Fearing The Worst (or Trying To Hope For The Best)

I’ve previously mentioned my hip issues on here. Also, my hip defect is pretty popular now since Lady Gaga has had surgery to correct the same issue that I have.┬áThis is something I’ve been dealing with since 2005. My right hip surgery was July 7, 2006 and my surgeon was sure I’d need my left hip done within 5 years.

And until recently, I’ve been doing pretty great! I have the occasional pains, but nothing like what I was having with my right hip prior to surgery.

But last week, I started to feel more pain more often. My left hip was having a catching sensation about 60% of the time. That’s not good. I was in a little pain, but it was more of a dull pain, and I am used to feeling a sharp almost electrical shock sort of pain.

So I decided to make an appointment with my hip surgeon to get checked out. My appointment isn’t until next month, but I’m already starting to freak out a little.

Maybe it’s because I’m starting to realize that my next surgery might end up happening within the next year or two. I don’t want to have surgery soon, because it will affect my brother’s wedding. I know that when I have surgery I will be on crutches for 2 weeks prior (due to not being able to take pain meds) and for about 6 weeks after. I don’t want to be on crutches in Maui, nor do I want to be in the first few months of recovery (it’s not the most fun time of my life).

Freaking out like this about my hip is all new to me. The way my right hip started to hurt was pretty sudden. I was walking in the Portland airport and I collapsed. I was barely able to walk after it, and the pain was so intense that I was scared that I did some serious damage. When I got back to LA, I went to the ER (I had pretty awesome health insurance then), and ended up being misdiagnosed. 6 months later (and after having to be on constant pain medications), I found out what was wrong with me and made plans to have surgery.

This time, I’m aware that I have a problem and have to wait for it to get bad. I was warned that this time, I might not have a sudden tear in my cartilage. It could be a slow process. I’m scared that the pain and catching sensations I’ve been having are the start of it.

But I’m really trying to stay positive. I have about a month to go before my appointment so there’s no use worrying yet. And after my appointment and x-rays next month, my surgeon might tell me I still should wait to have surgery.

All this freaking out might be for nothing, but since I know my left hip is a ticking time bomb, I’d rather freak out more than I should than neglect a problem that might be starting.

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