Changing My Perspective (or Maybe I Should Think More About What Other’s Think of Me)

This past Friday (when the world did not end), my friends Marie and Chris (who got married in Texas recently) threw an End of The World/Chris’s Birthday Party.

I knew I wouldn’t be able to stay too late at the party since I had to work on Saturday morning, but I wanted to go and at least make an appearance.

I got to hang out with a ton of friends who I hadn’t seen since the wedding, and I got to drop of a DVD of all the photos I took at the various wedding festivities to Marie.

As I was leaving, another friend was heading outside for a cigarette, so we walked outside together. I’m going to refer to this friend as “K” since I didn’t get to ask her if I could write about her on here.

K and I were chatting about a lot of random stuff outside. Somehow, age was the topic. I mentioned how K, Marie, and a lot of our other mutual friends have known me since the summer I turned 19. That’s a pretty long time.

K was saying how they have watched me grow up and she even remembers when I was doing my senior thesis at LMU. And then K said something that made me pause.

She mentioned how she found it odd that I was always surprised to be invited to Marie’s various bridal events (bridal shower, bachelorette party, wedding) because in her head, they’ve all known me for almost 12 years so of course I’d be invited.

But in my head, I’ve always thought of myself as the annoying little sister of the group hoping to tag along. Maybe I’ve felt this way because in the beginning of my friendship with them all, I wasn’t 21 yet so most of the time I couldn’t hang out with everyone. But I’ve never outgrown that feeling.

But maybe I should.

I spend a lot of time not listening to what people think of me. But maybe I should start listening.

K said some really wonderful and meaningful things to me. I’m not sure if she realizes how much our quick conversation meant to me.

So K, if you are reading this, thank you. You really made me think and realize that sometimes I’m the one who doesn’t think of myself in the best light. I need a mirror of my friends to help me see the truth.

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