exact same alarm clock at her parents’ home and promised to sell it to me the next time she traveled home and got it.
Since I can’t wait for forever for a new alarm clock, I finally had to suck it up and get a new one. I managed to find one with similar features on Amazon, and it was shipped to my house the other day.
I also use my phone and my Fitbit as alarm clocks, so I wasn’t just relying on the new untested alarm clock. But this new alarm clock works just fine. I woke up in the morning without oversleeping, and I was able to start my day just like I was with the old alarm clock.
So why am I writing about this?
Because I think my fear of getting a new alarm clock has a lot to do with other things in my life. Maybe it’s related to my panic anxiety disorder or maybe it’s part of my OCD. I know that I did have OCD related to the alarm clock. I had to test it every night by pressing the snooze button (which would make a noise) and I needed it to sound “perfect” twice in a row before I could go to bed. I’m aware how that is obviously OCD, but since it wasn’t really harming anyone I never felt like I needed treatment for it.
But whatever issue was holding me back from getting a new alarm clock is gone now that I have a new one in my home. I was forced into this change and it was a good thing for me. I feel a sense of relief now that I’m not scared about my old alarm clock dying anymore. It’s very strange sensation.
The new alarm clock is still relatively new in my life, so I don’t know how this relief will relate to other things in my life. I do feel a sense of calm and lack of anxiety that I didn’t have before.
It’s strange how something as basic as an alarm clock can cause so much fear in so many parts of your life. I’m hoping that this letting go can be a new trend my life and perhaps lead me to other positive things.