Time for another dating post. But this one isn’t a big revelation or a huge story. It’s just the story of one guy and what happened over 2 days. And maybe someone else will be able to explain to me what happened because I’m still very confused.
As the story usually goes with guys I meet on dating apps, we matched and because it was on Bumble I had to send a message first. We started messaging back and forth about a lot of different things and it seemed like we had a lot in common. The only negative about this guy was that he only lived part of the time in LA (the rest of the time he lived in NYC). But that wasn’t enough for me to not want to keep messaging with him and the day after we started messaging I mentioned that it would be nice to meet up.
Fortunately, he agreed but he also had a long workday that day. He said he works in Burbank and we could either meet up in Burbank right when he was done with work or he could come to my side of town a few hours after work. I didn’t want to be out too late, so I decided that I would drive to his side of town.
I almost never do this for a first date anymore. I have learned from past experience that I would rather be closer to my side of town in case the date goes poorly. I have left dates after only a few minutes before and it’s really annoying to have to drive an hour there or back when the date only lasts a fraction of that time. But I was feeling optimistic about this guy so I figured I could break my own rule and it would be fine. He seemed like a good guy and he was being really respectful in our messages. When I asked him for his last night to give to my friend for safety, he said he had never been asked for his last name before going on a date but that he thought it was a really smart idea. I shared a screenshot of that part of our conversation with friends saying how awesome it was that he was being a gentleman.
We kept messaging throughout the day and when I was getting ready to drive over there I gave him a heads up. He had suggested a bar we could meet at and that worked for me. I let him know approximately what time I was supposed to arrive so he wasn’t sitting there and waiting too long for me, and he said that was fine. I told him I was starting the drive so he wouldn’t be concerned if I wasn’t responding to any messages he sent. He thanked me for the heads up and told me that he’d see me at the bar soon.
The drive over there was only a little bit faster than my GPS predicted. But it still took me an hour to get there and I was so happy to find a parking spot so I could message this guy and let him know I was there and would head inside the bar. But when I went to Bumble to message him, the match was gone.
Bumble is one of the apps that shows you the difference between someone deleting their profile and someone unmatching you. Because it didn’t see the messages with the heading “deleted profile”, I knew he had unmatched with me. But I honestly have no clue why.
I guess there is a chance that he did message me while I was driving and he got offended or worried when I didn’t respond and he thought I wasn’t going to show up. I also wondered if he wasn’t actually single and he was having second thoughts about being a cheater (while I would appreciate him for doing that, a heads up would be nice). But what I’m assuming is that this was all a joke or a prank to him. Maybe he wanted me to feel rejected or sad that someone I thought was interested didn’t show up. Maybe he thought I would go into the bar without checking Bumble to see if we were still matched and I’d be sitting at the bar waiting for him and I would be stood up. But instead of me feeling rejected, I was pissed.
I was so mad at the situation that I was shaking. I didn’t feel safe to drive home so I called a friend to vent about the situation. I needed to tell someone what happened and try to calm down. And while I did get a bit more upset as I shared the story, I finally started to calm down. My friend didn’t have a clue why this guy did this to me either, so while I was calming down I was still confused. I thought about staying on that side of town to do something so the drive wouldn’t be wasted, but at that point, I just wanted to go home and decompress.
The drive home was a bit faster than the drive there, which was nice. And once I was home I turned on my tv to watch something fun on my DVR to be in a better mood before going to bed. By the time I went to bed, I was still a little angry about the entire thing but I was much more confused. And now, I’m just confused about what the point was for the guy.
If this was supposed to be a joke or a prank, it was unfinished because I didn’t go into the bar and feel stood up. If he wanted me to feel that way, he should have messaged me saying he was inside so I would have gotten out of my car to go inside to try to find him. It’s almost sad that he couldn’t follow through with a prank if that’s what it was and I know that I’m better for not wasting more time on a date with this guy.
There’s no big life lesson from this date other than the rules I set for myself are good and I should stick to them. I’ve been good about not giving out my number until I meet a guy (you don’t want to give your number to a scammer), but I need to be better about not driving out of my way for a date. And this non-date really proved to me that the rule is a smart one and this is what might happen if I don’t follow it.
You Might Also Like
Working On Rejection (or Why Can’t Dating Be Like Acting)
Getting Banned From Tinder (or No Regrets Calling Out A Cheater)
I Might Write A Book (or The Bumble Avenger)
Sometimes I Miss Not Caring (or The Grass Is Always Greener)
Standing Up For Myself (or A Bad But Funny Date Story)
Thinking About My Relationships (or Starting My 2018 Reflection)
