Monthly Archives: January 2019

Seeing Actors Supporting Actors (or An Awesome Union Working Project)

Posted on January 17, 2019 | 1 comment

For almost the entire time I’ve been a part of Union Working, our big goal was to work on the next commercial contract negotiation. It’s a very important issue for actors right now as we want to see our commercials remain union. Working under a union contract guarantees so many things for actors and we want those guarantees and protections. And while there is still work do to before the negotiations start soon, we are seeing the results of some of that work now.

While most of us in Union Working are middle class actors (or just starting out), we have been so lucky to have some A-list celebrities who are just as concerned as we are about things happening in our industry. Many of them wanted to make sure they could voice their concern for the issue as well as their support for their fellow union members. Some of the leaders of Union Working have been filming these actors so they could help the cause and the first video was just posted on our YouTube channel.

I know that some people who aren’t in the entertainment industry aren’t as familiar with the issues of the working actor, but I can give a good example of why working union is important.

I did a non-union commercial in 2007 for a hair care product. I don’t exactly remember how much I made, but it was about $1,000 which seemed amazing for a day of work. I was so excited about it and didn’t think too much about it being non-union. When you do a commercial, you can’t do another commercial that conflicts with it (so you can’t have a Coke and Pepsi commercial running at the same time). When you work union, there is a length of time they are allowed to run your commercial and if they want to extend it they have to pay you to do so. That’s not the case for non-union work. My $1,000 seemed amazing when I made it in 2007. It’s not as amazing when that commercial is still airing today and I haven’t made another penny from it. If this was a union project and they wanted to air it for over 10 years, I would be getting paid continuously for it in holding fees and residuals. I know that many non-union commercials are not ones that can run in perpetuity like mine is, but it’s still a possibility.

I have shared this story about my non-union commercial many times with actor friends. I feel like it’s important for actors to know what risks they are taking if they want to work non-union. I wish someone had explained it to me because I would have been smarter about things. I probably would have still done the project, but I might have asked about adding a line in my contract to change it from being able to run forever to having an end date. There’s no guarantee I could have gotten that change made, but I would have liked to have been educated about what I was getting myself into.

This is not to say that non-union work is bad. Everyone starts out somewhere and the experiences I’ve had when I was a non-union actor have been invaluable. But I also understand the benefit of working union and I am proud of what our union has gotten us as actors. I also have become much more aware of what all unions have done for their members. So I want to support union work as much as I can. And when commercials are only going non-union sometimes to save the corporations making them a little bit of money, that doesn’t seem right. I understand that companies have to save money on some things, but I don’t think it should be at the expense of working class people trying to make a living. I think most people agree that when companies don’t give their employees a raise but will give their executives raises that it’s not right. Or it’s not right for companies to encourage their full time employees to go on food stamps or other subsidies to help them afford the cost of living. Employees deserve a fair wage and that is exactly what actors are asking for.

I know some people probably roll their eyes at us and think that we don’t have a right to complain, but there are working class actors just like there are working class employees in other industries. When you don’t know when you are going to work again, it’s important to make sure you are making what you deserve. Working class actors aren’t making millions of dollars a year. Some of us make $5,000 a year from actors. Many of us make less than that. And we do supplement our acting income from our day jobs, but that doesn’t mean that we don’t deserve what we make when we do get to act.

I am so proud of the video that Union Working made and the actors that have been participating in the project. I love seeing actors helping each other out at all levels of success and I am so grateful that we have some incredible talent on our side looking out for us.

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Default ThumbnailMore Union Working (or Influencers And Contracts) Default ThumbnailAnother Night Of Union Working (or Back To Back Union Events) Default ThumbnailA Low Key Union Working Meeting (or Getting To Fully Focus On What’s Being Said) Default ThumbnailUnion Working (or Connecting With My Fellow Actors) Default ThumbnailUnion Working Support (or Celebrities And Middle Class Actors Unite) Default ThumbnailAnother Union Working Meeting (or Rolling With The Technical Difficulties)

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Making Small Investments In My Health (or Trying To Not Be Anxious Or Paranoid)

Posted on January 16, 2019 | Comments Off on Making Small Investments In My Health (or Trying To Not Be Anxious Or Paranoid)

I’m seriously a broken record about some things in my life. I guess I should be happy to have a routine and know what will happen, but I’m so tired of having a lot of anxiety prior to going to a dental appointment. I hate that even a cleaning will cause me to get all worked up and I can’t relax until the appointment is done. Even when I am having the cleaning done, I’m still paranoid that things are going to turn for the worst. I’m always asking the dental hygienist if everything looks ok or if she sees anything that looks suspicious. I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop and for her to see something horrible with my teeth.

I know that I take care of my teeth. I had a brief period of time right after college when I wasn’t as good about things like flossing, but now that I’ve seen what happens when I slack off just a little I know I can’t miss any step of my dental care any day. And every time I go to the dentist, I double check to make sure that I’m using all the best things for me. I’ve switched toothbrushes and toothpaste based on what I’ve been told and I trust that those are really the best things for me to use with my situation. It’s not always the cheapest, but it’s much cheaper buying expensive toothpaste than it is to get major dental work.

One of the parts of keeping my teeth in the best condition they can be in that I’m not the best at is flossing. While I floss every day, I know I don’t floss as hard as I should. When flossing hurts or is uncomfortable, you go easy on yourself. And unfortunately if you go easy on flossing it’s not effective. I’ve learned this the hard way and I’ve tried to correct myself. But I knew that I had to look into some better options for me to make sure that I don’t have more issues down the road.

For some reason, getting a water flosser seemed like a really weird idea to me. I always imagined they were giant machines and super expensive. And when I have a bathroom that has almost no counter space, it seemed like something that wasn’t possible for me to get. But I looked more into the options online and found they weren’t as crazy as I had in my head. Most of them are pretty compact, but even the compact ones are larger than the limited counter space that I have. But I did find some of the travel versions are small enough for the space I have. The only downside in most of the reviews was about the water tank only hold half the water you need to use it each time. To refill water once seemed like a really small issue so I looked into the cheapest option for buying it.

I really lucked out with timing because I got my CVS reward and a 30% CVS coupon that week. So I was able to get a flosser that normally is close to $70 for about $40. It’s still an investment and I know that I shouldn’t be spending money, but I had to think about it being an investment to save me money and pain in the long run. I only got it about 2 weeks prior to my dentist visit, so I had no idea if it would make a difference. But I knew that if my teeth were much worse than normal, that it wasn’t worth the convenience.

Fortunately, at my appointment my teeth didn’t seem that different from how they were in my past appointments, so that was a good sign. I also got some advice on how to use the new flosser better so that hopefully I can have some improvement by my next appointment. I also learned that for the best results, I still need to use regular floss too (so I should floss, use the water flosser, brush, and then use mouthwash). I didn’t love to hear that news since I was happy not using regular floss, but again I need to do what is best for my teeth. I don’t think I will ever get over my fear that my teeth will all fall out or I will be told that something horrible is happening with my teeth. But I want to feel as secure as possible about doing everything I should do to prevent that.

My next dentist appointment is the big one with the x-rays in 4 months. I’m trying to not feel nervous just yet, but I’m already feeling the anxiety. I think it might be because I just had an appointment and my anxiety hasn’t faded from it just yet. Hopefully that will go away soon and in my dream life I won’t have any anxiety at all before my appointment. But realistically, I’m just hoping I’m only anxious the week of and I can laugh about it after because everything is fine.

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Default ThumbnailBeing More Stressed Than Necessary (or Not The Best Dentist Visit) Default ThumbnailA Boring Visit At The Dentist (or Getting Ready For A Future Bad Appointment) Default ThumbnailAnother Dentist Visit (or Panicking About Panicking) Default ThumbnailAnother Year Another Dentist Panic (or One Medications Overriding Another) Default ThumbnailLess Panic At The Dentist (or Am I Finally Over This?) Default ThumbnailSurviving At The Dentist (or When Will I Grow Out Of My Fear)

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An Evening Of Cheesecake (or Just A Calm Dinner With My Birthday Twin)

Posted on January 15, 2019 | Comments Off on An Evening Of Cheesecake (or Just A Calm Dinner With My Birthday Twin)

With my birthday twin Joanna, we have 2 traditions. The first is to do our free (or almost free) birthday meal. We’ve been going that for pretty much as long as we’ve been friends. The other tradition is to get cheesecake at Cheesecake Factory. We try to do this around the end of December or beginning of January since that is almost around our half birthdays. Sometimes that cheesecake dinner is a bit later, but we try our best to do it around the new year.

We usually go to the Cheesecake Factory at the Grove which can be crazy around the holidays. We tolerate the crowds since we made the choice to go there, but it’s always nice when it’s not as bad as we expect. And since we delayed our cheesecake dinner until this past week, we were hopeful that the crowds would be much less than they are when the Grove is still decorated for the holidays.

We planned on an early dinner to avoid the dinner rush and I got to the Grove first so I went to put our names on the list. We are used to having to wait 30 minutes or an hour, so whoever gets their first puts their name down and we know that we will have time to kill. Usually, we use that time for a lot of our catch up since we are just sitting there. I got there first this time and I was shocked when the host told me it was only a 5 minute wait! I texted Joanna and she said she was parking, but I still managed to be seated before she got there!

Joanna arrived only a few minutes after I sat at our table, and we decided to focus on our food first and then our catch up. I went with my usual salad and Joanna got a salad as well. We figure that we should save room for the cheesecake we knew we’d be getting. Then it was time for our catchup.

I had seen Joanna somewhat recently when we were doing our self-tape auditions, so it wasn’t as big of a catchup as they have been in the past. But of course we both still had a lot to talk about. I was updating her on my job situation and the random stories I have from online dating. She’s been taking a break from online dating and I totally get it. It can be really depressing and demoralizing when you meet so many bad guys or keep getting ghosted or stood up. I think the thing that is saving my sanity is thinking of all the bad dates as good stories for my book. My stories are usually pretty entertaining and I was messaging with someone while I was at dinner, so she was getting a play by play of what was going on.

Joanna updated me on a really amazing acting class that she is currently in plus her trips to see her family. Even though she and I are very similar people, we have had very different journeys and our lives are in different places right now so it’s always fun to see the randomness that she has been involved in. I know my life is random and crazy, and so is Joanna’s. But I think that is part of what makes life fun and exciting at times. I wish that some of the randomness regarding work would calm down for me, but I’m working on it.

And even though getting to hang out with an awesome friend is one of the main reasons we do this dinner every year, the highlight for us is the cheesecake! And ever since we learned they can cut each piece of cheesecake in half for us, we’ve loved it even more! We always get 2 slices cut in half (so we each get half of each slice) and it’s become a tradition to get the red velvet cheesecake as one of them. For the other slice, we change things up a bit. I recently had seen a silly quiz online that said it would tell you what flavor of cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory you were. I sent it to Joanna and told her it told me I was Dulce de Leche cheesecake. We decided that had to be the other piece that we got.

Even though we ate light with our salads, we were so full after cheesecake. But it was worth it! We walked around and looked at some shops around the Grove after dinner, but it was more just to window shop than to actually look for things we want to buy. I think we both needed some time walking around before getting back into our cars with how full we were.

But after a little window shopping, it was time to head to the parking garage. I know that we both had such a fun time for dinner and I love how chill and relaxed this dinner is. Traditions don’t have to be stressful or over the top. Sometimes just a nice dinner is exactly what you want to help keep your friendship strong.

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Default ThumbnailTime For Traditional Cheesecake (or It Can Still Count As Celebrating The New Year) Default ThumbnailVery Belated New Years Cheesecake (or A Birthday Twin Dinner) Default ThumbnailCheesecake Dinner (or A Half Birthday Outing) Default ThumbnailAlmost Free Birthday Dinner (or Spending My Birthday With My Birthday Twin) Default ThumbnailCheesecake With My Birthday Twin (or Continuing A New Tradition) Default ThumbnailBirthday Twin Dinner (or Zero Dollar Bill)

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A Week Of Bike Work (or Working Through Nausea and Pain)

Posted on January 14, 2019 | Comments Off on A Week Of Bike Work (or Working Through Nausea and Pain)

I knew going into this past week of workouts that it wasn’t going to be a great week. I’m trying to be less pessimistic about the issues I have, but it’s not easy all the time to find a positive side to them. But I do try to remind myself that I at least knew this was coming so I could be prepared. I don’t necessarily know which will be ok days and which will be really bad days, but I’m always prepared. And fortunately this past week did have some bright spots for me even with all the issues I had to deal with.

Monday’s workout was an endurance day and we had the 1 mile benchmark run. I knew that there was no way that I could use the treadmill, so I was going to do my first benchmark bike attempt and I was excited to see what would happen. Because I track my distance on the bike each workout, I have an idea about how long a distance would take me, but I had no idea what my PR would be since I never did that benchmark on the bike before.

When you use the bike, it’s 4 times as long as the treadmill. So the treadmill had a 1 mile run and I had a bike ride of 4 trips (there is a debate if 1 trip is really 1 mile or not). On average, that would take me about 10 minutes to do, but I was hoping to do it in under 9:30. I knew that I had my nausea working against me, but I really wanted to try to push through the nausea and keep going instead of taking a break to let it pass. In the end, I did my benchmark in 8:58 which was significantly faster than I thought I could do! And I did manage to not take any breaks during that time, but I paid for doing that in the rest of my workout. I was dealing with so much nausea and each time I had a wave of nausea I had a very intense cramp. It wasn’t fun. The rest of cardio was a run/row, but I didn’t get that far into it. My benchmark took longer than most people and I was slow on the rower. But I got through 3 rows and was working on the next bike distance when cardio was done.

On the floor, we had 2 blocks. The first block had hip hinge low rows with weights, low rows on the straps, plank rows with weights, and straight leg hip raises. I couldn’t do the plank work so I did single arm hip hinge low rows with a weight. And I also couldn’t do the straight leg hip raises so I did regular crunches. The second block was shorter with sumo squats to high rows and leg lifts. Fortunately I was able to do both of those exercises so that was nice to not need modifications for at least a little bit of the workout.

Wednesday’s workout was an interesting one. With cardio we had treadmill/bike work alternating with exercises and for the floor we had exercises alternating with rowing. Every single block was 2 minutes long and we were constantly moving.

I started on the bike where all the 2 minute treadmill/bike blocks were a push pace for 2 minutes. I was able to use my push pace resistance level even though I couldn’t go as fast as I usually can. The 2 minute blocks between the biking was 3 rounds of 30 seconds on and 15 seconds rest of speed skater lunges, squats, lateral lunges, and sit-ups. I was able to do all those exercises with limited modifications and when I was starting to get nauseous that seemed to be when we had our 15 second break.

On the floor, we had the same pattern of 3 rounds of 30 seconds on and 15 seconds of rest with the exercises. We had bench sit-ups to stands, plank jacks, and then one round that had all the ab exercises in it. And when we were on the rower we had a 2 minute push row. Just like with the bike, I was able to get through it but I wasn’t going as hard or as fast as I normally can. I think I really lucked out with this workout having as much rest as we did because I wasn’t doing anything for that long at one time. I was prepared for so much worse with my nausea and it was nice to be pleasantly surprised.

Friday was the hardest day for me. I wasn’t really feeling nauseous anymore, but I was having horrible cramps with intense pain. I don’t know why my painkillers weren’t helping me, but it was some of the most intense cramping I’ve had that I can recall. All I could do when a cramp hit me was to stop and breathe through it. It’s on days like this one that I’m extra grateful for all my amazing coaches because they know what I’m dealing with and they don’t stress out over seeing me take breaks. They will check in on me, but I’m not always feeling like I have to explain or defend myself.

This workout was a 3 group endurance workout and my only focus was to get through it the best that I could. For cardio, we had 2 blocks that were the same. The idea was to increase our base pace so we could get more distance in the second block, but I didn’t worry about that. I didn’t reset the bike so I only know the distance I did over the entire cardio time. They were pretty classic endurance blocks with a long push pace, a base pace, a shorter push pace, a base pace, and an all out. I was happy with the easy to follow plan so I could just focus on trying to do what I was able to do and not having to worry about what part of the block we were in.

For the rower, we started with a 600 meter row and then we had squat front raises using a medicine ball. The idea was to decrease the row 100 meters each round. I only made it through 3 rounds before the rowing was done, but just like my feeling with cardio I knew I did the best I could with having to take as many breaks as I had to.

And on the floor, I needed a lot of modifications due to the exercises we had. We first had bench toe taps and plank work. I can’t do bench work like that due to my hips, so I did lunges instead. And I did my plank work using the bench so I wasn’t totally facing the ground. Then we had squats and crunches, which I could do just fine. And we ended with bench crossovers and mountain climbers, which I couldn’t do. I did skater lunges and used the bench for my mountain climbers so I was able to do something.

I was finally feeling more like myself by Saturday’s workout. I still wasn’t totally back to normal, but it was the best of the days that week. We had an endurance, strength, and power day and it was a good but hard workout!

For cardio, we started with endurance work with push paces to base paces that kept getting longer. Then we started doing hill work and we finished with a bunch of all out paces that were both on flat incline and hills. I was going almost my normal speed on the bike and I was using all of my resistance levels. I even was able to increase my resistance levels to do the hill work although I wasn’t doing the highest levels I know I could do. I had to take very few breaks during the cardio work and most of those breaks were me needing to drink water (I can’t drink water and pedal at the same time yet).

On the floor, we had 2 blocks. The first block had full thrusters with weights, single arm snatches with weights, and plank jacks. I know I went too light with my weights, but I was feeling a bit off doing them. It was almost like a light nausea feeling mixed with seasickness. So I went a little easy on myself. And I was able to do the plank jacks normally so I knew that was a sign I was doing much better! The second block was rowing and work using the Bosu. We started with a 400 meter row and then did kneeling shoulder work and hip bridges with the Bosu. Then a 200 meter row and back extensions and sit-ups on the Bosu. We were supposed to do a 100 meter row after that, but I didn’t make it to that point in the workout.

Considering I had a goal to be more enthusiastic about being on the bike, I think I did really well this week. I did have some negative feelings about how I was feeling, but that was more about how I felt and not thoughts about being on the bike. I even had moments that I was excited to be using the bike like figuring out my benchmark time for it. I’m still trying to figure out how to use the bike more often than the treadmill and the main idea I keep coming back to is to just use only the bike. I know it might not be the best plan for me, but I think it might be what I need to do while I keep figuring out my options. But whether I use the bike all week this week or do the treadmill a bit, I know it will be a good week of hard work!

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Default ThumbnailA Week Of Tough Workouts (or Frustration As Motivation) Default ThumbnailWorking Through A Rough Week (or Just Keep Moving) Default ThumbnailHoliday Workouts (or Making Myself Enjoy The Bike) Default ThumbnailA Week On The Bike (or Ending My Year By Taking It A Bit Easy) Default ThumbnailAnother Weird Workout Week (or Dealing With A Different Type Of Nausea) Default ThumbnailSome Nausea And Benchmarks (or A High And Low Workout Week)

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Another Night At Hipcooks (or I’m On Fire!)

Posted on January 11, 2019 | Comments Off on Another Night At Hipcooks (or I’m On Fire!)

My first experience at Hipcooks was a few months ago. I was very lucky to be invited to check out a class and I had the best time! But that class was a bit weird for me because it was the morning after I had to force a friend to check into a hospital for being suicidal. As much as I wanted to focus on the class, I know I was distracted and not totally there. I still had an amazing time, but I couldn’t wait to take another class so I could feel completely involved in the experience.

The classes at Hipcooks are amazing and I’d take a class every week or so if I could (I am looking at their volunteer assistant opportunities so I can be in classes for free), but anything that isn’t essential isn’t in my budget right now. So I was so grateful when my friend Dani invited me to check out a class that she was teaching! She was going to be teaching another cocktails class so it would be similar to the one I went to before. But it was all new recipes and drinks so it was totally different. As soon as she invited me to her class, I said yes because I knew there was no way I was going to miss it!

The first class I went to was in West LA very close to where I live. This time, I went to their class in the art district near downtown LA. I gave myself plenty of time to drive there because of traffic, and I got there nice and early. They have a ton of free parking at that location which is amazing, so once I parked I headed over to the class to relax before everything started.

The space is very similar to the one I went to before. They have the same set-up for the cooking with the semi-circle table so everyone in class is working together.

And there was the big table for us to sit at to learn the different cocktails we were going to make and to enjoy the food we prepared.

The cocktail class I took last time was more of a summer themed class with lighter drinks and food. This time, the class was a winter themed cocktail class and we had food and drinks that had different holiday spices.

When I was a bit distracted in class last time, I was able to put my focus on taking photos of everything that we were doing. I loved being able to share photos of things we made and I was hoping to do the same this time. But I guess the more involved in the class I am, the less likely I am to take any photos! I took a few photos of things while we were making them, but they don’t show the finished product.

So you’ll just have to read the about what we made. For food we made glazed walnuts, gorgonzola stuffed apples, pears with Manchego wrapped in prosciutto, mushroom and goat cheese empanadas, croustade cups with salmon, seared beef on parmesan crisps, and spiced cookies. And for the drinks, we made a rosemary pomegranate gin fizz, a winter dark and stormy, mulled wine, a new fashioned, and a hot apple pie. All of the food and all of the drinks were so good! And even though I don’t really drink, I did try all of the drinks we made and I really liked the gin fizz! I don’t normally like gin, but this was really good and I could see making it for a party!

While I didn’t get that many photos of the food, I did get one amazing photo. The benefit of being more attentive and involved in the class is that I got to do some really fun things. For the glazed walnuts, we added alcohol and got to flambĂ© the pan. There were 3 pans going and Dani demonstrated with the first one. The second one was done by someone else in class and the didn’t quite get it to burn in a really spectacular way.

Then it was my turn. I know I’m not a great cook and doing anything with fire can be scary, but I wanted to see if I could do it. Thankfully, I asked one of the other instructors to take photos of me while I did this because I think I got one of the greatest photos of me ever!

I thought I wouldn’t be as terrified as I was, but it was scary when it started going. After the initial shock and I started to move the pan around, it got easier and I was so proud of myself for doing it. It’s not something I would need to do in normal cooking (or would probably do in my own tiny kitchen), but it’s nice to know I have this skill if I ever get the chance to do it.

I also was involved in a lot of the other dishes including helping to shape the parmesan crisps into tacos and bowls after coming out of the oven. Everyone in class was working together so nicely and we had a really fun and silly mood in the room. The last class I was at probably was like that as well, but I just wasn’t totally there. This time I got to enjoy how nice it is to be in a cooking class where everyone is just having the best time.

I was a bit sad when class was done because I just had the greatest time! Dani was an awesome teacher and I’m so proud of her. She is new to teaching and I think she did so great and I know that she’s just going to get better as she continues to teach. And I know that I want to take more of her classes because it’s always fun to be in a class with friends, even if they are your teacher.

I hope that I get another chance to take a class at Hipcooks soon. Both of the times I’ve gone I have had an incredible time and have left feeling empowered. Cooking is something that still makes me a bit nervous to mess up, but Hipcooks class emphasizes having fun and trying new things. I know I need to do that more often not just in cooking but in my life.

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Wondering How To Complete Some Goals (or I Have An Idea But Not A Plan)

Posted on January 10, 2019 | Comments Off on Wondering How To Complete Some Goals (or I Have An Idea But Not A Plan)

Because there were so many goals in 2018 that I didn’t complete, I am working hard this year to make sure that doesn’t happen again. I always set my goals with the expectation that I will be able to complete or accomplish them. Sometimes they don’t seem that hard for me to do, but I’ve realized that is also my downfall. When I assume that I will be able to complete a goal without too much work, I can slack off on doing that. I’ve seen that happen a lot recently and I don’t want to continue that bad habit.

I think this all started when I started to do more abstract goals and challenges. When I don’t have a way to track and measure, I can tell myself that I am doing the right things even if I’m not. That’s why budgeting and tracking food and weight is important. I don’t want to ignore the signs that things are going the wrong direction. I will admit, I haven’t been great in budgeting and food tracking lately either. Budgeting is a weird one since I know that I am not making enough to support my lifestyle. I don’t need to get a bunch of alerts and red numbers telling me I’m over budgeting for my rent when I can’t reduce it. But as soon as I find a new job, I will be back on it since I know I need to.

One of my goals for this year is to use my free time in a more productive manner.  In a perfect world, a lot of my current free time would be getting used by a new job. Unfortunately the job hunting isn’t going as well as I hoped it would be and I’m still looking for a new one. I guess the job hunting could be considered a productive use of my free time, but because I was getting so burnt out from looking I’ve had to limit my job search time to 4 hours a day. I know that probably seems like a lot, but I need a job now and for some reason I’m struggling to find one.

I’ve also been doing online class stuff during my free time, but that’s not taking up as much time as I have. I’m trying to limit how much time I’m doing mindless things online or watching tv or movies, but sometimes I just don’t know what else to do with that free time. My biggest issue is while I’m working because I have to be on my computer then. I can’t go out and do things and I can’t really be doing things in different parts of my house. Even though my house is tiny, I can’t be in my kitchen cooking if my phone rings or a customer reaches out via online chat. I’m stuck at my desk and looking at a computer.

I have added a few educational apps to my phone like the New York Times crossword and I’ve gotten pretty good at it! But each of these little things I’m adding just doesn’t seem like what I need to have in mind when I’m thinking about spending my free time more productively. I’m honestly opening it up to suggestions because I don’t know where to start or what to consider.

I think realizing that one of my goals this year doesn’t really have a plan yet is a good thing. I’d rather realize it now instead of 6 months later and figure out that I have been wasting the time that I have. And with many things in my life, being hyperaware that there is something I want to fix is always a good thing and is very useful to me in making changes. I’ve been considering trying to track how I spend my free time, and I know there are apps I can use for that on my computer, but I’m not sure if that’s the right move for now. I really just want to figure out a plan for how I can change things and make them better before I try to see what my current screen time usage is like. Hopefully when I have that plan, my screen time during work will be limited to just my work stuff and perhaps whatever productive things I find to do between customers if they are things I do on my computer.

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Default ThumbnailMy 2016 Goals (or I’ve Got Some Big Ideas This Year) Default ThumbnailAn Almost End Of The Year Review (or Looking Back At My Goals) Default ThumbnailMy 2019 Goals (or Another Year Of Planning Some Big Things) Default ThumbnailMy 2013 Goals (or I’m Not Calling Them Resolutions This Time) Default ThumbnailWhat I Plan To Do This Year (or 2015 Goals) Default Thumbnail2014 Goals (or Hoping To Get More Goals Done This Year)

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Just A Little Bit More Reflection (or Evaluating My Happiness Checklist)

Posted on January 9, 2019 | Comments Off on Just A Little Bit More Reflection (or Evaluating My Happiness Checklist)

In my million posts about the new year, I mentioned how I do a lot of reflection this time of year. Even though it’s an arbitrary start date (like people who say they will start something on Monday or when the next month starts), it still feels like a start or a clean break. There’s just something about a new year that makes me want to work on myself and see what I can improve upon.

I feel like I have done a lot of reflection and so many of the things I have done recently have been good things for me. I have very few regrets about what I’ve been doing lately and even the things I regret aren’t as bad as they have been in the past. But there are still things I know I could do better and that’s something that I’ve been thinking about this week.

I’ve been doing my happiness checklist for quite a while now. I find it a very valuable tool for me to use to make sure that I take time for myself each day to do at least one thing that makes me happy. There is never an expectation for me to do everything on the list (and I don’t think I’ve actually ever done that), but it’s good for me to check in with myself. And even on my worst days, it’s nice to remember that I have done some things that make me happy in a day. It doesn’t always make me feel better, but it does take the edge off of a really bad day.

I’ve made a few changes on my checklist since I started it, but I haven’t made a change on it recently. And as I have been filling out my checklists the past few days, I’ve been feeling like they aren’t necessarily the right things to have on there. They are things that make me happy, but either I do them every day and I don’t know if they should be on there or they are a bit too specific and I don’t get to do them as often as I’d like. And then there is one or two things on the list that I know should make me happy but they don’t necessarily do so. And I’ve been having weird guilt feelings about why I don’t feel happy when I know that they should.

So it is definitely time for me to work on redoing my happiness checklist. I need to take time and really think about things that do make me happy. And maybe I need to find new categories to have on there that combine a few things. For example, I had beauty stuff on the list originally but took it off because I didn’t do it often enough nor did I want to do it more often. And now I have watching movies on the list but sometimes I don’t want to watch a movie and I feel like I should at some point in a week to be able to check it off. I don’t know if doing a general category like “self-care” would be right to do on there, but there has to be a better way for me to categorize things.

I think the problem for me in the past is I felt like if I was going to make a change on the list that I have to do it immediately and move on. That’s a bit how it started when my therapist told me to do this. I felt like I needed to get it set up so I could start working on doing a check in every day. I didn’t think about it enough and that’s why I had to make changes early on. I also probably have the issue with feeling like once I set something up that it needs to stay that way and I am not as flexible as I feel like I am. That’s something I know I am working on and this is a great way for me to do just that.

As much as I’d love to have my new checklist set up tonight, I know that doing that is the wrong move. It is causing me a bit of anxiety to not know when it will be ready and I will start using that, but I need to sit in those feelings. I hear all the time that change only happens outside of your comfort zone and I know that keeping my checklist the way it is or setting up a new one immediately is the comfortable way. I need to be in the uncomfortable space now and hopefully that time will allow me to reflect and work on it and I will be better for it in the long run.

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Default ThumbnailAdjusting Monthly Challenges (or Books And Happiness) Default ThumbnailGetting Back On Track (or Happiness and Budgeting) Default ThumbnailAnother Therapist Check In (or Showing Off My Happiness Checklist) Default ThumbnailUpdate On My Checklist (or Working On Being Happy) Default ThumbnailWorking On Self Care (or Going Back To My Checklist) Default ThumbnailRecovering From A Bad Day (or Making Sure I Fill In My Checklist)

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New Year’s Eve In PJs (or I Think This Is Finally My Last NYE Post)

Posted on January 8, 2019 | Comments Off on New Year’s Eve In PJs (or I Think This Is Finally My Last NYE Post)

I’ve been writing about the new year for forever now! I’ve had a lot that I wanted to cover and I didn’t want to cram things into a single post. I like having the time to allow myself to reflect on the past year and be excited about the year to come. But I think I’m finally at my last post about the new year.

For the past few years, I’ve spent New Year’s Eve with my friends at a party. It was driving home from that party 2 years ago that my car died and I ended up getting a new (used) car. I love going to that party for so many reasons. Of course, I love getting to spend time with my friends. Any opportunities I get to hang out with amazing people is something I want to do. I also love the party because it’s very low-key and casual. I don’t have to dress up or be super social. I just get to hang out with my friends and it’s perfect.

This year, that party wasn’t going to happen. My friends do so many parties all the time, so we all understood they couldn’t host one. Plus, they have a puppy and the dog isn’t really used to be crowds yet. So if they had a party they would have had to board their dog at a dog hotel and they wanted to ring in the new year with their puppy. All completely understandable things.

I had been invited to a few other parties, but I wasn’t really sure if I wanted to go out. I had been feeling a bit lazy and I knew any of the other parties I was invited to would be much less casual than what I was hoping to do. I did message a couple of friends to see if anyone wanted to come over and watch movies and order pizza, but I think everyone was feeling the same as I was. Nobody was really the motivated to leave their house and be social. It was kind of funny that we all felt the same, but it also made it easier when we all decided not to really do much.

So I spent my New Year’s Eve alone at my house. I ordered some food and watched movies on tv. I had been dressed in workout clothes earlier that day for my workout, but after I showered and got dressed I spent the rest of the day in my pjs. I did stay up until midnight, but I was in bed ready to go to sleep when the clock stuck midnight. And pretty soon after that I was asleep.

I know that in the past I probably would have been upset about spending the night alone, especially after asking friends if they wanted to come over. But I was actually very happy and excited about how I spent my night. I could have made an effort and gone to a party, but I really didn’t want to and I wasn’t going to force myself to do that. And I didn’t feel bad that my friends didn’t want to come over because I was doing the same thing to them. This wasn’t anything against me or a reason to think my friends are against me. It was just what it was and there are no feelings about it.

I feel like that is a huge sign of growth. I didn’t overthink things or stress out about why it happened. I knew what I wanted to do with my evening and I didn’t let anyone make me feel like I should do any different. And I didn’t make my friends feel like they should do something different from what they wanted to do.  Of course I would have loved to have been with my friends to celebrate 2019, but that’s not what was meant to be.

Of course, just because I enjoyed spending my New Year’s Eve alone doesn’t mean that I won’t be planning a lot of adventures with my friends this year. I hope that the year will be filled with so much fun with as many friends as possible and I can’t wait to see what the year brings!

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Ringing In The New Year With Workouts (or A Rare 5 Workout Week)

Posted on January 7, 2019 | Comments Off on Ringing In The New Year With Workouts (or A Rare 5 Workout Week)

I had a pretty amazing end to my 2018 workouts and start to my 2019 workouts. Because of the days that the holidays fell on, it also had me doing 5 workouts in a week which I rarely do. But I didn’t want to change up my regular schedule nor did I want to miss a New Year’s Eve or New Year’s Day workout.

Monday’s workout was my last workout of 2018 and I think I ended the year with a pretty good class! It was a mix of endurance, strength, and power and it was a 3 group class so we switched sections of the room every 15 minutes. And it had a theme of counting down with squats so it was a very fitting class for New Year’s Eve!

On cardio we had hill work. I was on the bike so it was resistance level work. Each block we had decreasing inclines/resistances levels using base pace and all out pace. There were 3 blocks in the cardio work and after each block we had to do squats. We started at 12 and went down 1 squat each block.

Next I was on the rower which had sprint rows with medicine ball squat rotations and continuing the countdown of squats. We started with 1 minute rows and went down 10 seconds each round. I wasn’t pushing myself the way I know I can on the rower, but I was more focused on my form because I could feel it getting sloppy after doing all the squats.

And finally I was on the floor where we had sumo squats, frogger squats, bicep curls, pull ups on the straps, and double crunches. And of course we continued the countdown of squats that we had done for cardio and the rower. I don’t know if I was just going really slow or if it was just really tough to make it down to 1 squat because I only got down to the round of 4.

This workout was my 206th and final workout of the year and I had to do a little bit of reflection when I was done with class. It might not have been the year where I had the biggest accomplishments, but it was the year that I was most consistent with going 4 days a week. That counts for a lot and I love that I got to end on such a high note after having so many classes where I was feeling down on myself.

I usually don’t workout on Tuesdays, but I felt like I had to this time since it was New Year’s Day and I always work out then. It was a power workout and also a 3 group class so all of the blocks were only 4 minutes long. It was a class that before I would have wished I could be on the treadmill, but I consciously made the choice to think about it as an amazing class to work on my bike speed.

All of the blocks for cardio were the same pattern: push pace, base pace, push pace, base pace, and all out pace. The difference was we increased the time on the first push pace and decreased the time on the all out pace each block.

I was using my new base, push, and all out resistance levels on the bike and I really focused on trying to go as fast as I could for the push and all out paces. It was a bit tough with the resistance levels being the new levels, but I’m working on getting used to them and this class really helped. And my work paid off because the distance I got on the bike was very close to what I can usually do in a 2 group class (when we have more time on cardio).

On the rower, each block was the same format with rounds of a timed row and squats between each round. We started with 30 second rows, the second block was 45 second rows, and the last block was 1 minute rows. I tried to push myself harder than I have in a long time for the first 30 second row and was shocked at how well I did! I haven’t tracked 30 second rows before, but it was over half the distance of my 1 minute row PR so I knew it had to be good! I went easy on the rest of the rows that block and during the next block because I really wanted to go all out on my first 1 minute row. This row has been one that I’ve struggled with because I know that I can get 300 meters for a 1 minute row when I really push myself. But it’s been a long time since I could do that and I wanted to see if I could. I really thought it was possible and I was flying with all my power on the rower, but unfortunately I was 8 meters short when the clock stopped. It’s not easy to get over that disappointment, but I also know I will have many more opportunities to try for it. And this was one of the closest rows I’ve gotten to doing 300 meters in a minute so that is something to be proud of.

On the floor, we had one long block but it was split into 3 mini-blocks. The first mini-block was single arm squat swings and upright rows. The second was speed skater lunges and arm raises. And the last was plank pull throughs and sit-ups. Each mini-block was supposed to be done 3 times before moving on to the next one, and if we finished it we were supposed to do all the exercises as one long block. I made it through to the end and was just starting on doing them as one long block when the class was over.

Wednesday was a strength day and I was so glad to be on the bike. First, I’ve learned that I do my best cardio for strength days on the bike since I can do much more with resistance levels than I can with incline. But also it was my third workout in a row and I rarely have 3 days in a row. I knew I’d be tired and want to go easy on myself, but I had no idea how badly I’d need that until I started class.

There were 3 blocks for cardio and to be honest I didn’t exactly do what we were supposed to do. During the warmup I was starting to feel nauseous and light-headed and couldn’t figure out why. I knew I wasn’t supposed to be nauseous yet and was worried I was getting sick or something. But after the warmup, I realized that I had forgotten to eat dinner the night before. I don’t eat before a workout, but I also don’t usually skip dinner the night before the workout. So I had to take it easy and I did close to what we were supposed to do which was alternate between base and push paces. It was not a good day on the bike for me, but I did what I could and that was better than doing nothing.

On the floor we had 3 blocks and they all had a type of lunge, a type of ab exercise, and single leg sit to stands using the bench. For the lunges, I had to modify things because they all included a type of step up which I can’t do. So I did regular lunges and lateral lunges. The ab work was straight leg raises, leg raises to crunches, and plank work. And the single leg sit to stand started at 1 rep and we kept going up every round. I wasn’t sure I could do these because I can’t really do single leg stuff, but I was able to do it with keeping my opposite heel on the ground. I was so happy that I could do them and felt proud of myself, which made up for feeling so gross during cardio.

Friday was a mix of endurance, strength, and power and a 3 group workout. And it was also when my hormonal nausea started so I was grateful that all of our blocks during the workout were under 4 minutes and we switched areas of the room after each block.

On cardio, every time we were supposed to have a .25 mile push pace (1 mile on the bike) and then a walking recovery for 45 seconds before doing a push pace until the block ended. I did the first block that way, but then I realized that I was taking enough random breaks to wait for my nausea to pass so I really didn’t need the 45 second recovery. So I did the remaining blocks as a push pace the entire time and stopped whenever I needed to wait out the wave of nausea.

On the rower we had the same thing every time as well. We started with a 400 meter row and then had squats. Then the row went down to 250 meters and more squats. We were supposed to end with a 100 meter row and squats, but I never made it to even the second round of squats. I always finished out the block in the middle of my 250 meter row. I was slow, I wasn’t able to work that hard, and I had to take a lot of breaks. But I did it.

The floor is where we had a bit more variety, but we had double sets so we worked the same muscles twice in a row. The first block was focused on doing chest presses so we had them first with dumbbells and then on the straps. The second block was tricep focused so we did overhead triceps with weights and then triceps on the straps. The last block we had chest flys and tricep extensions using weights on the bench so it wasn’t exactly a double set. But my arms were feeling it after this class!

Saturday I was still nauseous but feeling a bit better than I had on Friday. So with the power workout we had I really tried to work hard on the bike. We had 6 little blocks for cardio and they were all a push, base, all out pattern. For 3 of the blocks the push was 90 seconds and for 3 of them the push was 60 seconds. And the base and all out varied each block too. They were really good power blocks and I was proud of myself for not even having a glimmer of a thought that I wish I had been able to do the workout on the treadmill. I was happy on the bike and proud of what I did.

On the floor we had 1 long block. There was a row and 6 exercises that added on each round. We started with a 100 meter row and 1 exercise. Then a 150 meter row and 2 exercises. It went up to a 350 meter row and all the exercises. The exercises were single arm hip hinge swings, high rows on the straps, squats using the straps, roll outs on the straps, squats, and plank work. I couldn’t do the plank work because of my nausea so I did side twists instead. We were supposed to get through all the exercises and then there was a plan to work back down, but I just finished the last of the 6 exercises when time was called. But I was glad I was able to get through everything at least once.

Even though I dealt with unexpected and expected nausea, I’m still happy with how I did this past week. Not only did I work hard, but I did a 5 workout week which is always a challenge for me. I know this week will likely be all bad nausea days, but I’m feeling more hopeful about what I can do during those days after this past week.

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Orangetheory Goals (or A Blog/Vlog Partnership!)

Posted on January 4, 2019 | Comments Off on Orangetheory Goals (or A Blog/Vlog Partnership!)

I am so excited for this post! For the past few years, I’ve written about my personal goals at the beginning of the year. And ever since I started going to Orangetheory, one of my goals has been how many classes I wanted to make it to that year. And while I’ve had other personal goals I wanted to accomplish that related to my fitness, I’ve never really shared a list of Orangetheory specific goals. But that changes this year!

I’ve made a list of some goals I have for 2019 at Orangetheory, but I didn’t want to do  this alone. So I reached out to Andrew Coleman Smith, who has a vlog channel with the amazing Fat Tuesday series where he talks about his fitness and health journey including Orangetheory, and he’s joining me with making 2019 our best OTF year yet! We are going to be holding each other accountable for our goals throughout the year and we will be checking in with each other at different times. When we have our check-ins he will be making an appearance (at least in writing) on here and I’ll be making an appearance on his YouTube channel! The vlog about us working together will be going up next week as his Fat Tuesday video, but this blog is a preview of our goals.

First, here are mine.

My first one is one that I mentioned in my main goals post. I want to do 200 workouts this year. This goal is the one that I look at as my easy goal, but I still need to make sure that I don’t slack off in getting in all my workouts each week.

Next is another one I’ve mentioned before in my workout recaps. I want to use the bike more than the treadmill for my cardio. I need to do this so I stop looking at the bike as not as good as the treadmill. I know I can work just as hard if not harder on the bike than I can on the treadmill and I need to remember that. I’m not exactly sure how I will decide what will be bike days versus treadmill days other than biking when I’m nauseous. But I’m going to be tracking what I use to make sure I stay on the bike more.

I also want to get a new PR of some sort on the rower. It’s been a while since I’ve gotten a PR on the rower. When I started at Orangetheory, I was getting a PR almost every time I rowed because I started with so little rowing skills. It’s easy to make progress when you are starting at the bottom. When you get better, progress comes in smaller increments and that’s where I’ve been getting stuck. But I’m going to make more of an effort to be aware of where my current PRs are and use them to help me try to beat it in class.

Along with tracking my rowing better, I have another tracking goal. I want to track my work I do on the floor. I have been tracking things on the treadmill, bike, and rower for so long and it seems so easy for me to do that.  But I don’t really track my weights on the floor so it is harder for me to know if I’m making progress. I know I have made some progress over 4 1/2 years because I never used anything higher than 15lbs in the past. But now, I can’t remember if 20lb or 25lb is my record for different types of lunges or things like that. And I want to know and be aware of what I am doing and when I move to using heavier weights instead of guessing when that happens.

And my final goal for 2019 at Orangetheory is one that I need help with. I want to bring more friends with me to a class. I love the friends that I’ve made at OTF, but it’s so special when I get to take a class with a friend. I want to do that more often so more people in my life can know why these workouts are so special to me.

And now it’s Andrew’s turn!

My name is Andrew! Every week I document my journey to become #NotFat on my weekly YouTube series, Fat Tuesdays! I’ve recently fallen in love with Orangetheory and it’s changed my entire life! Every Tuesday I share about that journey and more. I’d love to have you stop by and check it out!

My first goal this year is to go to a minimum of 3 times a week to Orangetheory. My attendance the last few months of the year were spotty and we all know consistency is key, so I feel like this goal will ensure a lot more progress in my journey. Plus Orangetheory says themselves that 3 to 4 times a week is what you should shoot for, so it’s right on track with “crushing it”.

Next, I want to level up on my push pace. It’s crazy to think that when I first started at Orangetheory, my push pace was a brisk walking speed and now it’s a 6.5! That being said, after crossing over the one year mark in my journey, I think it’s now time to up my push to a 7 (while still keeping my true base of 5.5) It’s a small change that I feel will really make a difference over the course of a year.

For my third goal, I want to FULLY prepare for my classes. My typical morning workout usually looks like this: I’m late to arrive, I can’t find any of my heart rate monitors (yes, I have multiple and yes I sometimes lose them all), I have to buy a water bottle, didn’t get proper sleep the night before… a MESS. (All things I feel a #FitnessPerson shouldn’t do)

And finally, be a better tracker. I’m all about documenting my progress with my health journey on my YouTube channel, but I don’t have the right stats. I don’t know really any of my markers for benchmarks in Orangetheory nor do I have proper measurements of my body. I want to measure every few months or so and keep a detailed journal of what’s changing (since the bathroom scale doesn’t really tell the full story) I also recently took some professional before pictures as a way to get an accurate look at where I’m at in my journey at the top of the year.

So those are our goals for this year at Orangetheory! If you have any fitness goals (Orangetheory or otherwise), I know we’d both love to know more about them! And please hold us both accountable as well. Andrew and I will be making sure that we hit our goals, but having more people checking in on us will be helpful too!

Here’s to us all having our best fitness year ever!

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