My post yesterday was definitely a bit of a downer. As I said, I usually have good days but I have had some bad days too. I heard something on a podcast about how most people are experiencing some signs of depression these days, and I don’t doubt it. I think a lot of my exhaustion is related to dealing with a bit of depression. It’s not bad enough that I am worried about my health or safety and my therapist has said that she doesn’t think I need to be on medication for it as this is not my usual mindset. But it’s something to be aware of.
And part of being aware of it is working on coming out of the funk. Usually, that’s more in my control because I have options of what I can do. But now, I really don’t have the opportunity to go out and feel better. And I can’t really go out to see my friends.
But just because I can’t go out to see my friends, I can still be social with my friends. It’s just in a different way. I have been doing Zoom hangouts, but those can be overwhelming and there is such a thing as Zoom Fatigue (which is the idea of having so much anxiety because you don’t know if someone is watching you or not). So I’ve been trying to have more phone calls (without a video element) with my friends.
When I was growing up, I spent a lot of time on the phone with friends. We did have internet and AOL messenger was a big deal, but I spent way more time on the phone than I did online. I had my own phone line during high school, so I was able to be on the phone without kicking other people in my family off the phone (or off the internet since AOL went through the phone line). I’m sure I did some phone calls in college too, but I know I was doing a lot more texting then. And now, I rarely make phone calls. I call family, but I text a lot more often. And there are lots of friends that I almost never call but wouldn’t think twice about texting.
But texting isn’t enough for me right now, so I’ve been doing a lot more phone time. Even if I’m talking to a friend and just venting and ranting to them, it really helps. Of course, I am happy to do the same for any of my friends and I have been the sounding board for many of them. We all need to be heard these days and I’m so glad I can be there for my friends when they need it and that they are there for me.
I’ve had a lot of phone calls recently with my friends. Some of them are not totally social calls, but we still get some friendly chatting in while doing work too. I’ve been busy getting things organized with the livestreams I have been doing for my slate lately, and my co-creator is my friend Amir. So when we have to be on the phone together dozens of times a day (or for a long hour or two calls), even though we are working for a lot of it, we do get silly too. I’ve had a few other work and union-related calls that turn into silliness, which helps to break up my day.
And even though these are technically just texting or messaging, having regular Netflix Parties with friends helps too. I think it’s the idea of having a communal experience with others. I know that those friends in the party with me are watching the same thing at the same time as I am. We do message about things about the movie or tv show we are watching (like when something crazy happens or when we love an outfit), but a lot of what we talk about in Netflix Party has nothing to do with what we are watching. We talk about stuff happening in our lives and if someone is struggling we are there to support them. It’s crazy how much support I get out of the group because technically I’ve never met any of the friends who are in it with me. We are all just in a Facebook group together. We have created a bond in that group and the smaller group that does the Netflix Party has an even stronger bond. I know if I needed something that I could reach out to any of them and they would be there for me.
I’ve also had some phone call dates recently. While those don’t help me as much as calls with my friends all the time because sometimes the guys I’m talking to aren’t the best, it’s something. And I’m not staying on bad calls or on calls with guys I don’t see myself dating just to be on the phone. If I’m spending time on the phone with someone, it’s because I want to talk to them. And I do hope that in the future those calls turn into real dates (socially distanced or not). But I am aware that some people are just looking to talk to someone and it might not go the way I would hope it would go. But when I’ve been messaging with guys before when I could go out on dates, I would have the same issue. So finding people who have no intentions beyond virtual hangouts isn’t a new issue.
It’s not always easy to plan or schedule calls for when I’m in a bad mood. And I can’t exactly plan when those bad moods will happen so I can’t figure things out ahead of time. And when I’m in a funk, I don’t always reach out to others. I know that I need to, but it’s not easy. I am lucky that I have people in my life that reach out to me just to check-in, so that is good. And if I try to have a somewhat regular schedule of when I talk to people, hopefully that helps to keep my mood a bit better and more even. And there is a chance that by the time I figure out how to do all this that things will be normal again and I won’t need to worry about it as much. But it’s always good to have a plan in your life when you aren’t doing so great.
Even though I really don’t have many plans for the weekend, I am looking forward to it and seeing what I am able to get done. I don’t have any crazy projects that I’m working on, but I’m sure I’ll find something to do and I’ll hopefully be a bit busy. And I know I have a Netflix Party on Saturday and that is always a highlight of my weekend.
I hope that all of you are doing ok. This is not an easy time for anyone. I know it’s not easy to reach out if you are struggling, but if you can please do so. People are more than willing to help and listen. And just having a friend there for you can make such a difference.
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Making Friends As An Adult (or Am I Weird?)
How I Spent My Actual Birthday (or Friends, Friends, and More Friends)
Friends Helping Friends (or Not Being Afraid To Ask For Support)
