Tag Archives: thank you

Unexpected Birthday Present (or I Love Having Technology That Works!)

I was not planning on asking for anything for my birthday from my parents this year. They helped me get my car at the beginning of the year so I didn’t feel right asking for anything else. I still feel a bit guilty about my new car, but I know that they are happy to help me out. But there was no way I was going to tell my parents I wanted something for my birthday.

I usually get a check from my grandma for my birthday, so I was thinking about what I wanted to use it for (she prefers that I get something fun with it and not use it to pay bills). I was talking with my dad before my birthday and mentioned how my iPad was pretty much dead at that point. It was taking hours for it to turn on and for me to open an app could take close to 30 minutes. And that day, I couldn’t get it to turn on no matter what I did. I didn’t think my iPad was going to be usable anymore.

The iPad I had was about 5 years old, which is a pretty long time for a piece of technology. I used to use it much more often, but over the past 2 years I used it less because it was getting so slow and several apps that I like to use wouldn’t work anymore. But I didn’t want to get a new one because at that time I knew I’d spending a lot on a new laptop and technically my old one still worked.

I’m aware that this is totally a first world problem. I don’t need an iPad, but I like having it and it is something I do work on. But I think I also knew it wasn’t a necessity to get a new one so when my old one pretty much died on me I wasn’t sure if I wanted to get a new one for my birthday. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it would be the perfect thing to use my birthday check toward.

This call with my dad was just one of our usual phone calls and the iPad thing just happened to come up. And he agreed that getting one for my birthday would be a great thing to use my check for. I didn’t think much more about that conversation after we hung up. But then the next morning, I got an email from my dad with the subject “Birthday Surprise”. And my dad wrote that he and my mom had discussed it after he got off the phone with me and they wanted to get me my iPad for my birthday!

I was totally not expecting this and I even called my parents to tell them that I didn’t tell my dad about my old one dying to try to get them to buy me one. I kept asking if they were sure they wanted to get it for me because I was considering my car my birthday present (and I’m totally considering it my Hanukkah present for this year too). But my mom said that they wanted to do that for me and I couldn’t express how grateful I was for it!

I was originally going to get the new one before my birthday, but there were a few delays in me getting it. But the delays worked out well because I was able to make a decision on which one I wanted to get (after getting input from a friend who works for Apple and from my parents) and I realized that they had a back to school special for their educational discount (which I get for being a substitute teacher). Not only would I get the normal discount, which is about $20 off, I would get a free pair of wireless Beats headphones! So this past week, I headed over to the Apple Store near me to buy my new iPad!

It was a pretty fast purchase since I knew exactly what I wanted to get. I just had to decide on what color I wanted (I went with gray to match my laptop). And I’ve spent the past few days making sure I get everything set up on it before I try to erase all the data off of my old one (if I can get it to turn back on again). Just like with my laptop, it’s a crazy difference between the old one and the new one. Things are working again, I can get work done so much faster, and I know that it is going to make me more productive.

If I could figure out how to do all of my day job work from my iPad, I’d do that when I go out-of-town. But for right now, that’s not possible due to the phone calls I have to do for my box office job. But I think I might actually be able to run everything else from it which is a nice idea. The iPad can use a keyboard so if I figure out how to do it all (or if I don’t have to take phone calls for my box office job), I think it will be pretty easy to work with it and I think that will be a nice feature for me when I get to travel again.

This present was so unexpected but beyond appreciated. I am so grateful to my parents for wanting to get me this because they easily could have just gotten me nothing for my birthday which is exactly what I was expecting. And I love that now whenever I use my iPad I’m going to think about this awesome birthday this year and how amazing my parents are!

Happy Birthday To Me (or So This is 33)

Today is my birthday! As you’ve seen from past birthdays, I’m a big birthday person. I love celebrating other people’s birthdays and I love celebrating my own. So my birthday being today is a pretty special day for me. I’ll be writing posts later about how I celebrate my birthday (as usual it will take place on a couple of different days). But today I just wanted to reflect on turning 33.

I have no fear about being 33. I’m not really where I thought I’d be by 33, but this is the first year it’s really not bugging me that much. When I was in high school, I figured by now I’d be acting full-time, be married, have kids, and have a pretty stable life. Technically right now, none of that is true. The only thing that is close is the stable life but that’s not really how I feel about my life right now.

Yes, I still want to get married, have kids, and be acting full-time but I’m not feeling like it needs to happen right now as I thought in the past. If I was already married, that would mean I married someone I dated in the past and I’m really happy that didn’t happen. Those relationships ended for good reasons and I doubt I could be happily married to any of them now.

And I’m aware that there is a countdown until I can’t have kids any more (stupid biological clock), but I’ve still got a few years to work on that before it’s really going to be an issue. I’ve seen so many of my friends build their families in ways other than having their own kids, so I know that I don’t need to get pregnant to have kids one day. Having that pressure taken off of me and my mind has been a good thing for me.

Even though my life isn’t where I thought it would be, I’m pretty darn happy where I am at 33. The acting part of my life is the only part where I’m a bit annoyed at times that I’m not where I want to be, but I’ve gained patience and am so grateful for any opportunities I do have to perform and work to make the most of every moment I get to be in front of the camera. And I have faith in myself that I will get to where I want to be one day.

And I’ve made some amazing friends as an adult and I know having them in my life has made things so much better for me. Those friends push me to better myself and help me get to where I want in life. I never imagined what friends I would have at this point in my life when I imagined my future while in high school, but I never could have imagined having friends as incredible as the ones I have in my life now. So that is so much better than I dreamed of.

Overall, I’m really excited to be 33. I think this is going to be a great year for me. Things are in a much better places than they have been in the past and I know that things are just going to continue to get better and better. As I say quite a bit on here, I’m just excited to see what comes next because I know that good things are coming my way.

Thanks to everyone who sent me birthday wishes! Some birthday fun recaps to come soon!

900 Posts (or My Next Milestone Is A Big One)

First of all, if you celebrate Christmas I hope you are having a really great Christmas! If you are Jewish like me, I hope you have a great Jewish Christmas! I’ll do a recap of my Christmas day next week, but I just wanted to do a quick thank you post to you all!

This is my 900th post. I seriously can’t believe it. I know I’ve said this at every milestone, but I’m shocked that I’m still able to do this! When I started this blog, I thought that maybe I’d be able to keep it up for a year. Or if I went longer, I’d end up not posting 5 days a week. But for 900 posts, I haven’t missed a day no matter what (I’m sure eventually something will come up that causes me to miss a post, but I’m doing everything in my power to prevent that). I don’t know if I’ve ever really stuck with something this consistently this long (except maybe my acting career). And now it’s to the point that if I’m not blogging because it’s the weekend, my days don’t feel complete.

I’ve had some low points with this blog. There are days that I have no idea what I could possibly write about. There are things that I don’t want to write about and eventually get the guts to do so. And there are things that I have to share but wish I didn’t have to. And there are posts that I write just as a response to something and I get into a rant.

But there have also been some really amazing moments. I’ve found workouts that I love. I’ve met other bloggers who have inspired me to make Finding My Inner Bombshell better. I’ve become more open with my eating disorder and I’m getting help (and better help than I’ve ever gotten). I go on fun adventures not just because they will make good blog posts but because I want to experience more fun in my life. And I think that I’ve become a much happier person. I never knew that all of these wonderful things could come to me just because I sit at a computer and write about my life every weekday.

I’ve said this before, but I never knew how this blog would become therapy for me. And you all don’t judge me or try to convince me I’m doing something wrong. You all love and support me for who I am, and that’s invaluable to me. I wish that everyone could have the type of support that I feel. I know that if I had this years ago, life would have been much easier for me. I’m no longer afraid to be me because someone may reject me.

I wish that I could give you all holiday gifts as a thank you because you being my readers has been a gift to me. With my next big blog milestone being 1,000 posts, I’m hoping that I can do a really great giveaway to say thank you to you all.

But for now, all I can say is thank you for following me and my story for 900 posts. I hope that you’ve enjoyed my journey so far, and I can’t wait to share whatever comes up next in my life!

Here’s to the next 900!

Giant Bottle

Just Wanted To Say Thank You (or You All Help Me More Than You Know)

Lately I’ve been writing about some struggles I’m been having. I’m writing about them for a couple of reasons. One is that sometimes I don’t have much to say and sharing the struggles is something that can be shared. The other is that I have tried to be as honest as I possibly can on this blog. I don’t want to hide things or only show the good parts of my life. So many people do that on social media and it really doesn’t do anyone any good. Everyone goes through rough times and it’s only fair to show the good and the bad in your life if you are sharing it publicly.

But through me sharing my struggles on here, even at the beginning of my blog, I’ve gotten so much support. It shocked me then and it still shocks me now. Even though I know that I’m loved and cared about, having support is always unexpected and very much appreciated.

I’ve gotten so much support lately from so many people. A lot of people have helped me deal with my grandpa’s death. I’m still struggling with this because I haven’t really felt too sad about it and that makes me feel like a horrible person. But my grandpa and I have had a very complicated relationship and I think that I’m just trying to work through that.

I had so much support over the years about my mom’s cancer. The support was so wonderful when I got it and while I wish that nobody else has to go through cancer, I’m glad that I’m now able to repay the favor and give other support.

But the support that I’ve gotten for my eating disorder really has been the best. I’ve dealt with a couple of haters and rude comments in the past on here, but I just delete those. I know that I will probably always have one or two random people who believe that I’m talking about my eating disorder on here as a way to get attention or to hope that my blog post goes viral (both things I’ve been accused of in the past). But I do it for me and if someone else gets something out of it, then that’s awesome.

Every bit of support that I’ve gotten has helped me so much in my journey. I really wonder where I would be today if I didn’t have the support that I get virtually or in person. I’m such a happier and more productive person now than I was before. And every single one of you who reads this has been a part of the change in my life.

So I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for being there for me in my good times and bad times (that totally sounds like wedding vows), thank you for cheering me on in person at races or at the gym, and thank you for inspiring me to be a better person.

I got tagged in this photo the other day by a friend of mine, and I think it perfectly expresses how I should feel about the journey I’ve been on so far, even with my setbacks. And you all remind me of this whenever I have a tough day.

FB Quote

Thank You (or You All Made Me Feel Less Alone)

I wanted to do an update post on something I wrote about last week: being fat-shamed while bra shopping. I honestly wrote that post as a rant and didn’t feel like many people would be able to relate to it.

The response I got was so unexpected and it made me feel so good. First of all, thank you to everyone who commented (here, Facebook, and on twitter). I also got emails and text messages from people about the post. Most of the reactions to the post were shock. People couldn’t believe that I was treated like that.

I heard from people who I haven’t heard from in a decade telling me their bra shopping horror stories. I heard from people who I’ve never met before telling me the same thing.

It seems like feeling shame and frustration while bra shopping is an almost universal feeling. And I know this may seem stupid, but while writing that post I really wondered if anyone would understand my frustration. Most of the people I know can walk into any store and find something that fits them. For me, I sometimes have to drive miles to find a store with my size. And even then, many times my size is sold out (because they only have one or two items in my size). But it turns out that even my “straight-size” friends understood. I wasn’t expecting that.

Besides people telling me their stories, I also got some advice on other places to look for a sports bra in my size. Sadly, many of the places recommended to me won’t work out. Most don’t have my band size. And the few places that have my band size don’t have a cup size small enough for me.

But I think I might have found something that could work. I got a recommendation for this bra from RoadRunner Sports. They do have my size, but only carry it in black or white (why can’t I get a cute color?!?). I ordered a couple of different sizes in black and I’m waiting for them to arrive so I can try them on. Hopefully one will work and then I can return the others (sports bras aren’t cheap!).

Again, thank you to everyone who read, responded, or shared that post. You helped me feel less alone and less self-conscious about wanting to find workout clothes that make working out easier and more comfortable for me. You helped to make me realize that I am worthy of finding something that is right for me and that I shouldn’t let mean salespeople get me down.

Thank You (or I Should Have Done This Sooner)

I’m feeling so loved after writing yesterday’s post. Thank you all so much.

When I wrote it, I deleted and re-wrote it several times. I wondered if I should really put it all out there. I wondered if anyone would read it. I wondered what people would think.

And what I got was a lot of love and support. Thank you all for the comments, tweets (BTW, you can follow me on twitter, I’m @thejenlevin), Facebook posts, emails, and texts. I read every single thing sent to me, and several of them made me tear up. I know that I made the right decision by being this honest this early in my blogging experience.

I’m feeling so free and energized now. I never knew that by holding that in, I was hurting myself so much.

I hope that I can inspire at least one of you to go and put your whole self out there. Even if you are scared about being judged, know that the person who is judging you the hardest is yourself.

I know that after yesterday, my confidence has grown so much. I feel a lot more sure of myself. I know that it sounds so cheesy saying all of this, but it’s true. And I would have never believed this if it wasn’t happening to me.

Thank you again all so much. I hope that you are going to continue reading my journey. It’s really only just begun.