For a good chunk of this year, I have said that I need to work on adding more things back into my life. I missed so much while being isolated in my house. I was bored for days and weeks and I was ready to be out of my house and busy with anything else. And I do still feel like I need to keep adding more back into my life, but I don’t feel the same pull to force myself to do that as I did before.
There are still some concerns about the pandemic for me. For a while, the numbers were getting better every day and things seemed so much safer. But the past week or two has been different and numbers have been increasing every day. Now, things are close to where they were months ago with the number of cases every day. The deaths and hospitalizations aren’t as bad, and most of the research says that a huge majority of cases now are from unvaccinated people. So I should still be safe. But I’m still being careful when I can with wearing a mask when I am out and not taking too many unnecessary risks. I’m not as fearful as I was earlier this year with going out, but I do notice some anxiety and I have had a few panic attacks at the grocery store recently. I understand that masks are optional now if you are vaccinated, but it still makes me nervous to see people in a store without them (fortunately, almost everyone seems to still be wearing a mask).
But I also think that the reason I don’t feel the need to add more to my life right now is that I’m finally busy again with work. Even though all of my jobs are part-time, when you add up all the hours I do each day I am working full-time hours. Sitting in front of a computer for hours a day is draining and I usually want to rest when I’m done with work. I also still have regular things to do after work that I’m not doing in the middle of the day like I did when I wasn’t working. And I’m working on cooking more at home so that also takes up time.
For me to do more fun things in my life, I do need to plan ahead and add them to my schedule. And I know I can do that and I’m sure if I asked my friends if they wanted to plan something, we would. But I’m back to where I have felt before in my life when I just don’t feel the push to be super social. But this time it’s different since I’m coming off of a year of not be social at all. So I know I should make an effort to make plans, but I’m really just enjoying the routine and normalcy right now. This is something that I was missing for a long time, so routine doesn’t feel as routine as it used to.
I know that more and more things are opening and happening around LA, and I do want to take advantage of this amazing city that I live in. But while going on adventures is a bit about the novelty of it all, so is having a normal schedule again and I’m really just enjoying having something like my old life back and being in a routine that I can count on.
And I’m sure that it’s only a matter of time that I will be bored of my routine and really craving to go out and do something. And I’ll figure out what I can do and what seems safe and I’ll have much more interesting things to write about.
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