Category Archives: Fun Stuff

Continuing To Get Better (or Still Finding Wins In My Workouts)

I’ve been using the bike for my workouts for a while now and I’ve finally started to be able to find my groove as far as challenging myself goes. I’ve had a few different ideas with challenges on the bike and this past week I was able to try them out in my workouts.

I was feeling excited for Monday’s workout with how things went the previous week. I did still have to fight the little voice in my head telling me to try the treadmill because I knew that I shouldn’t. But it was extra tempting because not only was it a power day (which means short push or all out paces), but it was a 3 group workout so the time on the treadmill was shorter than a 2 group class.

I ended up started the workout on the rower and the rower and treadmill workout were actually the same. There were 5 little blocks within the block that were push to all out paces with walking recovery in-between. All of the all out paces were 30 seconds and the push paces started at 30 seconds and went up 15 seconds each time. And for the rower, we did push to all out rows with recovery rows in-between. That meant we would be rowing for 14 minutes. I would have loved to have been able to do that without stopping, but that just wasn’t going to happen. I did limit my breaks to when we had recovery time, but I did have to take a break during each recovery. I had a goal in my head for how many meters I would have liked to have rowed (which was much lower than what I know I could do normally), but I didn’t make it to that goal.

For the treadmill time, I was on the bike and all I wanted to do was see if I could go a majority of the time without needing a break. I stuck with my normal resistances for the push and all out time and during the recovery time I was at my base resistance. Doing that made me realize that I probably could work on increasing my resistance on the bike. I haven’t been doing that since these levels were what I had been using before I was sick, but before I was sick I wasn’t working on the bike as often as I have lately. So this is proof that I’m getting stronger even if my endurance is still down a bit. During the 14 minutes on the bike, I only took 2 breaks and that was because I needed a drink of water. I’m not coordinated enough to drink water and pedal at the same time, but maybe I’ll get there one day!

And the floor was one long block with pull ups on the straps, squat swings using weights, lunges, and squats using weights. I was using my normal weights for the weighted work but it was a little bit of a struggle. I know that I push myself harder on the bike to prove that I’m getting better and that is causing my floor work to not be as strong. I could try doing the floor work first, but to be honest I love my routine and I really don’t know if I want to change it. But even with the floor work not being excellent, it was still good and I was using what I used before I was sick. Using my normal floor work weights is awesome and I don’t have to prove to myself right now that I could do better than that. I do need to keep working on increasing my weights to get stronger, but it doesn’t have to be my focus while I’m also focusing on getting my endurance back.

Wednesday was Global Running Day and Orangetheory had a workout designed for that. It was a 23 minute run for distance and as much as I would have liked to have seen if I could get anywhere close to what I was able to do in the past, I knew this was not meant to be my first workout back on the treadmill. So I decided to use this workout to see what I could do as far as endurance goes on the bike. We also had distance goals to hit that corresponded to various ribbon colors, but based on what the distance was I pretty much knew even before starting what ribbon I’d be at so I wasn’t too worried about that. I just wanted to see how long I could be on the bike before taking a break.

Since it was 23 minutes straight, my original idea was I wanted to wait until at least 10 minutes went by before taking a break. I felt pretty certain that I could do this as far as needing a breathing or coughing break, but since I need to take a break to drink water too I wasn’t totally sure I wouldn’t need water in the first 10 minutes. But since I set that goal in my head, I made it just past 10 minutes before taking my first water break. I went another 8 minutes before my next one. And the entire 23 minutes I never needing a breathing or coughing break. I was really happy with how well I did and when I finished I totally forgot that I set the resistance to be at my push pace resistance at the beginning and never changed it! So I did the entire thing as a push pace!

The floor was 3 blocks and I knew that they would be a bit tough after the cardio. The first block was using the mini-bands for plank work as well as hammer curls plus bench sit-ups to squats. The second block was a 4 minute distance row. I did get over 800 meters which was what we were supposed to at least get to, but I know that in better circumstances I could have done much better. And the last block was upright rows using weights, ab dolly knee tucks, lateral arm raises using weights, and rollouts using the ab dolly. The last block got really tough and I was coughing a lot, but I just took the time I needed to recover before moving on with the workout.

After a big endurance workout on Wednesday, I was glad that Friday was a power day. I’ve got it in my head that I’m going to stick with the bike for at least a little bit longer so even though this could have been a good day on the treadmill I was on the bike. Every block was 4.5 minutes and there were 4 blocks on each side.

The first 3 blocks on cardio were a similar format with a push pace, a base pace, and then a push to all out pace. The difference was that the first push got shorter and the second push and all out pace got longer each block. It was pretty easy for me to not worry about taking a break during each block since they were short and I tried to keep my water breaks between blocks short so I wasn’t taking too much time away from pedaling. The last block was 4 all out paces with walking recovery between and that was the block that I struggled with. I was having a pretty horrible coughing fit during that entire block and it wasn’t getting better with drinking water. I did have to take breaks during each recovery to try to get whatever was caught in my throat out, but whatever it was wasn’t leaving and I finished cardio still coughing up a storm.

The floor was also 4 blocks, but the last block was a rowing one. The first block was single arm snatches with weights and speed skater lunges. The second block was pull-ups on the straps and sit-ups with rotations. And the third block was high rows on the straps and bench hop overs. My coughing was continuing during the floor and I was having to take breaks to let it pass. I started to cough so much I was getting a bit nauseous, but it was mild compared to what I normally have to deal with. The last block was rowing with the same pattern as the treadmills with the 4 all out rows with recovery rows in-between. My rowing was ok, but it wasn’t that strong and my form was getting a bit sloppy. I was trying to slow down to make sure my form was better and not worrying about the distance, but I just struggled. It wasn’t the best way to end a workout, but I was glad I got through it considering how much difficulty I had with all the coughing and the issues with breathing.

Saturday’s workout was endurance, strength, and power based and I had my friend Elizabeth in class with me. We hadn’t been in a class together for a while so it was nice to have her there. And she decided to try using the bike with me so that was an added bonus for me since it’s sometimes a bit lonely being alone on the bike. There were 3 blocks on the treadmill and the first and third blocks were both challenges for distance. Both blocks had some push and all out paces plus a 3 minute distance challenge. For the distance challenge, I used my push pace resistance and was just able to beat my distance the second time I did it. I biked further during this class than I had in any other class and that was awesome. I’ve gotten used to the patterns I have on the bike so I can see when I’m making improvements.

On the floor, we had 3 blocks as well. The first two blocks had a focus with using the BOSU ball. We had running men, kneeling shoulder presses, crunches, plank jacks, sit-ups, and hip bridges using it. I wasn’t able to use the BOSU for the plank jacks, but I did for everything else. I usually don’t try doing hip work on it because I like having more stability for hip work, but I tried it and while it did take me longer to do the set I was able to do it. The last block was a 750 meter row which I did just under my time goal and then chest presses and rollouts using the straps.

Overall, this past week of workouts had a lot of successes for me. There were moments where I had moments of wanting to skip the bike and test myself on the treadmill, but I’m glad I didn’t because I still struggle with getting over this cold. And being forced to use the bike for as long as I have is really giving me an idea of goals to have when I use the bike in the future. I am looking at reorganizing how I track workout records on my own and I think I really do need to add a bike category so I can track my progress.

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Having A Book Nerd Moment (or The Little Things That Make Me Smile)

I’ve shared on here before about how I am a giant book nerd. I’ve loved to read my entire life and I never seem to be able to get enough reading. Thank goodness for the library because if I had to pay for all the books I read I would be spending thousands of dollars a year. I don’t read as much as I would like to every day, but I do read every single day at least in the evening before bed. But there are also days where I spend the entire day lost in books.

Because I read all the time, I read lots of books every year. Some of them I read and forget about because they aren’t super memorable, but fortunately most of the books I find are ones that connect to me somehow and they stick with me. I revisit books I’ve read previously from time to time because I always find something different in them. I also love the comfort I get from reading a familiar book when I’m not having the best day.

I do have some fun stories about book twists that have shocked me or books that made me cry when I wasn’t expecting it. But most of them are normal stories. But there has been one story that sticks out in my head when I think about funny stories about reading a book.

Years ago, when trying to find a book to read I would wander bookstores and find books that stick out to me. I literally was judging books by their covers, but it seemed to always lead me to fun books that I might not have picked out otherwise. I could spend hours looking at all the books and taking notes on what I wanted to read. And one of the books I found because the cover looked interesting was “Body Movers” by Stephanie Bond.

I brought this book with me to Tahoe to visit my parents (back when I had to pack my suitcase with actual books instead of having my Kindle) and I very clearly remember reading that book on that trip. I remember being close to the end of the book and reading on the couch while my dad was reading next to me. And without giving much away about the book, it ended on a cliffhanger and I was not expecting that. I had no idea that this was the first book in what was going to be a series and I couldn’t believe that I would have to wait to read the next one. I think it was about a year until the next book would be released.

I’m sure I looked crazy to my dad because I was ranting about how it sucked that this book was so awesome and then it ended on a cliffhanger. I couldn’t get over it and as soon as the next book came out I immediately got it and read it. Then I got the next one when it came out and the next one. Until last week, there were 9 books in the series (there were 8 main books and then a novella that fit into the story but wasn’t furthering the plot). And every time a new book came out, I was prepared that there would be twists and cliffhangers but that made me happy because then I knew there would be another book coming out.

Last week, the most recent book in the series came out and of course I read it right away. I was sucked back into the story right away and it was difficult to put the book down. Even that night when I was reading at bedtime I couldn’t stop reading. I really try to not stay up all night reading, but sometimes I can’t help it. And this book was one that was keeping me up.

And even though I had read so many other books in this series, when this book ended on a huge twist I was shocked. It was after 1am and I screamed out loud “are you kidding me?!?!?”. Of course, I immediately worried that I woke up one of my neighbors because I screamed pretty loudly. But I think everyone who lives near me was sound asleep and I didn’t wake them. I did have a good laugh because of how strong my reaction was. That’s clearly a sign of how good this book series is and how connected I am to it.

I couldn’t believe the twist and now I want to go back and reread all the previous books because I can read them with a different perspective on the story. And of course now I’m just waiting for the next book in the series to come out to see what happens next. While reading is one of my favorite things, to have a reaction like I did with these books is special and unique. And that just makes me so happy!

 

Checking Out Face Haus (or Making Skincare More Routine)

I’ve been on quite the self-care kick lately. This is a good thing and I’m glad that I’m doing it. I wasn’t necessarily neglecting myself before, but doing all these things does make me feel better. And while feeling better is a very important thing, I also want to look better which is why a lot of my self-care has been skincare stuff. Pretty much all of the skincare things I have been doing have been at home, but this week I had the chance to change that.

My friend Michelle is an esthetician. Previously she worked at Burke Williams and I went there for a facial with her last year. But I hadn’t done one since then. It wasn’t that I was necessarily putting it off, but going to Burke Williams was kind of a full day experience (or at least a half-day). Not only would you go there for whatever treatment you were getting, you also would wander around and use the different amenities there. It was awesome to do that, but it felt like a special treat.

But now Michelle works at an amazing new place called Face Haus. The idea of Face Haus is that it is a skincare bar where you come in for your facial and then go on with your day. It makes facials much more affordable and something that feels like a part of a routine instead of a splurge. I was so excited when Michelle got the job there and I couldn’t wait to come in to see her! And I had that opportunity to do so this week before the Santa Monica location (where she works) officially opened. I was so excited about this and knew that my skin needed it.

Walking in, it was immediately a totally different vibe. Everything is open and bright as opposed to spas where it is dark and in a private room.

At first I was curious about the idea that everything was one big room, but the more I thought about it the more it made sense. If I was coming in for skincare and just skincare (compared to going somewhere for a day of relaxation), why should it be in a cave? This way just made sense for the idea of Face Haus and the concept that getting a facial should be a routine part of life.

I also loved that with the no-frills set up the price was no-frills too! All of the facials there are $65 and there are add-ons that you can pick if you’d like. Some of the add-ons include peels, microdermabrasion, eye treatments, and LED light treatments. Since this was before the official opening, the staff there were working on getting all the kinks worked out and I was able to get a lot of add-on treatments. I trusted what Michelle felt like I needed and went with all her recommendations.

She started with the standard facial by cleansing my skin. I wasn’t taking notes during my facial so I’m sure I’ll get the order of the next few things wrong, but I believe next was my first add-on of microdermabrasion. I’ve never had that before and she started on the lighter setting so I could get used to the sensation, but it didn’t hurt at all so she could work with the regular setting. Next I believe was cleansing again to get any of the leftover debris off of my face. And then I had the LED treatment.

I really had no idea what the LED treatment would be like. They use a combination of 3 different lights. The blue light kills bacteria that causes acne, the red light is anti-inflammatory, and the amber light helps skin produce more collagen and elastin. The treatment was about 20 minutes but Michelle was sitting next to me and we were chatting so the time went quickly. And of course I made her take a photo of me getting the treatment because I wanted to see what it looked like. And it was way crazier looking than I expected!

It was bright when I was getting the treatment, but nothing too crazy. And they do offer goggles to help block some of the light, but then the light is also blocked from helping the skin around your eyes. I decided to start the treatment without the goggles and see if I needed them, but I never did.

After the LED lights the rest was pretty much the standard facial steps with a mask, moisturizer, and oxygen blast. My skin felt incredible when it was all done (I didn’t take an after photo because it was a bit red from all the treatments like it always is after a facial) and I felt really refreshed and relaxed. The facials take about an hour, but I thought it would be much longer with the add-ons, but it was still pretty much only an hour. That is perfect to fit into a regular day without needing to do it on a day off!

In an ideal world, I would get a facial every month. I’m going to try to do that but for sure I’m going to go at least every 3 months. I want to make sure my skin continues to look amazing and I know that I need to do more than what I can just do at home. I almost started to compare this to going to the dentist. You brush your teeth every day but you still go to the dentist for a deep cleaning. I wash my face every day, but I should go to a professional for a deep cleaning too! Of course, getting a facial is 1000% better than going to the dentist.

If you are in LA, I highly recommend going to Face Haus! If you can go to their Santa Monica location, make an appointment with Michelle! But they also have a location in the valley and they are opening more around the city. And I have a feeling that people are going to love this concept so much that they will be expanding even more!

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The Color Purple (or Such An Empowering Musical)

For the next few months, it seems like I’ll be going to a musical every few weeks! The way this season is set, each musical is having a shorter run than what we’ve seen before. So each new show comes pretty quickly. But I’m not complaining. I love my nights at the Pantages and they are such a bright spot in my life.

And this week, the musical that my group went to go see was “The Color Purple”.

I read the book and saw the movie when I was in high school, but I don’t think that I read it or saw it since then. And high school was a little while ago for me so I was a bit worried that I wouldn’t remember enough of the plot and would get lost trying to figure out the story. Sometimes I can get so lost in watching a show that I don’t pay attention to the dialogue or songs and then get pretty confused. I didn’t want that to happen with this show. So I looked at a quick summary of the book online before we met up to get dinner before the show. And a few things seemed familiar to me and there were several plot points and characters that I had forgotten about, so I was glad that I did this.

Our dinner was pretty casual at Green Leaf Chop Shop and somehow we ended up being really early for things! A lot of times we are getting to the theater 5-10 minutes before the show should start, but this time we were inside 30 minutes ahead. So we took our time getting to our seats and continued to catch up while we waited for the show to start.

Even though I wasn’t too familiar with the story since it had been so long since high school, I thought I remembered little bits and pieces of it and that seemed to be confirmed by reading the summary online. I thought this was going to be one of the sadder musicals we saw because I remembered it being a very sad story. But I was pleasantly surprised that it wasn’t the case!

While there are a lot of sad and upsetting parts of the story, that is really not how the musical felt. Obviously when you are watching the characters being hurt you are sad, but it seemed like more often there were moments of overcoming those issues and that was so positive. There were so many empowering moments in the show and the entire audience was buzzing with excitement when those were happening. It was just not at all what I was expecting but exactly what I needed to see.

With feeling down and working on trying to get back to myself, I know that I do need to work on feeling empowered and not a victim to circumstances. And that’s exactly what the characters in this musical were doing. Their circumstances were very different from mine, but that didn’t matter. Having the examples of watching people do this gave me stuff to think about and try to see where I can have that same attitude in my life.

I love when something that I have scheduled to do or attend just happens to fit in with exactly what I needed to see or hear. It doesn’t always happen that way and more often than not the musicals we see are just a fun night out. And there’s nothing wrong with having a fun night out because I know that they are important to my mental health. And I can forget to have fun sometimes and having musicals scheduled help me to not forget about it. But when the show we see hits me much deeper and has such a great impact on me, it feels so special and precious to me. And that’s exactly what “The Color Purple” did for me and I’m so glad that this was the musical we had this week.

Our next show is 3 weeks away and it will be a musical that I’ve seen before, which will be fun. Even though I’ve seen a lot of shows recently, it’s been rare for me to see something that I already have seen. And seeing a show for a second time (especially when it’s a different cast and production) is really fun for me because I love to see how things are made unique with that combination of cast and crew. But I did realize that the next season (which starts this fall) will be so many shows that I’ve seen at least once before and I’m getting super excited for that to happen!

Finally Gaining Endurance (or Finding Little Victories)

Mentally, I’ve been ready to get back to the treadmill in my workouts for a while. But physically, I’m just not there yet. I feel like I could do it, but then on the bike I realize that I’m still struggling a bit. I know this all comes down to my endurance. Between taking time off for being sick and the fact that I haven’t really done any running since the beginning of the year, my endurance is significantly lower than where it was before this all happened. Fortunately, I think it’s still much better than it was when I started, but I have to work on getting it back and that’s what I focused on this past week.

Even though Monday was a holiday, I still wanted to do my same morning workout. The workout schedule was a bit different so my class was a little earlier than I’m used to, but since I’ve been going to earlier classes on Wednesday and Friday it was fine. The class was pretty full (even for a 3 group class), but it was nice to see a lot of the regular Monday morning people.

The idea for this workout was kind of choosing your own adventure for the treadmill and rower. You had 3 different options to choose from on each side to work on during the 15 minutes that we were there. For the treadmill, it was 3 different distances to choose from with different recovery times. I was on the bike and I just decided to try to bike the entire time with my push resistance. I was doing a bit better as far as how long I could go without needing to take a break, but I could still tell that I was lacking in endurance. But biking for that time did feel good and I wasn’t feeling too tired by the time I was on the rower.

The rower had 3 different distances to choose from with jumping jacks. The longest distance was 2000 meters and you only had jumping jacks when you were done. The other distances were shorter but had jumping jacks before repeating the row. Just like with the bike, I decided to just try to row the entire block to see what I could do. Normally, I could do 2000 meters in under 10 minutes, but this time I couldn’t even get it done in 15 minutes. I was taking breaks every 200-300 meters to catch my breath and to cough. I would have loved to have completed the row (even though I didn’t want to do jumping jacks), but I’m glad this format at least let me work on rowing for the entire block without worrying too much.

On the floor, everything we had were timed exercises. In the first block, we had lateral arm work with weights and high rows on the straps. We had 3 rounds of those before moving to the next block where we had plank rows and triceps on the straps. Again we had 3 rounds of that before the last block which was 1 minute of goblet squats using weight. It was a tough workout but I was glad that I had to opportunity to work on my endurance in class.

Wednesday’s workout was a strength based class. Before I knew it was a strength class, I debated about trying the treadmill but ended up on the bike again since I didn’t want to try working with inclines. There were 3 blocks and the first 2 blocks were a similar pattern. We had 1 minute hills (the first block was increasing hills and the second block was decreasing hills) with 1 minute base pace at no incline in-between.

I stuck with my usual plan of having my resistance on the bike at the same number as the incline would be as a power walker and that was working out really well for me. I managed to do the entire first block on the bike without needing to take a break which was a big accomplishment! The last block was 1 minute intervals between base and push paces and I was using my normal resistance. But where I excelled was during the 30 second all out pace at the end of each block. I went even higher with my resistance than I normally do! It wasn’t easy, but I really wanted to do something that challenged me on the bike and doing something for 30 seconds seemed to be a reasonable amount of time.

The floor was also 3 blocks. The first block was upper cuts, deadlifts, and tricep work using weights. We were encouraged to use a weight for the deadlift that we never have before. Usually for deadlifts I’ll use 20 or 25 pounds depending on how many reps we need to do. But I decided to go for it and I tried using 30 pound weights. The only struggle with that was that my hands were hurting a bit with the heavier weight, but my legs were totally fine with it. And the second block was plank work, squat swings with weight, and alligators on the straps. For both of those blocks, we had 3 rounds of the exercises and then a 300 meter row. Both blocks I just finished the row as time was done. And the last floor block was knee tucks, ab roll outs, and hip bridges. With the hip bridges, again I used a weight I never had before and it was fine. So I really did prove to myself that I really should be using some heavier weights from time to time.

Friday’s workout was a mix of endurance, strength, and power. And again I was on the bike to see what I could do. For the cardio, we had a lot of push paces with base paces between. I really did try my best to keep pedaling through the entire block, but I did end up having to take a break during some of the base paces. I did try to get back to pedaling as quickly as possible so I wasn’t skipping the entire base pace so that was improvement. But it did remind me of how much further I did need to go before I was back to where I was.

On the floor the first block was skater lunges, high rows on the straps, and push-ups. I did to the push-ups on my toes instead of my knees because they were lower reps and that felt pretty great. The second block was a 2 minute row for distance and then bicep curls, front raises, and more push-ups. I managed to row the entire time without stopping which did make me happy. And the last block was squats, sit-ups, and more push-ups. This time I did have to do the push-ups on my knees because we had more reps, but that didn’t bring down how happy I was that I did some on my toes.

Saturday’s workout was an endurance one and I really was feeling like I was going to do great work on the bike. It also ended up being a run/row, but it was a bit less traditional than most run/rows. The first block we had a 1/2 mile run (which on the bike is a 2 mile ride) and then we rowed until time was called. I managed to do the entire biking without stopping and even though I was only on the rower for about 2 minutes I rowed without stopping. The second block started with a 800 meter row and then back to cardio until time was called. I finished my row in under 4 minutes and did it without stopping. And the last block used the distance we rowed in the first block and the distance we did on the cardio in the second block to create our own run/row format.

I was so happy with how well I did with my endurance during the workout. I know that the blocks were a bit shorter so I didn’t have to bike or row as long as I’ve had in other classes, but it’s still a victory to me! And with how frustrating it’s been lately with things, I’m taking any victory I can get. But even though I did some great work, I could still feel my lack of endurance at times. It took much longer for me to catch my breath and I felt like I was working much harder than I know I was. But it was still improvement and I’m hopeful that it will keep getting better.

On the floor we had 2 blocks. The first block was low row with weights, skier swings with weights, and Y raises on the straps. We also had different plank work to do after each round. We had plank swings, plank side crunches, and plank hip dips. And the second block had flys with weights, front raises with weights, and sumo squats plus the plank work. I didn’t go too heavy on the weights because the reps were higher plus I was still catching my breath from the cardio work. But it was still easier than it had been in other recent workouts so I focused on that.

Overall, I was really happy with how this past week of workouts went. I know that getting my endurance back is still going to take more time, but it’s getting there. I’m guessing I’ll probably still be using the bike for another 3-4 weeks (I could possibly use the treadmill sooner, but that will be when I typically feel nauseous). But this past week really helped me to refocus my mindset on the positive and it felt much less frustrating than it has previously.

Continuing To Work On Myself (or More Reflective Challenges)

I have to admit that the beginning of a month is pretty exciting for me. I used to hate it because that is when so many of my bills are due (and then my bank accounts look so low), but now I look forward to it because of my monthly challenges! It has been tough to pick challenges sometimes, but I do enjoy them and I feel like they have made me a much better person since I started doing them.

Last month my challenge was to do daily intentions/affirmations. I wasn’t exactly sure what to call them when I started the challenge and I still don’t know exactly what to call them now. But every morning I would write something down to set the tone for the day. Sometimes it was a reminder that I was going to get through something tough. Sometimes it was just saying that I will get over my cold soon. And there were other times where it was just a reminder that it was ok to feel what I was feeling or it was ok to do nothing.

Almost every single morning I remembered to write something down either before work or before my workout. There were only a few days that I forgot but it was always done within the first few hours of my day. And it really did help put me into a better mindset with a goal in mind. It was something to focus on from the start of my day as opposed to my gratitude list which is a reflection of how my day went. And it really was a positive change in my month even with how tough things were for me.

And considering how tough the last month was for me both mentally and physically, I’ve decided that my challenge for June is to work on getting back to my normal self. I’ve already started to work on this, but I really want to have a month of refocusing and reconnecting. I still feel a bit out of sorts with a few things and I want to take the time to work on fixing them. I just want to get into a better and more positive mindset and the best way to do that is to work on me.

I know this is another abstract challenge to have, but I think that because I’ve felt disconnected that it’s exactly what I need. I need to just have a month to work on figuring out what I want and what I need. It’s not something that is really measurable but it’s exactly what I need to do right now. I’ve been knocked down a bit lately and my self-esteem took a hit. I want to work on fixing that and seeing what things I can do to make sure that it doesn’t happen again or if it does I can come back quickly from it.

But I’ve got a big list of things that I want to work on that are a bit more concrete. I need to work on food and meal planning (even if I’m not eating breakfast). I want to do more cooking and that fits into the meal planning too. I have worked on cleaning my house but it’s also led me to realize how much more cleaning I need to do. I want to do an inventory of the clothes that I have right now. I totally forgot about a pair of yoga pants that I got last year and almost ordered another pair thinking I didn’t have one already. I don’t want to make that mistake even though I could always return clothes (I just know myself enough to know that I probably won’t). And there are some projects in my house that I’ve been meaning to do that I just need to get done.

All of my monthly challenges have been things to make me a better person, but I think this one is the most personal one I’ve done so far. It’s also the first one where I don’t necessarily have action steps for everything I want to do. I have my list of things that are more concrete, but for the mental things I really don’t know what I will do or what it will take to get me back to being me. But I am excited to see what happens and what new things about myself I learn as I work on this. I know that whatever ends up happening that it will be a positive change for me and that when I’m writing about this again in a month I will have only good things to share.

Food Scheduling (or Trying Out New Things)

I’ve written about it so many times on here, but food issues are my biggest ones. It’s been a lifelong struggle and I’m guessing that it will be something I struggle with the rest of my life. I do hope that it will get easier for me one day, but I’m realistic in the idea that this will never go away completely.

I’ve struggled with what to eat, how much to eat, and when to eat. And when I started taking Vyvnase, the struggle of when to eat became bigger than ever. When I started taking it, I could go a very long time without remembering to eat and then it would backfire. I would realize that it was already dinnertime and I was starving. Forgetting to eat was a new issue for me and I really didn’t expect it to happen. So planning to remember to eat became very important to me.

For the past year or so, I’ve had an alarm to go off to remind me to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And it’s been very useful, especially to remember to eat lunch when I’m working. I don’t always eat full meals (especially for breakfast or lunch), but at least getting something into my stomach helps me not feel famished when I do remember to eat.

But when I was sick recently, I was barely eating. For most people, when they are sick and not eating they lose weight. For me, somehow I gain weight. I’ve never been able to explain it, but that’s how my body works. But because of this, I’ve always been fearful of not eating enough in a normal day and causing a weight gain. I know it’s crazy because I’ve done a super low calorie diet before and lost weight, but it’s still a fear in the back of my head.

When I was better, I assumed that I would want to get back to my normal eating schedule. But I was having issues with it. The biggest issue was eating a small breakfast before my morning workouts. I’ve always had a half of a banana or some peanut butter before a workout because I felt like I needed it to keep me from feeling nauseous. Lately even that much food was too much so I had some chocolate milk before a workout and that seemed to be fine. But now even doing that doesn’t feel right to me. So I’ve been doing my morning workouts on an empty stomach.

I know there is a lot of debate on if you should work out on an empty stomach or not. I’m not too worried about the studies because I need to do what is right for me. Some people say they can’t work out as hard if they don’t eat something first, but I’m still working my way back and rebuilding my endurance so there is really no way for me to know if it is affecting me or not. All I know is that I’m not feeling worse without eating right now.

I do try to eat something as soon as I get home from a workout, but I’ll admit that I don’t always do that. But even if I do, I’m basically eating 2 meals a day right now (there have been a few days where it was 1 meal, but I know that I ate too much). I’ve never thought that eating less would be ok with me and not trigger something, but at whatever phase this is of my life it does seem to not cause any issues.

I have friends who do intermittent fasting and love it. I don’t want to commit and say that this is what I’m doing, but I do know that most of my eating is taking place in a 6-8 hour period which does fit into the intermittent fasting plan. I’m starting to do a bit more research on it and how it works with eating disorders because the last thing I want to do is have this backfire soon and make things worse for me than what they were before. If it looks like this will be trouble, then I will go back to making myself eat the 3 meals a day. But I really hate to make myself eat something when I’m not hungry just because of what time it is.

There is a very good chance that this is just a short phase, like all my other food things have been. But I do just have to keep on trying what seems to be more natural and simple for me and hopefully something will work and stick soon. But I think the biggest lesson I’ve learned from all the different things I’ve tried is to not feel like I need to stick 100% to any plan or to feel like I’m stuck doing something. I have to allow myself to be flexible because that is the only way to figure out what I will be able to do and maintain.

Memorial Day Weekend (or Not Really Doing Much)

This past weekend was Memorial Day weekend and I really didn’t do that much. I did have my show at the Bowl (which was awesome!), but beyond that I didn’t make plans. When there is a 3 day weekend where the day off is Monday, I really don’t have extra time off. My normal day off is Monday so when everyone else has that day off as well it just makes stores more crowded for me. It’s a weird feeling when so many people ask what I will be doing with my day off and I just have to explain that I don’t really have a day off even though I do. It’s just not an extra day off.

In the past, I’ve usually had a party over the weekend since other people were enjoying having a 3 day weekend. This year, my friends who normally host a party had other things they had to do so they couldn’t host. I was a bit disappointment about that because I love their parties and getting to see all my friends, but of course I understood that they just didn’t have the time (and it is a big time commitment for them to always host the parties). I thought about trying to organize something at my house, but I just wasn’t feeling too motivated to do it. I also have such a small house that it can be tough to have too many people over.

I’ll also admit that in the past I didn’t really think too much about the idea of “celebrating” Memorial Day. I just thought of both Memorial Day and Veterans Day as days to thank those who have fought for our freedom and to recognize their service. But more people have been posting lately about the difference with the two days and what they mean. Memorial Day is about remembering those in the military who died while fighting for this country. The idea of celebrating about people who have died is a weird feeling. I know that people say we should be enjoying the freedom we have to do what we want and that is what those people died for, but it’s still a weird idea.

So between not having a party to go to and my feelings about what it means to celebrate this day, I really didn’t feel like doing much. This was a bit of an odd choice since I was just saying how sick of being home and doing nothing I was. When you are stuck at home sick and not able to do anything it can feel so boring. But when you choose to stay home and not do much that can feel amazing. And I was in the mindset that I just didn’t want to do much and that was fine with me.

Monday was also just a day to do all the things I normally would do on a Monday. I had a workout, I had errands to do, and I had to get stuff done to get ready for the week. I didn’t want to take that time doing things that I wasn’t really feeling like doing when I knew that it would affect how my week went. I did end up having a casual coffee date on Monday, but I also made sure that I didn’t neglect all the other things I needed to do.

Even with all my friends who were excited to have an extra day off work, it seemed like a lot of people were in the same mindset as I was. So many people were saying how they were just spending the day at home catching up on whatever they needed or wanted to catch up on. So I wasn’t alone in my feeling that this past weekend wasn’t really one to make a ton of plans or do try to do as much as you could. In a weird way, it helped me feel less alone being alone at home knowing that so many other people I know were doing the same thing.

Even with my weird feelings about celebrating this past weekend, I do agree that it is kind of the unofficial kickoff to summer. I haven’t made that many plans for this summer and I’m starting to try to think about what I’d like to do and start planning more. I know how quickly the summer will go by and before I know it it will be my birthday and the summer will feel like it’s almost over. So I do want to take some time soon to work on making some plans and coming up with ideas for what would be fun.

Sorry if this post is a weird one or a bit depressing. As I’ve written about on here recently, things have been a bit weird for me. I’m working on getting things back to my normal but it hasn’t been as easy as I had hoped. And I think my mixed feelings on the weekend really didn’t help me much get into a better mood or mental viewpoint. But I’m hoping to be back there soon.

A Night At The Bowl (or Combining Several Of My Favorite Things)

The Hollywood Bowl doesn’t officially open for the season for a few more weeks, but when it’s not the regular season they do still have lease events. I don’t usually go to the lease events, but when I see something I’m interested in I try to get tickets. So when I heard that they would be doing a screening of “Beauty And The Beast” with live orchestration and singers, I knew that would be a fun event to go to. And of course, I asked my Disney friends if they wanted to come with me and they did! When you mix Disney, musicals, and going to the Bowl you know it’s going to be a great time!

I was in charge of getting our show tickets and found seats in the first row of a section in the very back. I don’t mind sitting in the back but getting seats at the front of a section are the best! You have a concrete barrier in front of you that is perfect to use as a table for the food you bring with you. And we all got lots of random food to have a pretty epic picnic there!

We took the Bowl bus to get there, but because we are used to going on weekdays when there is rush hour traffic we got to the Bowl before it was open! We waited outside the security area for a little while before they started letting people in. This was the first time I got there before we could go in and it was a nice change from feeling rushed to get to our seats. We had to go all the way to the top to get to our section, but they had a few different photo spots and we found one that didn’t have a line so we took advantage of that.

When we got to our section, we were all so surprised about how empty it looked! I’ve never seen it look so empty unless I’m there when they don’t have a show and it was nice not feeling squished as we got to our seats and sat down.

We had over an hour before the show started so we took our time getting out all the food we brought for the picnic and enjoying the food. We had way more than what we needed, but it was all so delicious! We had various types of chips and garlic dip, goat cheese, olives, fruit, veggies, and desserts. We tried to only take out a few things at a time, but we ended up just stacking most things on the barrier in front of us so we could all pick and choose what we wanted. It ended up being perfect and we were all just so happy sitting back, enjoying the food, having good conversation, and getting excited for the show to start.

This show was similar to how “The Little Mermaid” Live was done. The movie played but the orchestra on stage played all the music. And whenever there was a song they had celebrity singers playing the various characters. But what was different and really amazing with this show was how they utilized the venue. There is a border around the stage area and they did projection mapping on that area that matched what was on screen in the movie.

It was so fun to see what they added around the stage and it really did add to the movie. It was just a nice special touch that made this event even more unique that it normally is. This is already one of my favorite Disney movies and getting to watch it in this setting was awesome. And whenever they had the celebrities singing it was even better!

There were a lot of fun and different touches that they did with the songs. You could tell that the cast had a lot of fun and since there are different puns and double entendres they were taking advantage of that. There were a few added jokes that I missed, but all the ones that I caught were funny.

While I’ve seen the movie recently, for some reason I thought there were more songs and the movie was longer. When intermission happened I was pretty surprised that we were already halfway through the movie. And there weren’t as many times that the singers were out and singing live. There were still a lot of times to get to watch the singers and have it be more than just a screening of a movie, but it was much less than I expected. It’s not a bad thing, just something that surprised me (and my friends agreed).

When the show was done, it was the typical madhouse to get down to the area where the buses get us. There is a time limit to how long you can take to get to the buses, but I have yet to miss one. And the worst case is that we miss it and get an Uber or Lyft to take us back to where we parked our cars at the bus pickup. But even with all the crowds and making a stop to go to the bathroom before getting to the bus, we were there with plenty of time.

I don’t have any other tickets for the Bowl yet this summer, but I’m hoping I’ll make it back to at least one or two shows this summer. There are so many times I just get tickets last-minute and I think I need to do that more often. I have lots of evenings free and I could go get a cheap ticket to watch one of the jazz or classical shows. It’s just something different in my routine that makes an evening feel a bit more special.

But I’m glad I made it out for this show because it was a really great night out and helped to get me to feel more like me. I’m slowly busting out of this funk that I’m in (more on that later this week) and I’m glad that I had this show to help out with that!

It’s Mayhem Time (or Working My Way Through Some Tough Workouts)

This past week of workouts was a themed week at Orangetheory. It was called Mayhem and the idea was the week would be all really difficult workouts. It seemed similar to what Hell Week is like and I was really excited about it. You needed to complete 4 out of the 6 workouts to get a water bottle and I thought I’d be able to do that. But then I realized the week was Sunday-Friday and not Monday-Saturday. So unless I switched up my days I wouldn’t be able to get the water bottle. As much as I love free swag, I just wanted to keep my normal schedule. So while I wasn’t working toward the 4 workout goal for Mayhem, I still had my 4 workouts and I wanted to work hard and do my best!

Usually my Monday workouts are at the Brentwood studio and they are the one class I go to each week that has a 3 group workout. But because of some scheduling things, I couldn’t do my normal Monday class. I needed to be ready earlier than normal. And in the past when I had things like my improv class, I would go to the class that was an hour earlier. But now, I figured I might as well go to the Culver City studio for the workout. Not only is it closer but it’s actually 5 minutes earlier than the class I would have gone to in Brentwood. So it was a win for me.

The workout was called Commotion and it was a pretty crazy workout. I started on cardio and it was almost all rowing. We had decreasing rows with so many squats in-between each round of rowing. There were 5 rounds (starting at 500 meters and going down to 100 meters) and then we had a 6 minute run for distance. I did it on the bike at my normal base resistance. The goal was to get back to the rower to start working increasing rows, but I only had about 30 seconds after completing my 6 minutes on the bike left so I stayed on the bike instead of wasting the time switching to the rower.

On the floor we had 1 long block that had increasing exercises. The first round we had bicycle crunches and hip bridges. The next round we added on chest presses using the straps. The next round added on triceps on the strap. The next round added on lateral raises with weights. And the last round added on front raises with weights. I managed to get through all of those rounds and made it to the bonus round which was 100 reps of running men. I didn’t get through even 30 reps before time was done, but I was happy that I got to that point in the workout!

Wednesday’s workout was called Epocalypse and it was a partner workout. Not only that, it was a 3 partner workout so it was like I got my 3 group workout in that I missed on Monday! There were 2 long blocks and at all times the rower was the person in control of the switches.

The first block had the rower doing 5 rounds of a 200 meter row and 10 squats (a total of 1000 meters and 50 squats). While they worked on that the person on the treadmill ran with increasing the incline 1% each minute. I was on the bike so I increased the resistance by 1 every minute. And on the floor we had burpees, seated knee tucks, plank work, and pull ups using the straps. I was a bit worried about it being a partner workout because I was feeling a little nauseous during the workout, but it seemed like my group was pretty equal in the time it took us to complete the row and my group didn’t seem to mind that I might have been a little bit slower.

The second block had the rower do a 500 meter row, 50 squats, and another 500 meter row. So it was the same distance and number of squats as the first block just with a bigger emphasis on endurance. The treadmill (or in my case, bike) person went for distance with increasing each minute. And the person on the floor it was high rows on the straps, rollouts on the straps, pullovers using weights, and sit-ups to squats. With both of the blocks, we pretty much were out of time after all of us completed the row. So we all got to use each part of the room twice (once in each block) and that seemed to work out well for me.

Friday was the last Mayhem workout and it was called Disturbance. It was a strength based workout and while I was starting to feel better from the cold I got, I had some pretty bad nausea that morning. But I figured I’d find some sort of balance for myself and would do my best.

On the cardio, as it’s been for a while (and will probably be for a while longer), I was on the bike. And I decided to do my best with doing the resistance changes. I had my resistance level at the same number as the incline would be for power walkers. The highest resistance I got to was 10 (which is sometimes what I use for my all out resistance) but most of the time the resistance was not that much higher than I was used to. The pattern was to do 90 seconds of incline work, a minute at base pace, 90 seconds at a push pace, and 1 minute at a base pace. We repeated this pattern 4 times to get through the 23 minute block. I was having to take my breaks to let the nausea go by, but since this is something I’m used to it wasn’t too bad.

On the floor we had 5 exercises and a row. Each round we dropped one exercise (so the second round had 4 exercises, the third round had 3, and so on). We had power jacks, speed skater lunges, low rows on the straps, plank work, and sit-ups. I was really slow on the floor work because I was feeling pretty awful by that point in the workout. I was taking breaks between exercises and in the middle of working through one exercise. But I figured that just taking my time and getting through what I could was the best I could do. I made it through 2 rounds (and did a 200 and 400 meter row) and was starting on the 3rd round when time was done. I really would have loved to have made it to the 5th round, but it just wasn’t meant for me that day.

Saturday’s workout was back to a non-Mayhem workout, but that doesn’t mean it was an easy one! It was another strength based workout and again I was on the bike. Usually strength workouts mean inclines on the treadmill (and extra resistance for the bike), but this time the treadmill had no inclines so things were much easier for me.

We had 3 blocks on the cardio side which all had rounds of push paces to base paces. I kept my push pace resistance at 6 and my base pace resistance at 4 which is what I normally do. My nausea was still pretty bad so I was taking a lot of breaks during the cardio. I do the bike on my nauseous days because the bouncing caused by walking on the treadmill makes me queasy. But this time, even the movement on the bike was making me feel that way! But I tried to pedal as hard as I could when I was going to make up for the time I was taking breaks and got my distance to be what I usually can get to when we have the first half of class on cardio without switching.

The floor had 3 blocks, but the middle one was more of a row block. The first block was lunges, high rows using weights, and toe touch ab work. I used 15 pound weights for my lunges and rows and a 12 pound weight for my toe touches. I’m really trying to use weight during ab work and I was glad I went for a slightly heavier weight for that. The second block started with a 300 meter row. We then had front raises using both weights and the mini-band. The band went around my wrists and I had to keep my arms apart (pulling against the resistance of the band) while doing front raises. I had my weights a bit lighter than normal but that was because of the extra work from the mini-band. And the last block was uppercuts and squats with weights. I was struggling at the end of the floor work, but it went better than my cardio work did.

I’m so glad I did the Mayhem workouts that I did. I would have loved to have done 4, but considering the circumstances I had there was no way for me to do that. But it did get me back into a good groove with my workouts and pushing me in the limited ways I can be pushed right now. And it got me very excited to see what will happen during Hell Week this year! I really want to get back to more of my normal workout stuff (including running) and I feel some extra motivation to try to see if I can get back there by October now!