First of all, thank you to those of you who reached out to me after reading my post yesterday. Like I said in the post, I have had a rough month and it was getting tough but I was ok. I knew things would turn around eventually and being honest and open that life isn’t always amazing is something I strive to do. Normalizing shifts in moods helps others understand that they don’t always have to be perfect or happy. But I still appreciated those of you who checked in with me to make sure I was ok and to see if I needed anything.
Just getting that response really did help me feel better. While I know that I have people in my life who love me and care about me, sometimes when you are in those negative places you can think otherwise or that they are only superficial friends. It doesn’t help that I also had someone in my life who liked to tell me when I was growing up that nobody loved me and that anyone who claims to care about me was lying or only after something. But seeing messages from friends reminded me that I am important to people and that they do care about my well-being.
Many times when I write posts on here that are a bit more negative they are very cathartic and therapeutic for me. I need to get whatever is bothering me off my chest and the easiest way for me to do that is to write about it on here. There are times where those negative things are occupying my thoughts so much that it’s the only thing I can write about. But even when I don’t like writing about it because I like to keep this blog fun, I know they are important posts to write. And it’s always a relief when I finish the post and get it out into the world because in a way it allows me to move it out of my thoughts.
After I wrote that post, things finally started to get better and I was getting out of the funk I was in. It wasn’t just getting the post out and the outreach from my friends that turned it around, but that was a big part of it too. I forgot to mention in my post that I was also stressed due to some job things. One of my day jobs is a contract job and it was up in the air if I would be getting another contract when my current one ends this fall. Even though that isn’t my main day job, I depend on that money. And to think that I might be out of that paycheck soon was terrifying and I had been putting off looking for a new job. But I found out that it is looking good that I will be getting another contract. It may still be at the reduced hours I’m currently working at, but that’s better than nothing.
I also was doing some planning with my blog posts coming up in my editorial calendar and noticed that I do have a lot of fun things coming up in the next month or so. Even though some of them aren’t right away and I know there will be some down time between all the fun stuff, just reminding myself that I have them coming up helped to improve my mood. It’s funny how just the reminder of good things happening soon can make me feel that much better. I don’t usually review my calendar that often or look too far ahead, but maybe I should be doing that every so often.
I know that getting over this funk doesn’t mean that it won’t be happening again soon for me. I’m hyperaware of my moods and feelings and try to make sure I take care of myself before it gets too bad. This time I did procrastinate on taking care of myself which is why I think it got to me as much as it did. But I was able to use the tools I have and depend on my amazing friends to help me when it just felt really bad.
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