Tag Archives: hair

A Couple Of Beauty Days (or More Prep For My Trip)

As I have written about before, since the pandemic I have really cut back on the regular beauty things I used to do. I know I could have gone back to doing some of the things I used to do, but I just wasn’t that motivated. Either they didn’t seem as important to me as they used to, I still was a bit cautious about Covid, or I didn’t feel like I needed to do them because I really don’t do as much as I used to. The only thing that I really kept up with was getting my hair done. And I think I’m better about getting my hair done regularly now than before.

But since I knew I would be seeing my family for our Fake Thanksgiving, I wanted to make sure I did what I needed to do to feel my best. Most of the beauty things I used to do wouldn’t matter for this trip (like getting a pedicure when I was going to a cold place and nobody would see my toes). But I did time getting my hair done so I would get my hair dyed right before my trip and it would look the best it could. I actually planned ahead before my last appointment so this one would be exactly 6 weeks after the last one. I try to do my hair every 6-8 weeks, so that would work out perfectly!

Since getting my hair done was the one thing I really kept up with, it does feel a bit more like maintenance than beauty. But there is still a difference in how I feel after an appointment. I know that a lot of people have been growing out their gray hair, but I’m just not there yet. I know I have a lot of gray hair, but it’s not really concentrated in one spot so they seem to just stick out. And most people who are my age and have gone gray usually have patches or streaks which makes it seem more like a style choice. One day, I’m sure I’ll just let go of my feeling about gray hair and let it be. But that’s not how I feel now. So getting my hair dyed and not having to see the grays is still something important to me.

But because my last appointment was only 6 weeks ago, the roots weren’t as obvious as they have been before. And my hair wasn’t looking scraggly so I didn’t need a bit cut. Even a trim helps to make things look polished, so I was very happy with how I looked after my appointment. And I knew that my hair was going to look great when I saw my family.

But going to get my hair done wasn’t all I did before the trip. I also got my eyebrows done for the first time since the pandemic! I used to regularly go to get my eyebrows done. I don’t need it as badly as I did before because I think getting them waxed for a few decades has led to some of the hair follicles dying. But I still like to have a professional do them so they look polished. I also know that I can’t always be trusted with tweezers and I don’t want to overpluck them.

The place I usually go to get my eyebrows done is inside a beauty store in a mall. I don’t normally go to malls, and I certainly hadn’t been in one since the pandemic. It was weird seeing things that felt normal but also not normal at the same time. I know that everyone has different comfort levels with how things are now, and I’m still very cautious. But I wore a mask and I was glad that I didn’t have to go too many places to get to the eyebrow place.

Most of what I needed to be done was to get them shaped. The esthetician did wax my brows to clean them up, but more time was focused on detail work. I appreciated her attention to detail and how she worked with me on what I preferred. And when they were done, my eyebrows looked so nice! It wasn’t a drastic difference compared to what I’ve been able to do on my own, but there’s just something extra when someone else makes things look as good as possible. And I didn’t realize until after the appointment how much I needed this. It really was something that helped me feel so much like myself and I felt just that much more confident about how I looked.

There were plenty of things that were making me nervous about my trip. I had been having a lot of anxiety the week leading up to it. But getting a few different beauty things done before I left really allowed me to spend some time on positive things that were distractions from the nerves.

Starting To Get Annoyed With My Hair (or I Wish This Didn’t Bother Me As Much)

I got my hair done last week since I was due for at least a root touch-up. I’m trying to be good about going every 6-8 weeks for my hair since I know that is ideal. And I wanted to time my hair with seeing my family in just over a month. So going last week will make it exactly 6 weeks until the day I’m hoping to get it done next. I think that worked out perfectly.

My hair has been an interesting journey over my lifetime. I used to have insanely thick hair and it felt unmanageable at times. Then I started to lose my hair when I was 14 and that was another journey to go on. I was lucky then because my hair was so thick that you didn’t see the bald spots unless I had my hair back. And my hair did grow back after a few months, so that first experience with alopecia wasn’t too bad. But I have been mindful of the fact that I get bald spots since then and I knew from that point that I could experience other types of hair loss as well.

I got my first few gray hairs when I was in my early 20s, but there were really only a few and it didn’t bother me too much since they weren’t that obvious. But also in my 20s, I noticed my hair getting much thinner. The individual strands were getting thinner and I had less hair overall on my head. I wasn’t experiencing as many bald spots or as frequently, but this new type of hair loss almost felt worse.

I try to be careful with what I do to my hair so I don’t damage it more. I rarely use heat on my hair. I don’t love airdrying it, but I know that’s the better option for me. So I normally let it air dry and put it back in a clip, so I don’t notice how frizzy it is. I’m careful with what products I use and try to make sure any hair ties I use don’t have any metal parts so they don’t rip out my hair. But even with all the things I do to protect my hair as much as I can, it’s not getting any better.

I know that having my hair go gray isn’t due to any of my own actions. Some people go gray earlier than others and it can be at very different rates. I only had a few gray hairs for a long time before it seems like I noticed a ton of my hair had gone gray. And I can’t tell now if it’s getting worse or not, but it’s a significant amount of my hair. I do love the idea of letting my hair go natural and not caring, but I think it almost needs to be grayer than it is now.

And what I think makes my gray hair stand out more is that my hair is getting even thinner. I can see my scalp a lot when I have my hair down. I miss feeling like I had fuller hair and now it makes me sad when I see how scraggly it can look at times. That’s another reason why I tend to wear my hair up in a clip. When I put it back like that, I can usually make the front look a bit better.

I have looked into getting a hair topper and I’m still considering it because I know that will help both the thinning and gray roots. If I have a topper on top of my regular hair, my gray roots won’t be showing through it. I know that I will still see gray hair when if I’m not wearing the topper, but I can feel more confident when I’m in public.

I know this is very superficial and it doesn’t matter if my hair is falling out or going gray, but it bothers me. It’s not an aging thing, it’s just something that doesn’t make me feel like myself. And I miss the days when I wasn’t worried about these things. Before my hair got as gray as it is now, I remember being pretty lazy about getting my hair done because my roots weren’t as bad as they are now. I remember not stressing out about what my hairline looks like and wondering if I need to put some powder on my scalp so it’s not so obvious. I used to be so carefree about my hair and now it’s something that I really worry about. And I do wish I didn’t care, but I do. I’m not sure why it’s such a thing for me, nobody has ever said anything weird about my hair when it wasn’t looking the best. But it really is a thing for me when I have a bad hair day. I don’t avoid seeing people or anything, but my confidence is much lower when I don’t think my hair looks good.

At least getting my hair done last week helped with me not being down about having gray roots since they are all covered up. But the thinning hair will always be an issue for me. While my hair was being cut, I tried to not look in the mirror since I know sometimes when it’s being clipped up to separate sections, it can look even thinner than it is. So I just zoned out a bit and only looked when it was done. And it does look great. I think my hair always looks amazing after it’s done, and then a few weeks later I start seeing my roots come in again and the cycle of my feelings about my hair continues.

Making Sure I Have Nice Birthday Hair (or Sometimes The Timing Works Out Nicely)

I try to stay on top of getting my hair done at regular intervals. I wasn’t always great about this, but I’ve been doing a lot better lately about scheduling my appointments to be about every 6 weeks apart. I think not being able to get my hair done when everything was shut down kicked my butt into gear about not slacking off. I also think between stress and my hair loss getting worse, I’m noticing my gray hair quicker than before. I don’t know if I have more gray hair or not, but as my hair gets thinner I feel like any gray hair stands out more.

Because I’m doing my hair pretty much every 6-8 weeks, the timing isn’t always with things that I would like my hair to look nice for. If it’s close, I might get my hair done earlier or later, but since I’m trying to stay on schedule, I don’t change it up too much. So when things do align, it’s always nice.

After the last time I got my hair done, I realized that the next time I was due would be right before my birthday, so that was perfect! And because of my hairstylist’s schedule, it worked out for me to go in a week before my birthday. It might have been nice to get my hair done the day before my birthday so my hair was extra nice on my actual birthday, but because I don’t think I will do much for my birthday it doesn’t matter too much. I just was happy that I would have my hair freshly dyed for any birthday things I might do.

I was planning on getting a hair topper to cover my thinning hair (and the gray hair), which would be like a partial wig that just clips into my hair. And I was hoping to get this done before my appointment. But because of the timing of life and me just slacking off on remembering to do it, I didn’t get it in time. I do want to order it and bring it with me to my appointment because it will likely need to be dyed and styled to match my hair. They aren’t cheap, and I’ve tried to cut back on spending so it’s something that I do need to double-check that I’ve got money to spend on it right now. But I think I should be able to get the money together before my next appointment. It’s more of a matter of remembering to do it and having my hairstylist confirm I’m ordering the right base color and length.

But no matter what, at least now my hair is refreshed and looking nice so it should look good during anything I end up doing for my birthday. And while I don’t mind getting older, I do really dislike the gray I have in my hair. I think if it was more concentrated like in a streak, I might not mind it as much. But because it is sporadic and sticks out so much in my hair, I just don’t like the look. I have seen more and more people who have grown out their gray hair and I think I would love to do that one day. But I would need to be basically completely gray before I take that plunge. And I don’t know if I would just let it all naturally grow out or if I would strip the color and dye it gray so you don’t see it as gray roots. But I think I have a while before I will consider doing that so I’m not going to worry about it for now.

For now, I’m just glad that I’m continuing at least one regular beauty routine. I still haven’t gone back to anything else that I used to do, but I have thought more about getting other stuff done that I miss. I just need to make a plan for those and consider the risk factor of going. I’m lucky that for my hair, a friend of mine does it and the salon usually has very few if any other people in there. But for anything else I might go back to, I just have to think more about it and decide what will be right.

One day in the future, I will have a better routine for beauty/self-care things. But at least right now I have my hair done and am ready to celebrate my birthday this month!

It Might Be Time To Change Up My Hair A Bit (or Another Big Purchase I’ll Have)

I’ve written about getting my hair done a lot on here. And it’s something that I really do feel is not just about looking good. I see it as something routine, almost like teeth cleaning. I know I could go without getting my hair done and I had to do that at the beginning of the pandemic when I was just coloring my roots at home alone. My hair got pretty stringy while I couldn’t get it cut and I wasn’t going to cut it myself. But now, I’m back to regular appointments to get my hair done, and it really is a nice routine to have.

My hair has been the same for a while, and I am debating about doing some changes in the near future. I need to get new headshots done, so it’s best to do a change right before a shoot so my new headshots would reflect the new look. I don’t think I would change up my look too much because I do like how my hair is, but maybe I should change up some of the styling or do a slightly different color.

But there is a change I’m planning for my hair that I’m excited about. And it will serve a few different purposes. I’m looking into getting a hair topper. This isn’t exactly like getting a wig (which I have debated about before). But this will be just covering the top of my hair so I will need to make sure it matches my own hair. So if I’m changing up the cut or color, I will need to do that first and then buy it so I can match the new look. But the ones I’m looking at are real hair, so they should be able to be dyed to match.

My hair has been thinning since I was a teenager. I have alopecia, so I have a history of losing sections of my hair. In the past, it’s been concentrated in certain areas so I had bald spots. More often now, it’s just overall hair loss. I don’t know if I’ll eventually lose all of my hair, but it is a possibility. But because of how much I’m losing and since it is all over, my hair looks really thin. I know that it bothers me more than others likely notice, but having a topper will help to cover up how thin my hair is and it will look thicker without having to do something damaging like extensions. Also, this will help to cover up my gray hair as it grows in between hair appointments. Just like the thin hair, I am sure I notice my grays more than anyone else does, but I don’t like seeing them. And because I can’t always dye my hair, there are always a few weeks that they seem really noticeable to me. So if you aren’t seeing the top of my hair, you won’t see the gray growth as it comes in.

Because I want to get a human hair topper and I want to get one that is going to last, it’s not cheap. I don’t need this right now, so I am going to work on saving up for it and make sure I can pay for it in full from my credit card when I order. But I will be spending a lot instead of going cheap because I know that having human hair will be better than synthetic and it will be easier to make changes so it blends in nicely with my own hair. I also want one that will work even if my hair loss gets a bit worse. I know if it gets really bad, I would need a wig instead. But having a good topper should be able to cover any bald spots I get and thinning as it might get worse. I know this might not be a forever solution, but I’m looking for something long-term.

I know getting a topper will make my hair look different since it will look fuller, but I want to decide before my next appointment if I’m going to do a bigger change so I can be prepared to order the topper as soon as I have saved up for it. And yes, I’m aware of how superficial this might sound and how silly it is, but for me, it is a big deal. There are a lot of things that I’m self-conscious about and a lot of them can’t be changed that easily. This is one that should be simple to fix and not take a lot of time or an insane amount of money. And hopefully, not feeling self-conscious about my hair will just be one thing off of my mind so I can focus on other things.

Another Hair Appointment (or Still Not Quite The New Normal)

Getting my hair done is a regular part of my life and before 2020 it was a very routine and normal thing to do. Sometimes I changed up my hair a lot and that was exciting or I had something else crazy happened at my appointment, but for the most part, it was something normal and it didn’t mean much more than me just getting my hair done and feeling more like myself when I left my appointment.

But since the pandemic, my hair appointments meant a lot more to me. At the beginning of the pandemic, I was doing my hair at home and that was a very odd thing for me. It was really a sign of the times and how we had to all be isolated from each other. I remember the first time my friend Erin brought some hair dye over for me and she put it at the end of my driveway while I stood away and then she backed away so I could pick it up. That’s how worried we were about being near each other.

Then it transitioned to me going to Erin’s apartment for my hair to be done. Salons were not open at that time, but she had everything needed at her apartment to make it a normal appointment for me. I was able to have her dye my hair properly (instead of me doing it at home) and she could also cut and style it. I know the first time she cut my hair, I really needed it because it had been so long since my last haircut. And those appointments at her place also changed throughout the pandemic. We started both being masked up and staying away from each other when we could (which was mainly when we were letting the hair dye set). Then after we were vaccinated, we weren’t being masked while in her place, but we both knew that the other was being careful so it was a risk we were willing to take.

And then finally, salons reopened and I was able to go to get my hair done in a salon again. It wasn’t that different from the appointments at Erin’s place, but it was still another step toward what felt like normal life again. And I’ve been lucky that whenever I have booked an appointment, it hasn’t been that crowded at the salon. Even while wearing a mask, I do feel better not being around a ton of people that I don’t know especially if they aren’t requiring proof of vaccination.

I went to get my hair done again this past week and it’s another transition toward what the old normal was like. Masks aren’t required, but both Erin and I were wearing them. The salon only had 2 other people in it, but I still wear a mask most places I go in public. It’s a very simple thing I can do to keep myself safe, especially when there are debates happening now about how long the booster vaccine keeps everyone safe.

But just like every time I’ve done my hair, whether at my home or in a salon, getting my hair done really boosts my confidence and how I feel. I don’t like seeing the gray hair I have as it grows in and I do have things I can use at home to help cover it up. But getting my hair dyed always makes me feel more like myself and I am always so happy when it’s done.

I had waited a bit longer than normal between appointments this time, so it was even nicer to feel like my hair was refreshed and the way I want it. And I also really needed a haircut so getting that done felt great too. I didn’t do anything drastic, but it needed a trim and shaping. I clip my hair back most days so I don’t notice how scraggly it can be sometimes, but now it feels polished and much better.

When I go for my next hair appointment, who knows what it will be like. Every time it is different with how normal or not normal it feels. And I never can predict what will happen since things are constantly changing and also can change so quickly. But I guess I will see what it’s like and see how close or far to normal it is like then.

Keeping Up With One Beauty Routine (or A Mix Of Old Normal and New Normal)

There are still so many things I haven’t brought back into my life since the pandemic started. I had a long time without most of my normal routines, then I added in a few things, but I haven’t added much lately. There are a few things that I think are holding me back from adding back some routines. Money is the main reason, even though I am doing better now than I was before. A few other things seem silly when my life still isn’t back to normal yet. And then there are a few other things that I debate about starting up again but I’m just too lazy to make the effort. But like I’ve said before, having just a few things back in my life makes those feel a bit more special.

And the main thing I brought back into my life and pretty much maintained during the pandemic was getting my hair done. It wasn’t always the way I was used to doing, especially when I was dyeing my hair at home. But I’ve gotten back to a more normal routine with my hair getting done and I’m always happy to have fresh color. I hate seeing how much gray I have in my hair, so getting that covered up makes me feel much more like myself.

And I’m making an effort to be getting my hair done at regular intervals so it doesn’t get too unmanageable. But I also try to time it out so I will have nice hair before something I’m looking forward to. For example, the last time I did my hair was right before my birthday. And this time, I had a few different things coming up where I knew I’d see people, so I wanted to make sure I got an appointment in before I had social time.

Fortunately, even with my longer schedule, I can find time to make an appointment. It helps that I have Sundays off and my friend works then so I can go in. And that’s exactly what I did this past Sunday.

It is still weird for me to go out and be around a lot of other people. The salon wasn’t very crowded, so that made me feel better. And masks are still required so that helped my anxiety a bit too. But it still feels a bit like I’m doing something I shouldn’t since I’m used to being at home so much. But I know I need to look at what I can have in my life and not put myself at too much of a risk. And even though a salon is technically indoors, the door was open so there was fresh air and everyone had their masks on and didn’t wear them below their nose or anything like that.

And just like the other times I’ve gotten my hair done since the pandemic, this was a nice break from being alone and a great way to catch up with a friend. Even though we work out together, we don’t really get to chat too much in the workout. So having a few hours while my hair is getting done is the perfect time to have a catchup chat and fun.

And while it does still feel weird to be out and I’m not always used to wearing a mask, it was a nice moment that reminded me of the old normal and my old life. It’s a simple thing that brings me joy and reminds me that this time is temporary. One day, we will be past the pandemic and I won’t have to be as fearful about getting sick. I might still be a bit more anxious and worried about getting sick than I used to, but I know it won’t always be as bad as it is now. And even now is so much better than it was a few months ago or last year. Maybe in a few more months, there will be another improvement with how things are going. The one thing I know from this pandemic is that making predictions isn’t always the smartest thing. My only prediction is that it will get better, I just don’t know when.

But until things are better and my life is even more like the old normal, I just have to appreciate these little moments that remind me of my old life and make me think about continuing to enjoy them in the future.

Some Beauty Fun Before My Birthday (or Working While Trying To Relax)

As I wrote yesterday, we are fully into election season for my union election now. This is going to be a big part of my life for the next month until the ballots are counted. I still have to do my normal stuff while doing election stuff, but I know I will find ways to fit it in. I won’t be doing campaign stuff in person, so maybe saving that commute time will help me.

The good and bad part about doing social media work is that my phone can always be with me. I do try to have breaks when I’m not looking at every notification, but it’s hard when things are so crazy as they are now. But I do try to time out when I’m actively working to be when I don’t have to focus on other things. And then I can monitor social media and respond to comments when it’s not my full focus. And that’s exactly what I was doing this week.

I got my hair done pretty recently, but it was starting to grow out and all my gray hair was showing a lot. Normally, I’d wait another few weeks before getting my hair done since I don’t need to go all the time. I’m trying to be better about doing my hair at regular intervals and not letting several months go by. I think 6-8 weeks between appointments is probably ideal. But this time, it was only 5 weeks but I wanted to get my hair done so it would be nice for my birthday.

Even though I have nothing planned for my birthday, I like the idea of having my hair look nice even if I’m celebrating at home alone. So I messaged my friend who has been doing my hair to see if she could fit me in sometime this week. She had availability after I was done with work so that was perfect for me! Of course, I hadn’t planned that would be the day I posted a ton of things to my slate’s social media and I would need to be tracking a lot of stuff that afternoon.

But it all worked out fine. I tried to not always have my face in my phone and to spend the time also catching up with my friend. We haven’t been working out together lately, so it’s been a while since we’ve seen each other and we were catching each other up on our lives. Both of us haven’t been doing a lot because we are trying to stay safe, but it was still nice to have some time to catch up with a friend since I have so few hangouts these days that are in person. So I tried to focus on being present when she was putting my color on and then doing my work while we were waiting for the color to set.

Also, regarding the mask, this is the mask my friend gave me the first time she did my hair during the pandemic because she had an extra KN95 mask. I’ve pretty much only worn it when getting my hair done, so it’s got a bit of hair dye on it. But I also don’t mind if it gets more dye on it since I consider it my hair dye mask and I don’t wear one that I worry about getting dirty.

I was at the salon for about an hour and a half before my hair was done. I only got it dyed and not trimmed, so it was a little less expensive than normal. And I’ll get a trim when I go back in 6 weeks (or whenever I end up making it back). But just having fresh hair color makes me so happy and, like I’ve said so many times before, it makes me feel more like myself. My hair is a bit of a struggle sometimes. Between going gray since I was in color plus losing my hair with alopecia, it doesn’t always look how I want it to. And I have explored options to help, like partial wigs, that might help both issues. I just haven’t looked too much into it. But the more I get my hair done, the more I’m really starting to think I should consider it. If it makes me happy, why not?

But at least for now, I have nice-looking hair for my birthday and that’s something that brings me so much joy. And I don’t have to stress about covering up my gray hair when I have so much else to stress out about this month.

Hair And Groceries (or Being Out And About When Masks Aren’t Required)

I wrote last week about how I was nervous about going out and doing things now that things have reopened and masks were no longer required for people who are vaccinated. I would probably feel differently if I knew that the people without masks were really people who were vaccinated, but since they aren’t currently requiring proof I can’t know that for sure. I do know that a lot of people in LA have been vaccinated and we are having lower case rates than many places around the country. But there are still cases every day and it is slightly increasing right now. This is nothing like the surges in the past and I don’t know if the new cases could be all unvaccinated people. So I have to continue to believe that things really are getting better, even if they aren’t completely better yet.

I wasn’t sure how soon I’d be going out and doing errands and other things now that things are reopened. I really thought it might take a week or so to feel ok. But it turns out that it happened over the weekend when I had a few things to do on Sunday.

First, I got my hair done on Sunday. This isn’t the first time I’ve had my hair done since the shutdown nor is it the first time I was in a hair salon since. I went to my friend Erin’s salon toward the end of last year to have her do my hair. When I went then, we both knew that we had to be careful. We were both in KN95 masks and there weren’t any other people in the salon. But besides that time, I either dyed my hair at home or I went to Erin’s house to have her do it. And originally, I thought I was going to go to her house to have my hair done, but she’s at a new salon now and wasn’t able to have me come to her place. But we picked a day and time when there weren’t a lot of other people with appointments.

It is weird to figure out if it’s ok to not wear a mask or not. I know that I am pretty safe since I am vaccinated, but I also don’t want to make a dumb decision. But with Erin, we are at Orangetheory together without masks, so I wasn’t as worried about being around her. I did keep my mask on for some of my appointment and had it off for other parts of it. I will say, being without a mask in public does seem really odd to me. It’s weird how quickly this has become a part of what feels normal, especially when it did take me some time to be comfortable with it.

I’m glad I got my hair done and I’m glad I’m back to a somewhat regular routine with it. I haven’t started back with other parts of my beauty and self-care routine that I don’t do at home, but I know that will come eventually. I think getting used to things one at a time is going to be key for me and my anxiety.

Since I was already out and about, I decided to go to the grocery store too. I know that I can still get groceries delivered and I do plan on continuing that for a while for some things, but I’m trying to get back to being not as isolated all the time. Plus, I wanted to go to Trader Joe’s and I can’t get things delivered from there (and some things are only found at Trader Joe’s). I knew that whatever the policy was there, I was going to wear my mask. The store isn’t that big and people can be close together. And for me, it was important to feel ok with being there and that required wearing a mask.

There was a sign in front saying their policy was that vaccinated people had the option to be without a mask but if you were unvaccinated you were required to wear one. And just like everywhere else, this was on the honor policy. But I will say almost everyone inside was wearing a mask. It was pretty crowded since I was there on a Sunday afternoon, and I think I only saw 3 or 4 people without masks. Nobody was making wearing a mask a big deal and it seemed like we all knew that it was just as normal of a thing to do as wearing shoes. Seeing that a majority of the people there were wearing masks made me feel much better about going out for groceries and not letting my anxiety or fear stop me and only use delivery services.

It will really be baby steps back to my normal life unless a miracle happens and there are no more cases anywhere. I don’t think that will happen and it will hopefully slowly be getting better until things are like they used to be. And if there are better treatment options for COVID so getting it would be more like getting a cold or the regular flu, then that will help too. But knowing how dangerous it can be and how bad the long-term symptoms can affect someone makes me feel like I have to be careful to stay safe.

But I’m glad that I didn’t continue to let fear or anxiety stop me and I started to rejoin the world again. It’s been a long 15 months and I am ready to see what else in my old life I can regain and enjoy again.

Continuing To Get Back To Some Of My Old Routine (or I Really Appreciate Self-Care So Much Now)

I’ve written a lot over the past year about how I miss things from my old life that were a part of a regular routine. Some of these things were related to going out or my workouts. And some of them were related to self-care. At times, I was embarrassed about how much I missed some of my self-care routines. I know it’s not that important to have my hair done or to get a pedicure, but those are things that make me feel like myself or bring me joy. And not having them has been hard, especially when compounded with everything else that’s been going on in our world this past year.

There are plenty of self-care routines that I’m still putting off for a little while. As much as I miss pedicures, I can wait longer before I go in for one. This isn’t just for my own safety and health (even though I’m vaccinated, that doesn’t mean I don’t have to be careful), but also for the safety and health of the employees at the salon. And I’m still waiting on getting waxed even though I know the waxer I go to is working again. For me, waxing isn’t just a vanity thing but one of the only safe hair removal options for my upper legs with my autoimmune condition. Shaving can actually be very painful and cause issues with my skin, so I avoid it when I can. I know there are other options besides waxing (there is a chance that laser hair removal could partially be covered by insurance and I’m planning on asking about that soon), so I can wait a little longer before going back to waxing. I don’t love having to wait, but it’s easier on me to wait on that than it is for me to wait on getting my hair cut or colored.

Getting my hair done this past year has been interesting. I know I don’t need to get it cut or colored, but it’s really hard on me when it’s not colored and my gray hair seems out of control. At the beginning of the pandemic, I was coloring my hair at home. It wasn’t perfect, but it worked. And even though my hair was getting long and a bit scraggly, since I keep it away from my face at home it didn’t bother me too much. There have been times where I really didn’t pay attention to how long my hair got until it seemed almost out of control. But I would just put it back in a clip and not think about it more than that.

I have slowly started to get back to having my hair done more professionally. I’ve been back to a salon once when there weren’t many people around (and we were masked) and I went to my friend’s house to have her do my hair as well. I waited a bit longer than normal between those appointments, but that was partially due to feeling like it was a bit of a risk going even with all the precautions because I wasn’t vaccinated. But now that I’m vaccinated, it’s a little less stressful for me to think about getting my hair done with my friend at her house.

So last week, I got my hair done again. It was at her house again and we were masked, so it felt like we were keeping things as safe as we could. This time, it was a cut and color so I feel even more like myself. I didn’t do anything drastic even though I’m tempted to do so. I just wanted to have my hair look like me again. And that’s exactly what I got to do when I had my hair done. And not only did I have a boost in my mental health from having my hair done and feeling like myself, but I also got to have hangout time with a friend which is something else I don’t get to do that often!

I know that I’ve always appreciated having my hair done or doing any other self-care things I have done in the past. It’s a privilege having the time and money to do these things. And I live somewhere that makes it easy for me to find places to go for different appointments. But I appreciate any self-care thing I can do even more right now. It feels so special to have the chance to do them. I’m so grateful I have ways to go and still feel safe. And I’m grateful that I am working again so I have the money to spend on things like this.

I can’t wait until I can add my other self-care things back to my life again and I hope it will happen soon. But we don’t know when things will be better, so it’s just something I will have to wait and see. But I continue to feel like things are improving each day and that we are only getting closer to what feels like normal.

Feeling A Bit More Like Me (or A Little Bit Of Pampering)

For almost a year now, I haven’t done a lot of things that I’m used to doing on a regular basis. Some of these things are more social events, which I miss more than I ever thought I would. But another part of this is not being able to do things that make me feel good about myself. And most of those things are related to beauty routines that used to be a consistent part of my life.

I know that beauty things can seem frivolous, but when they help boost your confidence they can mean a lot. And when I’m feeling down because of being isolated or any weight gain I might have had, it’s hard when I don’t have other things that I know make me feel good. Some of these things I have been doing better skipping than others. For example, even though I didn’t get pedicures on a regular basis, doing that was an easy way to make my day better. But missing those hasn’t been too bad. Getting waxed is another one that I’m doing slightly better with. For my upper legs, because of my autoimmune condition, shaving isn’t a good option. So getting waxed is one of the best options for me (although I’ve since learned that laser hair removal is better and I’m looking into it in the future).

But there are 2 beauty things that really affect my confidence a lot. The first is getting my eyebrows done. This was something I was doing usually every 6-8 weeks. My eyebrows aren’t as bad as they used to be as a teenager (the benefit of regular waxing), but they still look scruffy to me if I don’t take care of them. And I’m not good at doing my eyebrows myself because I know I will overdo it. So having someone else do them for me is what I choose to do. I know that some places have reopened and I could get my eyebrows done, but I’m not ready to take that risk yet.

And the other beauty thing that affects me a lot is my hair. Mainly, my hair color. I have gotten hair color from my friend who does my hair a few times so I can dye my hair at home, which has been nice. I started going gray when I was in my early 20s, and it’s only gotten significantly worse in the past few years. And I know there are so many people who rock having some gray hair, but it’s just not for me. At least not for right now. I don’t like how I look with gray hair and when it’s showing a lot it just makes me feel a bit down about myself. Dyeing my hair myself has been a big help. I also have different products I can use to cover up gray hair, and I use them when I want to cover them up. Even though I typically wear my hair back these days because I’m just at home, I still want my hair to feel like me.

So last week, I got my hair dyed again. My friend who recently has done my hair isn’t at her old salon right now, so she said she could do my hair color at her house (which is something I’m used to from before). And I know that this isn’t necessarily the safest thing to go and do, but we tried to take every precaution we could. The door to her balcony was open to there was airflow going through her place. We were both wearing KN95 masks the entire time. When we were waiting for the hair dye to be done, we stayed across the room from each other so we weren’t always super close. And she has been doing regular COVID tests and has been testing negative. So even though the safest thing would be to not do this, since I made the choice to have my hair done I think we did the best that we could.

And yes, after getting my hair dyed, I felt much better about myself. Having someone professional dye my hair is better than me dyeing it on my own. I didn’t get my hair cut because I am not too worried about how long it’s getting (and it was a way to save a little bit of money). So even though my hair isn’t perfect, it’s much better than what it was like before. And I do feel a bit of guilt about how much better I feel just from something superficial. But I also know that this is something so many people feel, so I don’t feel as bad about it.

Hopefully, soon I can do more of the beauty routines that I’m used to and it will be safe to do so. I would love it if the next time I went to get my hair dyed I wouldn’t have to worry as much as I did this time. Any time I can get a bit of my old life back, I notice how much it improves my mood. So I just want to be able to do that more and more. And I know that eventually, that will be possible.