Tag Archives: medication

Some More Virtual Therapy (or Trying Another Medication)

Posted on March 12, 2020 | Comments Off on Some More Virtual Therapy (or Trying Another Medication)

I’ve been doing my appointments with my therapist virtually for a while. It’s been a great setup for me because I don’t have to deal with driving in traffic or paying for parking. I know there are some rules about my therapist needing to see me every so often, but I believe that the video chat appointments fill that requirement.

But with all the issues with COVID-19, I was even more grateful for being able to do my appointment at home. I don’t want to be around people when I don’t need to. And it turns out that they have been converting all the in-person appointments to virtual ones, so even if I had a regular appointment originally scheduled I would have had a virtual one.

Most of my therapy appointments are about checking in with how I feel on my medications. It’s not as much about talking things out as it used to be (or as some people think therapy is all about). I’m not saying those things aren’t valuable or what therapy should be about, it’s just not what my current appointments are about. I’ve done a ton of talking things out, now we are working through finding a solution.

I’ve been doing pretty ok with Vyvanse for a long time, but lately, I’ve noticed it not taking the edge off the same way it used to. It’s something that I’ve become more aware of and I’ve been tracking it knowing I could discuss it at this appointment. And I did bring that up to my therapist this time. I said that I didn’t know if my body was getting used to the dosage but that I didn’t necessarily want to increase it. And she agreed with me because I am toward the top dosage that has been studied. There are people taking double what I take, but that’s not recommended nor are there a lot of things known about the long-term effects of doing that.

So my therapist recommended that I should consider trying adding another medication to my plan. I’m definitely open to doing that, but I also am hesitant about that. The last time I added a new medication, it didn’t go well. But I also know that I’ve added medications several times with no issues so I can’t just think about the rare times that it wasn’t so good. And we did go over some of the medications that I’ve taken before and how I reacted to them.

There have been a few studies about different medications that people take for anxiety or depression that can help with getting into recovery from an eating disorder. I have taken some of these medications with no success or causing some bad side effects. So those were immediately removed from consideration. What I will be adding will be a different medication that is also a mood stabilizer. The idea of taking a mood stabilizer is that it can increase patience and reduce impulsive behavior. Both of those things could be good in multiple aspects of my life, but it makes a lot of sense with my eating disorder. So I agreed to try out this medication to see if it helps.

I’m going to starting taking a half dose for a week before moving on to the full dose my therapist wants me to be on. And after 2 months, I’ll be doing another virtual appointment to check in and see if it’s helping me. Of course, if I have bad side effects as I did on the last medication, I can message her and we will create a plan for me to go off of it. But I’m trying to stay positive and hope for the best. I want there to be no bad side effects and only the positive side effects that I want to help me.

This medication isn’t as strong as the last one I tried so it might take a while for me to see any results or side effects. That’s why my appointment is set for 2 months from now. Most people don’t notice a change for almost a month, so that gives me a month to see any changes and a month to decide if I like those changes. I’m not thinking that this is going to be a miracle medication and make everything better, but anything that helps would be so amazing.

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Another Quick Therapy Appointment (or Video Appointments Make Things Easy)

Posted on September 12, 2019 | Comments Off on Another Quick Therapy Appointment (or Video Appointments Make Things Easy)

When I had my last therapy appointment, I was put on a new medication that would hopefully help me with recovering from my eating disorder. The plan was that I would try the medication for 6 weeks with increasing the dose each week and then I would have an appointment with my therapist to discuss how things were going and see if the dosage was correct.

But things didn’t turn out that way. I tried the medication for about a month before the side effects just became too much for me to handle. I really was hoping I could keep going, but it was affecting my life too much and the benefits weren’t worth it. I emailed my therapist to let her know I wanted to stop the medication and we worked out a plan for me to ease off of it. I’ve been lucky and the side effects I was experiencing went away very quickly. I haven’t been dealing with vertigo or numbness for a while now. And I don’t know if my period is going to be affected again this cycle, but at least it should be normal again soon.

Even though I stopped the medication already, I kept my appointment with my therapist. I figured that it would be good to keep it in case she wanted to talk to me more about stopping the medication and see if I was ok. And since it was a video appointment, it was easy to keep it and not have to worry about if the appointment wouldn’t be worth my time. I figured it would end up being a fast check-in and I was doing work at home while I was waiting for my therapist to get online.

And as expected, it was a quick check-in. She wanted to confirm that I was off the medication and that I was doing better. I think she was relieved that most of the side effects went away almost immediately. Unfortunately, the medication is very strong and a lot of people have reactions like I did. But it was worth trying it to see if it would help. We had no way to know how I would react until I tried, and now we do. And it did make me feel a bit better to find out that so many people have side effects. Even though I don’t feel like a failure for having them, I still felt better knowing that it was so common and not one of my medical weirdo moments.

Going over the medication was the main reason for the appointment, and we didn’t have much to discuss since I was off of it. She did want to check in with me to make sure that I’m doing ok emotionally and with everything else, and I was honest that I’ve been exhausted and dealing with a lot lately. But nothing that seems unmanageable or that I needed extra help with. It’s mainly something for me to be aware of and make sure that I take care of myself. I think my therapist was understanding with everything going on in my life and she was ok with me having a few extra things to deal with as long as I was handling them.

The last thing we went over was how I’m doing on Vyvanse. I know that she typically doesn’t prescribe it to patients and she’s following the protocol that my last therapist had. But I appreciate that she understands why I’m on it and wants to make sure that we don’t have to adjust anything. She did mention that we could increase my dosage, but I don’t want to do that right now. I feel like it’s a good amount for me and I do feel it helps. And I don’t want to increase until I feel like I do need more to get the help that I’m used to.

And that was pretty much it for my therapy check-in. We did set up my next appointment for 6 months from now and it will be another video appointment. Because my appointments are mainly medication check-ins, I don’t have to go as often as I used to. And every 6 months is pretty standard now for making sure I’m still doing ok and I don’t need anything to change. And of course, if something changes in my life and I need to go in sooner, I know I can make another appointment and go in person. But for now, I continue to be grateful for video appointments because they are so easy for me to do. And considering this appointment ended up only being about 5 minutes, it was nice to not have to drive 30 minutes there and back to do it.

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Guess Stopping The Medication Was The Right Choice (or Maybe I Should Have Read More Into The Side Effects)

Posted on August 27, 2019 | Comments Off on Guess Stopping The Medication Was The Right Choice (or Maybe I Should Have Read More Into The Side Effects)

I wrote last week about how I was stopping the new medication that I was on for my eating disorder. I was a little disappointed to be stopping it because I wanted to see if it was going to work, but I was just not happy with the side effects that I was having and they were starting to affect my life more than I was ok with. At first, they didn’t seem that bad. But they started to get worse and the benefits I was seeing weren’t worth the issues I was having.

I’ve been slowly decreasing my dosage and it will still be another week before I’m off it completely. And technically the medication can be in my system for another 6 weeks so there is a chance I will still experience some of the side effects for a while once I am done. The thing that bothered me the most and got me to want to stop was the vertigo. And fortunately, that has pretty much stopped. I still have a few moments of vertigo, but they are mild and brief. It’s nothing like what I experienced a week ago when I wasn’t able to sit without falling over. I have a feeling the pins and needles feeling in my hands and feet will take a long time to go away. But that is more of an annoyance to me than an issue so I’m ok with that taking longer.

I did do a lot of research before starting this medication and I was aware of a lot of the side effects. Of course, there are hundreds of potential side effects with any medications so I try to just look at the big ones that people have and not the little random ones. But I guess I should know better than that because I have a history of being the person who gets the one in a million side effects. But I also know that reading all of the random things can be scary and I don’t want to freak myself out before starting something.

I mentioned in my workout recap post that my workouts were not that great last week because I was dealing with horrible nausea again. I also mentioned that I expected that it was going to be an easier week for me because it was supposed to be the week that I got my period so things would be getting better. But I didn’t have my period that week. I knew I wasn’t pregnant and I knew I was under a ton of stress so I didn’t worry too much about it. But when my stress level went down and I still didn’t have my period, I started to worry a little bit since I usually am not late. For some reason, I was looking at the side effects of this medication and happened to see that one of the random and rare things can be irregular or changes with menstrual cycles. And I knew that there was a good chance that the medication was the cause of this.

Irregular cycles could be a good thing if I could guarantee that I would have fewer cycles a year, but it could also make PMS or periods longer (like what I dealt with recently with two weeks of PMS). I don’t want to risk having longer PMS or periods for the off-chance that I will have fewer cycles a year. I want to keep my cycles regular so I know when to expect things and to be able to plan things out. I can’t do anything now since I’m working at coming off the medication now, but I’m so glad I’m doing that because I don’t want to have to deal with this any longer. It’s a side effect I wish I knew about because I might not have taken the risk with taking it knowing how bad things already are for me.

I know that this isn’t my therapist’s fault. She warned me about the major side effects and gave me information on the other side effects. I probably should have been a better advocate for myself and looked into the side effects before taking it, even if that meant going down the rabbit hole and looking at the one in a million ones. I was just so excited to see if this medication was going to work and I didn’t want to look into the problems. But now I’m dealing with the issues with it and I’m just hoping that it’s out of my system soon.

I guess I just have to be grateful that I did decide to stop the medication last week so I already started working on decreasing the dosage so that I am almost done. I didn’t let the idea of success cloud my head and make me ignore the pain I was in. And now I just have to work through this and hopefully, I’ll be back to my normal self again soon.

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Almost Giving It A Full Try (or Ending Things Early)

Posted on August 20, 2019 | Comments Off on Almost Giving It A Full Try (or Ending Things Early)

When I had my appointment with my therapist, one of the things that we talked about was a new medication that I was going to start. The medication was being prescribed off-label for me. Normally, it’s for headaches and sometimes for seizures. But it has also been found to have some side effects that work as benefits for people. Specifically, it has been found to cause people to lose weight and lose their appetite. So if I had those side effects, it would be a very successful medication for me.

It is a strong medication and there was no way to know how my body would react. So I had to do a very slow dosage increase over 4 weeks. The plan was that I was going to try this medication for 6 weeks and then I was going to have a phone check-in with my therapist to discuss how I feel and see if I liked how things were going and if the dosage seemed right. 6 weeks seemed like a good trial period to me and I was excited to see how it went.

Immediately, I noticed side effects that were not the ones I wanted. I noticed tingling and numbness in my hands and feet. For some reason, this was bothering me the most when I was rowing in my workouts. It got worse as I increased the dosage but then got better. So I was thinking that maybe I got over the hump of getting used to this medication.

I didn’t talk about any other side effects from this medication other than the tingling feeling because that was the only one that really affected me a lot in my day to day life. But I did have other things that I noticed and I wasn’t sure if they were side effects or not. I was trying to think maybe they were just feelings of stress or being tired because I am dealing with both of those a lot right now. And I wanted this medication to work. While it’s not suppressing my appetite the way I was thinking it would, I am losing some weight. I’m not the incredible shrinking woman, but I am down about 12 pounds in a month which is pretty impressive considering I don’t think I’ve made a huge difference in my food.

But I have realized these other little side effects can’t be ignored anymore. Yesterday, I had the worse bout of vertigo that I could remember. It was terrifying. I was holding to the ground to try to stay still. I couldn’t sit up without falling over. It started when I was sleeping. I woke up and the room was spinning. I tried to sit up and I couldn’t do that. The next thing I knew, I fell out of bed and was on the ground and couldn’t get my head up. I finally was able to get back to bed and sleep some more, but the entire morning I was dealing with vertigo (including in my workout which also was while I was nauseous).

The vertigo got a bit better in the afternoon, but I was still having moments when the room felt like it was spinning around me. I know that anything could have caused this, but I need to take variables out of my life. I already have had other weird issues with this new medication and I don’t want to be paranoid that anything wrong with me is caused by this medication. Right now, that’s the thought I have any time something seems off and I just want to get that variable out.

But because the medication is so strong, I can’t just stop it. I emailed my doctor and we came up with an ease off plan. Fortunately, I can ease off it quicker than I got up to this dose. But I will need to be working on it for 2 weeks before I can stop completely. I don’t know if my side effects will lessen as I lower the dose since most of them started even at the lowest dose, but it would be nice if they were a little easier on me. And I don’t know if when I am off the medication if they side effects will end right away or if they will linger.

I’m a bit disappointed that I didn’t get to give the medication the full 6 weeks that I was planning on, but at the same time, I have to prioritize my health and how I feel. And I just don’t feel right and I don’t think it’s going to get better. It really has only been getting worse and I don’t know if I want to give it more time to try to get better. Maybe if I sucked it up a few more weeks I would be over a hump, but I don’t know if I want to suffer through a few weeks. But I am glad that at least I tried and know I know that it’s just not the right thing for me so I can move on and keep trying other options.

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In Person Therapy (or Changing Some Things Up)

Posted on July 25, 2019 | 1 comment

It’s been a while since I’ve gone to see my therapist in person. I’ve had phone check-ins and video chat check-ins since my last in-person appointment and those have been great options. But some rules require that every so often I do have to go to an in-person appointment so that is what I had this week. I’m not sure if it’s a general rule or because one of my medications is a controlled substance, but either way, I was fine with going in.

I had a feeling going into the appointment that it would be a very easy one. With my new therapist, most of the appointment is about my medication and making sure that I am still doing ok with it. We have discussed my mental health from time to time, but we have agreed that my eating disorder is something much bigger than what can be figured out in talk therapy. I’m not holding onto something from my past or using it as a weapon, it’s just something that I have and my goal is to get into recovery. And hopefully, that recovery is soon.

The first part of the appointment was to discuss my dosage of Vyvanse and how I’ve been doing on it. I think I’m at the right dose right now and when I don’t take it on the rare occasion that it happens, I can feel a difference. I still wish it could do more than it does for me, but I also understand that the benefits that I wish it would have are not realistic. It’s not a miracle drug, but it is such a helpful tool for me. And I am so grateful that I am on it because I do know it’s helping.

I also brought up how I am doing the Brain Over Binge online course. My therapist is familiar with the book, but not the online course so I was telling her a little bit about it and what lessons I’ve been learning (which I’ll share on here another time). I think she was proud of me for taking a step beyond what she and I have discussed and she mentioned that she might start recommending the course to other patients of hers that cannot or don’t want to go to weekly classes that are offered through my insurance (I don’t want to do those classes as I have done a very similar thing before and it wasn’t the right thing for me).

The last thing that was discussed at my appointment was a new medication that my doctor mentioned to me when we had our last check-in. I was hesitant at the time because I like to have time to do some research about any new medication I start and make sure I am familiar with the side effects and what I can expect out of it. The medication is called Topamax and it is usually prescribed for seizures or migraine headaches. But there have been some studies that show that it can help with binge eating disorder.

The first way that Topamax can help can be with weight loss. The medication has the side effect of making people lose weight, so that can be a good thing for someone like me. It’s not a miracle cure and will make me drop weight without any effort, but it hopefully can help make any weight loss progress I am making on my own a bit easier and faster. Even though weight loss isn’t the main focus for me right now, I can’t deny that when I lose weight I gain confidence in my eating disorder battle and it helps me continue to try harder. So to know that this could help makes me hopeful.

The medication has also shown to help with controlling impulses which also can relate to eating disorders. This isn’t as common as weight loss, but any possible help I can get is a good thing and I encourage.

Because this is a new medication for me and we have no clue what the proper dosage will be to possibly help me, I will be doing a slow process over the next month or so with increasing the dose as well as changing when I take it. For now. I just take one pill at bedtime and I started on Tuesday night. I am hyperaware right now of anything I feel because I know it can be an unwanted side effect of the Topamax. I’m a bit paranoid too, but I’m just trying to stay alert and aware of how I feel and making notes when I feel anything that seems a bit off. So far, the only thing I experienced was a brief period of a bit of tingling in my hands/arms, but because that only happened once it might be a random thing and not from the medication. I’ll just have to wait and see.

My therapy appointment was so easy and simple this time. I’m sure it sounds like not much happened, but that’s kind of where I am with therapy now. It’s much more about medication management than anything else. And now I have a new medication that gives me some hope that it will help. Maybe that combined with everything else that I’ve been doing will be enough to help tip the scales (no pun intended) in my favor. All I can do is try and hope.

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Another Virtual Doctor Appointment (or Planning Some Next Steps)

Posted on February 7, 2019 | Comments Off on Another Virtual Doctor Appointment (or Planning Some Next Steps)

Things have changed a few times for me since I started back in therapy. With my old therapist, my appointments started much more frequent but eventually went to twice a year. But those appointments were always in person and that’s what I expected them to be. When I got my new therapist, she offered the option to do virtual appointments. I’ve done a phone appointment with her before and that worked really well for me. I’m not doing therapy now to figure out what’s wrong and how to fix it. I know what my issues are and I know the steps I need to take. It’s more about implementing those ideas now. My appointments are check-ins that are almost exclusively about my medication.

When I did my last appointment over the phone, my therapist let me know that at least once a year she has to be able to see me for an appointment. That can mean a regular in person appointment, but it can also be a video chat appointment. We both agreed that a video appointment would be best as it’s easiest and we knew the check-in wasn’t anything too serious.

I’m very happy with these alternative appointment options. First, it seems like those appointments are free (I know the phone one was, and I haven’t gotten a bill or anything for the video one) which is nice considering the regular appointments are about $80. I also get to save money on parking because there are no good free parking options by the office so I have to pay to use their parking lot. And these appointments are much faster for me since I don’t have to drive over there and wait for my appointment time.

This video chat appointment was my first time using the Kaiser video system. I was planning on using it on my computer, however the versions of different web browsers I have are too good for the system (I was shocked that the web browsers had to be 2 versions older than what I use). But I was able to use the video chat through the Kaiser app on my phone. It felt a bit like a Skype call when I was looking at the screen getting things set up.

I was logged in and ready to go 10 minutes before my appointment, so I set my phone down next to me and did some work while I waited for my therapist to log in. I figured it wouldn’t be right at my appointment time, but it was only a few minutes after which is much better than most in-person appointments are.

As expected, the check-in was pretty basic. She asked me if I was doing ok on my current dosage, which I am. I shared some issues I have been having such as sometimes taking it a bit too late if I’m having a lazy morning (I’m working on not doing that and if I have a lazy morning at least get up to take my meds early). I also shared how I think taking both pills in the morning is helping my anxiety because I’m not worried about remembering to take my dose in the middle of the day. I’m much happier with all my medication in the morning and I find that it is working just as well as it was when I was splitting them up. It’s still not a miracle medication and I do struggle from time to time, but that’s normal and expected.

I think my therapist was pretty happy with everything I was saying. I know that she doesn’t usually prescribe Vyvanse because she hasn’t seen a lot of success with it, and I know that I really am not a success story yet. I wish that my weight was down more than it is right now and I know that she was expecting that too. So she brought up the idea of adding other medications that might help with both weight loss and mental health.

I would love to be on something that would make me lose weight. But I am also hesitant to add anything else to my routine that is a mood stabilizer. I am having the least amount of anxiety and panic in my life that I can remember and I don’t want to mess that up. I know that my anxiety should have gotten worse, but for some reason it got better for me. And I don’t know what adding another medication may do to that.

I told my therapist exactly that and explained that I really don’t know if I want to try anything new. She really thinks it would be beneficial for me, but she agrees that if I’m not feeling on board with the idea that we shouldn’t do it now. But she gave me the name of the medication so I can do some research on my own and I can go into my next appointment with her understanding more about the medication so we can talk about it more. I know that some of my hesitation was not knowing anything about the medication and wondering about it, so having time to do some research will probably help. And I’m guessing if she still feels like it would benefit me when I see her again, that I’ll agree to go on it.

But for now, everything is staying the same with my plan. I am not changing any medication and I need to keep working on what I’ve been working on. I haven’t made all the changes I should have, but I am trying to get there and that’s the path I need to keep going down. And most likely in 6 months when I have my next appointment, there will be some changes made. But at least I know what is coming up and I can prepare for it.

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A Super Easy Therapy Appointment (or Just Doing A Check-In)

Posted on August 8, 2018 | Comments Off on A Super Easy Therapy Appointment (or Just Doing A Check-In)

It’s been a while since I’ve seen my new therapist. I actually have only had 1 in-person appointment with her when she started treating me. A month after that appointment I had a phone call appointment with her to check-in about my new medication dosage and to discuss any issues. After my phone call, I was supposed to have a video chat with her for my next appointment, but I had to change that. The time I originally set up for that was no longer a time I could be at my computer and when I called in to reschedule I was only given the options to do an in-office appointment or another phone call. I figured it was easier to do a phone call so I went with that.

My call with my therapist was this week and I honestly wasn’t sure what to expect out of it. Since my other phone appointment was more about checking in with the medication, we didn’t discuss much else beyond that. And I’m used to my appointments with my other therapist where medication wasn’t really something we discussed beyond that I was doing ok. I was much more used to discussing everything else in life and getting homework. This new therapist is still new to me and I don’t feel like I know her as well as I knew my old therapist, so I just was trying to stay open-minded and keep plenty of time open for this new phone call.

The first thing my therapist asked me about on the call was how I was doing on my medication. I told her how the adjustment period was much longer than expected but that I was feeling pretty normal now. I do still feel like it is helping me although I wish it helped even more. But I realize that it is just an aid to help in binge eating and not a cure so I still have to do work on my own. But even knowing that, it would be amazing if it was a cure and it would fix everything for me.

After letting her know that I’m doing ok and I think that this is a good dosage for me, my therapist let me know that she was a bit hesitant about things because in her experience most patients don’t have positive results or feel like it helps enough. She kept me on it before because I was on it from my last therapist and just wanted to do what she felt would be an appropriate dosage to have me really see if it helps. I don’t know if she was expecting me to say it’s not helping or I’m not happy, but I’m glad that it does work for me and that she is willing to work with me on things.

We really didn’t discuss too much outside of the medication or my eating disorder. We didn’t discuss any new or old stresses in my life, but I honestly feel like I have been dealing with them in better and healthier ways than I have in the past. Even with the bad things that have happened lately I feel a bit more calm and rational when dealing with them. Or if I don’t feel rational and calm, I’m not as rash to act on them and I usually let it sit until I can deal with them in a better way. I know my medication has nothing to do with this, but it still is a positive change in my life that I’m happy with.

My call with my therapist was very brief and I was surprised by that. I’m sure if I had more to talk about with her I could have had a longer call, but I didn’t feel like that was necessary. I discussed the few things I needed to with her and she feels comfortable with keeping me on my medication and at the dosage I’m at right now. She ordered my next refill for when I need it and will approve the refill after that (those refills will get me through the next 6 months). It’s what I wanted out of the appointment and I’m glad it was very simple to get that.

My next appointment with her will be in 6 months. Because that will be a year after the last time she saw me, it has to be either an in-person appointment or a video chat. It was easier to schedule the video chat, plus it saves me the drive and the parking costs, so I’ll be doing the video chat I was supposed to do this time. That will be my first video chat with my therapist so just like with this call I honestly don’t know what to expect out of it. I’m not worried about what will happen or think that she will think anything is wrong with me, but it’s still a bit of an unknown.

But for now, I’m just happy I got this super quick check-in done and it went well. I wanted to make sure she felt ok with me continuing with my plan and that’s exactly what I got out of it. I know that I’ve done a lot of work on myself outside of therapy and I don’t feel like it’s stuff I need to go into super detail about with my therapist because it is going well. But it’s good to know that I do have someone I trust and feel is really looking out of me if I did need more than what I am getting now or if things take a turn that I’m not ok with.

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Default ThumbnailAnother Virtual Doctor Appointment (or Planning Some Next Steps) Default ThumbnailSome More Virtual Therapy (or Trying Another Medication) Default ThumbnailAnother Therapy Check In (or Someone Sees Progress) Default ThumbnailAnother Quick Therapy Appointment (or Video Appointments Make Things Easy) Default ThumbnailA Good Therapy Check In (or Focus On The Good) Default ThumbnailAn Easy Therapist Check-In (or Virtual Appointments Make Things Easier)

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Another Medical Afternoon (or At Least This Was Easy)

Posted on August 3, 2018 | Comments Off on Another Medical Afternoon (or At Least This Was Easy)

It was just about a month ago that I went to the doctor for some recurring medical issues I had been dealing with. When I went to the appointment originally, I thought I’d still have to go back for another appointment for all my annual things. But my doctor was able to fit everything into that one appointment. I still don’t have an answer for the recurring issue, but it didn’t happen this past month when I expected it to so I’m hoping whatever it was resolved itself.

I got all my medical tests back quickly and they were all normal. But then my doctor realized that one of the tests I had to do was either lost or they forgot to test it. So I had to go back for that test this week (just like I thought I would when I didn’t think the last appointment would count as my annual one). Fortunately since this was a lab screwup I didn’t have to pay a co-pay. And I’ve had the same insurance since I was born and this was the first time any of my tests were lost. So while it was a minor inconvenience I wasn’t mad or upset. I also realized after my last appointment I forgot to ask for a prescription refill on a painkiller so this worked out for me just fine.

Because my doctor is a family friend, it was easy to get the appointment scheduled. She booked me to be the last appointment of the day so she wouldn’t have to feel rushed with me. We also spend part of my appointment time catching up or talking about random stuff so the extra time was appreciated. But because I was the last appointment of the day, I also knew that the appointment would probably not be on time. I’m fine with that and it was only a few minutes behind. But when I was waiting in the exam room I just kept staring at this chart.

This chart is usually used for other things like cervical dilation, but to me I always look at it and am in shock over how big 10cm (the largest circle) is. That’s how big my biggest liver tumor was when it was discovered. I still can’t believe that I had a tumor that large and had no idea it was in my body! Every time I see that chart I can’t stop looking at it and just be in disbelief over the tumor situation. But it’s also a good way to kill a few minutes while waiting for my doctor.

When she came into the exam room, we went over some of the previous tests I had done and the recurring issue I had. I am a bit paranoid that the issue will come back again this month and last month was just a fluke, but if that’s the case I’ll just come back and we will keep working on finding out what’s wrong with me. We also discussed my tumor a bit because I was telling her how the chart is so shocking to me. She confirmed that my next MRI order is set to happen in October (I can schedule it when it’s ordered so it will probably be the end of October or beginning of November) so I’ll have an update on my tumors then.

When we were talking about my tumors, I did have a funny story to share with her. I recently had a first date with a guy who works in medicine. We ended up talking about weird medical conditions we both have (it’s a strange first date conversation but it came up naturally) and I told my doctor how this guy was so fascinated by my tumors. He even asked if I had any photos of it because he wanted to see it and I showed him my MRI. My doctor and I joked that only I could find a guy to go on a date with that would be interested in learning about my medical weirdness.

The test that had to be redone only took a minute and I should have the results in a week or so. I’m not too stressed about it. The worst case scenario is that I’ll have to go back another time for an additional test, but it would only be a test to confirm I don’t have any pre-cancerous cells (which was already proven to be fine by another test). I know I need to get that additional test if it’s ordered, but it’s really more of a precaution and not to really test to see if there is anything wrong with me. But I do like to be on top of all my health issues so I’m glad I understand what’s going on and what steps are possibly coming up.

I’m sure I’m more aware of health issues or possible complications than a lot of people are aware of. Part of it is my upbringing with being raised in a medical family and part of it is that I always seem to have weird things and I like to be educated as it removes a lot of the fear that can happen when you are told that not everything is perfect. And I’ve said it before, but I am so lucky to have such amazing doctors as a part of my medical team. They really do care about me and understand why I want to know the answers to so many things.

Hopefully I don’t have to go back again for another test, but if I do then I guess it will be an interesting blog post when it happens.

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Default ThumbnailHoping For Some Normal (or Fingers Crossed That This Was This Easy) Default ThumbnailA Medical Afternoon (or Getting In All My Regular Checkups) Default ThumbnailMore Medical Stuff (or My First Biopsy) Default ThumbnailSome Random Medical Tests (or At Least Getting Blood Work Was Entertaining) Default ThumbnailA Non-Surgery Anniversary (or Another Year Of Being A Medical Miracle) Default ThumbnailTaking Back A Medical Miracle (or Getting My Eyes Checked Again)

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A Medical Afternoon (or Getting In All My Regular Checkups)

Posted on July 5, 2018 | 3 comments

I’ve been dealing with some female health issues lately. Some of it I’ve discussed on here, and some I haven’t. The things I haven’t shared on here are nothing too bad, but I’ve just been dealing with some recurring issues with my body not reacting normally when I have my periods each month beyond the nausea. I’ve joked to a friend that my body is allergic to when I have my period because my skin freaks out a bit and I have some other weird symptoms. But I know that’s not it. And I was managing it and handling it on my own until recently when I realized that I needed to stop treating myself and actually get checked out.

I usually schedule annual appointments around my birthday so I don’t forget about them, but I didn’t want to have to wait another month or so to figure out what’s happening with me. So I went in to see my OB/GYN (who does almost all my annual health checks and orders the tests I need to do) this week and it ended up being a longer appointment than I expected.

I’m very lucky that I have an amazing doctor. She was trained by my dad so she’s known my family for a while. And besides her being super educated and a great doctor she is also really easy to talk to. I don’t have to feel shame about any concerns I have or feel like she is going to judge me. More often than not I am comfortable enough around her that we can joke about things that others might feel like they could be judged for. It is so helpful to have a doctor you can be totally open with and know that you are going to be taken care of.

First, I did bring up all the nausea issues I’ve been having and what other options there are out there. I was prescribed a new anti-nausea medication that I can try when things are really bad, but I also got a refill for the medication I’ve been on since on the not-so-bad days it does help. It would be amazing if I never needed the stronger medication, but it’s nice to know I have a new option if I do need it.

Then we went over the normal things that are discussed in an annual appointment. I got all the standard tests that I needed plus a few others to see if we could figure out what’s been wrong with me. Some of the tests had a quick turnaround, but there are others that are going to be much more detailed and those may take a month or so to get the answers. Nothing is so bad that I can’t wait for the answers and I’m willing to wait because I do want to know what’s going on.

Finally I got all the other tests that I needed ordered put into the system. My OB/GYN works out of a medical office and not the big hospital, but they do have a lab and a few other departments there. So after my blood work tests were ordered I was able to just walk down the hallway to do that. I didn’t faint (yay!), but because we were doing some more tests than just my standard ones there were 5 vials of blood taken instead of the usually 2. I just kept my eyes closed while I was there and focused on breathing while the vials filled.

I also had a mammogram ordered since I didn’t have one last year. I’m still younger than the age when you need to start getting them each year and my doctor and I haven’t really figured out the best plan for me since I will also probably need MRIs as well, but we are working on the plan together. I also am not as high of risk as other people with a family history of breast cancer since my mom was older when she was diagnosed. But I’d rather be on top of screenings than not get them and realize there is something wrong when it’s too late. I could have scheduled my mammogram at the medical offices, but the hospital is actually closer to my house so I’m going to be going there again.

And after all that, I still had one more stop at the pharmacy at the office to get all the prescriptions filled. I had 4 different things I was getting and because that was considered a large order they had to take a while to get everything together. I didn’t mind since I had my Kindle with me and I could just wait there reading. They originally told me it would take an hour, but it was only about 35 minutes until everything was ready for me.

Since my appointment, I did get a call from my doctor saying that all my tests (except the few that will take time) came back normal. That’s good and bad news. I’m glad there is nothing wrong with me, but I know there is something up and we just don’t know what it is. The more detailed tests won’t necessarily give us an answer because they are testing for more specific things that the quick tests tested for. But you never know so I can still wait on those. But now the plan is to see if the symptoms return and if they do my doctor is going to find a way to see me that day so she sees me when things are affecting me. There is also the possibility that whatever was in my body has left naturally and I won’t have any issues soon. But that will just be a wait and see game.

While it can be frustrating and annoying to have things wrong with you and to spend an afternoon doing medical stuff, I’m not too bothered by it. Obviously I would love to be in perfect health and not have any medical mysteries, but at least I have a great doctor who wants to help me and is willing to order different tests to figure out what is happening. To me, knowing that I’m working on figure it out is a relief and I’m glad that I have the ability to see my doctor when I need to. And at least now I’ve got all the other annual things my OB/GYN would order so I don’t have to worry about those for another year.

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Default ThumbnailHoping For Some Normal (or Fingers Crossed That This Was This Easy) Default ThumbnailFinding Some More Control (or How Medical Stuff and Dating Stuff Are Alike) Default ThumbnailAnother Medical Afternoon (or At Least This Was Easy) Default ThumbnailMore Medical Stuff (or My First Biopsy) Default ThumbnailSome Random Medical Tests (or At Least Getting Blood Work Was Entertaining) Default ThumbnailA Non-Surgery Anniversary (or Another Year Of Being A Medical Miracle)

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Being A Bit Paranoid (or Trying To Believe I’m Not Having More Health Issues)

Posted on June 13, 2018 | 1 comment

My body has been such a mess lately. It seems like something has been wrong with me for several months (when in reality it’s most like 5-6 week) and I just can’t be healthy. I’m aware that the cold I got is going to stick with me for a bit longer and that’s a little annoying. But I do see progress every day that I’m getting a bit better. I just can’t wait until I am not coughing all day and I feel like I can breathe normally again.

Right before I got sick, I had a bladder infection (which came right after feeling nauseous). It was cured pretty quickly with antibiotics and I was grateful that I don’t get them that often. They are pretty bad and because I didn’t want to have to take unpaid time off work I had to wait several hours after my symptoms started to get to the doctor for the medication. I had to wait until getting to the doctor to take any over the counter medications that make things less painful so I could be properly diagnosed, but as soon as I finished at the doctor I took everything I could to make it go away.

But then the other day, I was feeling off and couldn’t place what was wrong. Then I started feeling like I needed to go to the bathroom constantly and was terrified that I had another bladder infection. I thought it would be so strange to have another one but I was not willing to take the risk and wait it out. So I called the nurse line to talk to someone and see if I could get a prescription quickly.

With the nurse line, they can call you back when it’s your turn so you aren’t on hold for a while. The wait time was about 2 hours and the entire time I was waiting I was drinking as much water as I could. I know that you can’t always flush it out of your system, but I was going to try it because that’s all I could do while I was waiting. When I finally spoke to the nurse, my symptoms were slightly better but she still felt like it would be best for me to take the antibiotics again.

So I got into the car and drove to Kaiser. As I drove there I realized that I felt pretty much normal again and that maybe I overreacted. But I still wanted to get the prescription in case this was just a temporary break. I went to the pharmacy to order them and then walked into the hospital to use the bathroom. And when I walked in, I will say I was super creeped out by how empty it was inside.

I’ve never seen the lobby with no people inside. There was nobody waiting, no staff at the desks, and nobody walking around. The hospital was open and I have no clue why there was nobody inside. But since I was weirded out I quickly used the bathroom and headed back to the pharmacy to pick up the medication.

By then, I was feeling totally normal and a bit silly for doing all this. If I had just waited it out, I would have been fine. Of course, there was no way to know that when I called to talk to the nurse and I’d rather overreact and not do anything and make the situation much worse. I know a bladder infection can turn into much more serious conditions and I don’t want to cause that to happen.

While I did get the medication, I’m not going to take it right now. I’d rather not take antibiotics that I don’t need. I’m going to keep them because I still am a bit paranoid that this is only a temporary break from the issue and that it’s going to come back and get worse. I feel the same way about my tumors. When I found out they shrunk, I was so sure that it wasn’t real and that they would grow again. When I had my scan last October, I was certain that I wasn’t going to get good news. Fortunately I was wrong about that.

I think that it’s just my nature to be paranoid about things like this when I’ve already had to deal with them. I’m not really worried about medical conditions that I haven’t had personally (or have had close family have). I’m not worried about all the new diseases and conditions you read about in the news. I’m only worried about repeats of what I had or that something that is supposed to be getting better is really getting worse. I’m glad that I was wrong this time and I was fine, but I’m still worried that in a week I’ll be writing about how this post was wrong.

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Default ThumbnailHaving Health Paranoia (or I’m Sure I Am Just Fine) Default ThumbnailBack To Back Medical Issues (or I Guess My Body Gave Me A Sign) Default ThumbnailWorld Mental Health Day (or Seeing So Many People Be So Open) Default ThumbnailWeird Health Issues (or I’m Just Falling Apart) Default ThumbnailMaking Small Investments In My Health (or Trying To Not Be Anxious Or Paranoid) Default ThumbnailCan’t My Body Have A Break? (or Back To Back Issues)

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