I haven’t written about dating for a little while, and that’s honestly because I haven’t had a lot to write about. I am getting a bit burnt out with dating apps, but I also know they are almost a necessary evil. So I’m trying to set times to make an effort but I’m not as focused on them as I was in the past. I also have so many other things happening in my life right now so finding time to go on dates isn’t as easy as it normally is.
I don’t know if I’d say we are in a post-pandemic world since the pandemic isn’t really over, but it’s not the same as it was at the beginning of the pandemic. So I guess I’ve experienced pre-pandemic, pandemic, and almost post-pandemic dating at this point. And honestly, there haven’t been a lot of things that have been different when comparing each time. The biggest difference was during the worst of the pandemic, I was trying to date before seeing someone in real life since you had to have a lot of trust in them to risk things like that. I’m glad that we are pretty much past that point in the pandemic and as long as you are meeting in an outdoor space, it’s pretty safe. I know you still have to be cautious and we can’t be quite as carefree as before, but I’m glad it’s better.
But besides that main difference, so much is still the same and it’s really frustrating. The lack of follow-through and getting ghosted are at the top of my annoyance list. Being ghosted always sucks and I hate it. I haven’t really been ghosted much lately, but that’s only because I haven’t had a lot of dates recently. And I don’t know if I count someone that I’m messaging with who stops responding as someone who ghosted me. I know some people do think of it as the same thing, and I can see why they would think that. But for me, it’s a bit different.
But messaging someone who stops responding goes along with the idea of lack of follow-through. There are so many guys I have talked to who have asked me if I wanted to meet up with them in person and I’ve agreed. But then when it comes to making plans, they just don’t say much. There was someone recently who asked me to meet them for coffee, and I agreed. They asked me when I was free and I gave them a few options. They responded that they would need to check their schedule and get back to me. Maybe I’m wrong for following up with them after not hearing back for a few days, but I try to give people chances. But more often than not, either they don’t respond to my follow-up or they give me another non-specific answer or leave things up in the air. I don’t know if they are just flakey people or if they never really wanted to meet up in person. Either way, I’m over that feeling and dealing with it. I know I have to allow for some flexibility and I can’t expect that someone wouldn’t have something that requires them to postpone (I’ve had to reschedule before), but unless there is a plan happening after we’ve made plans to meet in person, I don’t have to just sit and wait for them to let me know when they are ready for me.
I have so much other stress and frustration in my life right now, so maybe it’s for the best that I haven’t been able to make plans with anyone. My time should be spent working on moving and focusing on that. I’ve been busy pretty much every day after work for over a week now and I’m glad I used that time for stuff related to the move. If I was actually dating someone and not just going on first dates that might not lead anywhere, maybe I would feel differently. But for now, my time is better spent on stuff I know I need to do this month and not things that only have the potential to be something. But once I’m moved into my new place, I hope that I feel a bit reinvigorated and will be back to my regular dating style and maybe things will be a bit better.
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