I have continued to be active on the dating apps throughout this quarantine. I didn’t see the need to change that because I am still looking for my person and I didn’t want to give up on it while things were weird. But I have had to make a lot of changes with how I date and what my expectations are.
Normally, my goal when I match with someone on an app is to get a little texting on the app done to make sure we are on the same page about things and then suggest we meet up. I know that chemistry over text is not the same as chemistry in person, so I don’t want to waste time if I text for weeks, and then when we meet we don’t click. Also, I’ve found there are some guys that have no intentions of ever meeting. Either they are scammers and can’t meet or they are just on dating apps to text and flirt. So I want to get rid of those guys and make sure I only spend my time on the ones that really are looking for something off the apps.
But it’s not really possible to meet up with someone right away these days. It’s frustrating to me because it’s such an important part of dating to me. But I’ve been working with what I can do right now. I’m so grateful that a lot of apps have added voice and video call features to them. So I don’t have to give out my number to talk to someone on the phone or have a video chat with them. And I have been doing a lot of that. I used to never talk to guys on the phone before going out with them. It’s weird for me to do it. But not so weird that I don’t want to do it. I just have to figure out the best way to be more comfortable on the phone. I don’t know if I’ll keep up the phone call thing after I can start meeting guys in person again, but I’m glad it’s an option now.
Video calls aren’t as common for me to do. But that’s mainly because I don’t want to do them. I don’t want to feel watched that long when I’m not actually face to face with someone. It’s one thing to be on a 2-hour date with someone and have your focus on them. It’s another to be on a 2-hour video chat and hold that same focus.
And the other day, I was supposed to have my first socially distanced date. It was with someone that I had been texting and having calls with. And we both were interested in trying to move things forward while being safe. So we were supposed to meet at a park where we could sit at least 6 feet apart (and both wear masks). Unfortunately, I was stood up. He didn’t respond to my texts or calls. I don’t know what the point was. Some friends said that maybe he was too anxious to meet me, but then I would hope he would respond or message me saying sorry. I wonder if he ever wanted to meet up or if he was looking for something that I wasn’t looking for. It sucks that getting ghosted still is happening, but I also don’t know why I would expect anything different.
I’m not going to let being stood up bring me down. It sucks, but I can move forward. I don’t really know what dating is going to look like for the future, but it is interesting to see the baby steps I have been taking forward to try to date. Hopefully, it will be safe again soon to have dates without the fear of getting sick. For now, I just have to work with what I can and get creative about figuring things out.
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