At first, it wasn’t that horrible. Because weighing myself first thing in the morning is a habit, it did seem weird the first few mornings not getting on the scale. It felt like I was forgetting to do something while getting ready for my day.
It helped that part of this challenge happened over Thanksgiving. I’m used to not weighing myself when I’m out-of-town (although I have traveled with my scale in the past). While I was in San Diego, I didn’t miss weighing myself.
But as soon as I got home from Thanksgiving, it got really bad. I wanted to weigh myself to see how “good” I was over Thanksgiving. I use the scale as a reality check when in my head I feel like I gained 10 pounds from one meal. I don’t know when or if I’ll ever stop having that fear. But the scale is a good way to look at the numbers in black and white and take the emotion out of it.
But I wasn’t able to get that fear out of my head. I thought about ending my no-scale challenge, but I really wanted to prove to myself that I was able to do it.
After Thanksgiving, not weighing myself in the mornings was causing me to have some mini panic attacks. They weren’t as bad as they can get, but I was feeling anxious and uneasy for a while in the mornings.
Then, this past weekend when my challenge was almost over, I had a massive panic attack. I have no idea if the no-scale challenge caused it, but it’s possible. It was one of the panic attacks where I sweat like crazy, my vision is blurry and blacks out a little, and I ended up passing out (fortunately, I know that sometimes I pass out so I was waiting out the panic attack on my bed so I didn’t get hurt). I passed out for a few minutes and when I came to, I was feeling a bit better. I was able to breathe normally again and I continued on with my day.
Finally, yesterday my challenge ended. I did lose a little weight over the past month, but it wasn’t more than I usually lose in a month. Not stepping on the scale didn’t help me lose weight nor did it make me happy. So this is the end of that challenge, and I have no plan on ever doing it again.
I’m not sure if I will weigh myself every day like I used to. But if I do, I’m totally ok with that. If stepping on the scale every day helps me stay calm and not have to deal with panic attacks, it’s worth it. And while many people might disagree with my decision because you really should only weigh yourself once a week, I’m finding out what works for me. And I’m finally ok with the fact that sometimes things that don’t work for anyone else really do work for me and don’t harm me in any way.
But I am proud of myself that I was able to stick with this challenge and prove to myself that while it wasn’t fun, it can be done.