Tag Archives: anniversary

1 Year In (or I Didn’t Realize I Had A Job Anniversary)

Posted on December 9, 2021 | Comments Off on 1 Year In (or I Didn’t Realize I Had A Job Anniversary)

I’m usually pretty good about remembering important dates in my life or the lives of people I’m close with. I celebrate the anniversary of different medical milestones each year. I remember the anniversary of my blog starting. But for some reason, I don’t think I’ve really celebrated too many anniversaries when it comes to my jobs. I can probably figure out the start date of different jobs I’ve had because I save almost every email I get. But I just haven’t really celebrated these in the past.

I know when I was in my early 20s, I changed jobs a lot and I rarely got to any sort of work anniversary or milestone. But for the jobs I have now, they are mostly things I’ve worked for a while. My box office job has been my job for 7 years (or 6 years if you remove the year things were closed). I’ve been doing my data entry job for almost as long. And it turned out that this week was the 1 year anniversary of being at my customer service job!

I knew it would be around this time since my training was right before the holidays, but I don’t know if it’s clicked with me yet that it’s almost the end of the year. But when I was messaging with one of my managers about some scheduling ideas, she mentioned it being the 1 year anniversary of me working with them and that’s when I realized it had been a year!

And in this past year, there have been a lot of things that have happened. The job I originally was hired for has changed a bit and my responsibilities have grown and shifted as the company grows. And now there’s a discussion about me having a different job within the same department in the future. When I started, I was doing 2 different jobs and that became just one once things became a bit busier and I had more hours added in. And now I’m full-time and I’m working a lot between all of my jobs.

And because I am really lucky with this company and how well they treat me, they sent me a gift for my work anniversary. I guess it is a bit of an advantage to have one of my bosses as a friend who knows me well because I got an Amazon gift card with a note saying to use it to get some books I’ve been wanting to get for my Kindle. There aren’t any books I’ve been antsy to get, but I always have a book list of things I want so I’ll be picking out some things from my list to use the gift card for!

This is still a job and not necessarily a career, but I do take my work seriously and I do look for ways I can grow and expand my role with the company. I haven’t really had that chance before, and I’m taking advantage of having that now which is why I might be doing a slightly different role with the company soon. And I do intend on staying with this job as long as I can. I am someone who likes stability and long-term situations, and this job is no different.

Being with this job for 1 year is just the start for me with this company. I know that for sure.

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Posted in Celebrations, Work

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2 Decades In LA (or Another LA Anniversary)

Posted on August 20, 2021 | Comments Off on 2 Decades In LA (or Another LA Anniversary)

Just like so many things that happened over the past year and a half, it’s surprising when milestones or anniversaries happen because it doesn’t feel like time has really been passing. I feel so stuck in an endless cycle of a few different things and I really have trouble remembering that things are still going on and time has moved. But just because we are not living our full lives due to the pandemic doesn’t mean these things aren’t happening. And I am now celebrating 20 years of living in LA.

I’ve been a bit shocked with different LA anniversaries in the past. When I celebrated 18 years in LA, that marked when I had spent half my life in the Bay Area and half in LA. Because it always felt like I had spent so much more time in the Bay Area, it felt so weird to know I had spent half my life in each place. But all milestone anniversaries in LA have been things I have celebrated. I haven’t necessarily done anything big to celebrate, but I always think about how many years it’s been since I moved into my dorm room. Somehow, I always knew I was meant to live in LA, and it felt right to me as soon as I moved here. I didn’t always have the perfect situation in LA, but I learned how to make it my home.

And maybe one of the reasons the pandemic has been so hard on me has been how much I have made this city my home. I had things I loved to do and routines I enjoyed. And that all ended so quickly for me and most of it still hasn’t returned. I don’t really feel like I’m living in LA right now. I’m existing but not living. And I miss living in the city that has been my home for 2 decades. I also feel sad for the losses that the city has had. The loss of people and places that so many loved so much because of death and closures. Things that we all assumed would be around forever in LA are gone now. I don’t know if all of it will hit me until I’m out and about in the city more because I’m not confronting things that have changed that much. But I do notice the change and different feelings in the air when I am out and doing something.

But even if I’m not able to celebrate my LA anniversary the way I would like, I still want to celebrate. I’ve experienced so much in 20 years of living in LA. Some of it has been amazing and some of it is very sad. But I have gotten through all of my good and bad days. I have built a life here (even if I’m not really living it right now) and I have grown so much as a person because of the choices I’ve made. And I do look back occasionally with regrets of things I wish I had or hadn’t done, but every choice from my past has made me who I am now. And I am grateful for that.

20 years ago, I had no clue what this city had in store for me. I knew I was going to college and what I hoped to do. But I had no clue how it would happen. And so much hasn’t happened the way most people would accomplish different goals, but it’s ok that I’ve found my own way. And I’m sure if I had told myself 20 years ago what I’d be doing now, I’d never believed it. But I have created a life that I appreciate and am celebrating on this milestone anniversary.

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9 Years Of Blogging (or Just Keep Writing)

Posted on July 16, 2021 | Comments Off on 9 Years Of Blogging (or Just Keep Writing)

9 years ago, I published my first blog post. Or at least I published my first post on here. I had attempted a blog before that failed after only a few days. But I was trying again and just started writing. I wasn’t sure what I’d be writing about or how long I’d be able to keep it up, but I had to try. And here I am, 9 years later, still posting every weekday without missing a single day.

I know I don’t have to write every day. Some people might say it’s actually smarter for me not to because if I was worried about my reader numbers some studies show daily posting isn’t ideal. And I did start my blog originally to be something more than just me rambling and putting out my thoughts into the world, but now I am ok if it’s like that. Yes, doing sponsored posts and things like that are fun and I do consider opportunities that come my way. But I don’t do everything that is offered because I don’t want to do things just to make money off of a post. I have found my authentic voice and true self over these past 9 years and that’s something I don’t know I would have done another way.

There have been a lot of times I wondered what to write or what to do with this blog. But I just keep on writing. Even when I have nothing to write about, I find something to say about being bored or having writer’s block. As much as I try to plan out what I will be writing about in advance, there are times I’m still trying to figure it out late at night and just write whatever I’m thinking.

And last year, when the pandemic hit, I wondered what I would do. Even when I have writer’s block, I usually have things coming up that I could write about and look forward to. But when things were shutting down, I knew I wouldn’t have much to say. Except not having much to say ended up being something to write about. I am grateful that I have a written record of my time in this pandemic. I have my thoughts and fears in my posts and I’m sure that one day it will be interesting to reflect back on this time (we just have to get out of this time first).

Even though I have been consistent for the past 9 years, I know that can change in the future. Maybe I will decide to write less frequently. I think I would still want a blogging schedule so I have something regular, but maybe it won’t be every day. As of right now, I don’t have any plans to change things up. I want to just keep writing because I learn so much about myself from doing that. Even if these posts are just for me and nobody else sees them, I benefit from them and that’s awesome. And if someone else finds the posts and either learns something about themselves or doesn’t feel as alone in their struggles, that’s amazing and incredible! Both helping myself and helping others is what keeps me going.

Next year, I will have been blogged for over 1/4 of my life. That’s crazy for me to think about but I’m also so excited for that milestone. And that is going to keep me going when I feel like I have nothing to say this next year. I’ll keep writing, even if they aren’t super amazing posts, and then I can celebrate 10 years of blogging in 2022!

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Almost Forgot My Hip Surgery Anniversary Again (or 15 Years Down)

Posted on July 9, 2021 | Comments Off on Almost Forgot My Hip Surgery Anniversary Again (or 15 Years Down)

Every year since my hip surgery, I try to remember to celebrate the anniversary of my surgery. The first few years were a little less celebratory because I was still worried that each year that passed meant I was one year closer to the next surgery that was supposed to be necessary soon. But once I surpassed what my hip surgeon predicted I started to celebrate more and more and I didn’t worry about when the next surgeries would be. Even though I know I will still need a few more surgeries, they don’t seem like they are looming over my head as something I will need to do soon.

I rarely forget my hip surgery anniversary, but it does happen sometimes. And this year was one year that I almost forgot. I didn’t remember it until the day was half over and I realized what the day was. And this was a big anniversary because it marks 15 years since I had my hip surgery!

Almost forgetting about my surgery anniversary is a sign that this isn’t as big of a deal in my life as it used to be. But I don’t think I will ever stop thinking about each year being something to be excited about. And 15 years is a big one. In a few years, my hip surgery will be half a lifetime ago for me! But for now, it is a significant chunk of my life ago. And just like any other surgery anniversary, I’m still impressed by how much I have been able to do since surgery.

I’m so happy that I don’t have to deal with as much pain as I had in the past. I do still have pain every day, but most of the time I don’t have to take anything to deal with it from day to day. Compare that to before my surgery when I was maxed out on 2 different painkillers and still in intense pain. Even though I do have to take a painkiller when things get really bad, those moments are rare and I’m not taking something regularly. Sometimes, I can even go several weeks without needing a painkiller. That would have been impossible to think about before my surgery.

I have accomplished so much that I was told may not be possible after having surgery. I know that sometimes I take a few more risks than I should, but I also have decided to not live in as much fear as I used to. I don’t do the things I was warned about the most, such as things that are real fall risks for me, but I do take chances with things that I was told aren’t the best for me to do but also not super dangerous. And this has allowed me to live life a lot fuller than I thought I would be able to.

I do still spend time every day to make sure that I’m taking care of both the hip that was operated on and the other side which will likely be the next surgery. I stretch almost every day (I’m working on being better about doing it every day). I use foam roller balls to help with my muscles since I depend on them to help support my hip joint. I try to move around during the day when I can so I don’t get too stiff. And I make sure that any shoes I get won’t be too hard on my hips. This means I can’t always wear the shoes I want to and I have to be a bit more practical at times, but after dealing with several days of pain from wearing unsupportive shoes, I know that is something important.

With all the issues I have regarding my health and body, I don’t have a ton I celebrate. But this is one that I should celebrate and be proud of. My hips have been able to do things that I didn’t think I could do. Even with all the medical issues and things I was warned about, somehow my body has overcome that and I haven’t had to focus too much on the negative over the past 15 years.

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My Orangetheory Anniversary (or 7 Years Of Workouts)

Posted on June 3, 2021 | Comments Off on My Orangetheory Anniversary (or 7 Years Of Workouts)

7 years ago, I went to my first Orangetheory class. My first class was a preview before the studio officially opened, and I had no idea what I was in for. I just was excited to check out a new workout and see what it was all about. And that first class changed my entire life. I never knew what a single workout class could do for me until that first workout. I had tried to get into a lot of other workout routines and plans in my past, but they never seemed to stick. And while I didn’t want to assume that I would feel that way about Orangetheory, I knew it was possible. But I’m so glad that it didn’t happen like that for me.

After my first class, I knew immediately how tough the workout was. I was so sore and struggled to walk for a few days after. But even with the soreness, I was motivated to see if I could do better. So I started going to workouts 3 days a week and pushing myself in each and every workout. And I have been able to do things that I never thought I’d be able to do. I’ve never felt like an athlete before, and now I do think that I’m at least a little bit of one. I never understood how strong I really was. I didn’t know that having a regular workout routine like this could do so much for my mental health and my self-esteem.

In the past 7 years, so many amazing things have happened to me through Orangetheory.

I have fun traditions like having Christmas Eve workouts with Coach Bruce almost every year.

I also have had so many amazing coaches over the past 7 years and they all are special to me in their own ways. Some coaches are ones that I have every week who have gotten to know me and I’ve gotten to know as well. And being in their class can sometimes feel more like a hangout time. And there are other coaches that I’ve had only once or twice who have seen something in me that I never knew was there or who taught me a cool trick or correction in my workout that has stuck with me ever since then.

I have done workouts with my family on Thanksgiving morning.

I’m so grateful that my family wants to work out with me. Even if nobody else went with me, I would still go on my own. But it’s become a really fun tradition to have a family workout before dinner. And even though we weren’t able to be together last year, we all still did a workout that morning so we could consider that as completing our family workout.

I celebrated completing 1,000 workouts.

And in those 1,000+ workouts, I have also made some incredible friends. When I started working out, I stuck to myself and didn’t really talk to others. But then you start to see the same people every week and get to know them. And some of the friends I’ve met in my workouts are some of my closest friends now. I haven’t gotten to see most of them in a while, but we are all still supporting each other and staying in touch however we can.

And most recently, finally getting to be back in the studio after everything being closed for over a year.

And I think having a history of consistent workouts is one of the only reasons I was able to get through the isolation at home without completely falling apart. I never thought I’d be able to do home workouts and stay motivated. And over the 13 months that I did work out at home, I did have moments when I wondered if I should just not do it. But because I had over 5 years of regular workouts, I was able to find a way to make it work. There is nothing like being in the studio and I’m so glad that I’m back, but I’m so grateful that I didn’t stop doing workouts when the studios were closed and used excuses to start bad habits.

I know that of the 7 years I’ve been working out at Orangetheory, there is a year that technically I wasn’t there. But it still counts to me since I was doing the Orangetheory at Home workouts and continuing my workout journey. And I was still connected to the Orangetheory community in the ways that I could. But now that I’m back, I’m ready to see what will happen with my workouts and what other accomplishments I will have.

7 years in and I’m still as excited about my workouts and being under the orange lights as I was for my very first class.

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19 Years In LA (or The LA Anniversary Between Two Big Milestone Anniversaries)

Posted on August 21, 2020 | Comments Off on 19 Years In LA (or The LA Anniversary Between Two Big Milestone Anniversaries)

Last year, I celebrated being in LA for 18 years. Being in LA for 18 years also meant that I have spent over half my life in LA. In some ways, it still doesn’t feel like that and that I lived in the Bay Area longer. In other ways, I feel like I’ve been here more than that and my time in the Bay Area was forever ago. I remember thinking when I moved to LA that I would have to live here for 18 years to be there as long as I was in the Bay Area and that seemed so far away. While I never considered living anywhere else, it still seemed like it was something so far in the future that I would never get there.

But I did get there last year. And I’m so glad I have stayed in LA because it always feels like this is where I was meant to live. When I was growing up, I always thought I should live in LA. Since I moved here, I’ve only had a few fleeting moments wondering if I should think about living somewhere else. But those moments are usually when I’m having a really bad day (like when I’m feeling so isolated from everyone in my life).

Next year, I will be celebrating 20 years in LA. That feels like a milestone just like being here for half my life. It’s a nice round number and while it’s not necessarily super significant to me, it still feels like a big deal.

This week, I’m marking being in LA for 19 years. That’s still an anniversary, but it feels like a weird nothing anniversary between 2 big ones. And because of everything going on in the world, it feels even less important or significant.

I feel like this year is the year that is slipping away. Time feels like it doesn’t really matter. Important dates like birthdays and anniversaries don’t feel the same as they normally do. I have joked that nobody should have to get older this year since it’s not a real year. But that is how it feels at times. So even if this year was a big milestone year, I don’t know if I would feel that way. I’m sure that if we weren’t in a pandemic that I would still feel a bit weird about it, and the pandemic just exasperates that feeling.

I don’t want to dismiss that I should be happy that I’ve been in LA for 19 years now. It’s not the easiest city to be in because of the cost. And I will say that I haven’t always fully supported myself while living here. But I still have worked to be more and more independent as I’ve been here. And I’ve made this city more and more my own. I do feel a bit disconnected from LA right now because I’m not going out and doing the things I love, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love the city. I’m sure it would be nice to be somewhere where there are fewer people and I could get out more, but that would only be nice for now. Once I can go out and do all the fun things I usually do, I will feel more like this is the place that has always felt like home.

Just like with so many other things, I’m excited to be having an important date and milestone, but it just doesn’t feel like it normally does. I don’t know if anything will feel that normal for a while. But like I’ve said before, anything to celebrate these days should be celebrated. We don’t have a lot to be excited about. So I will celebrate being here for 19 years because that is awesome! And here’s to hoping that when I celebrate 20 years in LA that I will be able to celebrate this city doing all the things I love and feel are so special about LA.

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Social Media Reminders (or Another Thing To Celebrate)

Posted on July 17, 2020 | Comments Off on Social Media Reminders (or Another Thing To Celebrate)

I try to keep track of anniversaries, birthdays, and other things I want to celebrate in my calendar. I like to know when things are coming up so I can buy presents or cards. And I like having fun things on my calendar. It’s like why I like getting random fun things in the mail. It adds something positive to my life. Getting a card in the mail when I normally just get bills is so nice. Same with knowing a friend’s birthday is coming up when my calendar is usually just filled with work and appointments.

But I don’t remember to track everything or I don’t think all things need to be in my calendar. And things that I probably wouldn’t have thought about as much in normal times mean so much more to me now. I want to celebrate everything and anything I can. I even am finding myself celebrating when I don’t see a line at the grocery store or everything I want is in stock. I never thought that would be something to celebrate, but these days it really is!

I’m glad I can find little things to celebrate most days. And sometimes, I figure out what to celebrate because of social media and an alert about a memory that I posted. And earlier this week, I got a reminder about a memory that means so much to me.

This wine party was something that I was invited to attend, and even though I’m not a big drinker I totally wanted to go. I have always wanted to learn more than wine (even now when I’m not drinking I wish I knew more) and this party was being held at a bar I love. So my friend Kate and I made plans to go. And when I wrote the post about it and posted this photo on social media, that’s what I wrote about.

But the story behind this photo is a lot more. The day I went to the party and took this photo was also the day my mom was diagnosed with cancer. She called me a few hours before the party to tell me. And I broke down hard after that call. I remember calling Kate to tell her and she asked me if I still wanted to go to the party. I said that I would because it would be a good distraction. It was, but I also know that I was still in shock and a bit numb because I don’t remember much about that night.

So when this memory came up on Facebook, I immediately thought that that night. But then I remembered something else. My mom told me that when people say they’ve been cancer-free for a certain number of years, that number is based on when they were diagnosed (I’m not sure why, but that’s how it is). So this memory coming up from 7 years ago also meant that my mom has been cancer-free for 7 years!

I know that 7 years cancer-free isn’t a huge milestone like 5 years cancer-free is, but it’s still a huge thing to celebrate! I called my mom after I saw that memory pop up so I could tell her congratulations on being cancer-free for so long. Doing that was a highlight of my week. I’m so glad that my mom had amazing doctors and got the treatments that she needed so she could stay cancer-free for this long. I know she stays on top of monitoring things and it’s a relief to us all when she gets a clean bill of health.

I’m so grateful that Facebook reminded me of one of the weirdest nights of my life because it also allowed me to celebrate something else this week. I really appreciated the reminder because I don’t know if I would have remembered on my own and this is something that I for sure what to celebrate!

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8 Years In (or Another Blog Anniversary)

Posted on July 16, 2020 | Comments Off on 8 Years In (or Another Blog Anniversary)

8 years ago, I wrote my first blog post here. I have written about how this blog started as one idea and it turned into something else on its own. When I started writing, I never expected it to become what it is today. But I love that it has turned into something I didn’t plan on it being because it shows what it naturally wanted to be. And I think I have become more comfortable blogging as I have figured out what I want my posts to be about.

Every blog anniversary is a big deal for me. I always say how I never expected it to last this long, and that statement is still true. When I started, I didn’t have a plan for how long I’d be writing or have a goal that I wanted it to be, and then I would feel like I was done. I just started writing and haven’t stopped.

And these days, knowing that I haven’t stopped writing takes on a new meaning to me. When the safer at home plan started 4 months ago, I really wondered what I’d be able to do with my blog. I wrote about how I wasn’t sure what it meant for this space and was prepared to not have posts every day. And that is still something that might happen. Especially with the safer at home orders being back to their stricter place. I’m sure at some point, I’ll run out of things to write about if I am not able to really leave my house for anything. But that hasn’t happened yet. Somehow, I have figured out a blog post every weekday. Even if that post is me writing about how I have nothing to write about.

I feel like I write about pretty much the same things every year on my blogging anniversary. And I don’t have anything special or unique to write about this time. Just that I’m proud of myself for my consistency, including being consistent with writing when I truly thought I would have to blog less often.

There isn’t a lot to celebrate these days. The news seems to be filled with sad stories or negativity. So I’m happy that I have something to celebrate today. I know that blogging for 8 years might not be a big accomplishment for everyone. Some people have been blogging longer than I have. Some people might think that it’s not that hard to blog every day for years. But for me, it’s an awesome accomplishment and I am proud of myself. And that is something to celebrate!

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Another Hip Surgery Anniversary Down (or I Wonder What The Pandemic Means For My Hip Issues)

Posted on July 7, 2020 | Comments Off on Another Hip Surgery Anniversary Down (or I Wonder What The Pandemic Means For My Hip Issues)

Today marks another anniversary of my hip surgery. It’s been 14 years since my surgery, and I still am amazed that it has been my only hip surgery so far. I was sure that by this point I would have had at least one more. The goal is still to not need a hip replacement for either side for a few more years (the original goal was to be at least 40 when I get them), and I am glad that I have been able to meet that goal so far.

My hip issues have been a roller coaster since they started. I’ve had lots of good days, lots of meh days, and some really bad days. Sometimes it’s the side that was operated on that hurts and sometimes it the side that hasn’t had surgery yet that is causing the issues. When it’s the side that was operated on that is hurting, I’m terrified that I have caused enough damage that I can’t put off a hip replacement. When it’s the other side, I’m scared that I finally tore the cartilage and will need the first surgery. I have seen a doctor that told me that I was doing fine, so I know that when I have those fears that it’s unlikely to be the real issue. But I can’t help but be scared since the original issue seemed to come on so quickly.

With the pandemic, I’ve noticed some good and bad things for my hips. The good is that I’m not doing as much so I don’t have some of the pain I get from being active. I’m not getting tired, which can cause my posture to suffer and I stand funny. And when that happens, my hip that was operated on can almost slip around in my hip socket. I describe it as dislocating my hip, but it isn’t really that. It just can pop out of place and I have to pop it back in. I know it sounds gross, but I’ve been doing this for so long so I’m used to it. And in the past few months, I’ve rarely had to do it since I’m not moving around as much (which I know has its own problems).

But there has been an unexpected issue that is making things harder for me. I rarely leave my house, but when I do it’s usually to go to the grocery store. I try to do grocery delivery when I can, but there are some stores that don’t have delivery options or I need something and can’t get a delivery time. And when I go to the grocery store, there are lines both outside and inside. Standing still in line is really hard on my hips. It can make walking and moving extremely painful. When I’m lined up inside to pay, it’s not as bad because I can usually lean on the shopping cart. But when it’s outside, I just have to tolerate it. I try to keep shifting my body weight to make it better, but there have been times that I got home from the grocery store and needed to take my strongest painkillers to continue on with my day.

I do have a cane, but I don’t like to use it. I probably need to get over that and bring it with me to the store. Or I need to look at the lines at stores and maybe only go when there isn’t a line. I know there are solutions for this issue, I just haven’t really worked on it yet. And even with the bad days I’ve had recently, it’s still better than the mix of good, meh, and bad days that I normally have. I have had significantly more good days than normal. Overall, I think I’m doing better than normal even if it doesn’t feel like that when I’m having a bad day.

I’m probably overdue to see an orthopedic surgeon again to get some x-rays and an exam. Maybe when things are safer and more normal again I will look into making a new appointment. I’m not too worried about it now because I know that even if the worst-case scenario is happening, nothing is urgent and needs to be dealt with immediately. I can wait a bit to make sure I do things when they are best for me.

Hopefully, in a year things will be normal again and I can celebrate the 15th anniversary of my hip surgery feeling a bit more confident about how my hips are doing. Hopefully, I will have a better idea of what my pain issues are really like and not just what they are like during a pandemic and isolation. It’s not easy to celebrate much these days, but I am celebrating making it 14 years since my hip surgery without needing another one. That’s not something I expected to happen and it’s amazing that it did.

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Default ThumbnailMy Hip Surgery Anniversary (or Lucky 13) Default ThumbnailHip Surgery Anniversary (or This Feels Like A Milestone) Default ThumbnailMore Hip Problems (or Thinking Out Of Order) Default ThumbnailSurgery Anniversary (or I Guess It’s Good I Almost Forgot) Default ThumbnailA Non-Surgery Anniversary (or Another Year Of Being A Medical Miracle) Default ThumbnailMore Hip Issues (or Wish It Was Me)

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3 Years Of Being A Medical Miracle (or Just Enjoying Being Healthy)

Posted on April 21, 2020 | Comments Off on 3 Years Of Being A Medical Miracle (or Just Enjoying Being Healthy)

I’ve said before how the date of when I became a medical miracle is a bit hard for me to determine. I’m not sure if I should consider the day I had the MRI that showed my tumors were shrinking as the day. Or maybe the day one of my doctors emailed me to say that it looked like the tumors were shrinking. Or when my liver surgeon called me to tell me for sure that my tumors were shrinking and that he recommended I cancel my surgery. So even though the date isn’t really a date that I got any information, I have considered the date that my surgery was supposed to happen as the marker for being a medical miracle. And yesterday, it marked 3 years since I was supposed to have surgery.

I don’t necessarily do anything to celebrate being a medical miracle, but I do acknowledge it and take time to remember how lucky I am. I know that if my tumors didn’t shrink, surgery was necessary. My tumors were big enough that they could be life-threatening. Not having surgery would have been a very dumb choice. But even though I knew that I needed that surgery, I wasn’t looking forward to it and I was scared about so much. I’m so glad that I didn’t have to have that surgery or deal with the recovery. I haven’t had abdominal surgery before, but I imagine the recovery would be worse than it was for my hip surgery. And there would other things during recovery that would have been tough for me.

One of the things about recovery that scared me was not being able to go to Orangetheory. I was worried that I would lose all momentum that I had been building in my workouts and that I would be so far back when I finally could work out again. Of course, right now I technically have no way to go to my workouts. I am working out at home, but it’s not the same. So it’s a bit funny that something that I was so worried about is a reality that I am dealing with right now. But I am lucky that there are OTF at Home workouts that I could do and that wouldn’t have been an option if I did have surgery.

I was worried about what the surgery might do for my mental health. I didn’t share this too much, but I was worried that having a big scar might make my body dysmorphia worse or that something about having surgery would trigger my panic/anxiety disorder or even my eating disorder. Surgery is a big unknown so there isn’t a way to know how you would react to it. I was hoping that surgery wouldn’t affect my mental health, but it was a big concern that I had about it.

And I was also worried that the surgery wouldn’t be the only one I needed. I knew that I might need another surgery in the future to get rid of one of the tumors if they couldn’t get all of them in one surgery. And I had been told that they could take my gallbladder out when doing the surgery, but I worried that something would happen where they couldn’t and I would need that surgery at another time. I’m actually very lucky when it comes to my gallbladder because it turns out that many of the issues I was having with it was related to the tumors and their size, so even though I didn’t have surgery I have had very few attacks in the past 3 years. I technically still need it out, but it’s not as necessary as it was before.

I am grateful every day that I didn’t have to have surgery. I’m grateful that I didn’t have to go through what could have been a big change in my life. I didn’t have to deal with as many unknowns (even though I do still deal with some unknowns now regarding my tumors). I was able to keep living my life as normal without a disruption. But even though I am grateful every day, I am always extra grateful when it’s my medical miracle anniversary. It’s been 3 years since I have known that my tumors are shrinking and there is still no medical explanation for it. But I feel so lucky that it happened to me.

I am supposed to have another MRI in about 6 months, and if the tumors continue to shrink, that will be my last one scheduled. I might have them every couple of years, but I won’t need annual ones any more if they are smaller. And if by some chance they grow, I will have surgery and I will be ok if that happens. But for now, I’m just focused on being grateful for what happened to me.

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Default Thumbnail3 Years Knowing About The Tumors (or I Forgot An Anniversary) Default ThumbnailAnother Story About A Tumor (or I Guess I Was Misdiagnosed For Over 15 Years) Default ThumbnailA Non-Surgery Anniversary (or Another Year Of Being A Medical Miracle) Default ThumbnailMedical Miracle Anniversary (or A Year Of My Liver Being A Badass) Default ThumbnailTaking Back A Medical Miracle (or Getting My Eyes Checked Again) Default ThumbnailA Tumor Miracle (or I Wasn’t Expecting This)

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