As I wrote in some posts earlier this week, recently I was pretty sick. I’m sorry for the short posts those days, but honestly I was really taken down by this bug. It was really hard to do most things, including type. I am so lucky I work from home and it’s not the busy season because I didn’t have to do a ton of work while I was feeling my worst. And I didn’t work my other job while I was very sick because I knew I couldn’t be accurate with checking information online. But that job is flexible with hours so I can make up what I missed over the next few days or weeks.
When I first noticed symptoms that I was probably getting sick, they weren’t too bad. I was hoping I could beat the bug before it got me really sick and I think that mindset stuck with me. When things started getting back, I was still trying to pretend that I wasn’t that sick and that whatever I had last year was actually worse. Now that I’m finally over the hump of this bug, I can say that I probably was actually sicker than last year yet I didn’t take care of myself as if that was true.
I don’t know if I didn’t want to admit that I was as sick as I was or I honestly didn’t think it was as bad, but whatever the reason I think that maybe not thinking this was that bad was the reason why I’m still dealing with this a week later. I’m significantly better than I was a few days ago, but I’m still not 100% and I’m wondering how long it will take me to get there. I’m exhausted every day in the afternoon and I could probably nap multiple times a day if I had the chance. I’m trying to not nap too much because it messes up my sleep schedule, but sometimes I have to cave and just sleep for an hour or so.
I’m usually good at taking care of myself when I’m sick. I know that because I live alone I have to not overdo things. If I’m too tired to get things done that need to be done, there’s nobody else in my house to do it. I could always call a friend to help, but I’m stubborn and like to do things for myself. And I was ok with letting go of some things in order to make sure I had the ability to do others (I did delivery food more than I want to admit because it helped me not need to go to the grocery store). And I don’t think that going to some workouts this week hurt me since I was not working nearly as hard as normal. Just getting some movement in during the day helped since I did the class in the morning when I was feeling my best.
But besides the few little self-care things I did this past week to take care of myself, I really didn’t do as much as normal to be gentle to myself while I was sick. I was getting very frustrated that I couldn’t do things or that I was taking longer to get something done and I wasn’t letting being sick be an excuse. I don’t know why I was so hard on myself but I know it was happening multiple times a day. I would blame so many other reasons for things not working out without considering that while I’m sick that maybe I shouldn’t have the same expectations that I would have when I’m feeling normal.
Even with not feeling totally better I’m still noticing I’m being hard on myself. I have to keep reminding myself that I’m still recovering and I don’t want to do something that will keep me sick longer. I know that I have friends and family that don’t have the luxuries that I do with being gentle on themselves when they are sick. They have jobs they have to go to no matter what or they have to take care of a child or elderly family member. I know that I am lucky that I don’t have to stress about that and I should appreciate it, but it also makes me feel bad when I’m not doing everything like normal when those other friends are able to do that while they are sick.
I’m lucky that I don’t get sick like this that often. I used to deal with multiple bouts of strep throat a year before I had my tonsils out and it was pretty awful. I think on average I get sick like this once a year and it’s not always this bad. And I am getting better at tolerating being sick and making sure that I am not completely bedridden or unable to do anything during that time. But I might have taken that idea a little too far this time and forgot that I should not stress about being normal when I’m sick.
For now, while I finish beating this cold I’m going to work on doing a few extra self-care things that I probably should have been doing all week. I’m hoping that being kind to myself for the next few days that I will finally be over this bug and back to feeling fine. I’m ready to be back to the normal me and to not have to worry about feeling sick and lethargic.
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Another Sick Day Post (or Sorry For Two In A Row)
A Low Key Post (or I Guess Things Come In Threes)
Being Sick (or Feeling Off)
Yup, I’m Sick (or Trying To Take Care Of Me)
An Evening At Urgent Care (or Why Being Polite Is Always Best)
Figuring Out Some Self-Care (or Working On My Physical And Mental Health)
