It had been a little while since my Pantages group had a musical, but we finally had our second show of this season this past weekend. Our shows for the rest of the season will be coming pretty quickly (about once a month) so I’m excited to get to have a bunch of shows to see soon.
Our group’s usual routine is to get dinner before the show at one of the places near the theater. A few of us were on a budget so we decided to go with Shake Shack and we planned when to leave accordingly. But once we got near the theater, we noticed a couple of helicopters and various emergency vehicles with sirens on. We didn’t think too much about it because we were able to get into the parking garage. But as soon as we were at the street level, we saw what was causing all the commotion.
There was a guy climbing a construction crane right across from Shake Shack. Dozens of people were watching him and he didn’t seem to be doing it as a stunt. We were nervous because it didn’t look like he had any safety equipment and none of us wanted to watch him fall. So after a few minutes we headed over to the restaurant to have dinner before the show. By the time we were walking over to the theater, the guy was still on the crane but it turns out that he was apprehended pretty soon after the show started. It was a pretty weird start to our evening, but we were excited to be going to a show and having a fun night.
The show this time was “Love Never Dies” which is the sequel to “Phantom Of The Opera”.
I’ve shared on here before that Phantom isn’t necessarily my favorite show. I did enjoy it when I saw it the last time, but it’s still not at the top of my list. So I was a bit worried that I wouldn’t enjoy this show as much as I enjoy most of the shows. But I tried to have as open of a mind that I could and the excitement of the rest of the group helped me to be more excited.
Unfortunately, my concerns were pretty accurate. I thought the costumes and sets were amazing. And the performers were some of the best that we’ve seen. But the story wasn’t one that I connected with or loved and that was a bit frustrating. I really want to love every show that I see because I know how hard everyone works to put on a great performance. And this time I wanted to love it even more because I discovered that someone I worked with at Universal Studios about 10 years ago was in the cast. But I guess it just wasn’t meant to be for me.
The rest of my group felt a similar way about the show so I didn’t feel too bad that I wasn’t in love with it. And we all agreed that it had so many things going for it but we just weren’t connecting with the story. But that’s the risk you take when you see so many shows. There’s no way for us to love everything and sometimes a show we really wanted to like just isn’t our taste. But fortunately more often than not we are pleasantly surprised by how great a show is that we weren’t expecting to enjoy.
When the show was done we were glad to see the craziness outside the theater was done so we could easily get to our cars. And I think that even though we didn’t love the show we all still had a great time with our night out. A big part of our fun going to the shows is seeing the show, but we also love having time to hang out together!
We’ve already gotten our tickets for the next season, but our group will be changing then. One member of our group is going to switch what night she will be going to shows so she won’t be going with us. But we found another friend who wanted to join in so we will have a group of 4 next season as well. But this season still has several shows left so it’s not quite time to change things up. And I know that there are a bunch of shows this season that I am so excited to see!
Our next show is only about a month away and I can’t wait because it’s one that I’ve been looking forward to since the season was announced!
Posted onApril 9, 2018|Comments Off on Getting Back Into The Groove (or Rediscovering My Strength)
I feel like for so long I’ve been saying I’ve been in a bit of a slump with my workouts. I had a couple of different setbacks that I just couldn’t seem to get over (both physically and mentally). But more recently it seems like things have been getting better and better. I don’t know if it’s because I’m getting better or my workout schedule is better for me, but whatever is causing it I’m just glad that I now feel so much more like myself.
Monday’s workout was at the Brentwood studio. I’m finding it so weird that it’s starting to feel less familiar to me even though I’ve been going there for almost 4 years! But no matter what, I’m comfortable there and I was happy to be back there for a workout. But the funny thing was that one of my Culver City studio coaches was subbing there so it was a mix of being at Brentwood and being at Culver City.
It was a 3 group class and it was power and strength based so we had shorter work but inclines on the treadmills. And I did go on the treadmill again. I did notice that the treadmill felt different from the treadmill at the other studio, but that’s just a quirk I’ll need to get use to. We had 2 blocks on the treadmill and the first block was all 75 second intervals and the second block was all 45 second intervals. We had push paces at inclines followed by base paces. I kept my inclines at 6% for all the push paces even though we were supposed to be increasing them because I was dealing with a little bit of hip pain, but just being on the treadmill to me felt like a win. Both blocks ended with a 30 second push pace to a 30 second all out pace and I did 8% as my all out incline.
Next I was on the rower where we had one block that started with a 600 meter row. Then we had squats and arm raises with a medicine ball before going back to the rower. We decreased the row and increased the medicine ball work each round. I was rowing pretty decently but I think I picked too heavy of a medicine ball because I was struggling with that work. But I got through 3 rounds before that block was over and I was over to the floor. The first block on the floor was lateral lunges with weights, pull overs, and weighted toe reaches. And the second block was lunges with weights, single arm clean to press with weights, and bench plank single arm low row with weights. For all my floor work I was using pretty heavy weights. I debated about going down to a slightly lower weight, but I decided it would be better for me if I took breaks and finished using the heavier weights than to have no breaks and use lighter weights. I definitely felt it after class in my arms (it was tough to blow dry my hair when I was home!).
Wednesday was a power workout and it was also a benchmark workout. We had the 200 meter row benchmark and it was the first benchmark workout at the Culver City studio. I’ve done the 200 meter row benchmark a few times but I was excited to get it done again to see if I could beat my previous record. The row was at the beginning of the workout so we would all be fresh and not tired while doing it and I felt like I was rowing harder than I ever had before! I was working so hard that my water bottle fell off the rower and I could feel the rower jumping as I was pushing off with my feet. Unfortunately, I missed my record by about 2 seconds, but I still felt pretty great about my 200 meter row.
After the benchmark workout, it was back to the treadmill where we had 3 blocks that were all pretty similar. We had a 2 minute push pace, a base pace, a push to all out pace, and then after a quick walking recovery one more all out pace. I started to have a little headache while on the treadmill and took some breaks because it was getting to me. I have no clue what brought on the headache and it ended up lasting the entire workout and the rest of that day. But I still worked hard on the treadmill and was doing my normal speed and inclines the entire time.
After the treadmill it was over to the floor where we had 3 blocks. We had upright rows using weights, front raises using weights, roll outs on the straps, lunges with the straps, running man, and hop overs. We also had a 45 second sprint row during the first block but I wasn’t going that hard on the rower because of my headache. But for the weight work I was using my heavy weights even as the reps increased during the block. And with my hop overs I was getting a bit more height while hopping which is tough for me to do with my hip issues.
Friday’s workout was an endurance day and I was a bit nervous about it. I feel like I’ve been starting over with the treadmill lately and I know endurance days are the toughest ones for me. But I was going to stick it out with the treadmill and just do my best. We had 3 blocks on the treadmill and they all had a pretty similar format with a 1 minute push pace, a 2 minute push pace, and a 1 minute all out. I kept my speed my regular speed and my inclines the regular inclines I use. And from time to time I did have to take breaks, but I worked through it. Toward the end of the longer push paces I sometimes had to go down to a slow walk (or jump onto the rails to drink some water), but to me that was still pretty good considering how nervous I was about having an endurance day. Toward the end of the treadmill time, I thought about trying to run again during the last all out pace. I knew it would be a minute long and would be my last thing on the treadmill for that workout, but right before that I was getting really tired and decided against it. My form would have been sloppy and I know that running when sloppy wouldn’t be the best way to get back into running.
On the floor we had 1 long floor block. We had hop overs, bench tap squats, plank punches, sit ups, and knee tucks. After going all of the floor exercises we had rowing. I was struggling a bit with the hop overs but I just broke it down and took breaks during that. And for the knee tucks we were supposed to be using the straps but I know I can’t really do those so I was using the ab dolly. After the first round it was a 600 meter row and my time was a bit slower than it should have been. But after the second round we had a 500 meter row and it was under the time we were supposed to be under which made me happy. I was getting through the exercises for the third round on the floor when class was done. I really thought I’d only make it through 2 rounds so to be onto the third boosted my confidence a bit.
Saturday’s workout was an endurance/strength day and it was the OTFEverest workout. While I had been doing great all week with my treadmill work, this workout scared me because I had not been bringing my inclines up that high. But I was determined to do my best and see what would happen.
I started the workout at my normal speed at 2% incline (which is what we all were supposed to start at). That felt pretty great since it’s lower than the inclines I’m used to using. I had it set in my mind that I didn’t want to lower my speed until I was at least at 10% since that is what I used to use as my all out incline. Every minute we went up 1% on the treadmill and until we were at 9% I was feeling pretty good. 10% was tough because it was an incline I don’t use that often, but I made it through that at my normal speed.
I did drop my speed down at 11% and again at 14%, but I was only .2mph slower than my normal speed which was much faster than I thought I could do at that high of an incline. It made me realize that maybe I needed to push myself a bit more on my inclines again. When we were starting to bring the inclines back down I bumped the speed up again at 13% and 10% and went back down at my normal speed from 10% on. And when we had our last 2 minutes, we were supposed to have a push pace and an all out pace. I didn’t think I could get my inclines up that high (my legs were feeling dead!), so I did 6% and 8% but got my speed up .2mph higher than I normally do for my power walking.
I didn’t quite hit my goal distance for the Everest challenge (I wanted to be at 1.4 miles), but considering that I did all the inclines and didn’t reduce my speed as much as I expected I was so happy! I also was thrilled I was able to bump up my speed at the end and it gave me some hope that maybe running can happen again soon.
When I was on the floor, I was so glad it was mainly upper body work since my legs were done after the Everest workout! We had 2 blocks on the floor and the first block was chest presses, hammer curls, and squats to shoulder presses. All of those were exercises with weights and I was using the heavier weights that I go with in my workouts. I had a bit of a tough time with the squats because of how my legs were feeling, but I took my time with those to make sure I didn’t have bad form. After those exercises we had a 250 meter row. My first attempt at the row wasn’t that great. But when I got back to the rower I tried to be steady with my speed and was able to do the row in 1:00.2. I have a goal of being under 1 minute but at least I was close. The second block on the floor was plank low rows with weights, triceps with weights, and leg lifts (the leg lifts were a killer after all the inclines on the treadmill!).
Obviously there are things I could have improved on with this past week of workouts, but I really am just so happy with how it went. I felt so strong after each of these workouts and I was sweatier than ever (and I see being sweaty as a good thing). I don’t know why I was finally able to push through but it was nice to not have so many doubts and excuses in my mind. I don’t know if this momentum will continue, but I really hope it will because these workouts gave me such a high!
Posted onApril 5, 2018|Comments Off on Continuing To Be Inspired By Podcasts (or Turning A Passion Into A Paycheck)
I’ve written about how much I love podcasts on here before. Podcasts are one of the main forms of entertainment in my life along with tv shows and reading. And while many of the podcasts I listen to are educational, there are some that I listen to just for how fun they are. But the best ones seem to be the ones that mix fun and educational.
I was listening to a new episode of a newer podcast, Bossed Up, yesterday and the most recent episode really stuck with me. Bossed Up is all about empowering yourself in whatever you do for work. For many people that means branching out on your own and becoming your own boss. But you can still be a boss at work even if you aren’t a boss by title. And a lot of this most recent episode was about feeling unqualified in a position you may hold at work. But what really connected to me was a brief part of that interview that discussed doing what you love for work.
They were talking about how sometimes you have to take chances and go for a dream job and other times you need to take a day job while you figure out what your dream job is and how you can accomplish it. You may need time to figure out how to turn your passion into a paycheck and there is nothing wrong with that. While some people are ashamed about having a day job while they are pursuing their dreams, pretty much everyone has to have a day job at some point. It’s extremely rare to not need to have a way to make money between jobs at least for a little bit of time.
I’ve never been ashamed to have day jobs. I’ve talked about them on here before and I’m always happy to talk to other people about what I do for work to support myself while I’m pursuing acting. But at the same time, I do feel like I’ve been settling in my day jobs a bit. I’ve gotten into a relatively comfortable space where I know what I need to do each day and I’m good at doing them. But things aren’t in my control like how one of my day jobs had to cut back my hours significantly. And when that happens, I’m in a bit of a tailspin trying to get out of the situation and making sure that my budget isn’t totally screwed up or that I am struggling.
This podcast episode reinvigorated me and made me really think about what I want to do as day jobs while I pursue acting. I have no intention of leaving any of my day jobs soon. Even if I found another job to do, I’d try to find a way to keep my current jobs so I could have more money to put toward paying down my credit card debt. But I would love to transition my day jobs at some point in the future.
It would be nice to have a day job that I enjoy doing instead of just tolerating at times. While it’s nice to have a ton of downtime and I can goof off while I’m getting paid when there are no customers to help, it would feel amazing to feel productive and know that I’m working. But at the same time, I need a day job that is flexible and would allow me to continue auditioning and doing other actor related things. That is not an easy combination to find which is why I am so grateful in my current situation.
But maybe it’s time to think about what I could do on my own to support myself. I do have skills that I’m not using to their full potential that I know others would probably pay me to do. I need to be a bit more aggressive about those things and seeing who would hire me. And I probably do need to strengthen those skills a bit more as well so I could be at the top of my game. But with those skills, I’m still a bit unsure on how to combine them or how to market myself to try to find work doing that.
While creating my own day job right now probably isn’t going to happen, that doesn’t mean I should just sit back and keep doing what I’m doing. I should work on building those skills and seeing what jobs are out there that are similar to what I could do. I might need to start networking myself with those skills (instead of just marketing myself as an actor). And maybe there is something I haven’t thought about or considered that I will discover and it will take me down a path I never imagined.
I really have no clue what my future holds, but I do know that I want to be more proactive and try to make some more changes to my life and my work situation. And I’m so grateful that I was listening to a podcast episode that inspired me to get my butt in gear about this.
Posted onApril 4, 2018|Comments Off on A MOVE Mixer (or Learning More About What I Can Be Involved In This Year)
I’ve said it over and over again on here, but I really just want to make sure I’m as involved in my union as possible. I am taking advantage of different opportunities that have come my way and I’m so glad that I am not feeling as nervous about being involved as I was before. And I’ve been adjusting my schedule so I have more free time to be involved in different events and that’s been making me really happy too!
Last week I went to the MOVE LA mixer event. MOVE stands for Members Organizing Volunteer Efforts, but besides organizing volunteer events they have some really great panels and social events. They are the group that organizes the NextGen Performers committee too. This mixer was a great chance to hang out with friends, get some information about past events, and learn about the events that are coming up over the next few months.
When I got there, the first hour was the social time. They had food there (I wasn’t feeling so great so I wasn’t eating anything) and I got to see who else was there. Several of the MOVE committee members are friends of mine and it was great to have some time to see them. Even though I saw several of them a few days prior at the Union Working event, we always seem to have only a few minutes to catch up at various meetings so we take what we can get.
After the social hour, it was time to sit down to have the educational part of the evening. First, the background of MOVE LA was shared with everyone and what historically the group has done. Past volunteer events were shared and it was also discussed about how the group supports other unions in their strike efforts (like the grocery workers have gone on strike). Also, the big volunteer event of helping the post office with the Stamp Out Hunger Food Drive was shared because that event is coming up soon.
Next different committee members came up to talk about events and panels that either just happened or will be happening soon. There have been panels on diversity, sexual harassment and prevention, voice over, producing your own work, and other topics that are important to actors and the acting community. And coming up there will be panels on diversity in abilities, supporting broadcasters, editing demo reels, and other things like that. I probably should have taken better notes so I could share the upcoming things with you all, but I was just listening and taking it all in.
The best way to get information on the different MOVE LA events is to follow them on social media and to sign up for their email list on the website.
Many things they do are just for union members, but there are some opportunities that are open to everyone. But I’d only recommend getting on their email list if you are a union actor (you also might have to be signed into the website to access the link to sign up for the email list).
But even if you aren’t a union actor yet, it’s so good for people preparing to join the union in the future to know what opportunities and groups there are for them when they do join. I didn’t know about MOVE or other groups when I joined the union and I really wish I had. There was so much time wasted not taking advantage of these opportunities but I think I’m making up for lost time now. Again, I’ve said this several times but being educated about the union and union opportunities is something I am striving for myself and trying to get others to do as well.
The education part of the mixer was a little over an hour and then it was time to be social again! I loved that this mixer really was a social mixer along with an educational evening. It’s the perfect blend of having fun and learning and I got to meet several new people to MOVE who are interested in similar opportunities as I am. I’m not always a fan of networking, but at events like this one it didn’t feel as networky and was more like just getting to know like-minded people who I will probably see at future events.
I couldn’t stay too late after the education part of the mixer, but I did make a round saying goodbye to everyone I had met that night before heading back to my car. And I know that I will be at another MOVE event before I know it!
It’s time for me to end one monthly challenge and start another one! I’ll admit that last month’s challenge didn’t go the way I expected it to go at all, but I’m really excited about this month’s challenge.
Last month, I challenged myself to work on daily stretching. I knew I need to work on doing more stretching because my flexibility was getting worse lately. Also, I’m stuck sitting at a computer for so many hours a day and I need to make sure that doing that doesn’t start to affect my body. And there are so many different resources out there to help get more stretching into your life. So I figured this would be the perfect challenge for me.
Well, it really wasn’t. At least not in the way I really hoped it would. I had looked at several different guided stretching apps and picked out the one that seemed best for me and had the stretches I would want to work on. And I did that for the first few days of the month and it just wasn’t working for me. Some of the stretches were hurting me more than I thought and the flow of it just seemed off. There was nothing wrong with the app, it just wasn’t for me.
I tried looking at a few other apps and other guides online, but I never found anything else during the month that seemed to be what I needed or wanted. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t work on stretching all month. I did work on it, but I never found a good practice for me that I could keep going. I haven’t given up yet, but it’s something that I haven’t been able to successfully build into a habit that I have been able to do with so many other monthly challenges.
After having a not-so-great challenge last month, I wanted to do something that I was excited about this month. At Orangetheory, they are doing a marathon challenge for the month of April. The basic idea is to track your mileage during all your classes in the month and there are different distances you can try to get based on if you are a power walker, jogger, runner, biker, or strider.
I thought about doing this challenge officially through Orangetheory but realized that it probably wouldn’t be right for me. It should have been fine going to different studios since we are responsible for tracking our own mileage. But since I know that when I’m nauseous I don’t want to be walking on the treadmill I would be split between the power walker and bike marathon challenges and might not be able to accomplish either on its own. Also, I’m thinking about trying to do some minimal running again if my body feels up for it so I didn’t know how that would affect doing the power walker (13.1 miles) challenge.
So I’ve decided for my monthly challenge this month I will be doing my own marathon challenge and tracking. One of my blogger friends, David, does this every month on his blog so I’m kind of taking the idea from him too. I have no clue if I will get to 13.1 miles power walking and I’m pretty certain that I won’t be at 105 miles on the bike unless I only do the bike the entire month (which I am not planning on doing). But it will be interesting to see how many miles I do accomplish between the treadmill and bike this month.
I’ve set up my Ink+Volt monthly calendar for this month with tracking stickers. I put stickers for each day that I’m planning on working out so I can fill in what distance I get in class.
I’m going to be taking photos of the treadmill and bike during each class so I have it to fill in later. The only time I’m a little concerned is if we have a run/row day since I will need to remember to take a photo every time I switch over to the rower. But I think that should be easy enough to do and the worst case would be needing to ask the coach after class if I could look at the workout plan so I could see what distances I was supposed to do during the run/row to figure out how many rounds I did. But that’s not that bad of a worse case scenario.
I think this is going to be a fun challenge for me. I really don’t know how many miles I’ll get. I have an idea of what I can do based on past workouts and how many workouts I have this month, but I don’t know how many days will get up being bike days. And there are always other factors that come in to make my distances on the treadmill longer or shorter. No matter what, it will be interesting to see what the totals are at the end of the month.
While it would have been fun to do this officially at the studios I go to, I think doing it on my own is a good substitute considering my circumstances. And maybe this will help me stay more motivated when I’m on the bike because I will want to be getting as much distance as possible to make sure my total at the end of the month is impressive!
Posted onApril 2, 2018|Comments Off on An Up And Down Workout Week (or I Love Having Workout Buddies)
This workout week didn’t start as the most ideal for me, but this is sadly becoming the norm for me. While I’ve been dealing with the nausea issue for a while now, it’s not necessarily getting easier to manage and I’m really trying to figure out what to do to make things the best possible for me. But fortunately, this past week of workouts ended on a high note and that’s what I’m trying to focus on going into this week.
Monday’s workout was a bit rough for me. I had spent all day Sunday being very nauseous and in a lot of pain. I was hoping that I could sleep that feeling off, but Monday morning when I woke up it wasn’t that much better. But I also know that I need to go do what I can in a workout and that’s what I went into class thinking. It was a 3 group power class, so that did work a bit to my advantage because everything was in short bursts.
I started on cardio and was on the bike. For the entire block, we had the same plan. The runners had a .25 mile run (on the bike it was 1 mile) and then we had 15 power jacks with a medicine ball. I wasn’t able to do the power jacks so I did squats to a shoulder press. I took it easy on the bike and the mile took me a bit longer than it normally does, but that might have been due to me keeping the resistance low. When a wave of nausea hit me, I stopped the bike and let it pass. But I just tried to keep going when I could and while it wasn’t my best cardio workout, it was better than staying in bed and doing nothing.
Next I was on the rower where we had a partner type row. Everything was split into 4 minutes and in the first round one person did a 400 meter push row while the other person did a base row. When the 400 meter partner was done, they told the other person and they did the 400 meter push row. We went back and forth until 4 minutes were up (it was about 2 rounds). Then, after a 1 minute rest we went again for 4 minute but it was a 300 meter push row. My push and base rows were pretty similar because of how I was feeling, but I only had to take 2 breaks to let nausea pass for the entire rowing time so I was very happy with that.
The floor was where I really struggles. The main part of the floor work was doing pull ups on the straps, sit-ups, and burpees with step ups. But between each exercise we had a variety of things we had to do like pop jacks or pop squats. All the in-between exercise moves were ones where we had to be parallel to the floor and I knew I couldn’t do that. I was terrified of getting sick in class and putting my body into that position made me feel awful. So between each exercise I did squats instead. I also wasn’t able to do burpees for the same reason but I didn’t want to do more squats than I was already doing. Since I do lunges instead of step ups, I just did lunges in that section. I felt like I wasn’t able to do anything in the floor block and I felt horrible about it. I also had more waves of nausea while on the floor than I did in any other section. I did my best, but I know that it was far from what I normally could do.
Wednesday was another morning workout at the Culver City location. My nausea hadn’t gotten much better since Monday so I knew it would be another day trying to take it easy. It was an endurance, strength, and power workout and we didn’t switch between blocks. So that means I was on the bike for about 30 minutes at the beginning of the workout.
I kept my bike resistance at a similar level to what power walkers had for their inclines on the treadmill. So for the base pace, I was at 4 resistance since I’m normally at 4% incline. I kept that going for pretty much all the blocks including the strength one where it was supposed to be like hills. There were plenty of times that I had to stop biking to drink some water and wait for the wave of nausea to pass, but it didn’t feel as disappointing to me as it did on Monday. Maybe I’m just getting used to having to deal with this?
Once I was on the floor, I tried my best to do everything I could. The first block on the floor had shoulder presses, tricep presses, plank work, and crunches. I couldn’t do the plank work because of how I was feeling, but I did everything else. And with the weighted work I tried to use the heavier weights that I’m used to using. The crunches were a bit tough because I would feel nauseous when I was laying on the floor, but it seemed to pass quickly and I just took it slow with the crunches. The second block was squat thrusters and pull ups on the straps followed by 200 meter rows. My rower was being a bit weird so I have no idea what time I really finished my 200 meter row, but I think it was under a minute.
And the last block on the floor was one I was a bit worried about. It was going to be a 5 minute row for distance. I know I can row for 5 minutes and I have been getting better on my endurance rows. But considering how I was feeling, I had no clue how I would do. The 200 meter row was tough enough and this was going to be about 5 times as long. So I set a goal of just rowing without stopping and hopefully getting more than 1,000 meters which was the minimum we were supposed to get to. I focused on keeping my stroke rate steady and not letting it get too high. I did have some minor waves of nausea but I didn’t stop rowing. I just closed my eyes and focused on my breathing and fortunately they weren’t as bad as some of them that I had earlier in the workout. And when 5 minutes was up, not only did I row for the entire time without stopping but I also hit my distance goal!
Friday’s workout was a strength day and I spent my cardio time on the bike again. I wasn’t necessarily feeling nauseous when I got to the workout, but I’m glad I was cautious because it ended up being another workout where I had waves of nausea. While on the bike, I did my resistance at the same number that the incline would have been as a power walker on the treadmill. Most of the time I was between 4-8% and that worked for me. But I was much slower than I normally am on the bike because of how I was feeling and I needed to take several breaks to get myself back together. It was a bit frustrating because I’m trying to not go easy on myself on the bike and that’s really what it felt like I was doing. But I also have to just remember that I was dealing with situations that were a bit out of my control and I really did try my best.
On the floor, I did try to focus on using heavier weights. In the first block we had chest presses, reverse flys, and toe reaches and I used heavier weights for all of those exercises. We also had 250 meter rows and while my time was under what we were supposed to be under it wasn’t that great of a time for what I can normally do. The second block was squat twists using the straps, tricep kickbacks using the weights, and straight leg raises. Leg raises are one of the things that I have always struggled with because of my hip, but I was able to take breaks while doing them and managed to get them done with pretty decent form! And the final block was a row block where we had 3 rounds of 1 minute all out rows with recovery in-between. I probably should have reset my rower for each of the 1 minute all out rows, but I just let it keep going so I didn’t really know what I did in a minute. But I tried to keep my wattage up and my stroke rate down the entire time so I think I did pretty well.
Saturday’s workout was one that I was excited for. Since the Culver City studio opened, I knew that some of my friends who live near me would be doing some workouts. But until this past Saturday, we hadn’t had a chance to be at the same workout. I was so excited to have friends with me in class because that’s something that I know makes my workouts better. I was debating about using the bike again, but I took a treadmill and a bike card so I could decide which way I wanted to go.
It was a power day and on the treadmill we had 5 blocks that were all under 5 minutes. I figured I would try to see how the first block went on the treadmill and go over to the bike if I felt like I was feeling sick. But I also had my friends next to me and that was extra motivation. All of the treadmill blocks had a similar pattern of being a push pace, a base pace, and a push to all out pace. I was using my normal speed and inclines and even though I had to take breaks in every single block, I managed to use the treadmill for the entire first half of class! I was pretty proud of myself and it was a nice mental boost for me.
The floor block was one long block that was an add-on type of workout. We were supposed to start every round with burpees, but because I was still feeling a bit off I did squats and push-ups instead of burpees. Then we had a 200 meter row. Each round, between the burpees (or squats and push-ups for me) and the rower we added on another exercise. We had plank low rows, bicep curls, high rows on the straps, and plank jacks. I managed to get through everything and was doing the last 200 meter row when the block was done and I felt amazing! It was a really hard workout, but I think that it was the hardest I had worked in a while. And I do think that it had something to do with my friends being there supporting me and pushing me to keep going.
While this past week of workouts was a bit of a struggle in the beginning, I felt so incredible at the end of the week and I hope that the feeling continues into my workouts this week!
I’ve been on my new dosage of Vyvanse for a couple of months now. Even though I built in a transition period to the new dosage (as well as taking all my medication in the morning instead of splitting it up), I struggled for a long time with the dosage. I was feeling some similar symptoms to what I had when I started like a racing heart rate and some light-headedness. And when I had the phone call check up with my therapist, we discussed these issues since I was feeling a bit concerned.
My therapist encouraged me to keep taking the new dosage because I might just be having a longer adjustment period than I’m used to. While I’d like to say that I trusted her opinion, I felt pretty certain that she was wrong and I would need to go back to a lower dose. But I told her that I would give it until I needed to refill my prescription before I judged anything too much. I wasn’t that far into my prescription when I had that phone call, but I also knew that there could be an adjustment period and I had to see what would happen. Because I am monitored while taking Vyvanse, I knew that even with the side effects I might be feeling I wasn’t doing anything harmful to my body. I just had to see if things would eventually feel right again with me.
The other day I finished the first pill bottle and moved on to the second (my prescription is split into 2 bottles because of how many pills there are in a single refill) and I realized that I’m halfway through trying this dose before needing a refill. And I haven’t had any side effects for a little while either. It’s so weird because I really can’t remember the last time I felt my heart race issues unless I look at my workout blog posts and see when I wrote about it. Time just kind of went by and I didn’t even think about it.
I do think that maybe some of this could be because I’m not working out in the afternoons anymore, but at the same time that doesn’t necessarily make sense because I take my medication in the morning. But maybe since those morning workouts are even earlier, the medication might not be totally in my system yet? I don’t know and I also don’t know why I’m trying to justify anything. I should just be really happy that I’m feeling more normal again.
I think I was so focused on the side effects for so long because I was paranoid that I really didn’t think as much about how much this might be helping me. Of course, I am reminded of that whenever I have a day I don’t take it (like if I have the rare chance to sleep in). It does take the edge off of things and I still have days where food is the last thing on my mind. I struggle on those days to remember to eat even though I do have reminders to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner. But it’s all baby steps and I’m working on it.
I’m really so happy that the adjustment period seems to be over now. I didn’t express on here how worried I was about it and how often I wondered if I was making a mistake changing things up the way I did. I had so much trust in my old therapist and it was tough to give that much trust to someone new. And having issues with my medications was making that trust even tougher for me to give. But even without fully trusting my doctor, I had to just suck it up and believe that eventually it would get better and she knows what is possibly best for me.
Thankfully now I know that she was right (even though she was willing to admit if she was wrong and readjust things for me if needed) and that I’m over the hump I was dealing with. I want to get back to trying to run but I also know that I’ve lost so much progress over the past few months. I probably will need to start over with my running with running for 30 seconds to a minute at a time. But I know that I have built up my running endurance in the past and I’ll be able to get back there again eventually. And hopefully with the stress of the side effects out of my mind now, I can focus on other things in my life. There are more important and more fun things I’d like to have occupying my mind and now I can do that again without feeling like I’m being fake and ignoring a possible issue.
I know I’ve said this so many times, but I’m seriously so grateful that I’m a part of the Union Working group. Every time I’m at a meeting, I always walk away with so much knowledge and a better understanding of what is happening in my industry. There is so much information out there and it can be tough to figure things out on your own. So to have a group that can explain things and help you figure out what you want to focus on is so important to me.
And the meeting this week was another one full of information and I left feeling so empowered and ready to get to work on things. While we did have some of the standard discussions that we have at all Union Working meetings, the focus of this meeting was a mock W&W session. W&W stands for Wages and Working Conditions and these are meetings that the union has leading up to contract negotiations. These meetings are formal events for union members to come and discuss what changes they want to see in the next contract. We have these meetings for all different contracts but the next one coming up will be our commercials contract.
I have not attended a W&W meeting before. I have wanted to but I’ve had a few things stop me. Sometimes, my work schedule just doesn’t work with when the meetings are. I really can’t take time off work right now to attend, so if there aren’t meetings that are when I’m not working I can’t go. But also I’ve been scared to attend. It seems a bit overwhelming and while I want to be more involved in the union attending these meetings seems like a huge step. And I’m aware of how silly that probably sounds because I can always attend a meeting and just observe. I don’t have to propose any changes but I could hear what others think need to change.
But I think the team at Union Working get that the meetings can be overwhelming so they created this mock W&W session. Because W&W sessions are closed to the public (and our mock session was closed to all but paid union members), I can’t share too much of what was discussed. But I can share that we went over how to present an idea at a W&W, the rules for discussion and debate, and the feedback we may get when presenting an idea or debating one so we don’t get thrown off if it happens. All of these things were really great to learn about because you never know when you might be inspired to present something at a W&W and you want to be prepared and able to maximize your time that you are allowed to speak.
We didn’t get to do too many different ideas in our mock W&W session because the one that was presented was something that so many people in the group wanted to discuss. We didn’t have the time limits that you would have in a real session and some people were given opportunities to rephrase what they were saying to make sure they followed the guidelines of how we need to present them. I didn’t speak during the mock session, but I was paying attention to everything that was happening. And the more I listened the more I realized that all my fears about attending a W&W session in the past were silly and that I should have attending them before.
I still can’t guarantee that any sessions will be during times that I’m not working, but I’m going to make a much better effort to look into it so I can hopefully go at least once. I still don’t have anything I want to say about changes that I think should be in our next contract, but I do what to hear what others think. It’s also a great time to get even more educated about the current contract because when people propose a contract change, one of the first things that is discussed is what the facts are about the current contract. There is always a chance someone is proposing something that is already in the contract so you would learn about that. To me, so much of being a good union member is being an educated union member.
While I wasn’t feeling physically the best at the meeting, I’m so grateful I was there. There were so many things discussed that I am glad I got to hear about. I left feeling physically low but mentally on a high note. I know that there were some great ideas that others brought up that have given me things to think about. And like I said, the biggest thing to me is being as educated as I can and I know that being in a room with so many incredible people really are helping me understand as much as I can.
Posted onMarch 28, 2018|Comments Off on Remembering To Do What I Like (or Weird Disappearing Time)
I’ve written about being over-scheduled in the past, and this is kind of the same idea. But at the same time it’s different and it’s weird. But somehow it feels like my time is disappearing from me. And with that disappearing time, I also feel like I’m not doing as many of the things that make me happy each day when I know there is time to do them.
I seem to be losing my Wednesday and Friday afternoons. Those used to be my workout times, but lately I’ve been working out in the mornings and those afternoons are free. But somehow that time it going by without me realizing it and I’m losing that time. I need to be a bit more intentional with how I schedule my time so that I don’t end up sitting at my computer going down a YouTube or Buzzfeed rabbit hole after work and wasting those hours. I’ve had weekend days like that as well when I get up at 7am and then all of a sudden it’s 7pm and I have no clue how I spent my day.
And part of the disappearing time is realizing now that my routine is a bit different that I don’t have the same time to kill that I did before. When I was driving to the Brentwood Orangetheory location after work twice a week, I had so much time in my car. I spent about 30 minutes in my car driving there and driving home would take between 1-2 hours (I know that sounds crazy, but since I work from home I figured this was my commute). During that time in the car, I would listen to podcasts. I usually would get through at least 1 podcast each time I drove to my workout.
But now that I’m not going to that location when the drive would take that long (going on Mondays is a pretty fast drive), I don’t have that time that I’m listening to my podcasts. And that wouldn’t be a problem for that many people, but since I listen to over 50 podcasts they were starting to pile up! I’m not using those afternoons to listen to podcasts while I’m home, so that time to listen has gone away. So I’ve had to make more of an effort to listen to podcasts since the time that I used to listen to them wasn’t really there anymore. So now I’m trying to spend my time during work between customers listening to the backlog and I’m finally starting to get close to being up to date on them again.
I know that everyone has this problem and seems to lose track of time, but because I’m really trying to be more mindful of so much in my life I want to work on making this not happen as often. There will always been random days every so often where the day will be wasted watching lots of random things on Netflix. But I want those to be rare and not happening as often as they have been recently. The example of losing my afternoons and then also losing podcast listening time shows exactly what is happening. I’m losing that time, but I’m also losing the time that I used to spend doing something that makes me happy.
I love listening to my podcasts and I need to dedicate time to listen to them. In the same sense, I need to make sure I dedicate time to doing other things I enjoy. I do read pretty much every evening before going to bed, but I should make an effort to read more often. Reading before bed is only for a little bit of time because then I fall asleep. But I get so much pleasure out of reading and I should be doing it more throughout the day.
Scheduling fun things doesn’t necessarily sound like the most exciting thing, but I really do need to work on it. I think scheduling it helps me find the balance between being over-scheduled and under-scheduled and helps me plan where I have empty time in my schedule that I might want to fill with something else. While there is always time I want to use to watch TV, I don’t want to spend an entire day just watching junk. I’m working on only watching shows that I have recorded so that I limit how much TV I’m watching and I also can stop mid-way through a show if necessary (I do make an exception to this for news).
I’ve also realized lately that I haven’t been doing as many things from my happiness checklist as I was doing before. I’ve thought about maybe changing some of the things on the list, but all 10 of the things still are things that make me so happy when I do them. And I haven’t thought of something else that makes me just as happy or happier to replace them with. So instead of changing them (which is what I’ve done in the past), I am just trying to be more intentional and trying to make the effort to add them back into my schedule. I probably need to set some reminders on my phone or add them to my calendar so I don’t forget, but having reminders isn’t a bad thing.
Hopefully the combination of realizing I’m losing time to doing nothing and I’m not doing as many things that make me happy as I should that I can start planning better and that will just make me feel happier and not that I’m wasting time in lots of aspects of my life.
Posted onMarch 27, 2018|Comments Off on Working On Some Second Chances (or Trying To Stay Open Minded)
It’s been about a year since I really got back into online dating and it’s been a crazy year! I still don’t understand what has changed that has gotten me more dates in the past year than I ever have had, but I’m grateful for it. I know it sounds bad that I’m learning about myself through dating, but it is helping me figure things out and I’m glad for that. And lately, I’ve had the chance to work on being more open-minded because of some experiences with dates. I used to joke that I was the queen of first dates because I didn’t waste my time with a second date if I didn’t think there could be anything there. And I’ve realized now that maybe I needed to be a bit more open to possibilities.
A little while ago, I went on a date with a guy who checked off all the boxes that I should want in a guy. He was kind, he was looking for something toward being serious (I’m looking for something serious, but I’m also not trying to jump into a relationship so I’m fine with things taking time), and he was really interesting. But there just wasn’t chemistry there and I was feeling horrible about it. I should have really liked this guy and I didn’t. And the voice in the back of my head was telling me that I shouldn’t expect anything better so I should just go with it.
I know now that I do deserve someone who I want to be with, but I also know that chemistry isn’t always something that you always feel. So after some discussion with a friend, I decided to give the guy a second date because I figured that I needed to see if it was just first date awkwardness. In the end, there just wasn’t chemistry there and I felt much better saying that I didn’t think there should be a 3rd date. I still had a bit of guilt because I feel like I should have liked him, but I also know enough now to not try to force something that doesn’t feel like it’s working.
There’s another guy that I went out with at the end of last year. We had a great first date, texted for a little while after, and things just ended. I had no idea why. But we were still matched on the dating app we connected on so last week I decided to reach out that way (instead of texting). He immediately responded and we went out again. He said he never got my texts and I joked that he must have blocked my number or used a burner number with me. But when we were together I tried texting him again and for some reason my texts weren’t always appearing on his phone! He would text me and it would be fine, but only half of my texts were showing up for him. It was so weird! But I know that he wasn’t deliberately ignoring me now. And again, this was because I gave him a second chance.
Of course, I don’t give everyone a second chance. There was a guy who called me delusional for thinking I could be an actress. There was another guy who was flirting with a different woman at the bar and introduced me as his friend (and couldn’t understand why I would be upset he would do that on a date). And there was another guy who didn’t show up for our date and then tried to convince me to come to his place to meet him there (I refused because I knew that it wouldn’t lead to anything good and I wasn’t going to put myself in a risky position).
There are some times where I’m torn about if I should give someone another chance and that’s when I’m so grateful for my friends who can be amazing sounding boards for me. There was someone I was seeing for a few weeks over the summer and things fell apart. He basically disappeared and when I tried to give him another chance he disappeared again. I told him I wasn’t interested in seeing him anymore but he didn’t seem to get that. He messaged me once a month for the next few months and I always responded with telling him that things were done. It had been a few months since he messaged me, and recently he reached out to me again. I wondered if I should give him another chance, but my friend helped me realize that I had already given him multiple chances and he screwed those up. And he couldn’t seem to respect my decision to not want to see him again, so if I went out with him again I couldn’t expect respect from him in other ways.
While I am having fun with all the randomness I’ve encountered with dating and I do feel like I’m making up for lost time in a way. But I’m really hoping that sooner rather than later I meet someone who will be more than just a few dates. I do want to be in a relationship and that’s not easy to find when you do know what you want. But I’m going to try to keep being open-minded and giving guys more than one chance and hopefully that leads to something good for me soon.
And Another Season Of Musicals (or The Next Season Will Be A Bit Different)
