Tag Archives: debt

Finally Being Debt-Free (or Reaching A Goal Can Be Scary)

One of the first posts I wrote on this blog was about having credit card debt. I was so embarrassed to share that I had debt, but it was a relief to no longer have to keep it a secret or hide it. And because I was so open about the debt, I had friends share with me different things that helped them pay their debt off. I also discovered tricks on my own that I had been using to work on paying it off. And while I had made dents in it, I still had a lot of debt left.

I knew that I needed to pay this off because I was wasting money having to pay interest each month. But I just didn’t have the money to pay it as quickly as I would have liked to. Even though I had been getting things more in control, I always wished I could do more. But I had to just be ok with what I was able to do and know that one day I would be able to be debt-free.

And my intention was to work on paying it off as long as I needed to. I knew my plan would take a lot of time, but it was a plan which is better than I had been doing years ago. And then things changed for me not too long ago.

Without going into a lot of details, I was given the money I needed to pay off my credit card debt. Being able to pay it all off was an amazing gift and I’m so grateful for it. This was something that I have wanted to accomplish for so long and I still can’t believe it finally happened. But I have to say that making that payment online was a very scary moment for me.

I’m not sure why it was so scary, but I think because the debt has been a part of my life for so long it was about letting go of something that felt like a part of my personality. Or maybe it was because I felt like I was doing something that I didn’t earn. While I had been working hard to work on this, the majority of it wasn’t due to my work or effort. It was easy to do and I didn’t have to sacrifice for it. I think that the idea of not earning it comes from some past experiences with weight loss that I’ve had. When I have lost weight due to extreme circumstances, I’m so happy that I lost the weight but it doesn’t feel like I have ownership over it. And from my past experiences losing weight that way, it doesn’t last. And I really don’t want that to happen with my debt.

I know that I’m probably in a better place to be able to maintain my debt-free life than I am with weight loss since I don’t have a medical issue behind it. But it’s still scary that this could happen to me again. So I’m already taking a lot of steps to make sure that I stay on top of things.

Of course, I’m already in the habit of doing a budget and tracking my income and spending. This is something I wasn’t doing when I got into debt. I’m also in a much more stable job, and even though I still need to make more money I have guaranteed money coming in. I’m looking for something better, but I don’t have to lose all my income while I do that which is helpful. And I think I’m just in a different place in my life where I value my money differently and don’t spend the same way that I used to. I don’t stress about getting the best or nicest of things and I work on saving money when I can. I also don’t feel the same need to have immediate gratification with buying stuff so I can wait until it’s on sale or I find a better deal. All those things should be helping me stay debt-free now.

I’m trying to focus only on the positives and be excited that this burden is no longer something I have to worry about. And I’m sure that soon I will be feeling that a lot more. I’m still feeling a bit scared about how this was just finished like it was no big deal when it really is a big deal. But I’m excited to move forward with this new chapter in my life without having to worry about debt and hopefully that will allow me to manage my money better for the things I want to spend it on as well as have a better and less stressed mindset.

An Almost End Of The Year Review (or Looking Back At My Goals)

I know there are still a few more days left in the year, but I wanted to get my end of the year recap done before the new year started. I feel like it’s a nice transition to have a clean break from year to year and I didn’t necessarily want to spend the beginning of the new year going through the past. So I figured with a few days left I would have a good idea on where I would stand with my goals by the end of the year.

My first goal I had this year was to do 199 Orangetheory workouts. That one I accomplished and I’ll finish out the year with a few more! I should be at 206 workouts by the last day of the year unless something happens that prevents me from going to one of my planned workouts. But even if I didn’t go for those classes, I will still be ahead of the goal! I did 4 workouts a week almost every week which made it easy to make it to over 199. I thought I’d have more 3 workout weeks over the year but I didn’t have that many. I tried to look back at my schedule and I don’t think I had any 5 workout weeks (I could be wrong) which is what I thought I’d need to do a few times to make sure I made it to my goal. I’m so glad that this goal ended up being relatively easy to accomplish since it seemed like one that would be tough for me.

And I’m lucky that first goal was easy for me to accomplish because it ended up being the only goal I really did accomplish that I had set for myself. I don’t want to make excuses for myself, but for some of these goals I didn’t meet there is a reason. But I still need to hold myself accountable for why I didn’t do what I was hoping to do.

The next 2 goals I had are somewhat related. I wanted to find a 5K race to do and I wanted to get a new PR on my mile time. Neither of those happened and if I’m being totally honest I really don’t care too much that they didn’t happen. Doing 5K races was a big part of my life for a long time, but that was also a while ago. I didn’t have Orangetheory when I did a bunch of races every year and I think having a regular workout has made me not feel as motivated to find races. I had a few races that I kept doing, but once they stopped having races each year I didn’t try to find a replacement. And with wanting to get a new mile PR time, I really thought I’d be able to do much more running this year than I have been able to do. This is due to multiple factors like getting sick, my hormonal nausea, and other things that have prevented me from using the treadmill as much as I wanted to do. Getting a new mile PR used to be so important to me and a sign of my progress, but I’ve had to learn new ways to measure my progress and the mile time has lost some of the importance it used to have.

The next goal I failed on is one that I feel like I have the most excuses for. I had a number in my head that I wanted to get my debt below. I was making real progress toward this for the first part of the year and I was so excited about it. But then I didn’t have as many hours with one of my jobs as I thought I would have and then that job wasn’t able to offer me a new contract like we expected. Being down one job meant that I didn’t have the money to put toward paying my credit card that I used to and I had to start using my credit card for more things than I would have liked to. Losing a job and using my credit card to pay for regular expenses is how I got into debt. I’m trying to stop this before it gets as bad as it did before (and I’ll have more on that in my 2019 goals), but it did increase how much I owed on the card. It’s unfortunate, but it’s my reality. I wasn’t expecting to lose a job and I don’t make enough money right now to really have savings to cover a job loss. I know this is bad and I want to fix this, but for now I have to just focus on finding a new job so I can get back to paying down my debt.

And my last goal I had for 2018 was to keep doing what I’ve been doing with my eating disorder recovery. While I wouldn’t say I necessarily failed at accomplishing this, but it didn’t go the way I planned it would. I did keep doing what I was doing and I’ve found new things that do work for me and I’ve dropped things that I found weren’t working for me anymore. I had the hope that I would feel like I made more progress by this point, but I also know that recovery is a weird journey and it’s not always easy to judge progress.

Even though I really only accomplished one of my goals I set for the year, I don’t see that necessarily as a bad thing. Instead, I feel like I had a minor failure to plan with my goals which is a newer issue for me. I think I need to allow myself to alter and change my goals throughout the year. If I had that as the plan, I would have switched out my running related goals before the year was half over to something else that was fitness related. Maybe I would have had a goal to be able to use a certain weight for an exercise or I would have changed it to a goal on the rower or bike. But I felt like my goals were set for the year and I didn’t want to alter them. That is something I will be changing as well as adding to my monthly challenge planning reminder to look back at my goals for the year to see what steps I need to make and if there are any changes that should happen.

It’s so funny to think about how happy I am to have goals I failed at because it has given me a lot of insight into myself and how I can make the next year even better. And I’ve got some interesting goals in mind for 2019 that I’ll be sharing next week that have been inspired by me not reaching my goals. Sometimes you need a setback to help you think clearly and I think that’s exactly what I had this year.

Finding Ways To Treat Myself (or I Wish Money Wasn’t An Issue)

This post is similar to what I’ll be writing when I do my recap of how my monthly challenge went, but it’s a bit different. I’ve been working on reconnecting to myself and doing things that make me happy. And as I’ve been working on that, I’ve discovered one area where I’ve been not really able to work on things. And that is doing things that feel special to me or treating myself.

It may seem like I treat myself a lot because I do fun things. But most of those things are something I’ve saved up for to do (like my Pantages tickets or my Disneyland pass) or things that I get to do for free or at a discount because either I review them on here (and I will always disclose when I get a discount or free item for a review) or because I have a connection with someone who can help me out (like when I got to go to the friends and family day at Face Haus). But beyond the things that have been planned for a while or that I have a connection to, I really don’t seem to go outside of the set things I spend money on.

Of course, a lot of this has to do with lack of funding. If I had unlimited money (or significantly more money), I would not hesitate to spend on things I wanted to do. I’ve been wanting to get my house professionally cleaned recently. I don’t need a weekly or even monthly cleaning person, but I’d love to do a deep clean from someone who knows what they are doing once or twice a year. This doesn’t have to be expensive, but it’s not in my budget right now. I’d also love to either buy fresh flowers or have a delivery of fresh flowers on a regular basis. I have some friends who do this and it always seems so nice to have flowers in your home. Plus, flowers always seem to put a smile on your face, even when you ordered them for yourself. And then there are all the fun monthly/quarterly subscription boxes that so many people do and love. I have a list of ones I’d want to try if I could afford it.

All of those things are more of luxury splurges because I could be fine without any of them. But then there are the more basic splurges that I’ve been not doing either. I don’t get pedicures regularly, but I try to do it a few times a year (I have issues with my toenails sometimes and a pedicure is cheaper than an appointment with a podiatrist). I’ve been saying for almost 3 months that I was going to set aside time to go get a pedicure but I haven’t done it yet. Money is a small part of why I’ve been putting it off, but I also just don’t feel at times that I deserve it or should do it. It’s the same with buying clothes. I would love to buy the rare nicer piece of clothing that doesn’t feel as much as throwaway clothing. I’ve got some things picked out that I’d like to get and I haven’t purchased them. This one is a bit about money but also a bit about wanting to wait until I’m a different size to buy stuff. Either way, I’m delaying doing something that I’d like to do.

Obviously I can’t just go out and buy all the things I want and do all the things on my list. I do need to budget and find where the money is in my budget to spend. And some of these things may need to be something I save a few dollars a month for and then later this year I can do it. But I’m also looking at adding another job to what I’m doing. I’ve got one job that should be very part-time and won’t pay a ton of money, but I think it will cover at least my cable and power bills each month. It should be starting in the next month or two and I’m excited about it. And I’m meeting with someone soon who knows me through the podcast I work for and wanted to see if there is something that they can hire me to do. They don’t have a specific job for me to apply for, but they wanted to see if we could work together.

If I have these new jobs, they will probably fit into my schedule with my current ones. And I plan on doing them all if possible. I could use all the additional income toward my debt and then once that is eventually paid off I could reevaluate things. The priority is to pay off my debt as soon as possible, but I also know I need to allow some flexibility to have some fun money. But until I have that extra income, I think my list for how I want to spend the fun money is going to have to just stay a list for now.

Food And Budgeting (or Combining The Two Things I Often Struggle With)

I’ve written several posts about my struggles with food. And I’ve also written a lot about issues with working on a budget that is manageable and will help me pay down my debt. Both of these things are things that I struggle with a lot and it seems like whenever I get a handle on things, something changes and I have to start from the beginning again. I know there is a connection between addiction/eating disorders and debt, but the connection for me is just starting to register.

Since food is something I will always need to buy, I have to budget for it. But things change week to week on what I need so I’m much more flexible with my budget in that category. I try to stay within a budget that I set for each week, but if I have to buy food and I’ve already hit what I wanted to spend that week I still have to get food. I know that some of this extra spending is due to lack of planning, and I’m working on that. I also have realized that I’ve been letting food go to waste if I forget to eat it and that adds to my expenses. So I’ve been working on fixing both of these problems at once.

Recently my dermatologist put me on an antibiotic that I took twice a day for 2 weeks. I had to take the medication with food and I couldn’t take it at the same time as my morning medications because of issues with the antibiotic and a multivitamin. So I planned on taking it at lunchtime and dinnertime each day since that would work with taking it with food. At that same time I started working out at the Culver City Orangetheory location, which meant lots of early morning workouts. And I can’t really eat too much before a morning workout, but at the same time I can’t work out on an empty stomach. So I had to start experimenting with what I eat and when I eat.

This can totally change (because like I said, things always change when I think I finally have a handle on it), but right now it’s been working to drink a little bit of chocolate milk before my workout and then having a meal around 11am (brunch?) and then dinner. While I know that I should be eating 3 meals a day at least, this plan has been working for a bit for both my weight loss and my budget. When I only have to think about 2 meals a day, somehow it’s easier for me to meal plan. And it’s almost more like 1 meal a day because I eat pretty much the same thing each day as my mid-day meal.

I know that for some people this is a no-brainer. Eating the same thing every day is a weight loss strategy that works for many people. Having a lack of variety does work for some people, but it’s never really worked for me before. The only exception to this was when I was doing the UCLA diet when there was no variety as I had the same thing 6 times a day. But when I could choose from whatever I wanted, having a lack of variety would lead to me doing last-minute grocery store runs to get something else to eat because I was bored with the plan I had.

I don’t know if it is timing or doing the morning workouts, but the lack of variety is working for me. The number on my scale is slowly going down and I’ve been able to limit how often I need to go to the grocery store. I still have some wasted food, but it’s significantly less than it was before. And I know that if I work on planning things out a bit better, I can improve on the budgeting even more.

Even though I’ve known that my food budget was a bit out of control, things just finally clicked with me recently that I needed to work on this. It’s one of the few areas in my budget that has flexibility and I know that it is possible to eat what I need to while spending less money. Hopefully having this plan will not only keep my budget in a better place but will continue to limit how often I have to confront what I want to eat. If I don’t have to think about it, I can avoid grocery stores when I know that I am just looking for junk food to eat.

Just like every other time I think I have things worked out, I am hopeful that this may work but I am also realistic that this could just be something that is working temporarily. But I hope that whatever skills and tricks I learn while this is working are things that I can keep using even if I can’t keep up the current plan.

Tax Time Again! (or It’s A Taxes Miracle!)

I’ve been getting my taxes done by Daphne at Sloan and Associates for a few years now. First of all, if you are in any creative field or have any type of nontraditional work life, I highly recommend going to Daphne or anyone else at the office for your taxes. The way she understands how to help me organize my taxes is amazing and I have learned so much from watching her work that has made me better at tracking my deductions.

Even though Daphne has been amazing with my taxes each year, I do still get nervous before going in because I never want to owe more than what I saved. And while I am pretty good with keeping track of expenses, somehow in 2017 things didn’t go exactly how I planned. I knew I screwed up a bit with my tracking of medical expenses in the beginning of the year. That’s because I was expecting to have surgery and I figured that I would hit my out-of-pocket maximum and that would be what I deducted on my taxes. But when I didn’t need surgery, I realized I didn’t track all my medical tests and things. Also, somehow I lost several receipts for meals I had that were business related. Even though those don’t add up to a ton, I like to be as perfect as possible.

So when I went to my appointment with Daphne last week, I was a bit scared that these little mistakes would cause me to owe a lot. I still felt confident that I would owe less than I saved, especially since I paid all my estimated taxes, but it’s always nice to have extra money to help with expenses (like my Pantages tickets which I just renewed). I had spent a few days before the appointment getting extra organized and making sure I had all my forms filled out to the best of my ability. Doing that makes Daphne’s job easier and that gives her time to see if there are any things I missed out on that I should be aware of for the next year. I always err on the side of caution, but because so much of doing taxes is being aware of what deductions I’m eligible for and making sure I do things right, I feel like it’s a game.

When I got to my appointment, I was pretty excited to see Daphne. She’s awesome and we always have fun, even when she’s doing my taxes. And I know she likes how organized I am and it always makes her happy that her job is easier. And just like she had the past few times, she showed me the worst-case scenario first before she put in my deductions so I could breathe a little easier knowing things would be ok. Although this year was the first year that the worst-case was actually higher than what I saved! But I knew it would be going down a lot. I had a lot of work expenses like liability insurance that I had to buy and my home office (which is usually a risky deduction, but in my work contracts it states my office is at my home).

While Daphne was entering in all my deductions and income, we also had fun chatting. She recently got a Disney pass so we were talking about how we want to have a Disney day once tax season is over. I know she’ll need some fun after doing everyone’s taxes! She’s also a musical person and I was telling her about the shows coming up. She can’t do season tickets, but she might join us for a show either this season or next.

It seemed like this year it was much quicker for Daphne to enter everything into the system for my taxes. I didn’t know if that was because I had fewer deductions than I did in the past or that things were just easier now. It did make me have a few moments of minor panic that I didn’t do a good enough job. But when she was done, she told me to look at the screen at what she was about to click on.

She was clicking on the button to say how I wanted my refund sent to me! I couldn’t believe I was getting a refund! I thought she was kidding at first and thought it was a joke, but she was totally serious! Between my estimated payments, my deductions, and the money I get back for overpaying my health insurance (my subsidy wasn’t at the right amount for my income level), I actually was getting a small refund! It was unbelievable but also proof that if I listened to what Daphne taught me each time that I could make sure that I don’t owe much (or anything) at tax time. Everyone is fearful of working 1099 jobs because you owe money at tax time, but if you do everything you are supposed to do it doesn’t have to be that way.

After everything for state and federal was done, I do technically owe a little bit. I owe $30 more in my state taxes than I am getting back in my federal refund. But even owing $30 is nothing compared to what I’ve owed in the past or what I was prepared to owe this time. I know a lot of it was because my estimated tax payments were so high, but paying it throughout the year is so much better than paying it all at once. And it saved me from owing a penalty on federal taxes as well! My estimated payments for 2018 are about what I paid in 2017, so I’m hopeful that I should be able to keep my tax bill at tax time next year low again. I don’t know if I’ll get it down so much that I get a refund (I probably won’t get the money back from healthcare as my subsidy was corrected and I shouldn’t have as much in healthcare expenses), but I am more confident in my ability to track the expenses for work so that what I save for tax time doesn’t all have to go to taxes.

I’m so happy that I do have some extra money that I wasn’t planning on. Some of it needs to go to things I have already gotten (like paying back for my Pantages tickets) and I will use some for bills and toward my credit card debt. But I do want to see if there is something else that is small but fun that I want. I’m not going to use a lot of that money, but maybe getting a purse I’ve been wanting that is not cheap or doing a fun spa day could be a nice reward for the hard work. But I might just put it all toward my debt because that is the more responsible thing to do and I want to get that number to 0 sooner rather than later.

But whatever I end up doing with the money that I have leftover from saving for taxes, I am just so glad that my hard work paid off and that I am understanding how to manage my taxes so much better now. I feel in control with taxes and understand so much more than I ever did. I know what I need to track and what expenses to be aware of. And I have Daphne to thank for that because she really took the time to make sure that when I leave each time that I don’t have any questions or confusion about why my taxes were the way they were. I know she was giving credit to me for working hard and doing all the right things last year on my taxes, but I give her the credit because she is the one who taught me how to do that.

Reflecting Back On 2017 (Kind Of Reaching My Goals)

I can’t believe this is my last blog post of 2017! It seems like it wasn’t that long ago that I was writing my goals for the year. This year definitely wasn’t what I expected it to be, but that was mostly for the best. But because of things not being the way I thought they would, some of my goals didn’t end up happening the way I thought. For some goals I totally surpassed what I expected and for others they didn’t happen. But even with the non-successes (I don’t consider them failures), I learned a lot.

My first goal I had for 2017 was 181 workouts. When I set that goal, I expected to be out for a little while when I had surgery so I thought it might be a bit of a stretch. I tried to make up for the time I thought I would be missing by doing more weeks of 4 workouts a week. That ended up being my new normal which was pretty exciting. And then I didn’t have surgery so I didn’t have to take the time away that I thought I would. But that didn’t slow me down and as long as the last few days this month go as planned I will be ending the year with 196 workouts!

I was pretty shocked when I looked at my total and saw how far over my goal I had gone. I knew I was going to be doing more than I thought, but I didn’t think I’d be 15 workouts ahead of my goal. That’s pretty amazing and even if every workout wasn’t the best one, consistency is so important and I think I’ve proved to myself that I have that.

My next goal I had for the year was to get through my liver surgery as easily as possible. I’ve got a history of having an easy time with surgeries, but this was going to be the first time I would have to stay overnight at the hospital and it was a much more extreme surgery than any I’ve had before. Well, as you all probably know from all of my posts about it, I didn’t have surgery. So technically there was no way for me to accomplish this goal. But I reframed it in my mind to be more about getting through this entire situation about my liver with less stress. And I think I did accomplish that. I think that I will always be a little nervous before going in for an MRI because I don’t want the tumors to grow, but beyond that time I really don’t think about my tumors that much at all. I do think about them once a day when I do visualization, but after that I try to not focus on it.

Next was to work on my recovery and hopefully reduce my binge episodes. I’m torn on how I did on this goal. I think that I have made some big strides in my recovery and there was some time where my binges were the most infrequent they have ever been, but that didn’t last. I don’t know what I need to do to keep that momentum, but my awareness is higher than ever and I consider that a win. I think this past year I’ve also become more aware of how long this recovery journey may take and that even if it doesn’t feel like I’m taking steps forward I am. I wish that some of my progress was more obvious and the results could be seen, but I think I’ll just have to wait a bit on that. But it’s a good thing that there isn’t a deadline to be recovered.

Next was a money related goal. I wanted to reduce my debt to be at a number that I had in my head. That reduction would have been about 25% of the debt I have and would have been amazing. I didn’t quite make it to that number, but I did get my debt down about 19% which is better than I have done before. This is also after getting a major reduction in my hours at one of my jobs. I went from 12-15 hours a week to 4 which cut my income down a lot. So to be able to reduce my debt that much and re-budget my life with the reduced money coming in is a big step. I wish I could have done more, but I also know that the circumstances weren’t easy and to reduce the debt at all took a lot of work.

I also set a goal to have a new PR in my 5K race. That worked out pretty well for me since I had a new PR at the one 5K I did this year. I had that PR on the course with the hills which usually slows me down. But because I had my running intervals longer that made up for any decrease in speed I had on my hills. To PR is awesome and I’m so happy that I was able to do that. But I was sad that I only had 1 race this year and that I didn’t have another chance to try to improve on that PR. Next year will be weird because neither of the 5Ks I usually do will be happening, but at least I know that I hit my 2017 goal for my races!

And my final goal for this year was to have more fun. I think I totally succeeded in this! I had so many Disney and Universal adventures with friends. I went to a lot of fun parties and just tried to have a lot of fun with the random things of life. And even though dating can be crazy and stressful at times, I’ve been having fun with that too. It does help that I’ve been turning all the bad stories into stories for my book so whenever I have a bad date I think about how funny it will be when someone else reads it. I haven’t gotten serious about anyone yet, but to have fun with dating is something that hasn’t really been in my past before and I’m glad that’s kind of my experience now.

Overall, I think I had more wins than non-successes with my goals. I might not have achieved everything I wanted, but that’s not really what goals are about. If they were all easy to reach then I didn’t set them high enough. I need to be striving for things and not reaching my goals does motivate me to do better. Look at my workouts as an example. I missed my goal in 2016 but far surpassed it in 2017. Missing that goal last year motivated me to do even better this year.

My next few posts will all be about what I’ve got in mind for 2018. I’ve got some big goals again that I’m thinking about and I’m excited to share them next week. But for now, I guess that’s a wrap on posts for 2017! It was a great year for me and I’m so grateful for you all following me on my journey! Have an awesome NYE (and please don’t drink and drive!) and hopefully we all have an incredible start to 2018!

Working On Money (or A Prosperous Heart Update)

I wrote before about how the podcast I work for was going to do the 12 week journey in “The Prosperous Heart”. We just got to the end of the 12 weeks and I figured it was time to do an update.

I’ll admit that I did not follow the 12 weeks as strictly as I did with “The Artist’s Way”. The main thing I did do was the morning pages. I struggled with the morning pages when I did “The Artist’s Way” and I really didn’t enjoy them. They became something that annoyed me at the end of that journey and I really was not enjoying having my mornings start off on such a negative note. So I decided that for me, doing the morning pages wasn’t going to benefit me the way that it should so I didn’t do them.

I know that some people will argue that I didn’t really do the 12 week journey this time if I left out doing the morning pages, but that’s ok with me. I have to do what is right for me and I would rather try to do the journey the best that I can instead of not doing it at all. I did do the weekly reading and the questions at the end of the chapters, so I feel like I did a majority of the journey.

The biggest thing about this 12 week journey is to track every single penny that you spend. Since I already do that with YNAB, I figured it would be pretty easy for me to keep doing it. And fortunately it was pretty easy for me. The only annoying this was with credit card spending. I track it in YNAB and it was a bit weird to have to track it in a second location as well (for “The Prosperous Heart”, I tracked everything in a little notebook). I didn’t like having to do everything twice, but it was a minor issue.

But while I track all my credit card spending, tracking cash was a new thing for me. I was looking forward to seeing how being extra aware of my cash spending would help me out. And for the most part, I got much better about being more cautious on what I was buying. There were a few times I forgot to track my cash spending (mainly laundry money or parking meters), but I would say I tracked all but maybe 10 times I used cash. It’s not perfect, but I’m pretty happy with being close to perfect.

I think that many people in our group weren’t as into this 12 week journey as they were with the other one. Some of us felt like the book didn’t speak to us the same way. Some people felt that the chapters were repetitive and a bit disconnected. It was not easy for us to admit that we didn’t enjoy this journey as much as the other one since we all felt so great after finishing “The Artist’s Way”. But it’s important to admit to yourself when you don’t feel like you are getting what you want out of a book/class/lecture.

We tried to encourage each other to stay on top of the weekly chapters and the lessons, but this time the group online wasn’t as active and sometimes it felt like we were each on our own journeys instead of doing it as a group. It’s not bad to do it alone, but it was different. And I don’t know if I preferred the group version or being a bit more on my own. Each journey was so different because of what was in it, so it’s not easy to compare them to each other.

Now that this is done, I’m going to keep some of the lessons and challenges going but I’m not going to keep all of them. I might continue to track cash spending, but I think just having the extra awareness I have now will be helping me so much. And for credit card spending, I already track that and I have noticed that I haven’t been charging as much stuff as I did before. So it’s nice to know that I did learn something and that I’m not spending as much as I did before. I’m not saving as much as I’d like, but it’s baby steps toward that.

Overall, I’m glad that I took this journey. Even if I didn’t do everything that was supposed to be done, I feel like I have made a change and I’ve learned new things about myself. I’m hoping that I can continue to spend less and focus less on things that cost money and look for things that are free that I like to do. I know that I need to get my credit card debt paid off and I really want to get it done soon. I just need to buckle down and work harder toward that. And hopefully the lessons I learned from “The Prosperous Heart” will help me over the next weeks and months to accomplish that.

Work Begets Work (Old Bosses Possible New Jobs)

Work has been pretty busy for me lately. Busy can be good sometimes though. For my research job, I just finished working on the big database update we do each year and doing that job means I get to make more money (it’s on a different contract than my main job). And extra money does always help out with things. My main box office job is the same as always, although we are getting back into the busy season again so things have been a bit crazier. And I’m still doing my occasional in person box office job and might be working a few shifts this fall.

I’m in a pretty stable place with my day jobs right now and that’s something that has been hard to get to. But of course, nothing ever stays stable with work but this time it seems like the change might be all positive.

With my research position, there is a chance there will be a job opening that I would be right for. It would be a full-time position so I’m assuming I’d be making more money. It would still be a remote position so I could work from home. And depending on what the pay would be like, there is the potential that it could be the only main day job I would need. I don’t plan on quitting my main box office job any time soon (I wouldn’t do that until I have paid my credit card off completely), but it would be nice to have the potential to only have one main day job.

I don’t know when this job would become available or if I would get it. But it is nice to know that my boss knows that I am always looking for better opportunities for myself and thought of me. But even if I don’t get that new position, I’m very happy in the job I have now and the flexibility I have with it. It’s a luxury that I appreciate so much.

And there are more potential changes with other work. My occasional box office job is a job I got through my old boss at my telesales job (that’s the job I was working when I started this blog). I rarely see him since I work the job when he can’t be at the venue for the shows, but we still stay in touch pretty often. And he let me know about a job possibility that is actually at the old company I used to work for.

This job would be a temporary telesales position for the next month or so. I would be able to work from home and it would pay only commission (no hourly pay). But the commission would be much higher than any job I’ve had and the potential is there to make a pretty decent amount of money in a short period of time. I do miss commission jobs a bit since it was always nice to have a paycheck that was double or triple what I had the paycheck before. It always felt like a nice present!

My old/current boss is passing my information on to the people who are running this telesales campaign and they are supposed to get in touch with me soon. But from what I understand, it’s looking very likely that they will hire me to work this gig because they remember how much I was able to raise when I worked the old telesales job.

It’s good that this job would be temporary because if I do it I’ll be getting close to working 80 hours a week. That’s a lot, but since most of my jobs can overlap it’s not really 80 hours a week. But I don’t think I could maintain that sort of schedule, pace, or balance for more than a month or two. So hopefully I can make a lot of sales in that job and then when it’s done I’ll be able to relax and know that I made a nice amount of money.

If I do get that telesales job, I would love to put all the money I make from it toward my credit card. If I could cut my credit card debt in half, that would be incredible and I would be so happy! And there is a chance that this job would actually allow me to do that! I know that I’m not just working as hard as I do right now to pay off debt, but to have that weight off my shoulders would be so nice and is a goal that I’ve been working toward for a very long time.

As of right now, both of these new work possibilities are only maybes. Hopefully in the next week or month I’ll have a better idea of what might be coming up. But I have to say that I’m feeling really optimistic about work stuff right now and it’s been a while since I’ve felt that way. It’s nice and I’m really feeling like things are turning around for me in this aspect of my life. It gives me hope that more things will change for the better for me soon.

A Goal Setting Experience (or Mindfulness Seems To Be A Theme)

I’ve been pretty good about setting goals for myself. I set goals each year that I want to be able to accomplish in a year. I also set weekly and monthly goals in my Volt Planner. While goal setting is relatively new to me, I feel like I’ve gone in head first and really have embraced it. I like to have things to try to achieve and while it is frustrating when I don’t make a goal I’m learning how to be ok with that.

So when the podcast I work for was going to do a goal setting workshop, I was so excited to be able to participate! I ended up hosting the event at my house because it is a pretty central location and my living room is a good space to hold events like this. It ended up being a pretty small group, but I think that allowed everyone to get more out of this workshop than they would have if we had more people.

The workshop was based around the idea of the 4 Tendencies that Gretchen Rubin created. There was a quiz to take to help us figure out what type of person we are. Of the 4 Tendencies, I was a pretty even mix of 3 of them (Upholder, Questioner, and Obliger). I don’t know what I was expecting, but I knew that I wasn’t going to be the other type (Rebel). But to be a mix of the other ones was interesting.

I know that some of the reasons I’m a mix is because of my OCD and panic/anxiety disorder along with me wanting to be a perfectionist. But I totally want to look more into these things so I can learn more about each type and see if there is a way I can maximize knowing this to help me do better with my habits and goals for the future. I haven’t really thought about how I could adjust my goal setting process to benefit me so this was really educational for me.

After learning about what type of person we were, the next step was to work on our goals. I’ve already got so many goals for the year and I really didn’t want to cover something that I already am working on. We were advised to try to only set goals for parts of our lives that we need to work on. If we have a goal but are making good progress, we shouldn’t be writing it down since that goal is working.

So for me, the first thing I wanted to do was to write what is working in my life so I can remove my focus from that. The main things that are working for me right now are my day jobs and my exercise. I do have goals for both of those things right now, but I’m doing really great with them so I didn’t need to brainstorm more about it. And once I had that written down I worked on focusing on what I wanted to do.

I got it narrowed down to 3 aspects of my life that I know I want to set goals in. I want to have new goals in my personal relationships, financial life, and my recovery effort. I wrote down several things within each aspect that I know I want to accomplish in the long-term. Most of them are pretty basic, but again it’s always good to write stuff down. I don’t have a lot of variety in what I want to set goals to do, but those few things that I’m focused on aren’t necessarily the easiest.

For personal relationships, that’s about dating and friendships. I want to be more active on both sides. I need to set more plans and not have my relationships just be virtual (FB with my friends and online dating with dating). I want to be ok with being bossy or forceful with trying to make plans. I’ve been ok with being wishy-washy and not trying to get something scheduled. But I don’t want to be ok with that anymore. That’s how I can go months without seeing a friend or spend weeks messaging back and forth with a guy online. I want to be more aware of the relationships that I’m focusing on and not getting as distracted.

For finances, I want to stay aware as well. I’m doing pretty great with that so far but I want to make sure that it continues for a long time. Mindless spending is easy to do (especially with online shopping) and I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to use shopping as a distraction for something else. And hopefully by doing that I will reduce my spending, get my debt more in control, and be in a better place financially.

And for my recovery, it’s a very similar thing. I want to work on being more aware. I want to use what I’ve learned recently in therapy and really work hard and seriously on taking those steps. I don’t want to make excuses for myself and to take responsibility for whatever I chose to do. I don’t want to let my eating disorder rule me. I want to be making choices, even if those choices are bad ones.

After writing down these ideas and 90 day and 6 month goals for each one, I totally noticed a theme. Everything is about being mindful and aware. I don’t know why this has become such an important thing to me now, but clearly it’s something I need to focus on. I don’t feel like I’ve been on auto-pilot, but maybe I have and I just didn’t realize it. Maybe I needed to combination of my appointment with my therapist and this goal setting workshop in the same week to come to this realization.

Whatever brought this realization to me, I’m glad that it’s more obvious than ever on what I want to focus on and what I think I really need to do. Saying that I’ll be more mindful is easy to say but hard to do. But I think that having some action steps and ideas is going to help me get closer to accomplishing this mindfulness now and hopefully things will snowball from there in the right direction.

My 2017 Goals (or I Know This Year Will Be Amazing!)

It’s the beginning of 2017 and I’m ready to make this year so amazing! I have a lot of things happening this year and while they are not all great things I know that I can do incredible things even with the struggles I know the year will bring. As always, I don’t set resolutions because I don’t feel like those have a long-term feeling. I like to set goals for what I can get done in the year and I’m ready to share my 2017 goals with you all.

My first goal is a fitness related one. I didn’t quite make my fitness goal for 2016, but I’m still trying to do better than that goal. This year, I want to do 181 workouts at Orangetheory. This is going to be a huge challenge for me. First, I only did 177 workouts last year so this is 4 more than what I did before. But also, with my liver surgery, I may need to take several weeks off of working out. Because of that, I will have to do more 4 workout weeks before surgery and after I recover. But I’d love to make 4 workout weeks more of the norm so setting a goal of 181 workouts is a great way to push myself to do that.

My next goal is to get through my liver surgery as easily as possible. I know that this will be hard to do since I have no clue how my body will react to surgery and recovery. But I am a big believer in the power of positive thought and that’s what I’ll be doing. When I had my hip surgery, I was in the gym the next day on the recumbent bike working out because I was told that moving would be good for me. So my plan is to think that I will be able to get through surgery with few problems. I will have to spend some time at the hospital after surgery, but with positive thinking I’m hoping the time will be as limited as it can be. I know this will be a painful process, but I still want to focus on the positives and hoping that the pain will be manageable and that I will have a fast recovery.

The next goal is to continue on my journey through recovery and to reduce my binge episodes even more. I know that setting a goal to eliminate binges is setting myself up for failure, but to even reduce the average to be one fewer a week would be awesome! I want to continue to reading my recovery books to be inspired and get my brain in a place where recovery is possible. This isn’t an easy goal, but I’m excited to see what progress I can make this year.

Next are money related goals. I have a number that I want to get my debt below this year. I’m not sharing that publicly because that won’t mean much to everyone else, but it will be a reduction of about 25% of the debt I currently have. I would love it to be lower, but because I am not making a ton of money right now I know that I must have slightly realistic goals. And along with that, I would not only like to pay down my debt but I would also like to have some savings as well. I don’t want to have to use my credit card for unexpected expenses like car problems or wanting to buy things like my Disneyland pass. If I had savings, I could use that for those expenses while still being able to pay down debt.

I also have a goal of hopefully setting a PR again in my 5K race time. I have 2 races planned for this year so hopefully I can PR at one or both of them! I plan on increasing how long my running intervals are so that should hopefully help to make getting a PR easier for me. I’m not as focused on increasing my speed right now, but maybe that will be something I work on toward the end of the year for future PRs.

And my last goal (which I seem to set each year) is to have more fun. I’m even trying to make my liver surgery fun by telling my friends that they will have to come and visit me in the hospital so I can have a good time there. I plan on continuing my adventures to Disneyland and Universal Studios and hopefully having more fun random outings. There is so much stuff in LA that I haven’t done yet even though I’ve lived here for almost 16 years and I want to have more fun in the city I call home.

So that’s it for my goals for 2017. I think I’ve set some really good ones and I’m excited to do my best to accomplish them all! And I hope that at the end of December, I look back at this post and am proud of what I got done. But for now, I’m just happy to start working on all of these and checking things off throughout the year!