This past week of workouts was a weird one. I did have a little pain and nausea that I had to deal with at the beginning of the week, but that was tolerable and normal enough for me to deal with. But for a good chunk of the past year, I told myself that I would go back to the workouts at Orangetheory (whether they were in the studio or outdoors) once I was considered fully vaccinated. And as of Sunday the 4th, I’m considered fully vaccinated. Yet, I’m still working out at home.
First, a quick recap on my workouts. I’m still doing the same weightlifting/strength plan that I’ve been doing for a while now. I am making some modifications and adding different exercises from time to time. One great thing about my history with Orangetheory is that I know a lot of different exercises that I’ve done in workouts. So while I don’t have a perfect knowledge of all exercises, I have a lot that I can pull from. So if I don’t feel like doing one type of squats, I know a ton of other squats I can do instead. And I’ve been trying to get through this workout routine in about 30 minutes each time. This isn’t to get it over with, but to make sure I’m moving quickly and not taking a lot of breaks. This way, I can get my heart rate up and get a little cardio in with the weightlifting.
I’m happy enough with this workout plan. It’s not great or perfect, but it’s doable. It allows me to not have to think too much each morning. And not having to plan and think about my workout is something I love about Orangetheory. They do all the planning work and I just have to follow along. And I know that I could do different workout videos that I have saved on a playlist, but I also would have to pick which one to do. So not having to make any decisions before I start is working for me. I do feel a bit stuck, but that feeling isn’t too bad and I think it’s worth having that feeling for the ease I feel sticking with this routine.
But I am very ready to get back to Orangetheory. I miss so much about my classes. I miss feeling like I’m working hard and part of a community. I miss my workout friends (although sadly, some have moved away so they won’t be in class with me when we are all back). I miss the transformation I was feeling in my body. I miss feeling like I’m doing something great for my physical and mental health. So that’s why for so long I said that as soon as I was fully vaccinated I would be back.
Then this week happened and I still wasn’t back.
And honestly, the reasons I’m not back are excuses that I could work through. There are 2 locations that are open not too far away from me that are open. One of them is doing outdoor workouts and one is now in the studio. But they aren’t the studios near my house and the times I’d have to work out would be affected by the drive there and back. I don’t feel like I want to work out at 6am to get a workout in before work. And while I might have to accept one day that I need to do afternoon workouts again, doing an afternoon one at the open studios would mean I would have to deal with rush hour traffic going home. The drive to those locations in normal time would probably be about 15 minutes. In rush hour, it can be over an hour. I could deal with that, but I don’t want to. They haven’t announced when the studio by my house will be opening, but I’m hoping it will be later this month. If it isn’t open soon, then I know I will have to figure out a way to make those workout times work for me.
But I’m also a bit scared to go back. I’ve shared several times before that I know I’m not in the same shape that I was a year ago when things shut down. I understand that this is not the worst thing ever and that a lot of people had the same problem. But I’m still embarrassed and ashamed about this. And when I go back to the workouts, I will have to confront this feeling head-on. It’s easier for me to ignore this when I’m doing my workouts at home because they are different from Orangetheory. But when I’m doing what I used to do, I will be comparing myself to myself a year ago.
And I think I also don’t want to deal with another change right now. If my regular studio was open, I would feel like I was getting back something that I didn’t have the past year. Even though the workout is the same, going to a new studio is different and I’m worried that I might still have the feeling that I’m missing my regular studio and routine. I know this one is a bit of a stupid excuse, but there are so many things we’ve all given up this past year and are hoping to get back. I just want to have my regular studio back. I want my old routine back (even though I know it will have to change because of my new work schedule).
So for now, I’m in a bit of a holding pattern with my plan to go back. I could go back whenever I feel ready. Right now, I’m feeling like that will be when the studio near my house is open. But if that one opens and I still have excuses, then I will need to work through this a lot more. That would mean I’m avoiding things and I don’t want that to be true. But I don’t really feel like I’m avoiding Orangetheory, I just want to have things feel normal and what they were like before.
You Might Also Like
Being Emotional At OTF (or It’s Weird Seeing The Studio Like This)
Doing More OTF Live (or Easing Back Into More Hard Workouts)
An Up and Down Workout Week (or a Weird Week and a Weird Milestone)
One Step Closer To My Regular Workouts (or Trying OTF Live)
Still Figuring Out My Workouts (or I’m Just Missing OTF More And More)
6 Months Of Home Workouts (or I Still Miss OTF All The Time)
