Failure of a Plan (or Balancing Out The Good And The Bad)

I had yesterday planned out a while ago, and nothing that I planned really ended up happening.

It started a few months back when I scheduled my dentist visit to be on 1/31. At that time, I was expecting to be unemployed, so going to the dentist wouldn’t cut into my work time. Also, but not going to work after the dentist, I wouldn’t have to worry about how low-energy I’d be at work because of my panic meds (my fear of the dentist continues!).

Well, as I’ve mentioned before here, I’m not unemployed now. But I did plan my dentist visit to be the first thing in the morning and I didn’t have to be at work until noon, so I’d have time for the panic meds to wear off.

Then on Wednesday, I get my favorite type of text message in the world: a text from my agents saying I have an audition! Yay! This audition was for a commercial, and the audition was also going to be yesterday afternoon.

I wasn’t worried about having to miss work for the audition (my boss is super understanding). I was worried because I know from past experiences that I do not audition well when I have taken panic meds.

So I had a decision to make. Do I risk going to the dentist without medication or do I risk auditioning with it? I would have rather moved my dentist appointment, but I got the audition text after the dentist was closed and I was not going to cancel 30 minutes prior to my appointment in the morning.

I took the risk and went without panic meds.

It wasn’t too good. I survived without fainting, but this was just a cleaning so there were no needles involved. I did have a small panic attack (nothing like the one I had a few weeks back) but I did have a moment where I couldn’t catch my breath and was crying. Fortunately, the hygienist is one of the nicest people out there and was trying to help me get through the appointment.

I also found out at the dentist that I need more work done. It’s not a crown, but a filling. I’m having it done on Monday, and since it involves needles, I will be medicating (and possibly taking the day off from work).

The positive in all this: I discovered that in an emergency, I can make it through a dental cleaning unmedicated, but won’t do that unless necessary.

And my audition went better than I could have hoped! I’m glad I was able to audition unmedicated and now I get to play the waiting game.

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