Having A Hot Mess Day (or I Should Have Just Stayed In Bed)

For years, I’ve talked about how I have dumb days and smart days. Fortunately for me, most of my days are smart days (or at least neutral days). When I have a dumb day, I just can’t figure things out. Everything becomes a huge issue and I just cannot think correctly. They seem to hit me pretty hard, but I have gotten used to the idea of having them so I know how to deal with it when it happens.

But this past Sunday I had something new. I have started to call it Hot Mess Day. That’s when everything seems to not go my way no matter what I do or try to make happen. It was honestly an epically bad day. It was so bad that I got to a point where I just had to laugh about things because I didn’t know so much could pile up on me and I didn’t know what would come next.

It started with having a bad pain and nausea day. I knew I would be happening based on how things happen with me and my cycle. I have gotten used to having these days, but it doesn’t necessarily make them easier. When I woke up, I had to take the various medications I need to make things not as severe and then I went back to lay down and wait for the meds to kick in. Once they did, I took advantage of a brief moment of feeling almost normal to get some grocery shopping done. I have to time out my errands around when I’m feeling a bit better during these bad days, so I knew I needed to do something at that moment. So I got all my things for the store and left to do my grocery shopping.

Things seemed normal until I got to the checkout. I had forgotten that the night before I had to use my credit card for something online and for some reason I forgot to put the card back in my wallet. I don’t know if I’ve ever forgotten to do that before (maybe I was having a dumb day and didn’t know it?) and I couldn’t believe it happened to me. I did have another card I could use for groceries, but it was not the card I wanted to use and I was beating myself up a bit for not checking to see if I had put my card back in my wallet the night before.

Once I got home from the grocery store, I was feeling pretty awful. I got the groceries away that needed to be in my fridge and freezer and left everything else for later while I went back to my bed to lie down. I was sweating from how bad the pain was and I was getting sick. When I was sick, I took the few steps from my bed to get to my bathroom. My bed isn’t high up or anything so there’s usually not an issue getting out of bed quickly. But for some reason, something happened one time getting out of bed to go to the bathroom on Sunday. I still don’t know exactly how it happened, but when I put my left foot down I had a huge shock of pain. It actually took my breath away for a second. I ignored the pain while I went to the bathroom but when I was feeling more normal I turned my focus to my foot.

My left foot and ankle were looking extremely swollen and bruised. I could maybe understand being swollen or bruised, but to have both was weird. I feel fairly certain I didn’t break anything and it’s just a bad sprain, but it was still painful. I had some KT tape in my bedroom so I used that to tape up my ankle and then went back to being in bed trying to wait for the next time I was feeling normal so I could do some laundry.

And if all this wasn’t enough, I had a screwup with a job on Sunday too. This wasn’t my fault because I had been told to do something by one person and it turns out they were wrong and I had to go back and fix the work I did. Nobody blamed me for it, but I was the one who had to fix things and figure out how to work around it. I had to redo the work I had done earlier that day, but it took less than 20 minutes to make the fix. If Sunday had been a normal day, I think this wouldn’t have bothered me too much. But because of everything else I had to deal with earlier in the day, this was almost a bit of a breaking point for me. I decided I couldn’t deal with much more and just spent the rest of my evening sitting on my couch and watching really bad/trashy tv. It seemed a fitting evening for the day.

I’m aware that I do need to have bad days to help me appreciate the good ones, but I really would prefer the bad days to not be this bad or to hit me as much as this one did. But as some of my friends put it to me on Monday, I survived my Hot Mess Day. It doesn’t matter how bad the day was, I made it through and I should remember that if I can get through that I can probably get through anything. It’s a great way to think about it and I’m glad I had people who could put it into that perspective for me. But I’ll still be hoping that this Hot Mess Day is a once in a lifetime issue and the rest of the bad days I have in my future are easier to deal with.

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Grateful For Quick Turnarounds (or Neutral Doesn’t Mean Bad) This Cold Really Took Me Down (or Several Days Of Doing Nothing) Pain Distracts From Other Pain (or The Rain Isn’t Too Bad This Time) A Bit Of Self-Care Fail (or Maybe I Was Hard On Myself) Being A Bit Paranoid (or Trying To Believe I’m Not Having More Health Issues) Organization Time (or Seeing A Bit Of A Mess)