Category Archives: Tough Stuff

Rethinking Some Dating Memories (or Trying To Not Let New Information Affect My Past)

Posted on March 24, 2023 | Comments Off on Rethinking Some Dating Memories (or Trying To Not Let New Information Affect My Past)

With all the craziness that happens with dating, I have tried to stay as positive as possible. It’s not always possible, but it’s something that I make an effort to do. And I’m usually pretty good about letting people go once things end. I’m even getting better at doing that when I’m ghosted. I’m not perfect, but things haven’t been affecting me as much because I’ve realized that if they are the type of person to do that to me, they clearly weren’t the right person. And once something with a guy is over, I don’t usually think too much about them again.

There have been a few people from my past that have come back for whatever reason. Sometimes it’s because they want to see if I want to see them again and sometimes it’s because I find out more information about them that makes me think differently about our time together. I should know by now that these rarely turn into something good. And I have another example of that happening to me recently.

Without going into a crazy amount of details or specifics, I recently found out that someone that I was seeing a few years ago for a few months had another part of his life that I had no clue about. And this other part of his life was happening at the same time we were dating. He wasn’t a horrible person to me, but he was to others and I have read things about him that really shocked me. There’s no reason for me to not believe what I’m hearing now, but it surprised me to learn about this. If I really think hard about everything, I can see how things happened, and I’m grateful that I didn’t have the same experience with this guy.

My memories of him from years ago weren’t negative. Things ended, but they didn’t end for a dramatic or bad reason. But now, knowing what I know about what he was like while we were dating, I can’t help but feel like my memories from before are a bit of a lie. I’ve been thinking about everything he said and did and considering it from a different angle. I don’t need to analyze everything because the end result will still be that we ended and that’s that. But it’s just messing with my brain a bit realizing that my memories aren’t really real.

This isn’t the first time something like this has happened to me. There was someone I was dating a while ago who lied to me about a lot. I found out after he and I ended that he was single when we met but got married and his wife had a baby during the time we were seeing each other on and off. I never knew he was married and if I did I never would have continued to see him. I hate that what I thought was one type of relationship was really something else. I never agreed to be someone’s affair partner, but that’s what I was turned into. That felt like a bit of a betrayal, but I also knew that it was something I would have to work out on my own since I wasn’t going to talk to him about what I found out. It took a little bit of time, but I am past it. I won’t forget what he did or the lies he told, but I don’t feel like I need to figure out anything else at this point. It is what it is and fortunately, I rarely think of him anymore.

I’m working through this new information on my own again. I’ve done it before and I just have to do it again. I have no intention of reaching out to this guy from my past, mainly because I don’t really care what he says or what his excuses are. There’s nothing that he could say that would make me feel better about the situation, he could only make me feel worse. And I don’t know a lot of details at this point and I don’t want to find out any more.

I never want to assume any guy that I go out with will be a bad person or that I will find out later that they are not who I thought they were. If I thought like that, I doubt I would have the motivation to keep dating. And I’m lucky that this isn’t a situation I’ve encountered that often. Most of the time, my dating experiences are positive or neutral. Or if they are bad, I can find the positive in them or find something to laugh about. I don’t know if I’ll be able to reflect back on this guy in my past in a positive or neutral way going forward, but I will get over what I learned and how what I believed wasn’t really true.

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Default ThumbnailMore Thoughts On Online Dating (or Not Letting My Past Dictate My Future) Default ThumbnailAdventures In Online Dating (or My Luck Might Be Changing) Default ThumbnailMore Thoughts On Pandemic Dating (or I Wish I Didn’t Miss Dating As Much) Default ThumbnailMore People From My Past (or Really Trying To Stand Up For Myself) Default ThumbnailMore Ridiculousness In Online Dating (or I Think I’ve Been Ghosted) Default ThumbnailWorking On Rejection (or Why Can’t Dating Be Like Acting)

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Posted in Dating, Tough Stuff

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Starting To Be Tired Of The Rain (or This Doesn’t Feel Like LA)

Posted on March 21, 2023 | Comments Off on Starting To Be Tired Of The Rain (or This Doesn’t Feel Like LA)

It feels like it’s been raining forever this year. I know that isn’t necessarily true, but it has been a lot of rain in a short time. Some of this has been a dangerous amount of rain and I’ve been very lucky that where I live hasn’t been in a flood zone. I’ve seen a lot of issues from the rain, but at least it’s not flooding like other locations have had. But even when it’s not dangerous amounts of rain, it’s been raining on and off for quite a while.

I know we need the rain. There’s no question we’ve had a drought for a long time and that this rain is helping to make that not quite as bad. And we should see more positive results from the rain over the summer when the snow melts and we get that water. But even though we need the rain, it’s still frustrating and I’m starting to get tired of this weather.

I have joked for years that the reason I like living in LA is that I want to be able to choose to be in the snow and cold, not be forced into it because I live somewhere that normally gets that weather. And yes, it has snowed randomly in LA this winter, but at least that’s not normal and I didn’t experience it. But even with it just raining, it was a lot of weather that so many people weren’t prepared for.

I really try to stay home when it’s raining. I don’t like to drive too much since so many people aren’t great drivers in the rain. I’m not as good of a driver in the rain either, so it’s not just other people. But because we don’t get rain like this normally, the roads aren’t designed for situations like this. I mainly just drove to my workouts and to the few things I attended, and I always saw flooding on the roads where storm drains couldn’t handle that much water. I would time my errands so I could do them when it wasn’t raining since most of the parking lots aren’t covered and I didn’t want to risk slipping in a puddle or something else.

And I have issues with my hips when it’s raining and those have been continuous for quite some time now. I don’t want to take pain killers every day, so I’ve just been dealing with the pain unless it’s really extreme and preventing me from things that I normally do. But being in pain for weeks at a time isn’t something that I’m used to dealing with since it hasn’t been like that for me for years. And I try to remind myself that this is likely due to the weather and not that there is something worse happening with my body. But it’s still something in the back of my mind. With the pain, I also have been having issues sleeping since I wake up if I move and I’m in pain. And not sleeping well can affect so much in my life and I worked hard on trying to be better about getting enough sleep.

I know that we are supposed to get some more rain this week, but I’m hoping that we are almost at the end of this. I wouldn’t mind it if it was only raining overnight and during the day it was clear or if it was only once or twice a week. But right now, having rain pretty much every day has just felt like a lot and I’m ready to have some more normal LA weather.

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Default ThumbnailSo Much Rain (or At Least I’m Not Really Going Anywhere) Default ThumbnailJust Being Lazy In The Rain (or Not Much To Write About) Default ThumbnailPain Distracts From Other Pain (or The Rain Isn’t Too Bad This Time) Default ThumbnailNot Starting My Week Off On The Best Note (or When It Rains It Pours) Default ThumbnailI Guess This Makes Me Feel A Bit Better (or A Physical Explanation For My Emotional Symptoms) Default ThumbnailOnly Knowing Some Of The News (or Several Rough Nights Of Sleep)

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Posted in Tough Stuff

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Still Learning Things About My Place (or Not The Morning I Expected)

Posted on March 17, 2023 | 1 comment

I’ve lived in my condo for almost a year now, and I do feel pretty settled in at this point. There are still things that need to be purchased, but I don’t feel like I’m in flux anymore. I am looking forward to buying the last few things I want to get so I can finally feel like all my belongings are where they should go, but that’s a much different feeling than when I had a lot of things still in boxes and I didn’t feel like I had fully moved in. There were things I needed to learn or figure out that are different about being at the condo versus my old place. Some of these are just technicalities about living in a place I own compared to a place I rent and some are just because I have very different appliances and things in my home so I have things that feel much fancier. But learning all these new things has been fun since I have loved being in a place that works so much better for me.

But this week, I had a learning experience that wasn’t really that fun. On the mornings that I go to work out, I have a routine that I follow each morning. I get up and get ready for my workout. I’m out of my front door by 6am. I usually arrive at Orangetheory around 6:10. And that gives me about 10 minutes before class starts. I’m there earlier than I need to be, but I like having a little extra time in case there is weird traffic that early or if I have to take a detour due to a street closure. I don’t have a lot of time to get ready, but I also don’t really need much time since I know where my workout clothes are to get dressed and I don’t do anything other than get ready before I leave.

On Wednesday, I did my routine as usual and got in my car to leave. There is a gate for the parking garage, and normally as you are leaving the gate will automatically open. But this time, the gate didn’t open. I backed my car up and drove up again just in case I wasn’t hitting the sensor correctly, but that didn’t work either. I also tried my gate remote and the gate still didn’t move. I got out of my car to see if I could figure something out, and I had no clue what was wrong.

I know that for safety, garages and gates have emergency releases so you can get out if there is a fire or earthquake. But I couldn’t find one for the gate. I searched around the mechanism, but I had no clue where it might be. I also tried to remove the cover for the chain for the gate, or at least I thought I did that, and I couldn’t lift it up. I tried texting a neighbor but I knew that since it was so early, he might still be asleep. I also tried texting friends who sometimes work out at the same time to see if anyone could come to pick me up. But once it was closer to 6:15, I knew there was no way I could make it to my workout and I called to let the staff know. They felt bad for me and said they would hold my spot until 5 minutes after the start of class in case I could get out of the garage. But I knew that wouldn’t happen.

I ended up just going back to my place and doing other things before I needed to work, but I was annoyed that I missed my workout. And I was concerned because I realized that if there was an emergency, I wouldn’t be able to get my car out unless I figured out where the emergency release was. So when I reached out to the HOA management company about the broken gate, I added a note about not knowing where the release was. The gate was fixed a few hours later and the HOA emailed all of us updating us and also explaining where the release was. I was actually so close to figuring it out. I thought there was a plastic lid that I needed to lift up, but I just had to lift the entire plastic cover off and I would have seen it. It was a stupid mistake on my part, but at least I know where it is now in case I need to use it in the future.

I talked to my dad after this all happened and I joked about how I was shocked we didn’t go over this when I moved in since he is always on top of making sure I know all the safety things about the place I’m living in. We went over so many things about safety, but somehow we just missed this one. At least this wasn’t an emergency and I needed to get out and it was just an inconvenience. And I’m pretty sure I’m set for all other emergency things I need to know about such as where different fire extinguishers are and stuff like that.

I know I’ll continue to learn things about my condo and the building as I live here, but hopefully they won’t be as eventful as this one was or won’t prevent me from doing something that is on my schedule. And if it took me missing one workout in order to learn an important safety thing I should have known about a year ago, I guess that’s what I needed to do.

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Being Social And Out And About When In Pain (or Of Course This Would Happen When I Am A Bit Busier)

Posted on March 10, 2023 | Comments Off on Being Social And Out And About When In Pain (or Of Course This Would Happen When I Am A Bit Busier)

I haven’t been busy in quite some time, at least as far as my social life goes. I’ve been busy with work and things like that, but I haven’t been doing a lot after work and usually just lay low most days. I am trying to work on fixing that, but it’s not as easy as just saying I want to be busier. And of course, whenever I want to start planning things, I just lose motivation when I’m done with work for the day because I’m usually pretty exhausted since I get up so early. But I’m trying and sometimes it works for me.

But even though I say I want to be busier, there are plenty of times I’m so grateful that I don’t have much to do outside of work. Whenever I’m dealing with pain and nausea, I really want to just stay in bed and rest when I can. I do still go to my workouts and I still work, but I don’t do much else. I work from my bed or from the floor when I need to. Being able to move and work where I’m most comfortable when I’m not feeling well is just one of the reasons I’m so grateful that I work from home.

And of course, getting busier just happened to line up with when I’m dealing with a significant amount of pain and nausea.

I’ll share in my posts next week about what I’m doing, but in normal times I wouldn’t consider myself that busy. But I have a few things happening that cannot be postponed so if I want to be a part of them I have to do them now. And when I knew that this week was likely going to be a bad week, I was hoping that maybe it wouldn’t be that bad. Sometimes I expect a lot of pain and nausea and it really doesn’t kick in that much. I will always have some that I have to deal with, but when it’s tolerable or manageable with medications, it’s not that bad. I’m uncomfortable and maybe a bit awkward if I’m breathing through a wave of symptoms, but it’s nothing like when it’s really bad.

Fortunately, even though my pain and nausea are pretty bad right now, it’s not the worst I’ve dealt with. I am able to get out of bed and the symptoms are lessened by my medications instead of feeling like they are the same whether or not I take something. But I’m uncomfortable and sometimes the best way to feel better is to be in really weird positions in a chair or on the ground. That’s not going to be possible at the things I’m going to. But I’m going to do everything I can to feel ok when I go out and am around other people. At one thing, I’ll be around just my friends so if I’m really not able to feel ok I can let people know and they will understand. But I still want to feel ok so it’s not a big deal or something that I have to work around.

At least I’m not so busy that it will be overwhelming and it’s only a few events I need to worry about. And they aren’t back-to-back days so I’ll be able to rest in between them and maybe those rest days will help me feel better for the next time I have to be around others. And of course, when all my symptoms should be ending, my calendar is pretty empty outside of my usual obligations. But maybe I’ll be able to add a few more things so I can continue working on doing more outside of my house and I’ll be more up for it when I know I’ll be feeling ok.

I know that I’ve been saying I want to do more things and get out of the house more and I also know that pain and nausea can be 2 weeks a month of my life. So it shouldn’t be so surprising that they happen to overlap. I do wish it wasn’t like this, but I’m going to do my best to make the most of the fun that I have coming up!

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Posted in Fun Stuff, Health, Tough Stuff

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An Evening Of Taxes (or Not Quite As Prepared As I Had Hoped)

Posted on March 3, 2023 | Comments Off on An Evening Of Taxes (or Not Quite As Prepared As I Had Hoped)

I got my taxes done this past week. I know that there is a lot of time before they are due, especially now with the extension for CA, but I like to get them done as quickly as I can. The main reason I like doing them early is so I don’t have to be worried or stressed about how much I might owe for a long time. But also, the tax person I go to discounts her rates if you do them early. I missed the deadline to get the biggest discount, but I still saved money doing them now instead of waiting a few more weeks.

My taxes haven’t been simple for a long time, but I’ve gotten used to what I need to track and keep receipts for so it helps me stay organized throughout the year. It used to take me a lot longer to prepare for my tax appointment, but now I can usually get my packet completed in under an hour. It’s nice that all the little things I do over the year add up to saving me as much time as they did. I did notice that I didn’t have as many deductions as I used to have, but I wasn’t as worried about that since those really can vary from year to year. I also knew that in the past, I was only working 1099 jobs and in 2022 I also had a W2 job. So the estimated taxes I paid might have been more than needed since I also had taxes taken out of my paycheck. There isn’t much I can do when preparing my packet that will change what I did with my deductions or estimated payments for 2022, so I just tried to make sure I put down everything I needed to and was hoping for the best.

I’ve had a few years where I really overpaid my estimated taxes and got a nice amount back when I had my taxes done. And I’ve had other years where I’ve owed since things didn’t quite work out how I expected them to. I just know that I try my best to stay organized and pay attention to making sure I do all the things I have been told to do in order to make my appointments as easy as possible.

My tax appointment this year was another virtual one. I could have gone in person and I really did want to do that, but I would have to drive to the valley and my schedule is busier than it was when I did go in person to get my taxes done. Maybe next year I’ll be able to go there since that does make it a bit more fun. So I sent all the paperwork I needed to send in advance along with my tax packet and then a few days later I had a phone appointment to go over any questions my tax person had and to find out what was going on. There weren’t a lot of questions for me during my phone appointment since things weren’t that complicated this year compared to the past. But there were some surprises.

I had the biggest tax bill I’ve had in a long time. It’s not as bad as what others may have since I did pay quite a bit into my estimated taxes. But I really thought things would have been much better this year. But there were a few things working against me. For my job that takes taxes out of my paycheck, they are not taking out enough and I need to fix that for this year. But the bigger issue was that one of my 1099 jobs changed how some things were classified and that changed how much I owe in taxes. Since my estimated taxes were based on the old classification, I had a lot that I didn’t pre-pay like I normally do.

I was a bit shocked at how much I owed, but I also understand that this is what it’s like for a lot of people. And if I hadn’t done my estimated taxes or kept track of things the way I did, things could be easily been a lot worse. I’m also lucky that I will be able to pay what I owe from money that I had been saving for other things. I might have to delay when I buy some things that I was hoping to get, but obviously paying my taxes is more important and other things can wait.

This year, I’ll be paying more into my estimated taxes and I’m looking into how I can change how much is withheld at my other job, so hopefully, that means in a year I won’t owe as much as I do now. Maybe I’ll have more things I can use as deductions too and that will help, but I can’t guarantee those will happen. So I will just do what I can control and hope that I’ll be as prepared as possible in a year and maybe I’ll have a much more fun outcome when I get my taxes done then.

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Posted in Saving, Tough Stuff

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A Long Short Week (or Ready For The Weekend)

Posted on February 24, 2023 | Comments Off on A Long Short Week (or Ready For The Weekend)

It seems like when I have an extra day off of work because of a holiday, that somehow makes the week seem longer. I don’t know if that is because I usually use that extra time to get more things done than I normally would or if I just feel off because I mix up what day it is. But it seems to really hit me hard and I feel like I need to recover more from a short week than a long week.

I know that I am also still probably used to having Mondays off from when I had my old job, but I should be used to this schedule by now. And when I get a Monday off now, I get to have 2 days without work instead of just 1. It doesn’t always feel like I just have 1 day off a week since I only work 3 hours on Saturdays, but I still have to wake up early in order to work. I just get to have extra time to be lazy or do other things after work.

I know that this short week also was busy with a lot of things. Over the weekend, I drove to and from Santa Barbara. I have done that drive a bunch, but it’s still at least 3 hours of driving in a day. Maybe I had more endurance for driving when I used to commute to work, but now it seems like it’s a decent drive. I do keep myself entertained by making sure I have good podcasts to listen to, but it’s still a good chunk of time. I also had my parents here and even though I don’t have to necessarily entertain them, I still try to be a good host when they are here even if we are just meeting for dinner and doing work around my house like we did this time. And hanging up things on my walls and doing all the house projects on Monday made that day seem pretty busy and not a normal day off.

I’m glad it’s Friday even though I still have work tomorrow. But I’m ready to have a bunch of hours when I can relax and just get things back in order. I still am catching up on housework from when I was sick, so I want to get that done. I also have a few more things to put away after all the projects we did earlier in the week. But I also want to make sure I take time to rest and relax since it will be Monday morning before I know it.

I originally had some plans for this weekend, but they were canceled due to the big storm we are supposed to have. I’m not upset about not having plans since I probably shouldn’t have made them in the first place. I would prefer to not be out in the rain unless I really have to. And if bad weather is what I needed to remind me that I should take it easy this weekend, then I guess that’s not a bad thing.

Hopefully, I can really take some time to get things and myself back to normal before Monday and I have to be back to a busy work week. And if I don’t get as much done but I get more time to relax, then I’ll consider that a good thing too. As much as I know I need to get some things done in my place this weekend, the bigger focus should be resting so I can be back to my full energy soon. And nothing that is on my list of things to do this weekend can’t wait until later, so I won’t allow myself to stress about what I need to do if that’s going to prevent me from resting.

And even though next week will be a full work week and I could easily be more exhausted by the end of the week, hopefully taking the time this weekend to rest will have me ready to go and I won’t be as tired as I have been this week.

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A Non-Workout Week Recap (or I Hated Taking Time Off)

Posted on February 13, 2023 | 1 comment

After my last workout recap, I was really hoping I would have a good workout week this past week. What I didn’t expect was having to take the entire week off from working out due to being sick. I knew over the weekend that I had a bit of a cold, but I didn’t think it would it would affect my entire week. And maybe if it had been a normal cold, I only would have needed to take one or two days off.

I knew pretty early on Sunday that I would need to take Monday off. I was dealing with a lot of issues with my cold and I knew that showing up when I was coughing that much wouldn’t be a polite thing to do to everyone else. I also knew that I could use extra sleep so sleeping in would be nice.

By Monday night, I was feeling better except for my throat. And because of the swelling in my throat, the pain was really intense and I didn’t feel like I could fully catch my breath. Exercising when you can’t catch your breath isn’t a smart thing to do so I figured I would take another day off. Unfortunately, that continued to be the pattern through the rest of the week.

My throat was starting to get a little better by Thursday, but it was still not great and I knew that I just had to keep taking the week off. I debated going in on days I normally take off, but I decided against that since even by the weekend I wasn’t fully recovered. I don’t want to make any of my symptoms last longer than they have to, so resting was the smartest plan. I could have worked out at home or even at the little gym my condo building has, but I decided to focus on rest and recovery. I did do some stretching workouts, but that’s as intense as I got this past week.

I really hate taking time off from working out. I still am shocked that I say that, but it’s true. It’s become such a part of my routine and I can feel it when I need to work out now. It’s not just about getting to my workout goals each month or year, I really crave working out now. And having to take time off when I could convince myself maybe I should go is tough. When I took the week off because of my foot, that was different. This time, I had to be smart and mature and know that this was the best choice for me.

As I’m writing this, I fully plan on going back this week. I’m still not 100%, but I’m doing significantly better. And I know I’ll need to ease back into things no matter what so going easy this week will be good for a few reasons. There are studies that show that working out can help you get over a cold, but I knew that I needed to wait until it was a bit safer for me to work out. I did get to miss what should be the worse of my pain and nausea by having this past week off, but I know that could continue into this week as well. So I might be dealing with that besides everything else I have. But I know I can handle it because I’ve done that before.

Hopefully, I won’t need to take more time off from working out anytime soon. I know I did the best thing for myself, but it doesn’t make it any easier. I want to get back to my normal and somewhat crazy routine and I hope that happens this week!

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Getting Behind On Things To Do (or I Know I Needed To Rest)

Posted on February 8, 2023 | Comments Off on Getting Behind On Things To Do (or I Know I Needed To Rest)

I don’t think anyone has fun when they are sick, at least as an adult. When you are a kid, you get to stay home from school and most of us got to watch fun daytime tv. But as an adult, I think I mainly just worry about things I’m not doing while I’m not feeling well.

I’ve been sick for almost a week now. And while I’m still grateful it’s not something worse, having a bad cold really makes you not able to do a lot. I’m still working, although I know I’m not working as quickly as I normally do because of how I feel. But beyond working, I’m really slacking off on things that I know need to be done and it’s starting to pile up.

I’m glad there are a lot of things that make life easier when I’m not able to do as much. I’ve been getting groceries delivered and the stuff I have gotten are all things I can make quickly. I don’t like to just have microwavable meals, but that’s been a lot of my diet this past week. I don’t always feel like eating when I’m sick, so having something quick and easy to make helps when I do feel hungry. Since I didn’t feel like I could drive over this past weekend, getting stuff delivered really helped me get what I needed and make sure I wasn’t getting delivery food that I didn’t need. And I’m so happy that a friend was able to go to CVS for me to get cold medicine since that wasn’t something I could get through my grocery delivery but was something I really needed.

But I also have had to accept that other things just needed to be put off. I haven’t really cleaned since I started feeling sick other than putting dishes in the dishwasher. I know I need to do more cleaning than just that, but the fatigue from this cold has really hit me hard. Even making my bed makes me tired. Nothing is too gross or horrible, but my place isn’t up to my normal standard of cleanliness. I’ll get to cleaning again soon enough, but for now, I have to be ok with how things are until I have the energy to do more.

Besides not doing the regular cleaning that I do in a week, I also haven’t organized things that I’ve had delivered in the past week. I got both my new tv stand and my new tv, but they are both still in their boxes near my front door. I want to get those together so I can get those boxes out of my house, but just like with cleaning, I haven’t had the energy to do it. I’m hoping that by this weekend I’ll be feeling more like myself and I can finally get those accomplished.

I also had a list of things to do before my parents are here soon because my dad and I will be working on some projects. I had planned to do those errands this past weekend and only realized yesterday that I never got to do them and I have to make sure I get them done this weekend so that my dad and I can check all our projects off of the list we have.

I know I’ve had some bad colds in the past, but I think this one has been one of the worst ones I can remember. If I’m not feeling better soon, I am going to go to the doctor to make sure it’s nothing worse or something that I need medication to get over. But I really do feel like it’s just a cold and it’s a lot more severe than what I’m used to. And that’s why I’m ok with being behind on what I know I should be doing. Getting rest is so important when you are trying to get better. And that’s what my focus has been this past week and everything else just has to take a backseat.

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I’m Not Used To Being This Sick (or I Know This Could Be Worse)

Posted on February 7, 2023 | Comments Off on I’m Not Used To Being This Sick (or I Know This Could Be Worse)

Last week, I started to have a bit of a scratchy throat. That used to mean that I was about to get sick, but it usually started very soon after that feeling started and it was slightly different from what I was experiencing last week. So I thought maybe I was having an issue with allergies or something else. I honestly didn’t think that I was getting sick. But after a few days, it was clear that I was getting sick and I had to work on taking care of myself.

Fortunately for me, I work from home so I spent Friday working from my bed. I also had a friend who was able to run out and get cold medicine for me because my head was so foggy that I knew I wasn’t safe to drive. I also took a Covid test since I knew a few friends who thought they had a cold but it turned out to be Covid. And if that’s what I got, I wanted to get anti-virals right away. But the test was a very clear negative.

So I knew this was just a bad cold and not something worse.

But a bad cold isn’t great either. Over the weekend, I spent almost all my time resting. I wanted to get better, and I knew that resting my body was the best thing for me to do. I tried to eat a little since I know your body needs fuel to get over a cold. But between congestion and my sore throat, it was tough to even make myself drink water. But I tried my best and just did as little as possible. I knew I was pretty sick when just making my bed made me out of breath.

I hate being sick like this. I used to deal with this during the winter, but since the pandemic, I haven’t been inside with many people and when I have been around others, I’ve been wearing a mask. I still wear a mask when I’m inside almost all the time. I might be the only person at the grocery store who wears one, but I know it can keep me safe. But there have been a few times when I didn’t wear one, and I’m guessing that one of those times I was around someone who had a cold and I managed to catch it.

I know that I could have been more cautious and that catching a cold is my fault, but at the same time, this is a bit of my normal too. I know that at some point, we will be back to something similar to what our old normal was, and for me, that means I’ll probably catch a cold during the winter. I might take some more precautions now than I did before, but I also know that catching a cold isn’t something I can completely avoid unless I want to stay isolated.

So I just had to suck it up and work on fighting this bug. I had to skip my workout yesterday and as I am writing this, I’m debating about my workout this morning. I might want to take another day off to get just a bit better but I also know that there are studies that show that working out once you are doing better and not contagious can help to get rid of a cold sooner. I just have to find the balance between needing time to recover and being ready to start pushing to be back to my routine.

I am grateful that this wasn’t as bad as other things that I could have gotten. If it was Covid, I have no idea how much worse it could have been. Even compared to when I had vertigo a few years ago, this isn’t quite as bad. It’s frustrating when this isn’t how I want to spend my time, but it’s life and I’ll be fine soon. Maybe I’ll need to take more time off from workouts and other things than I would have liked, but this is a temporary thing and I’ll be back to my normal before I know it. And being better and feeling better is my focus for now and that’s what I have to be ok with doing.

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I Might Have Picked The Wrong Monthly Challenge (or I Guess I Still Have Half Of The Month To Go)

Posted on January 19, 2023 | 1 comment

I try to really think about the monthly challenges that I set for myself before I decide which one to do that month. I usually have a few ideas that are very different and then I think about what I will get out of each one and try to pick the best option. For a while, I think I was doing a lot of challenges that would better myself in some way. But lately, I’ve been focused more on things that will better my environment or living situation.

That’s why when I picked my challenge for this month, I really thought it would be a good plan for feeling more settled in my place and just having a better routine and schedule. I know that things for me can feel like I’m in a rush to get them done or that I’m putting things off until the last minute without intending to do so. So if I could have an idea of what days are best to do certain things, I might feel a bit more stable when I’m trying to plan ahead.

But what I didn’t plan for were things that are out of my control and would affect what I could do and what I wanted to do. For example, with all the rain lately, I haven’t been wanting to run errands if I could avoid it because I don’t like to be out in the rain. Even if I had planned to go to the grocery store if the rain was coming down too hard I didn’t want to do it. I also don’t love driving in the rain and many other drivers seem to not be great at it either, so being off of the road seems like a smart choice. I wasn’t expecting to work extra hours this past week, so when I had things planned to do after work, that was affected by my later hours. And if I’m working until 8pm, I just don’t feel like going out to do other things after work. I’m ready to settle down for the evening.

On top of all this, I haven’t been feeling well and have been working through nausea for the first half of the month. Maybe if I was feeling ok, I would have been up for doing some of the things I had been putting off. But with all of that together, I just haven’t wanted to do a lot of anything. I know that if I had to go out and do something, I would. I had some errands I couldn’t avoid or do another way, so I went out and did them. I wasn’t always happy about it, but I got them done.

Maybe I’m just making excuses for myself because if there were things I had to do, I probably would have done them. But it’s easy to not go to the store and get groceries delivered or put off cleaning because nobody is going to see that my house is a little messy. And I’m aware that how I was feeling affected my mental state and that had a lot to do with things. I really set this challenge this month with the best intentions of getting it done and I’m wondering if I picked the right one. But I also think that maybe because of this struggle, this was exactly the challenge I needed to do and I need to step up my game.

I have used up half the month really not doing anything for this month’s challenge. Maybe I’ll be able to turn things around for these last 2 weeks and end the month feeling successful about what I got done. Or maybe the end of the month will come and I’ll be feeling down about what I picked for this month and wishing I did something different. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see.

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