I have gone on some really interesting and creative dates over the last several years, but most of the dates I go on have ended up being at the same few locations. It’s fine with me that those first dates are somewhere that I’m comfortable and feel safe, but it can also be a bit of a rut. And this rut isn’t just with my dating life, in my regular life I seem to go to the same places or eat at the same restaurants. It’s not a horrible thing to have this type of rut, but it also can feel sometimes that I’m not taking advantage of the amazing city that I live in.
I recently went on a few dates with a guy who moved to LA at the end of last year, so most things in the city were new to him. We had some really fun phone calls between dates making a list of places that would be fun dates. They weren’t necessarily anything extravagant, one of them was going to a rooftop movie venue, but most of the things on the list were things that I wouldn’t normally think of when I’m thinking of something to do. There were some places that were new to me and some that I had been to before. But they were all things that I was excited to go to.
I’m not seeing that guy anymore, but the idea of the list that we had made has stuck in my brain. I didn’t keep the list that he and I made, so I don’t have all the places we thought of, but I realized that I should make one of my own. I think some places could be good for both dates and hanging out with friends, but I also want to see if I can think of some places that would be better for one thing or another.
This isn’t the first time I’ve had an idea to do something like this, but I haven’t really been good at checking things off of a list that I create. But I think the dates that I went on pushed me to realize how much fun I could have if I make more of an effort to go to places and not just do the same things that I always do. I also feel like there is a sense of LA feeling new to me again since I have been staying home for so long. I know that not everything is safe and I do still have some hesitation as I’ve had for a while, but I also have noticed that as I push myself a bit more I’m getting more comfortable as well. It’s been all about finding a balance between what is fun and what is safe for these last few years, and I think I’ve probably been too timid to push that balance until recently. I don’t regret doing that because I’m very grateful that I haven’t gotten sick, but it’s too easy to stay in this rut.
I also know that I need to push myself to go and hang out with friends more than I do right now. That’s also still a struggle and it’s also tough with how many people have moved away from LA. But I’ve been doing better at making sure I spend time with the friends I do have here and it’s been so nice to take friends who became more like acquaintances into friends again. I know that I will miss my friends who aren’t here, especially when I do something that I would have done with them before. But I’m working on appreciating the people who are still local and also making new friends when I can.
The list that I am working on is just a draft email right now. It’s nothing fancy, but it’s something I can look at when I’m trying to make plans to do something. And it’s not something that has a deadline of when I want to get all of them accomplished, I just want a list that is a reminder of all the amazing things I can go out to do when I am looking for something different from the usual things I do. And hopefully, between friends and dates, I will get more fun things added to the list that I will get to experience with others in the near future.
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