Tag Archives: hangout

And Another Virtual Party (or A Secret Santa Hangout)

In past years, this was the time that it seemed like there were dozens of holiday parties to go to. This year, this is the time that there are dozens of virtual parties to go to. The benefit of virtual parties is that you don’t have to worry about driving from one location to another. You might get tired of sitting at your computer, but you can party hop a lot easier when they are virtual. I’ve been pretty lucky with the timing of virtual parties and they haven’t really been overlapping, but it has been keeping me busy.

In the past week, I think I’ve had 4 virtual parties. That’s not a ton, but it’s been more virtual hangout time than I normally do. But they have all been really fun parties. And one of them was a gift-opening party for one of my Secret Santa groups.

Not everyone who participated in our Secret Santa exchange was on our Zoom hangout, but we had a good-sized group. And most of the time we were on Zoom, we weren’t doing any Secret Santa stuff. We were being silly, sharing stories, and just having a nice time being social. This group is a Facebook group that I only know virtually. We’ve had other Zoom hangouts, but we’ve never met in person. And some of the people who were at the Secret Santa party were new to a Zoom hangout. It was so nice to be able to put voices to the profiles I’ve seen online.

I was a little late to this hangout because of work, but I only missed a little bit. But it was really nice to have it after work because it broke up my day. Even though I was still at my computer, it felt like a clear end time to work and start time for having fun. That’s something I’ve been missing a lot since the pandemic started. I used to try to run errands or something after work to have a clean break from work time. Now, I know I could go for a walk or something but I really don’t have a lot of opportunities to do much else.

It was so nice to have a nice just being social and having fun. And of course, we opened our presents while we were together on Zoom. The person I bought gifts for was on the Zoom, so I was able to see how happy she was with what I got her (I got her something she specifically said she wanted plus a few other things that I thought she might like). She seemed very excited to get the thing she asked for, and that made me really happy too.

My Secret Santa was not on the Zoom hangout, but I understood that not everyone could be there. But she got me some really amazing things! I got a candle that has my favorite scents, some nice hand cream, face masks, and chocolate!

I loved it! Nothing was extravagant, but they felt like special things since they weren’t things I usually buy for myself. And any presents I get from someone always feels special. Even though my Secret Santa doesn’t know me in real life, she picked out some really great things for me and I could tell that she paid attention to the forms we filled out with what we like.

Our virtual hangout ended up lasting several hours because we were all just enjoying talking to each other. I know we should try to do them more often, but it’s tough. We all have different schedules and I know many of us have Zoom fatigue. But this was such a nice time and so relaxing compared to many other things we all have to do on Zoom these days. We’ve all joked that when the pandemic is done, we will have to travel somewhere to all meet in real life. But for now, meeting up virtually is what we can do. And if I’m being honest, if we weren’t in a pandemic, I don’t think we would have done this. So making a lot of new friends is one good thing to come out of this really hard year.

Family Zoom Time (or Thanksgiving After Thanksgiving)

On Thanksgiving Day, I spent the day alone. I knew this was going to be how I spent the day. While I didn’t love it, I had accepted that would be my holiday and made it the best that I could. Cooking gave me something to focus on and I’m glad I wasn’t too focused on missing my family. But there was no way not to miss everyone. When you do something every year of your life, it’s weird to not have it happen.

About a month ago, my family started to discuss what we could do as a family for Thanksgiving since we wouldn’t be together. We had decided to do a Zoom hangout and had to plan when everyone would be available. Not everyone was going to be free on Thanksgiving Day, so we planned the Zoom to be on the Saturday after. I knew that I would only have an hour before I had to run the Netflix Party group that I have, but we were planning on trying to keep it under an hour. So it would work out perfectly for me!

On Saturday, I decided to try to look a little nicer than normal. I put makeup on and moved my computer to a place in my house that has better lighting. Even though my family wouldn’t care if I was backlit, I wanted to try to look nice. This was us trying to celebrate, so I should make an effort. And I logged into Zoom a few minutes before we were supposed to be on there and a few other people from my family had already joined in.

Once we were all there, it was almost everyone in my family. One of my cousins was working so he couldn’t be there. But everyone else was able to be online. And that included everyone showing off their pets (we have a few cats and a few dogs in the family). I tried to get a good screenshot of the family, and I think this one is cute. But the pets weren’t in this particular shot.

For a lot of my family, this was their first time getting to see Rory outside of pictures posted online. And occasionally, he seemed to be really into what was happening on screen and I think he recognized my voice and my parents’ voices. I’m still sad I didn’t get to see him again in person a few weeks ago, but I know I’ll get to see him again in a few months.

This was the first time we were all on a Zoom together. We tried to use the time to catch up on what everyone has been up to. That’s usually what we do when we are together at Thanksgiving, so that seemed normal. And a lot of people did have things to update us about. One of my cousins moved and bought a new house. Another cousin moved right before the pandemic and she was telling us about what they’ve been doing to their house and her kids were telling us about online school. And of course, Ross and Krystle had updates on Rory and Krystle’s pregnancy. I didn’t have much to update everyone on since I’m not doing much. But I liked hearing everyone else and feeling connected to my family. That was something I missed from my Thanksgiving and I’m glad I didn’t miss it completely.

I wish I didn’t have a time constraint, but I really did have to log off after an hour. I stayed on as long as I could, but I had to leave before everyone else did. But they all knew that I was running a Netflix Party so they understood. And from what my parents told me, everyone else logged off only a minute or two later. They were just all saying goodbye to each other.

I am very grateful for technology because it allowed us to be together virtually. It’s not as good as being together in person, but it’s better than having nothing at all. I can’t imagine what this time would be like if we couldn’t be together on Zoom. I can’t imagine how I’d be dealing with things if I didn’t have my virtual hangouts. But at the same time, I hope this is the only time we have to do Thanksgiving this way. I want to believe that by next Thanksgiving, it will be safe to travel and be together. I know we will be ok if we had to do another virtual Thanksgiving next year, but I’m hoping this was a one-time thing.

Another Family Day (or The Best Father/Daughter Project Yet)

As I mentioned the other day, I recently did a full 2-week quarantine so that I can spend time with my family. It’s not easy to do a full quarantine, but it’s worth it to see my family. I know I have to do this to make sure that I’m not sick and I don’t get anyone sick. If I wasn’t taking these precautious and someone got sick, I would never forgive myself. So doing the full quarantine is a small sacrifice to make in order to feel good about seeing people who I do not live with. I can’t wait until I don’t have to think about this before seeing my family (or being able to see my friends), but I just remind myself that this is will end eventually and it is what we have to do in order to have our future.

Just like my other recent visits with my family, this was just going to be for the day. It’s not that long of a drive (only about 90 minutes each way) and it’s just easier to be there for the day than it is to pack up everything that I would need to spend the night. Plus, if I was staying overnight, it would only get me a few more hours as I would be going home the next day. So doing a day trip is just easier for me. I’m sure my parents would love it if I stayed longer, but they understand why I don’t.

This time, we were going to be hanging out at the rental house my parents were staying at because they had the dog with them! I hadn’t seen Tucker since the baby shower, so I was so happy to see him. He can’t be inside my brother and sister-in-law’s house because they have a cat. So to let him hang out with all of us, we had to be where my parents were staying. But that also worked for another reason.

I take a lot of pride in finding awesome gifts for people, and I was starting to think of things I wanted to get for Rory. And something that kept coming up in random searches that I was doing was busy boards. A busy board is basically a collection of things that babies and toddlers like to play with such as light switches, doorknobs, wheels, different types of locks, and stuff like that. And while there were some really nice looking ones that I knew I couldn’t make, in general, they didn’t look too fancy and it seemed like something I could do. Or at least something my dad and I could do together.

So I talked to my dad a month or so about this idea. The original idea was to make this for Rory’s first birthday. So we weren’t in a rush for anything. We both said we would just look around to see what we could find that would be good things to put on a busy board. We didn’t think we would need to buy a ton of stuff. Most things could be random things we had as extras from other projects. And then a week or two before I was going to see my family, my dad and I started talking more about the type of board and holder we would use for this. We wanted to maybe work on it when we saw each other, but we had no idea how to actually make it stand up and be safe. We looked at a few different ideas online like artist easels and other pre-built things, but we ended that call not knowing what to do. I promised my dad I would do more research.

But the next day, my dad texted me to stop the search. I guess he got inspired because he went to the hardware store, bought some wood, and built this.

And it actually can flip and be used the other direction so it doesn’t have as much of an angle! This is way better than anything my dad and I were looking at online. I was shocked that he was able to build this and do it so quickly! And he said that he would have it painted before they were in Santa Barbara so we could work on adding the gadgets together.

We were going to have a few hours before my brother, sister-in-law, and nephew came over after I arrived; so when I got there my dad and I immediately got to work. We had a bunch of tools to drill holes and get everything in there safely. And we had figured out that we might give Rory his present early (instead of driving it back and forth) so we were extra motivated to get it done before they arrived! We had a little bit of planning to do so we could figure out what should go where, but that ended up being pretty quick. And we made an awesome team with getting everything installed. My dad did most of the hard work and I did the prep work (like getting the correct screws and washers ready). It still took us a few hours, but we got it done! And I am so proud of how it looks!

My dad and I have done a lot of projects together. It’s something we like to do and we are good at it. Our go-to ultimate project for a long time has been a screen door we built years ago. It came from a box with instructions, but we did have to do some customizations. But this busy board was completely from scratch. Honestly, I think it’s the greatest thing we have made and I still can’t believe how it looks. I’m so proud of it and this easily beats the screen door!

Rory is still a little too young for this, but he was fascinated by it. We let him try to play with it, and he was so interested in what things were. He just didn’t know how to do them just yet.

This photo is also the first time he sat up unassisted, so I guess the busy board motivated him to do that! And I know that as he gets a little older, he’ll love it even more. He’ll play with the different things that spin and move. And I hope it will keep him busy for a while so my brother and sister-in-law can get other work done and know that he is entertained! And in the future, my niece will hopefully enjoy playing with it too! I can’t wait to see him really enjoying it, but the few moments that he was playing with it while I was there was enough to make me feel so good about what we made.

Besides letting Rory play with the busy board, we had family dinner that night (the cookies I made were for dessert). We also spent some time hanging outside because the weather wasn’t too bad. And when we were outside, Tucker seemed to want to be a part of the conversation too.

After dinner, my brother and sister-in-law needed to go home to put Rory to bed. And I started to get my stuff together so I could drive home. I was able to spend almost 8 hours with my family, which really was awesome. Of course, more time would be better, but just those 8 hours revived me a bit. It had been so long since I had a hangout like that and I needed it.

And fortunately, I won’t have to wait too long before my next family hangout. Usually, my family does a big Thanksgiving with my extended family. But this year, that just isn’t possible. Between travel and trying to keep people safe and healthy, we just can’t get together like we normally do. So my immediate family is going to do our own little Thanksgiving. And because house rentals and other things are more expensive during the holiday, we are doing Thanksgiving a few weeks early (this was actually the original plan for the extended family Thanksgiving too). So I am only about 6 weeks away from seeing everyone again. That does mean that I am about 4 weeks away from another quarantine, but like always, it will be worth it. And I can’t wait until I get to see everyone and get to spend a few days with the family!

Another Virtual Friend Hangout (or Trying Not To Miss A Summer Tradition Too Much)

I remember before this year started, people were so excited when they saw that the 4th of July would be on a Saturday. I was excited too because I knew that meant I wouldn’t have an early morning the next morning. I love the 4th of July BBQs that I go to that Chris and Marie host.

When the pandemic started, I don’t think any of us expected it to last this long. When Memorial Day happened and we had a virtual hangout, I think we all assumed we would be together again soon. Even some of the reports were saying that LA might be able to reopen by the 4th of July. I knew that just because things could reopen didn’t mean that having a party would be safe. But I was using the date as a goal for the future and hoping that things would be starting to get back to how they were before by then.

But that didn’t happen. Cases are growing. We are lucky the death rate isn’t rising at the same speed, but that doesn’t mean things aren’t dangerous. We have no clue what the long-term health effects will be on someone who had COVID. I know people are tired of being home and want to go out and be social, but we just can’t do that now if we want this to be over soon. If more people stayed home and wore masks when they went out, we would be in a better position right now. But because of the actions of others, we cannot have things open and we need to stay home and away from others.

So as much as my friend group wanted to see each other for the 4th of July, it wasn’t possible. None of us wanted to risk the health of others by having a party. Plus, gatherings weren’t really allowed. But since we had already done one virtual holiday hangout, we were prepared to do another one. And that’s exactly what we did.

I wasn’t able to stay on our Zoom hangout as long as I would have liked to, but I was able to be on there for a while and see a lot of my friends. Everyone was so happy to see each other and we were all saying how much we missed being together in person. Some people had some really fun and creative Zoom backgrounds (even background videos) and that made us all laugh. Most of the conversation was just catching up with each other and making sure we are all doing ok. It wasn’t that different from how we spend parties catching up in person, but it felt extra nice to have people checking in on me and making sure everything was going ok.

Many of us live alone, so having some social interaction was really needed. I know I needed it. I still have some days where isolation is a huge struggle for me. I feel like I’m on my own little planet and there is nobody else out there that understands what I’m feeling. I know that isn’t true, but it’s hard to not feel that way. But I have noticed being more open about my struggle has helped as other friends have said they feel the same. Even though we all feel like we are on our own planets, at least we are starting to feel like we aren’t the only one out there feeling like that.

Because of something else I had scheduled on the 4th, I was only able to stay on Zoom for about an hour. But honestly, that hour meant so much to me. I needed that time with my friends. I needed that sense of almost normalcy. I needed to have more than just text messages or social media. I know that I could use some face to face time with friends more, but that’s not an option yet. I have to take what I can, and I need to take advantage of the moments I can get with friends. I felt so much better after just that hour and felt like I could handle things for a bit longer.

The next party that we would all be having together would be Labor Day, but I don’t think any of us are expecting to be able to be together then. It would be amazing if we could, but I think we are all hoping to be together again for Halloween. And we all know the costumes will probably be some of the best yet because it would be our big reunion as a group. I am trying to stay hopeful that by October we can safely be together. But if we can’t I guess we can do a Zoom Halloween party and share our costumes over video.

Virtual Memorial Day (or Doing The Best We Can For Now)

Usually for Memorial Day weekend, I spend time with my friends at a BBQ. It’s usually a pretty low-key hangout, but it’s a great opportunity to see my friends and spend some time having fun. Typically, I haven’t seen that group of friends since the Oscar party, so I am excited to see them. The same group gets together and we all get along so well. And we all have the same type of friendship with each other that we can just pick up wherever we left off and it doesn’t matter how long it’s been since we’ve seen each other.

But this year, of course, things are different. I don’t know if I realized that this BBQ wouldn’t be happening until recently. Time is a weird thing during this pandemic and I didn’t realize Memorial Day was almost here. But once I did notice it on the calendar, I started to get a bit sad. When this all started. I doubt anyone thought it would last until Memorial Day. Now, they are hoping for reopening around the 4th of July, but I also know that can be changed and maybe it will last longer than that. But I also know that this is necessary to keep us all as healthy as possible.

I messaged my friend Marie to see if they were going to do anything virtual for Memorial Day, and I think I messaged her just as they were starting to see what they could do. I was so glad that they were going to plan something so I could have a bit of my regular life on Memorial Day. They planned a big group Zoom hangout that was supposed to start at 1 pm. While I am usually one of the first people to their parties, I have never been the very first person. But I was the first guest that arrived at the virtual party.

It was so good to see Marie and Chris! I have missed all of my friends so much, and I haven’t gotten to see many of them virtually since this all started. I was so happy that I was tearing up at seeing familiar faces. And we had a few moments to chat before lots of other people were joining in! People were popping in and out, so there was never a time that I could have gotten a photo with everyone in the virtual party at one time but this shows a lot of people who were there.

There was a good-sized group the entire time I was in the Zoom party. I was able to stay for about 2 or 3 hours before I needed to leave and get some things done around my house. And yes, we did have some issues with people talking over each other since we had so many people there at once, but we also joked that the parties are like that in real life too.

And some people really did have some fun with the idea of a virtual party. Marie and Chris used a video for a virtual background and the video was a 30-minute loop that mainly was just their empty entryway but occasionally had them walking through the frame and opening doors. So it was like they had evil twins appearing from time to time. That made all of us laugh so much. Other people used other still images for virtual backgrounds. And one person made Chris and Marie’s house their background and that made us all smile. Some people even did outfit/costume changes from time to time, which was something special and unique with doing a virtual party. And of course, everyone who had a dog showed them off at some point. That was one of my favorite things.

There were a few moments when I felt sad because I really wanted to be with my friends in real life and not just seeing them on a screen. I was a little frustrated by seeing so many people around the country not keeping a distance from others and wishing that I could do the same. I don’t know if the people doing that don’t worry about this virus or where they live there are no cases. But in LA, there is no way I can believe that being around others would be ok right now. And I know that eventually, I will be with my friends again and the only way to keep us all healthy is to stay apart for now.

But even with the rare moments of sadness, for the most part this was an amazing way to try to spend time with some of the people I love. I would have been more upset if I hadn’t seen them at all. And we were all talking about how amazing it will be when we have our epic in-person reunion (we are all hoping we can do that for Halloween, but it will depend on a lot). Seeing friends virtually isn’t as great as being together in person, but it is so much better than not seeing them at all. And we all know how lucky we are that we were able to do this at all. To go through this pandemic without the internet would have been so much worse. But we can do virtual things like this and stay connected while having to be apart.

Having A Lot Of Repeat Days (or More Organizing and More Virtual Hangouts)

I know a lot of people feel like they are living the same day over and over again right now. This is probably happening a lot for people who are completely out of work. I am lucky with my work because I do still have some (even though the hours are a fraction of what they used to be). I know that 3 days a week, I work from 8-9 am with doing customer voicemails. And I do still have my other job, but those hours are limited too as I can’t find a lot of things to add to the calendar. I also have my workouts a few days a week, so that helps to make things feel a bit different. I usually know what day of the week it is based on if I have a workout or work that morning.

But besides those things, there isn’t a lot of variety in my day. I’m working on not just sitting in front of a screen all day long and trying to continue to be productive, but there have been days where sitting and watching tv is all I feel up to doing. And it’s not easy to find other things to fill my day with while staying inside and staying safe (and yes, I know I can go out for walks or drives, but it’s not the same).

I wrote about 2 different things I’ve been doing a lot of lately. And those are organizing my house and having virtual hangouts. Honestly, that’s all I’ve been doing a lot of lately to change things up. And I know these are good habits or activities to have, so I don’t feel as guilty as I do when I watch tv for hours on end.

Fortunately, doing organization in my house was long overdue, so there have been a lot of projects to work on. Some of the projects have been pushed off because I needed something to complete them, so now I have been ordering what I need. Because of the pandemic, there are shipping delays with some things, so I just work on what I can as I get things. And this week, I got these little drawer organizers that I had been looking at online. I know it’s hard to make them fit perfectly in my drawers, but I found some that don’t actually snap together so I can keep open space between them. My plan was to just organize my desk, but I had so many extras that I also did 2 of my kitchen drawers. I didn’t really get rid of anything as I did these projects, but it looks much better and my drawers look like there isn’t as much because there is some space to spare.

I’m sure I’ll continue to modify these over time, but for now, it’s so much better than it was and I can start working on the top of my desk and my file cabinet now.

And with my virtual hangouts, I’m trying to plan them with different groups of friends so I have them as often as I can. And the one group of friends that I had been working on scheduling one with is with my workout friends. Right now, we are spread over 3 states and we all have different schedules and things we have to do each day. So it hasn’t been easy to find a time that works for us all. But we were able to plan one for this past Friday. And I felt like that was the perfect time to do it because when we all worked out together, Fridays was the day we were all there!

And it was so nice to see my friends. We did talk about workouts briefly (I think I’m the only one doing the official home workouts regularly), but we mainly talked about all the random things we could think of. We were all laughing so much and laughing so hard that we were crying. I needed this virtual hangout so much and I didn’t realize how badly I needed it until it was done. It really boosted my mood and made my day so much better. And now that we’ve done one, I think everyone agrees that we need to do these more often.

I’m sure this week will continue to be filled with more organizing and virtual hangouts. I also have some ideas for new skills that I want to learn since I have so much free time. Anything that can change up my day a little bit is exactly what I need to do right now.

Finding A Social Life Where I Can (or Virtual Parties and Distance Hangouts)

I can write so many posts about how isolated I feel right now. I know that technically we are all isolating, but most people I know are isolating with others inside their home. They might be with family, roommates, a significant other, or a pet. But I am just alone. I know I’m not the only person living alone right now, but I think it just adds another layer to things right now that makes it tough.

I’ve been trying my best to not feel as isolated as I really am. But there are only so many things I can do. I’ve had a lot more phone calls with friends than I can ever remember. I’ve done video chats with friends that I never normally would do that with because they live so close. I’ve really tried to find ways to feel like I’m still connected to others out there, but my options are limited.

But I feel like there have been 2 things that make me feel so much more connected than anything else. The first is something that hasn’t happened that often. In fact, I think I’ve only had this happen a few times since isolation started. And that is having a friend come by for a social distance visit. Once this happened when a friend came by to borrow something from me and she was in her car and I was in my driveway. Another time was when a friend did some grocery shopping for me and I was in my car and she was in her driveway (yes, there is a bit of a theme here). And this week, my workout buddy Erin came by!

She was dropping off some stuff for me like hair dye to do my roots (which I know I don’t need to do but I appreciate the chance to not see my gray hairs!). We made sure we stood pretty far away from each other. I know the guidelines say to be 6 feet apart, but we were probably more like 12 or 15 feet apart. But it didn’t matter because it was so nice to see a friend! This was the most face to face time I’ve had with a friend in a while and I needed it. Just talking to a friend in person for a few minutes made my day (and my week) so much better! I know that right now it’s not necessarily safe to do hangouts like this often, but if I can do one once a month until it’s safer to have them more often, I think that will be so good for my mental health.

And the other thing that has been giving me a social life right now is my Netflix Party group that I have. The group has been going strong since we started it and I love knowing that on Wednesdays and Saturdays I will have a virtual hangout with the women in the group. We’ve changed things a little in the group since we started. Now, we are usually doing double features on Saturdays and we are trying to have a theme each week. And on Wednesdays, we are watching a tv series together. We did a vote and we are watching “Schitt’s Creek”, which is a show that I had been meaning to watch. We watch a few episodes each week and it’s been so fun.

And the group that does the parties has really bonded. We have a group text going which was originally set up to share the links for the movies we watch. But that group text has turned into an amazing support group. If someone is feeling lonely, they can write something and we all rally around them with support. When someone posted that they lost their job, some people replied with help with filing for unemployment, and others replied with other things they might need to do. And when it was a Friday and someone wrote that they were sad it wasn’t Saturday because they didn’t want to be alone, we scheduled an impromptu bonus movie night and were all watching a movie together within an hour. It’s been an amazing support system that I am so grateful for.

Right now, it’s not easy to feel connected to others (or others who don’t live in your home). We are all trying to figure out how to not feel alone, and there is no right answer. For right now, these things are what work for me and what feels right. If this continues for several more months, I might have a different plan. I just have to stay flexible with what I do to feel social and keep trying new things to see what will work for me.

Time For Traditional Cheesecake (or It Can Still Count As Celebrating The New Year)

I don’t have a ton of traditions that I do every year, but the few that I do have are very special to me. And one of the few traditions I have are dinners with my birthday twin. We have our (almost) free birthday dinner and we have dinner at the Cheesecake Factory around the new year. The birthday dinner is usually done very close to our birthday since we have to go during our birthday month to get our discounts. But our cheesecake dinner is a bit more flexible. Sometimes we go before the holidays and sometimes we go after the new year. But whenever we go, we have been pretty good about making sure we have our dinner even if it’s a month or so late.

This year, I decided to be proactive in making sure we got our dinner in as close to the new year as possible. I knew both of us are busy so it might be tough to figure out when we could make dinner plans. So I reached out Joanna right around the 1st to say we needed to plan our dinner. And we were able to find some time this week that worked for both of us after work. Since the restaurant we go to is closer to my side of town than it is for Joanna, I let her decide the best time for her to meet. We had to be a bit flexible with each other because our schedules ended up being a bit busier than we expected, but we managed to arrive within minutes of each other and we were quickly seated for dinner (which was a miracle since there is usually a 30-minute wait).

We actually had decided on our cheesecake choices before we decided on our dinners, but we wanted to get the food ordering out of the way first so we could eat and get to our catch up talk.

We usually talk about the same few topics whenever we meet up. We catch each other up on what’s happening with our families and acting careers. But the main thing we usually talk about is the craziness about the dating world. We both have had a lot of random stories to share over the years and I love that we both have stories so it’s not just me sharing them. And as always, we both had lots of dating updates to give each other. And since both of us take screenshots of the profiles of the guys we meet (it’s a safety thing), we could show each other who we’ve had dates with. I’m waiting for the day that she and I (or any friend I know who is dating) discover that we have gone out with the same guy. That hasn’t happened yet, but I bet one day it will happen.

Both of us have had some good and bad dating stories to share, so it wasn’t all crazy stories. And I think hearing a friend is going through the same ups and downs that I am helps me feel like I’m not alone in my random journey with dating. And we can also support each other which is another positive. We both have recently had situations that hurt a bit, so it was nice to get some in-person support. And even though I know dissecting what happened on dates doesn’t necessarily do any good, sometimes it’s nice to go over things and have someone else confirm that the situation was weird or that I didn’t do anything wrong.

And of course, being at the Cheesecake Factory we had to have cheesecake! We did our usual tradition of ordering 2 different types and each getting half of a slice. Things are so much easier now that we know we can ask them to cut each slice in half. 2 halves of a slice are so much cheesecake, but it’s so good!

After our dinner and cheesecake, we were both very full. Since the restaurant wasn’t crowded we didn’t feel too bad about hanging around there for a while. And also, our service was a bit slow so we had to wait a very long time to get our dessert and the check. We ended up being there much longer than I expected, but we had a great time being able to hang out and catch up. And it was nice not feeling rushed that we had to get out of there. But since we both had to work the next morning, we didn’t stay out too late because we both wanted to get home to get to bed at a decent hour.

Every time Joanna and I meet up, we say that we need to hang out more often than our 2 traditions. But our schedules don’t always work that way and before we know it it’s time to have one of our traditional meals again. We do make efforts to see each other more than twice a year, but at least I know we will have our birthday dinner in August for our next catch up if we don’t have one sooner.

A Fun Union Hangout (or Hopefully This Is The Start Of A New Regular Thing)

So much of my work with Unite For Strength has to do with serious things. A lot of my work is related to our election or different negotiations. And my year-round work with them is making sure our social media is a good source of information. That’s slightly less serious, but it’s still more about the business side of union service and not the creative or entertaining sides of it. I don’t mind that because I have realized how important the serious and business sides are, but I have wanted to get to know my fellow slate members in a more fun way.

And this past weekend, I finally got that chance. We had a casual get together for friends and supporters of Unite For Strength. We did have some business that ended up being discussed, but this wasn’t about preparing for an election or a contract negotiation. It was more about getting to know each other and seeing what we are interested in doing with our union service and what concerns we might have.

Having hangouts like this have been discussed among the slate for a while. I know that during election season we just don’t have the time or ability to plan things. And in the past, there has been a lot of focus on the serious work that needs to be done after people are elected. But now, I think we finally have the ability to do some more fun stuff as a group. There are more people who are leaders within the slate (technically I’m one of the newer leaders even if I don’t think of myself that way). So having more people to handle things means that people aren’t getting overwhelmed. We don’t have a specific person who is going to focus on fun events, but at least everyone has a bit more time to be able to contribute.

And I’m so excited to have more of these events because I want to bring friends with me to them. A huge thing that I am passionate about in the union is educating my fellow members. And I know this is something that almost all of us in the slate believe in doing. But getting people to attend official union events can seem intimidating. I’ve been trying to get people to join me as an observer for a local board meeting and that’s a struggle. Even though all you do there is sit and watch, it’s scary. And I get that. I was nervous about being an observer too. But now that I’ve done it, I see how silly my fear was.

But it’s hard to tell other people not to be scared if they haven’t gone before. So having some fun events where I know informed people will be there is a good option. It won’t be the same as an official union event, but it can be a way to ease into things or meet people who might be at the union events so that it won’t feel like you won’t know anyone there. Plus, I love everyone who is a part of my slate. These people are some of the most inspirational and informed actors I know and I would love for my friends to get to know them too. I feel so lucky that these people are my peers and some of them have also become my friends. I always seem to have pinch-me moments when I’m with them.

We don’t have our next casual hangout for Unite For Strength planned just yet, but seeing the response from others at the one we had has motivated me to make sure that we get a few planned. I want to keep this going because it’s also a great reminder for us to make sure that we are involved throughout the year and not just during elections. And it helps us get to know each other better so it’s not as odd to reach out to someone to ask for help or get a question answered. Being familiar with each other can only benefit us when we have to work hard together.

I hope that I will be writing about another event that we have as a slate soon. But even if it takes us a while to figure out things, I’m just glad that I got to spend an awesome afternoon with all of these amazing union members and that I got to do more with my slate that isn’t as serious.

Another OTF Hangout (or Having Fun Being Social In Normal Clothes)

I feel like since the Culver City Orangetheory location opened, I’ve really been taking advantage of the different social events and hangouts. While the Brentwood location was not far from my house, I didn’t want to drive back over there after I went home after a workout. And if the hangout was a day I wasn’t over on that side of LA already, I usually didn’t feel motivated to go over there. But now that most of the Culver City hangouts are within minutes of my house, I try to make it to them as long as they fit into my schedule.

There have been a few different events like hikes that take place on Saturdays when I am working, so I can’t go to those. But there have also been beach days and happy hours that either are after I’m done with work or a long enough event that I can go after work. I have never been a part of a workout community like I am a part of at OTF. I have made some great friends in class since I take the same classes each week, but also just having the general community around the workouts has been special. It’s always fun getting to hang out with workout people outside of workouts. I especially get a kick out of it because people seem to always be surprised that I have long hair. I guess I hide that well by putting my hair up for the workouts.

This past Saturday was another Culver City OTF hangout. This was at Kay’n’Daves which is pretty close to my house. Even though it’s near my house, I haven’t eaten there at that location before. They had a location near an old job of mine over 10 years ago and I remember having it once then. But it still felt like a new place for me. We had the back patio reserved for us, which was nice because we knew everyone back there was a part of OTF and we didn’t have to wonder if we were bothering someone who was just at the restaurant on their own.

I got there before the event was supposed to start because my friend Andie was there early because she had to leave for work soon after it started. But that worked for me because we were able to sit at a table right in the center of the patio and enjoy people watching while others arrived. And some of the staff arrived right after we sat down so it didn’t feel like we were there before things started.

Kay’n’Daves was pretty awesome and allowed us to order from their happy hour menu while we were there. I didn’t order anything (I wasn’t that hungry and I didn’t want to spend money if I didn’t have to), so I just had water and chips. But everything that everyone else ordered looked so good and it was tempting. But I’ll just have to go back another time to try things.

The patio quickly filled up with OTF people. There were some that I recognized from class, but I also don’t know that many people who are in different class times. If they are in much earlier classes I take or the afternoon and evening classes, I don’t see them. But that’s one of the benefits of going to these hangouts. I get to know people who are a part of the community even if I don’t see them in class. And it’s nice to have that because there are random times I have to take a class that is a different time than I’m used to. And hopefully, I’ll know at least one person in class that I met at a happy hour event.

It was also fun getting to hang out with one of my coaches there. Even though our coaches get to know us well since they see us every week, it’s different when you get to spend real time chatting and getting to know them. Again, anything that builds up the community feels like a real benefit to me.

I stayed at the happy hour later than I was planning on staying. I had some work things I still had to finish doing so I knew I couldn’t stay forever. But I was there for about 3 hours which allowed me to relax and spend lots of time getting to talk to the people who were there. I got to know the people I know from class better and I met so many new people. It really was the perfect event and I felt even more connected to OTF when I left.

I know there will be more social events coming up and this gives me more motivation to keep trying to make it to as many as I can.