My goal for my birthday was to be able to do nothing and to finally relax a little bit. Life has been stressful (but good stressful for once) and I have been hitting burnout a lot lately. I knew that if I didn’t take a break for myself soon, I was going to hit a really bad breaking point and I didn’t know what would happen if I got there. I don’t know if I would hit a really bad low and it would take a long time to get out of it or if something worse would happen. I just knew that I didn’t want to get there so I had to try to do whatever I could to prevent that.
On my actual birthday, all I had scheduled was my workout and then work. I said I had a plan to try to do nothing but I wasn’t sure if that was going to be able to be accomplished. For the next week and a half, my life isn’t completely mine. I have to work hard for my slate for the union election and I am so proud to get to do that. And I know that when it is done it will be worth it. But that also means that I might start the day with one plan and then an hour later a huge amount of work gets thrown my way and I end up spending the rest of the day working on that.
My birthday wasn’t as crazy as it could have been, but it did get pretty busy. I had several things that I had to work on that were needing to be done quickly. If I could put things off to the next day (or a few days later), I did. But some things had to be done that day or that hour and I had to get them done. When people called me to wish me a happy birthday, I was usually on the phone for only a few minutes before I had to get off the phone and back to work. I felt bad that I couldn’t talk to people longer, but everyone understood how hard I was working and how important this election is for me.
I finally got to relax a bit around 7 pm that night. I spent most of the evening laying in bed just being lazy. I needed to decompress and I didn’t feel like doing much of anything. I read a little bit. I watching some random YouTube videos on my phone. I did some random daydreaming and reflecting on my birthday and my life. There were a few moments where I was feeling a bit lonely since besides my workout I spent my birthday alone. But I also made that choice and I know that if I spent my birthday with other people that it would have been overwhelming. I needed the alone time to recover and do some self-care. It was the best thing for me that day.
It wasn’t the most celebratory birthday day, but it was exactly what I needed to do. I had a lot of work that I had to get done, and I got the relaxing time that I desperately needed. I still want to have some sort of birthday event, but I don’t know when that will happen or if it will happen. I can’t imagine it happening before the election is done, which isn’t until the end of the month. And by then, I might not feel like doing anything too big. I had big plans for what I wanted to do, but I think that motivation got zapped out of me. I’m a little annoyed that I didn’t plan it sooner so I could have done it, but maybe I’ll feel motivated again when I’m not as crazy busy every day.