Posted onMarch 29, 2019|Comments Off on A Job Hunting Update (or Making Sure I Don’t Repeat My Financial Year Again)
Even though I haven’t been writing about looking for a job lately, I’ve still been doing that on almost a daily basis. My job hunt isn’t quite as intense as it was before because I do have the temporary job with my old work. And through that temporary job I will actually be making more money than I did all of last year with that job, so I should be ok for a while as long as I budget correctly (which is why budgeting again is so important for me).
I would love for there to be more temporary jobs for me to do with this old job throughout the year because it really is a great job for me. I can do it between my customers at my box office job (both bosses at both jobs are aware that I do this) and it’s easy enough for me to do. It does take a bit of time because of the work I have to do to confirm the data, but it’s not difficult. I feel very confident that I can do the work well and quickly and that always helps me feel better about work.
And of course, I love that this temporary job as well as my main job are remote. There are lots of benefits for me to work from home and I will admit that I have gotten spoiled by being able to do so. It allows me to work from another location if I’m out of town so I don’t have to miss as much work as I would when I leave LA to be with my family for Thanksgiving. I don’t have to worry about a commute or the cost of gas and wear and tear on my car. I don’t have to worry about planning for lunches because I’m home and can make whatever I have in my fridge. And of course, I can work when I’m not feeling well.
Working while sick isn’t always fun, but I’m grateful that I can do it. I don’t get sick that often, but when I do get sick it’s usually pretty bad. And I know that I shouldn’t be around other people. So working while sick is a benefit to me. But it’s not just when I’m sick with a cold or bug of some type, it’s also a benefit when I’m nauseous.
I honestly don’t know what I would do if I had to work at an office while nauseous. I’m sure that I would find some way to deal with it, but with how I feel now I just don’t want to think about it. I like having all my medications and remedies nearby when I need them. I don’t have to worry about using a public bathroom when I’m sick or that there isn’t an empty bathroom near me. And I don’t have to explain myself to anyone who sees me at my worst.
Just for the benefit of being able to work without worrying about others when nauseous makes me really focus my job searching on remote positions. I’m aware that finding a remote job is not as easy as finding a job working in an office. But it does feel like it is an important thing for me to find so that I don’t have to worry about what will happen when I’m not feeling my best.
And for right now, I can be a little bit picky. I am good for at least the next few months. Of course, making more money is better because I can put it toward things like paying off my credit card or building some savings. So while I’m being choosy, I’m still looking for a new job every day. It’s something I spend time doing each day, but I don’t stress about it the same way. I’m probably spending 10-15 minutes a day searching on various job hunting sites and applying for anything that seems right for me. I do still look at non-remote jobs, but I don’t apply to them as often as I do with remote jobs.
I’m hoping I find something before my temporary job ends so that I don’t have to stress about things. I’m trying to remind myself that even if I don’t find a new job by then, I should be ok as long as I am careful with my money. I don’t want to be in the same position as I was at the end of last year, and I know there are things I can do to make sure of that no matter my job situation. But it will take a lot of hard work and staying on top of things. And if I find a new job before I have to worry about it, then all this detail work will just benefit me with budgeting the new job.
I feel like every month I write a post about things that I’ve learned through dating. I still find it crazy that I have learned so much about myself through how I am treated in the dating world. While I don’t use that to determine things about myself, it shows me things about myself that I might not have realized. And this just keeps happening over and over again.
I think part of why this is happening so often is because I am dating so often. When I was in my 20’s, I rarely dated. I wasn’t active on apps and I think I was probably being too picky. I would refuse a second date if I couldn’t see things going far. Now, while I’m still picky I’m also more open-minded. I will give a guy a second chance if I wasn’t sure about them. I’ve been open to meeting guys that I am not totally sure about and I’m not putting as much pressure on myself about dating as I did before.
My goal is still to find someone who I want to build a life with, but I also know that I might not know from the first date if someone has that potential. There are guys I met that I had pretty mediocre first dates with that ended up being really great guys. Sometimes there are just nerves or other factors that make the first date not the most accurate way to judge someone.
And yes, I’m having fun. I still have bad dates, but I find positives out of those dates. I would say a majority of the time I do have fun even if the particular date or guy isn’t fun.
But I have also made myself vulnerable to being hurt and have had to experience that a few times. Being hurt is not fun and I am working on figuring how to handle it better each time that it happens. I’m getting much better at dealing with being ghosted. I still hate it and think it’s so immature when guys can’t just say they don’t want to see you again, but I also realize that their decision to ghost has very little to do with me.
I’ve also had to deal with someone who hurt me much more than just ghosting me coming back into my life through texting. I am not dating them again nor do I plan to. He is engaged and has been reaching out to me to talk about some things. He has said he misses me and is confused, but that is his problem and not mine. While I do respond to his messages with honest answers, I do not reach out to him or start conversations with him. I keep telling him that he needs to discuss these issues with his fiancée and not me. He has brought up a lot of things from our past and we had some very intense texting discussion. But it has helped me find some closure.
When things ended between me and this guy, I was blindsided and couldn’t understand why. I still don’t understand a lot of what happened, but I have learned that because I didn’t give this guy an ultimatum about what we were he didn’t think I wanted to keep dating. Yes, I probably could have been more forceful about what I want, but I shouldn’t have to do that. If that is what this guy needed from me, I clearly am not the right girl for him.
In that same discussion with this guy, I came to another realization. I never thought much about the idea of need vs want for dating. But I realized this guy wants to be with someone who needs him (or at least acts like they need him). He wants someone who will be grateful for every little thing they do and he wants to feel like their life wouldn’t be what it is without him. But to me, I think wanting someone is so much stronger than needing someone. I will never need a guy to be a complete person. I want to find someone who adds to my life. I want to find someone who I want to create a life with. I want to find someone who makes my life better, but doesn’t make my life happen. If a guy is looking for a girl who needs them, then they aren’t the guy for me.
Coming to the realization of need vs want was a big one for me. After this guy told me he never knew I wanted to keep seeing him, I started to wonder what would have happened if I had been more upfront and forceful about things. Now I know that there is no way things would have worked out for us. This gave me so much closure. There is no question in my head that he was never the guy for me. Maybe if we kept seeing each other we would have dated for a while, but there is no way that we would have ended up together. I can never be the type of girl who will act like she needs someone.
I understand that never being someone who will act like they need another person might limit the guys who are interested in me. But I’m ok with that. I do not want to have to put on an act to make someone else happy. I was raised to be strong and independent. I think those are good qualities to have. And I don’t think I need to make myself less of a strong or independent person to find someone. I will find someone who loves those qualities in me and will appreciate it.
And the idea of need vs want goes both ways. I do not want to meet a guy who acts like he needs me. I want someone to want me. I want someone who also is independent and has their own life as well. I do not want my life to be all about another person nor do I want their life to be all about me.
While I will probably never be happy that this guy hurt me the way that he did, I do have to be a bit grateful for everything that happened. I still wish it ended a different way because there was no need for it to end as negatively as it did. But I also don’t know if I would have still discovered the same things about myself if it ended better. And now that I understand what type of relationship I truly want or could provide to someone else, I feel like I can put some focus on that idea. I don’t know how to put that into action just yet, but I’m sure I’ll figure it out.
Posted onMarch 27, 2019|Comments Off on Enjoying A Mini-Splurge (or Sometimes The Best Plans Are The Simplest Plans)
I’ve struggled with the balance of scheduling enough fun for myself and making sure I don’t get over-scheduled and overwhelmed. It’s a hard balance to find and I know that it will be something that I have to probably work on for my entire life. I usually have a run of going way too much and need to take time to be home alone for a while. Then after I’ve been avoiding plans I feel like my life is too boring and need to go out and do things. I go back and forth all the time and wish it was easy to find the perfect middle ground.
One way that I know I can find a middle ground and balance is to have really simple and easy plans with friends. When I see my friends it doesn’t always have to be an elaborate event or something that requires a lot of planning. Just going and getting a quick dinner or something with a friend can do so much good for my mental health.
This week, I had one of those simple but fun plans with a friend. Mondays are my day off of work and I don’t always plan something fun. Sometimes it ends up being my day to catch up on things I need to do to be ready for my week. But a friend and I decided that we should go to a movie when she was done with work, so I had plenty of time to do what I needed to do and go to a movie. We really didn’t end up making the plans until about an hour before the movie started, but it was so easy to figure out when we could go and just do it.
I rarely pay to see movies because of the screenings I have access to, but I hadn’t gotten a screening invite to see “Captain Marvel” and I really wanted to see it. I was more than willing to pay to see it, plus I like to support with my money when I can and I want to support female led films. My friend has the AMC annual pass for movies, so we went to the AMC theater that was closest to us. I let her organize the tickets since I don’t know how the movie pass things work. So I just paid her cash for my ticket after she ordered it.
The tickets were more expensive than I thought, but I figured it was because I rarely pay for tickets and I probably forgot how much it was to go to a movie. We got some popcorn (another treat since the screenings I go to don’t allow you to have food) and went to the theater.
Turns out, the reason the tickets were expensive was because we were in the fancy theater at that AMC. The seats were larger than normal and had a few different reclining options. And there were fewer seats than a normal theater so there was extra leg room in each row. It felt much more like a nice screening room than a regular movie theater. Yes, we could have gone to a cheaper movie if we had realized we were going to a time in one of the nicer theaters, but it didn’t matter too much. Since I don’t go to movies at AMC often, it’s nice to do something special when I do.
Before the movie started, my friend and I both kept saying how this felt so luxurious. It wasn’t a huge splurge, but it really felt like it. We were already excited to see the movie, but getting to see it in a nice reclined chair with large armrests was going to make it that much better!
And “Captain Marvel” didn’t disappoint! I loved the movie and the message that it had. It was a very empowering movie and I’m so glad that we had another female superhero movie out there. It’s not that common to see that and I think they need to make more of them. And not only was the message good, I think it was one of the best soundtracks for a superhero film I’ve seen! The music was from when I was in middle school, so I knew all of the songs. I’m not a big music person, so for me to know the songs is pretty rare.
My friend and I didn’t do anything after the movie. We talked about maybe getting dinner, but we ended up not doing it. But that didn’t matter. Just going out to a movie felt so out of my normal routine and special and it was exactly the type of casual friend hang out that I need to do more of. It required almost no planning or organizing, but it was just as fun as some of the more elaborate things I organize. Plus, I got to see an amazing movie that I’ve been wanting to see!
Posted onMarch 26, 2019|Comments Off on Doing Some Marathon Watching (or Helping Random Runners Power Up)
For the past several years, I have gone out to cheer on the runners of the LA Marathon. It’s become a tradition for me to do it, and while it doesn’t always work out the way I hope it will I try my best. I usually cheer runners on from the same place, which I think has a few benefits. First, it’s one of the closest places for me to drive to that is on the marathon route. Also, my friends who run the marathon year after year usually know where I am so I can cheer them on directly.
I haven’t always had signs with me when I cheer on the runners, but that has become something I look forward to doing. I love having fun signs because I know it makes the runners smile. While I’ve never done a marathon, I know that there are points in my 5K races that I need to be cheered on and having fun signs to read is a good distraction. So I want to do the same for others. And I have been told by many marathon running friends that the place I usually cheer on from (between miles 19 and 20) tends to be a place many runners hit a wall so all encouragement is appreciated.
I didn’t start working on what I wanted on my cheering signs until the last minute. I asked my friend who was going to be joining me to cheer if there was any particular sign she wanted me to make (I’m happy to make the signs for my friends to hold too). She thought about it, and decided this is what she wanted.
I also wanted a sign that was specific to Orangetheory since I knew several people from there would be running too. I had a few ideas of what I could put on a sign, and this was the final decision.
And even though it was only going to be me and 1 friend out there, I wanted to make a 3rd sign since one was specific to Orangetheory people. I looked at a few different lists online of funny signs and I saw one that a kid had at a marathon a few years ago. But I figured it would be a really good one to have.
Making the signs is a pretty easy process since I get paper letters from the store (my handwriting is way too sloppy) and I was proud of what I made and how they looked when I was done.
Marathon day ended up being a really gorgeous day. It was sunny but not too hot. And we lucked out with very little traffic on the way there and we found a parking space pretty quickly. We had been tracking the pace of the friends we wanted to cheer on, and we were standing on the sideline before any of them already went by.
Even with the tracking the marathon provided, we kind of failed at cheering on our friends. Some of them we didn’t see even though we knew approximately when they would be going by. And several people we did see but they were on the other side of the street and didn’t see us (and they had headphones in so they couldn’t hear us cheer). It was a little disappointing that we didn’t get to directly cheer on the people we wanted to see, but that didn’t mean we weren’t going to cheer on for all the people we didn’t know.
It took a little bit of time, but my sign ended up being a pretty big hit. People were running by and tapping the sign to power up. There were even some people who were on the other side of the street that noticed the sign and came over just to tap it. Everyone who saw any of our signs had a big smile and I know that they enjoyed them. The only mistake I made with my power up sign was that I didn’t reinforce in somehow. After a bunch of people were tapping it, the sign was starting to bend and it was harder to hold it steady as more people came over to tap it. But I just tried to hold the sign tight and I think it worked out well.
We were out there cheering on the runners for about 2 hours before we had to head out. There was a family standing near us that was also cheering on runners but didn’t have a sign, so we offered them the power up sign. The kids were super excited to have it and I was glad that more runners were going to get joy out of it.
I know that some people are a bit annoyed with the marathon because of all the street closures and sometimes traffic can be really horrible. But I do enjoy it. Any time I can see a group of strangers come together for something positive is something I like to see. I love getting to cheer on the runners because I know that they appreciate it. And hopefully next year when I cheer for the marathon some of my friends will see me so I can cheer them up directly!
Posted onMarch 25, 2019|Comments Off on Still Working On Getting Better (or Starting To See My Normal Again)
I’m still working through this bug that is in my system, and I knew it was going to take a while. It’s a bit annoying that I can’t get over this, but I’m trying to stay hopeful that I’ll be over it soon. And one of the things that has been helping me see that I am getting over it slowly has been my workouts. Since the last symptoms I’ve been experiencing have been related to breathing (like coughing and being short of breath), working out has been a good way to judge my progress getting over it.
Monday’s workout was a power day, and even though it was a 3 group workout it had a bit of a run/row format. When it was the cardio or rowing block, we switched back and forth. For the cardio block, I was on the bike twice and the rower once and when I was on the rowing block I was on the rower twice and the bike once. But instead of starting with cardio like I normally do, I had to start on the floor this time.
The floor work was one long block that had mini-blocks in it. We first had a mini-block with 3 rounds of chest fly on the Bosu and plank jacks. Then it was a mini-block of 3 rounds of chest press on the Bosu and pop jacks. And the last mini-block was 3 rounds of hip raises and push-ups. After completing all the mini-blocks we did all the exercises as one long block. It was definitely weird for me to start on the floor and I felt strange. I had a warm-up before we started, but I’m used to feeling much more warmed up. I was using close to my heaviest weights for the weighted work which was good. Some of the work on my back was tough because of the congestion I was dealing with, but it was nothing like the week before.
For the bike work (whether I was doing a cardio block or rowing block), it was always the same thing. We had a 90 second push pace, 1 minute base pace, and 90 second distance challenge. I used my new push pace resistance level for the push and I used the level between my new push and all out paces for the distance challenge. They were short bursts on the bike so I was able to go a bit harder than I thought I could. Every time I finished on the bike, I was back on the rower and had a bit of time to rest and get my heart rate back.
Every time I was on the rower, we had the same thing as well. We started with a 200 meter row followed by squats. Then a 150 meter row and squats and a 100 meter row and squats. I never made it to the last set of squats for any of the times I was on there, but I was doing the squats like we were supposed to. I wasn’t modifying things because of how I was feeling and that was such a great feeling. I really was feeling strong and tough while rowing and I even worked on my form a bit more and got some guidance on some hand placement that might help me row better when we have distance rows.
Wednesday’s workout was an endurance day and we didn’t have switches between blocks so I was at each station for about 15 minutes. That is one of the ways that an endurance day is an endurance focus, but it is also all about not having to have recovery time when doing cardio. There is an emphasis about not going below base pace during the block and I worked hard at doing that.
For cardio, we started with a few rounds of push to base pace which increased each round. And without a recovery after that we went into a 4 minute progressive push pace that went into an all out pace. That’s not an easy 15 minutes to do, but I was determined to test myself with how my endurance was doing after being so sick. I did have to take a few breaks to get water (I still can’t drink water while pedaling on the bike), but I never did go below my base pace resistance level. I was using my new push pace level for the regular push paces. And when we did the progressive push, I started at 1 level above my base pace and went up 1 level every minute. It was not easy to keep going and not bring the level down, but I made it through. Since I track the distance I do in workouts I know that I didn’t go as far on the bike as I thought I would, but I think that just means I wasn’t pedaling as hard and quick as I might do with other workouts.
Once I got on the rower, I took a bit of time to recover and get my heart rate down a bit. I can recover my heart rate faster than I could before, so it didn’t take too long. The rower started with 4 rounds of 150 meter rows with squats holding a medicine ball between each row. Then we had 2 rounds of a 300 meter row and the squats became squats with an overhead press. Then we had a 600 meter row and I was working on that row when the block ended. My rows were all under the time goals, but it took me a bit of time to recover from each row and get to the squats which slowed me down a bit.
And on the floor, we had 2 blocks that had a lot of focus on lunges. Several things had to be modified by me, but it was because of my hip issues and not because I was feeling off. The first block had kneeling lunges with overhead presses with weights, regular lunges while holding the weights up, and side plank dips. And the second block had regular lunges without weights, squats, single leg squats, and leg lift abs. My legs were shaky by the end of class, but I honestly felt so good to feel like that.
Friday’s workout was a power day and we had a lot of timing ourselves during the workout. We had repeating distance challenges with cardio and the rowing, but my main focus wasn’t beating my distance but doing each challenge as hard as I could.
For cardio, we had 3 different 4 minute challenges. Each challenge was doing a push pace for a certain distance, having a 30 second recovery, and then an all out for a certain distance. Even though I wasn’t tracking my distance to see if I could beat it each time, I did track it so I could do my push and all out paces for the right amount of time. Each block I was ending my all out pace about 20 seconds before the block ended, so I just kept going with it. I know I was working hard and I was also able to not take breaks to catch my breath or drink water during each block. It was nice to be able to wait to do those things until we had real recovery time.
On the rower, it was also 3 different 4 minute challenges. We had rounds of 30 seconds of rowing and medicine ball squats to overhead presses. This was harder on me than the bike work. As much as I wanted to go hard with my rowing, it was taking me so much time to catch my breath between the rowing and the squats and I didn’t want to lose that time. I didn’t go as slowly as I did when I was really sick, but I did have to row much slower than I wanted to.
For the floor, we had 1 long block that had 3 mini-blocks in it. We had 3 rounds of one mini-block before moving on to the next one. The first mini-block had squats to thrusters and uppercuts. The second mini-block had pull ups on the straps and high rows on the straps. And the last mini-block had skater lunges and sumo squats. I was able to do my normal weights for the weighted work, but I had to modify the pull ups on the straps to be low rows using the straps instead. My body wasn’t acting coordinated enough to do those properly and I didn’t want to do something that might hurt myself.
Saturday’s workout was a strength day, and I was feeling ready for it. I was doing so much good work on the bike and I was ready to play with my resistance levels to simulate hill work. I still wasn’t totally better, but I was going to push myself to prove that I wasn’t as limited as I had been the week before.
For cardio, we had 2 blocks that were very similar. The first block had a push pace, a base pace, a base pace with incline work, a regular base pace, and ended with a push to an all out pace. The second block was the same pattern but the incline work was longer. I used my new resistance levels for all of the regular work. And for the hills I used the level between my push and all out level. The hill work was really tough, but it’s supposed to be tough. Because these blocks were a little longer than the ones on Friday, there were a few times I needed a break to cough and get some water, but nothing compared to what I was having to do before.
On the rower, we started with a 500 meter row and then we had squat to press and calf raises while holding a medicine ball. Then the row went down my 100 meters and the squats increased and calf raises decreased. That pattern continued for the entire time we were on the rower. I was able to do my rowing with a slightly higher average wattage than normal which surprised me. But I think it might have been because I’ve been working on my form so much so I can be an efficient rower. I did skip the last round of squats and calf raises because it was the last minute of the block and I decided to just keep rowing.
And on the floor, we had one long block. All of the exercises had 5 reps per side so they went really quickly. We had single leg sit to stands, suitcase squats with a weight, half getups with weights, and a hollow hold chest press with weights. I did go heavy for my squats since I know that I can go heavier than I think I can. And it did help that there weren’t a ton of reps for each exercise so I could test out what I could do. I didn’t have to worry about doing them for a long time or worry that my form would get sloppy over time.
Overall, I felt like this past week of workouts was really all about proving to myself that I’m doing better than I thought and that I’m not as sick as I was the week before. It’s so hard to judge progress in so many different aspects of life, but pushing myself with workouts and seeing how I felt during them really did help.
Of course, I’ll probably be better toward the end of this week and that’s when my nausea will likely be kicking in. It sometimes feels like I never get a break from having tough workout weeks, but I’m trying to reframe my mindset and think of them as challenges to overcome and not just tolerate.
A while ago, I started working hard on budgeting. I had tried so many different budgeting apps and sites over the years and I never felt like they worked for me. I always knew how important it was to budget, but I just couldn’t do it. This changed when I started using YNAB and I figured out how to use it (the first time I used it I was making mistakes that made it difficult for me to understand things).
For a long time, I was using YNAB religiously. I was able to properly budget for the first time in my life and I was so aware of my financial situation. This was so much more than I ever thought I could have and I was so happy. While my money situation isn’t the best, I felt better knowing exactly what it was. There were no surprises about where I would find the money to pay for certain things and I was using my credit card mindfully. While I wasn’t perfect, I knew I wasn’t perfect and I felt better about any mistakes I might have had.
Toward the end of last year, my financial situation got into a really bad place. There was one month I didn’t have money to pay my rent. I am so grateful that my parents were able to help me out, but it was still a very embarrassing time for me and I am ashamed that I had to do it. And when this was all happening, I stopped budgeting.
There was no point in me budgeting when it was just going to show that I was over-budgeted every month. I hated seeing all the red numbers on the budget knowing that I wasn’t really able to change it. I wasn’t budgeting categories like food or fun things. My bills and rent were making me in the red. While I loved having control, this was making me feel more out of control and I was starting to panic. So for my mental health, I had to stop budgeting for a bit.
I’m in a slightly better spot now with money. This is a temporary fix because my contract with my old job is only for a few more months. But the fact that this contract is temporary is the exact reason why I need to get back to my old habit of budgeting.
There is the possibility that the money I make in these few months could cover me for a good portion of the year. The only way to make that happen is to budget and to make sure that I am using my money properly. So I need to get back to doing just that and being just as serious as I was before.
Because I took a break from budgeting, I will have to start things over. It will be too complicated for me to go back to my old budget and update things since I would have to find a way to zero things out. And I can use this opportunity to reevaluate what categories I have for my budget and where I want to make sure my money is going or saved for. Plus, I think starting over will eliminate the potential panic I could feel if I tried to go back to the old budget that caused me some mental distress.
I’m trying to get this set up quickly, but I’m also trying to not rush through it. I want to take my time with getting everything the way I want it to be and to make sure I’m not missing anything. I want to have things as clear as I can for me so that I can see the full financial picture that I currently have and will have. And I also want to take the time to review the best practices for using YNAB so I don’t make any silly mistakes or worry about how to do something.
My goal is to have this up and running by next week for sure. I’ve been trying to get the budget part set up for the past day and I keep looking at it to make sure that it’s how I want it to look. There are adjustments that I’ve been making to make sure I don’t forget anything that I will need. I also have been trying to simplify things since I think that having too many categories can be an issue too.
It’s nice to be getting back on track with my money and budgeting. I can’t control that many things in my life, but this does bring me a small sense of control over what really is a bit of an out of control situation. And maybe I’ll be able to prevent the issues that I had at the end of last year by being more aware about things. I know that there were things that I probably did wrong that made my money situation worse than it needed to be.
Ideally, I will find a new job this year (yes, I’m still searching and applying for jobs almost every day) and that will help my financial situation to get to a place where I don’t have to worry about money as much. But having more money doesn’t mean I won’t budget things. I will just be able to budget for things that are more fun than bills and paying off my credit card. I would love to save for a trip or buying some things I want to have. And ultimately I’d like to find a way to start budgeting for buying a condo one day.
But for now, I just want to get back into a habit of budgeting so that when I’m ready to budget for fun things I already have the skills I need to do that.
Posted onMarch 21, 2019|Comments Off on Forgetting To Document Some Things (or Focusing On Being In The Now)
With all the technology we have available to us, it’s so easy to document things that we experience. We can take photos and videos of everything we see to share or remember them by. And since we aren’t restricted by using up film we can take photos of things that we don’t care about that much or take dozens of photos to make sure we get the right image. And of course, there are endless ways we can share those photos too.
I’m totally someone who can be obsessed with getting the right photos. My friends know when we go to Wood & Vine that they can’t take a bite until I get the perfect picture to share on here. They know that sometimes I’ll ask them to move their cup or something else on the table so I get the perfect shot. I think they find it a bit funny, but I’m grateful they indulge me in doing it. And I take photos of so much in my life. Sometimes it’s for adding to a post on here and sometimes it’s just for me. I like having something to refer to when I want to remember something. If I don’t have the photo, it’s easy for me to forget the details.
But there are more and more articles coming out lately about how we are living our lives through our phones or cameras. We aren’t experiencing what’s in front of us because we want to have the perfect Instagram photo to share later. I know I’ve done this with a few things in the past and I’m embarrassed how my memories are about me watching through my phone while getting a photo and not just experience what happened. While I love the photos to refer to later, they aren’t the most important thing for me.
I haven’t necessarily been making an effort to take fewer photos or to not experience things through my phone, but this week I had 2 things that I usually would document with lots of photos that I actually have no photos for at all.
First, I had my hair done this week. Getting my hair done isn’t a huge experience, but it had been too long since the last time. If I had the money, I would get my hair done every 6-8 weeks. Because of my financial situation now, I have to keep stretching it out longer and longer. This time wasn’t as bad as it was just under 4 months since the last time I had my hair done, but it was definitely needed. My hair was looking scraggily and my color was looking faded and my grays were taking over. I usually love taking a before and after photo to see how much of a difference a fresh haircut and color could make.
I didn’t think at all about doing a before photo. I actually didn’t realize I didn’t take one until the day after my hair was done when I was thinking about if I took an after photo. That’s when I thought about how I didn’t have a before photo so there’s no need for an after one to show off the difference. I like sharing the before and after photos and I know my friend who does my hair likes to share them to promote her business, but I just didn’t think about doing it this time. I’m sure I’ll do it next time, but it was nice to see that I didn’t even consider doing one this time.
I also went to a NextGen Performers mixer earlier this week. The mixers are so much fun because they are just a time to gather and hang out. They always have food for us and people are just talking and not worried about too much. It’s basically like a party with my friends. I have noticed that lately I’m not recognizing as many people at these mixers, but I still have a lot of friends there and I always try to spend time with them catching up.
I don’t always take photos of those events (I take more photos at the informative events since I take photos of the slides to save the information I want to have), but I do get photos with my friends from time to time there. Since sometimes it’s the only time I get to see certain friends for a while, it’s nice to have a photo together. This mixer was just like many of the others that I had attended, except I never thought about taking photos of the event or with my friends. I wasn’t always focused on the mixer, but documenting it wasn’t something that came to me. Even with knowing I’d want to probably blog about it, I didn’t have the thought I should get a photo for the post.
I’m sure there will still be so many times in my life that I live through a phone or a camera, but it is something I will probably be more conscious about. I need to remember that I don’t have to have proof of everything I have done and that sometimes it’s better to not have those photos but to instead have memories of things that might not be able to be captured in a photo or video.
As I’ve mentioned a few times before, the current season at the Pantages has a lot of classic musicals. Most of them I have seen before, but I always love seeing a musical again. But there are a few shows this season that I haven’t seen and sometimes I get a bit nervous about seeing something new if I’m not totally sure I will like it. And the most recent show we saw was “Cats”, and it was one that I was a bit hesitant about.
But before I get to the show, I have to talk about our incredible dinner! We went to Wood & Vine again because it really is our favorite pre-show dinner place. Usually when we go, the manager is there and he likes to make sure we get to try some of his favorite menu items. This time, he was out-of-town so we knew we wouldn’t have his guidance on the food. But the last time we were there, we got to meet the new chef and he and I have become friends on social media. So I reached out to him online to ask if there were any new menu items he thought we should try, and he gave us a few things that he recommended for us and said he would stop by our table at some point to say hello.
The first thing that was recommended was to get the charred romaine salad.
This was the perfect thing to start with and it was nice and light and it didn’t fill us up too much. When we were finishing up the salad, the chef came over to chat with us before the entrees were brought over and it was really nice to get to catch up. He had to rush away when there was something he had to tend to in the kitchen, but it was when our food was served so we turned our focus to eating some delicious things!
We got the shrimp and grits, halibut, and pork shanks. We had the pork shanks before and they were just as good as we remembered them. The shrimp and grits were a bit spicy, but not too spicy for me. And the halibut might be my new favorite! It was so light and flavorful and I loved the spinach cous cous that it was served with.
We weren’t sure if we wanted to order dessert, but because they spoil us so much at Wood & Vine they said they wanted to give us one of the desserts. We have had a few things on the dessert menu in the past, and while they are things we love we decided to go with something new. So we ordered the whiskey cake.
I have never had whiskey cake before and I was worried it would be too filling, but it was another lighter option. We didn’t eat a ton of it because the chef came over again to chat with us a bit more and we had to rush out of there to get across the street to the theater. But the bites I had were so good!
As always, we had the best dinner at Wood & Vine and we really appreciate how much they spoil us there! And it was so much fun having time to chat with the chef before the show because he had already seen it and he was sharing his review with us.
I know that “Cats” is a classic and it seems like everyone has seen it. But I had never seen it before. I was familiar with the song “Memory” and I knew the show was actually about cats (and it wasn’t something deeper than that). And I found out during dinner that the show was not that plot heavy so I was prepared for that. But none of us in the group had seen the show before and we were all a bit hesitant about it.
I will never say that I hate a show, but this show was not one of my favorites. It had nothing to do with the performers. They were amazing and the dancing was incredible. If it was a dance show, I might have liked it a bit more. But I spent so much of the first act trying to understand what was happening. I didn’t know until intermission that all the songs except for “Memory” are the text from poems by T.S. Eliot. Once I found that out things were making a bit more sense for me, but it was still a weird show. I like more plot driven shows and I think even though I knew there wasn’t a heavy plot I kept looking for a deeper meaning or to understand something that wasn’t there.
I was glad that my friends had the same feelings as I did about the show because I really spent a lot of time during the first act wondering if I was just completely missing the point. I think we all were trying to look too much into things and we should have just been sitting back and relaxing. And we were all able to laugh at ourselves a bit after the show for how hard we were trying to figure things out when there was nothing to figure out.
But besides over thinking the show and being a bit confused, it was still a fun night out. And I am glad I can check off another classic musical off of the lists of shows I’ve never seen! And of course, I love any night I get to spend with my friends and have an amazing dinner!
Posted onMarch 19, 2019|Comments Off on A Drunk Driver On My Street (or Meeting Some Neighbors After 9 Years)
I’ve lived in my house for just over 9 years now. I love where I live and my neighborhood. I know the other people who live on the same property as me because we look out for each other. If we see someone walking up the driveway that we don’t recognize, we are on high alert. I love our little community and how much we care for each other.
But I don’t really know other neighbors on my block. I knew one neighbor who lived a few buildings over because I babysat for them, but I have no clue if they still live there and that’s only 1 person out of so many on the block. I’m sure this is how it is for a lot of people, and it never felt that odd for me. But that changed this past Saturday night.
I was home about to get ready for bed when I heard a very loud rumbling noise. At first I thought it might be an earthquake because sometimes you hear them before you feel them. But this noise wasn’t quite that. And right after the rumbling noise started I heard screeching, crunching, and finally some car alarms going off. There was no question that there was a car accident on my street and I was terrified what might have happened. People tend to drive well over the speed limit and I know that it’s not as safe as it should be. Since I hadn’t gotten ready for bed just yet, I was able to quickly put on some shoes and grab my phone and keys to go outside.
When I walked down my driveway, I saw a car that had all the airbags deployed in the middle of my street diagonally. The front of the car was crumpled and I couldn’t tell if the driver was ok. Dozens of my neighbors in other buildings were on the street too since it woke up most people who were already asleep. Other neighbors called 911 and I decided to focus on the driver to see if they were ok or needed help.
Before I was able to get to the car the driver was able to get out. He was stumbling around and at first I thought maybe it was due to the accident. Quickly my neighbors and I realized that he was drunk. I hate drunk drivers and I find it an incredibly selfish and irresponsible thing to do, but I had to put those feelings aside and try to get the driver to get somewhere safe and to turn his car off. The car was leaking a lot of various fluids and we didn’t want the car to keep running in case it ignited things.
The driver was arguing with us a bit when we asked him to please sit down or turn his car off. He was very confused what happened and I was starting to wonder if he had no idea he was in an accident. I noticed at that point that there were 5 or 6 cars with major damage on the street that he hit. Again, my anger had to be pushed down because I knew that safety was the priority. The driver didn’t want to turn off the car, but when he got out of the car to argue that he needed to see the damage I took a chance and got into his car, turned it off, and grabbed the keys. I then was worried that he might get upset when he realized I had his keys, so a male neighbor took them because he was more conformable with a standing up to him.
We finally got the driver to sit down on a curb so he didn’t fall too far if he was going to pass out and then I think all of us on the street started to actually see the damage and realize what happened. I started talking to some of the neighbors and we were able to figure out that everyone who had their car damaged was out there and they knew about it. At that point, there wasn’t much to do besides wait for the police to arrive. So we continued to talk among ourselves while making sure the driver didn’t move.
The fire department arrived first and once they got there they started to check out the driver. All of us were talking about what was happening or what to do. I started to talk mainly with one neighbor who lives in the building across the street from me who had the car with the most damage. As horrible as the accident was, it was kind of like a bonding opportunity for all of us on the block. Most of us didn’t know each other and we quickly learned quite a bit about who we lived near.
When the police arrived, I thought maybe the night would be over soon. They had arrested the driver and it was already close to 3am. I was exhausted, but I wanted to make sure things were ok with my neighbors before I went to bed. And I guess it ended up being a good thing that I stayed out there because while the police were getting statements from the people who had damage to their cars, they started to ask who took the car keys from the driver. I was worried that I was in trouble or something, but fortunately that wasn’t the case. First, they wanted to thank me for doing that so that he had no way to potentially cause more damage (although his car was totaled and couldn’t move). They also wanted to interview me for a witness statement about what I saw and did. While I didn’t see the accident happen, I was able to explain what I heard and what I saw when I was outside.
By the time I was done giving my statement, most of the neighbors had returned to their homes. It was so late (or early in the morning if you want to think of it that way) and people wanted to go to bed. And I could have gone to bed then too, but the neighbor I had been talking to the most was waiting on a tow truck. He wasn’t able to get his car towed anywhere because it was the middle of the night, but because of the impact of the accident his car had been pushed into someone else’s driveway and it had to be moved. We couldn’t push the car back because of the damage and a tow truck was the only option.
So I hung out with my neighbor and we had a really nice talk. We didn’t talk too much about the accident because we wanted to talk about more entertaining topics. He was telling me about his house and the remodel that he is doing. He talked about his kids. And I talked about acting and random things that happen in life. Finally a tow truck came and by the time his car was in a legal parking spot again it was about 5am. My neighbor and I both headed back to our homes then but I did make sure he had my contact information in case he needed it for his car insurance and because we really hit it off as friends over the course of the night.
This accident was a horrible thing, but it could have been so much worse. Nobody was hurt. I don’t think the driver was even hurt at all. Yes, multiple cars were totaled and that’s upsetting, but that’s just property damage and cars can be replaced. And while I hate that it took an accident like this to bring my neighbors and I together, I’m glad that it did happen and we got to learn about who we live around. Almost everyone who was out there that night was trying to help and make sure everyone involved was ok before they left. And while there were a few people out there who decided to yell at the driver and call him names, the rest of us were able to get them to stop. I understand the frustration, but it was not necessary.
I’ve written about not drinking and driving on here before and this is another reminder of it. I don’t know why this driver decided to do it, but it was the wrong decision. There are so many other options to get home if you are not safe to drive. Even if you are worried your car might get towed, paying to get your car out of an impound lot is cheaper than getting out of jail and dealing with the aftermath of a drunk driving accident.
Posted onMarch 18, 2019|Comments Off on Another Week Of Sick Workouts (or At Least I Did Something)
This past week of workouts was such a tough one for me. I knew I was getting over this cold, but I really thought I was doing better than I really was each day. You usually feel better in the morning than the evening when you are sick, but this took a much harder hit on me than I honesty thought it would. It really became a week of just doing anything and not thinking too much about it. I wasn’t always able to actually do the workout we were supposed to do, but I did something.
Monday’s workout was a strength day but it wasn’t really a strength day for what I was doing. For cardio on the bike, I just set it to my base pace resistance level and kept it at that for the entire time. I wasn’t focused on increasing the resistance levels or when we were supposed to be in a push or all out pace. I just kept pedaling and doing my best. I know that research says if you are sick from the neck up (which I was) that light exercise is good for you. I figured that’s exactly what I was doing.
On the rower, we were supposed to do increasing row distances with jumping jacks between each row. There was no way for me to do jumping jacks, so I did a similar thing with the rower that I did with the bike. I just tried to keep rowing the entire time. I had to take breaks every minute or so because I wasn’t fully able to breathe through my nose, but again I just figured doing something was better than nothing. It wasn’t a hard workout and I wasn’t sweating much, but it was better than just being in bed missing out on doing what I could.
For the floor, I was much closer to what we were supposed to do. The first block had lateral lunges to single arm thrusts and then ab work. I had to split the lunges and single arm thrusts into separate moves, but that’s pretty normal for me. For the ab work, it was tough at times to be on my back, so I did the work on the bench instead of the floor so it was easier for me to sit up when I needed to. The next block had the same exercises but we also added sumo squats which I was able to do without modifications. And the last block was the lunges, squats, and chest presses. I wasn’t using my normal heavy weights, but they weren’t that much lighter either.
While I was feeling better than I had the past few days before this workout, clearly I was still sick because when I got home and showered, I fell asleep for almost 8 hours!
Wednesday’s workout was the Infinity workout and I was a little disappointed that I would have to do some more big modifications for this one. We were supposed to track distances for the cardio and rowing, but because I had to change so much up I didn’t track anything. It didn’t seem fair to track distances if I wasn’t doing the proper workout.
For cardio, the bike work was the same for me as it was on Monday. Even though we had different push paces throughout the time we were doing cardio, I didn’t worry about them. I just set the bike to my base pace resistance level and went the entire time at that. I took breaks when I needed to and it wasn’t as often as Monday, but it still happened a lot. I did what I could and tried to just remember that I was only there to do a light workout as I was still sick.
On the rower, we were supposed to do rounds of 100 meter rows with jumping jacks with the medicine ball in-between each row. I did the first 100 meters and tried to do squat presses with the medicine ball after, but getting up from the rower and squatting was too hard for me. I wasn’t lightheaded, but I wasn’t feeling too stable. So I just did the same thing from Monday again and tried to row the entire time. I still was taking lots of breaks but I tried to go a little further each time before taking a break. It still averaged every 100-200 meters, but it gave me something to work on and strive toward.
The floor work was one long block. The idea of it is to get us ready for the Dri-Tri (which I’m not sure I’ll be doing yet). We had bench hop overs, bench tap squats, lunges, plank jacks, push-ups, and burpees. I didn’t do the burpees at all and I modified so many of the other exercises, but I tried to do them as close to how I do them for the Dri-Tri normally. I just added in the breaks that I needed to recover. But I did notice that I was doing better on Wednesday than I had on Monday (plus, I didn’t pass out and need sleep after this workout).
I finally was on the tail end of this cold (which may also be bronchitis) by Friday so I could do a bit more of a normal workout for me. It was another strength based class and I didn’t do exactly that, but I did more than what I had been able to do the past few workouts.
For cardio, the first block I was able to do normally as there was no hill/incline work. I did the base, push, and all out paces at my new resistance levels on the bike. It was harder than I thought it would be, but I think that was because I had been doing so little the past few workouts. The second and third blocks were hill work and I just kept working with my normal base, push, and all out resistance levels. I knew I couldn’t do more and I didn’t want to push myself too hard since I was still struggling with my cough and exercise was making it a bit harder to breathe.
On the rower, we started with a 90 second row and then medicine ball squat presses. Each time on the rower we did 50 meters less than the row before and had the squats between each one. I was doing the squats for the first few rows that I did, but toward the end I was struggling a lot so I just worked on the rowing. I was hoping I wouldn’t have had to modify the rowing work, but I also am very cautious of my limits right now and knew I was getting close to working too hard.
And on the floor we had 2 blocks. The first one was bicep curls, upright rows, and low rows using weights. I did go a bit heavy with the weights and that helped me feel better about my workout. We also had sit-ups which were much harder than I thought they would be and made me cough quite a bit. The second block was a short block with side plank hip dips, plank punches, and then holding a plank. I had to take some breaks while holding the plank, but it was just because it was making my nose run.
Saturday’s workout was the closest to normal for me. While I was still coughing a bit and had some congestion issues, they were so much less than what they had been. Comparing how I felt on Monday to Saturday was such a huge improvement! This workout was an endurance day and I was pretty much back to what I know I could do.
On cardio, we had 2 blocks and they were distance challenges. The first block was a 3 minute push pace, 90 second base pace, and a 90 second distance challenge. And the second block was 2 rounds of a 90 second push pace and 45 second base pace followed by another 90 second distance challenge. I was using my normal push and base pace resistance levels and I used the level between my push and all out pace for the distance challenges at the end. I did manage to do better the second time than I did the first and the overall distance I got on the bike was one of the best ones I’ve ever had!
On the rower, we had one long block. It started with a 2 minute row and then squats. Then we had half the distance of the 2 minute row and pulsing half squats. The pattern continued but the timed row was 90 seconds the next time and 1 minute the last. I was doing close to normal row distances for the timed work and I did all the squats every round. It was so nice to not need to do any modifications for once this past week!
And on the floor we had all mini-band work. The first block had walking forward squats, lateral squat steps, and tricep work using a weight. And the second block had toe reaches, squats to lateral leg raises, and deadlifts. I didn’t go as heavy with the triceps and deadlifts as I know I can go, but they were still heavy weights. I just was getting tired by the end of the class and I had done so much more work than I thought I’d be able to do.
For this week, I’m hoping I continue to keep getting better. There’s a chance I will still be dealing with some symptoms for another week or two which is a bit annoying. But as long as I feel like I’m making some improvements in my workouts or feel like I’m getting close to my normal self I think it will make me feel ok. I’m seriously so ready to have a week that I feel great and I can push myself. I haven’t used the treadmill in a long time and it might be nice to try one treadmill day soon. But I also know that I am not slacking off while on the bike when I can do my normal work. I just have to keep listening to my body and making sure I do what I know is best for me.
Time Flies (or I Didn’t Realize I Would Be Here So Soon)
