Continuing To Work On My Book (or I Wonder How Many Versions I’ll Have Before I Finish It)

I’ve shared on here before about how I am going to write a book about online dating. My stories have been so ridiculous and my friends have loved hearing about them. After posting so many of them online, people were encouraging me to put them in a book and I started to think about that idea. And I decided to go for it last year.

Since I had that idea, I’ve worked on it on and off for a while. The original idea of the book would be that it would be a collection of stories. Each guy would have their own standalone chapter or story and it would just be all the stories in one place. I was going to split it up by the guys that I met, the guys I matched with and unmatched with them for various reasons, and the cheaters that I caught online. Having them as standalone stories made them pretty easy to write and I got most of the stories done when I was working on it last November.

But when I finished that, I realized how short the book was. I knew it could get longer because I was still doing online dating and having stories to share, but it still concerned me if I wanted to do anything with the book. But I didn’t focus too much on it at the time. Then after I went through an upsetting situation with a guy, I reconnected with a few guys who I had met in the past. After that situation, I realized that having each guy as their own story didn’t make as much sense because reconnecting with the guys that I had met previously was very connected to the situation that happened to me.

So then I started working on a version of the story that was more of a chronological story of dating. I had the idea to break my story in the seasons of the year because that seemed to be some nice and natural break points in the story. I didn’t get that far into writing that version when I realized that this idea wasn’t making as much sense to me as it did before. So many of the crazy stories that I had weren’t necessary in telling the story and they were better as standalone stories. Also, I really don’t remember when certain weird situations happened because I never met those guys (so I never put dates with them in my calendar).

There was a bit of time where I wondered if I should bother continuing writing the book, but I quickly squashed that negative thought. Even if I don’t do anything with the book, it has been helpful for me. It gives me a place to write down thoughts and decompress after bad dates or after things end with a guy that I liked. I know that some of the things I am writing will have to be edited out if I ever publish it, but it’s a nice place to get things out when I need to do that. Also, it makes me have a better mindset about the really bad dates I’ve had. The past few bad dates have been not as horrible as they could have been because I was sitting there thinking how great of a story for the book this date would be. It’s been a great way to get through things that could be miserable otherwise.

So I started to rethink the book again and now I’m on the third version of the book. As much as I’d like to say this is the last version, who knows what will happen. As of right now, my book is split into 2 sections. The first section is a chronological story of the more significant guys that I’ve gone out with. These are guys I’ve dated for a while, guys who have helped me learn something about myself, or guys that ghosted me or broke my heart. They all deserve to have their stories told together because they work together and you can see how one thing leads into the other.

The second part of the book (which I’m guessing will end up being a longer part than the first) will be standalone stories of the crazies I’ve met. Some of these guys are guys that I messaged with and never met because they revealed their true colors before we made plans and other guys are ones that I went on my worst dates with. There are a few guys in there that aren’t horrible people but are better as a standalone story, but in general this section of the book isn’t flattering for any of the guys I met. These are the stories that you hear as warning stories on why online dating can be bad.

I’ve been slowly working on the book this time around. Even though this is the third version of it, I’ve never finished any of the versions. The advantage I have now is that most of the standalone stories have already been written although I am going to go back and edit and rewrite them. Plus I’ve already had a few new stories to add to that section that I need to work on. But I don’t really have a timeline for finishing it. In a way, I don’t know if it can be finished until I’m in a relationship because then I will always feel like there will be more stories to add.

There’s no rush since I really have no plans for this book. If I end up trying to sell it, awesome. If it just becomes a document on my computer, that’s fine too. But I do like having it as a goal to work on as well as something that has been a useful tool in surviving the online dating world.

You Might Also Like

A NaNoWriMo Update (or Maybe I Need More Dates) Adventures In Online Dating (or My Luck Might Be Changing) NaNoWriMo Take 2 (or Still Working On The Same Book) I Might Write A Book (or The Bumble Avenger) Continuing To Work On Myself (or More Reflective Challenges) Building Upon My Monthly Challenge (or Continuing To Work On Shopping)