Monthly Archives: August 2012

This Weekend’s Shopping Adventure (or Still Trying to Find Some More Cute Dresses)

I’ve previously posted about how tough it can be to shop when you don’t fit into a “standard” size. I’ve got a few more events coming up in the future where I need some nice clothes, and I don’t have anything that would be weather/event appropriate. The event I’m most excited about is in October when my friends Marie and Chris are getting married! I’m traveling to Houston for that, and I want a fun dress to wear to their fun wedding.

On Saturday, Kiyonna is having their Sweet 16 Shopping Event. Everything is 20% off if you go shop at their boutique above their distribution center in Anaheim. Of course, I RSVPed for that event and I’ll be doing a bunch of shopping tomorrow. I’ve bought clothes full price at the store before and I’m excited to save some money this time!

I’m grateful that I’ve found a few stores where I can feel relatively confident that even if I won’t find what I’m looking for, I’ll find clothes that I can try on and that fit. That’s pretty important.

I hate the feeling of going in a dressing room with my arms full of clothes that I can’t wait to try on only to find out that not a single thing fits. Normally after that happens, I don’t even want to continue shopping, I just leave the store feeling defeated.

But I know on Saturday that I’ll be able to find clothes that fit. And I’ve been looking online and have found several dresses and tops that I’m super excited to try on. I’ll have to report back on Monday to let you know what I got (and what the damage is to my credit card).

Continuing the Birthday Celebration (or Eating at Benihana for Free!)

Last night, I enjoyed another birthday perk. If you sign up for the email list at Benihana, you get a $30 gift certificate to use for yourself in your birthday month! I don’t frequent Benihana, but this is a deal that is tough to pass up.

The $30 can only be used on your food, so I got the filet mignon and a strawberry lemonade. I ended up going only like $1 over my $30. And then my friend who joined me got to splurge and get scallops because she and I just split the bill.

It was a fun festival dinner, and you can never go wrong with having a free meal. The only obnoxious thing was it seemed like everyone was celebrating a birthday in the entire restaurant. And at Benihana, they don’t just sing “Happy Birthday”, they shout it in very shrill voices.

After hearing the singing over a half-dozen times, I made sure to ask the waitress if they could skip singing to me. She looked at me a little confused, but when I explained that I had a headache, she completely understood. That made the meal a little better.

Oh, and an added bonus about going to Benihana? On MyFitnessPal there is already a category for the calories in all the sides that come with a hibachi meal (soup, salad, shrimp, vegetables, tea)!

I managed to have a free meal and stay under my calories yesterday! Double win!

Fear of Failing (or How My Car Accident and Weight Loss Are Related)

As I mentioned last week, I was in a car accident. I was hit while exiting my driveway, something that I do every single day. And ever since the accident, I’m so nervous when I’m leaving my driveway or making any type of turn into a new lane of traffic.

I’ve had this happen to me before. In 2005, I was rear ended twice within 30 days. Once on the freeway and once on Sunset Blvd. After those accidents, I would always watch in panic as the car behind me slowed down to a stop, hoping that I wouldn’t get hit again.

Last night, I was leaving the shopping center where I got some dinner at Subway and turned right into the street. I was panicky as I turned because even though I couldn’t see any cars coming, what if there was one without lights on, or that was speeding, or that pulled into traffic before I did. I hate this feeling, but I know that it’s what makes me a safe driver.

After I turned into the street, I realized I have the same feelings about losing weight. I did the losing weight part successfully many times. I’ve lost over 100 pounds multiple times. I’m just a failure at keeping the weight off. I’m so scared of failing again that I’m panicky about doing it again.

I’m so tired of being a disappointment to myself and the people who love me. I want to be successful. But I have to be ok with failing again in order to try. And that’s one of the mental blocks I’m in right now.

Since starting this blog, I’m down about 3 pounds. I fluctuate a lot, but when you average out the week, it’s 3 pounds lost. To some people, that might seem amazing, but when I think about what little percentage that is of what I have to lose, it’s overwhelming. I think that I should have lost 10 pounds by now. And that’s what society sets us up to think. So many diet plans talk about how losing 2 pounds a week is a good way to go.

But should I feel like crap because I’ve only lost 3 pounds instead of 10? I know that the answer is no, but I’m still trying to convince myself of that point.

Liza with a Z (or How to Go to the Hollywood Bowl on the Cheap)

This past weekend, I went with my friend Krista to the Hollywood Bowl to see Liza Minnelli!

 

It was an awesome night. There were some technical difficulties before the show started, so it started about 45 minutes late. But Liza ended up performing the entire show without an intermission to make it up to the audience. She also performed barefoot, which I thought was pretty funny.

Going to the Bowl is one of my favorite summer activities. It’s outside, you can bring your own food and alcohol, and you can normally go pretty cheaply.

For most shows, I’ll just show up at the box office before the show and ask for the cheapest seats. Sometimes you can get them as low as $5 or $1 when it’s one of the classical nights.

For this show, I had gotten an email from Goldstar about tickets for only $13 for pretty decent bench seats. Those were way cheaper than we could have gotten at the box office the day of, so we went for them.

And I never park at the Bowl. It’s ridiculously expensive and since it’s stacked parking, you might be stuck in the lot while you wait for the people in front of you to leave. I’m a huge fan of the Bowl bus. It leaves from a bunch of different places around the city (I get the one that’s only 6 blocks from my house), and it’s only $10 round trip.

So for a $13 ticket and a $10 bus ride, I had a pretty amazing night.

It’s Hot Outside (or Why the Heat Makes My Body Lie to Me)

It’s summer. It’s hot. And I know that living in LA isn’t as bad as living in Arizona or Las Vegas, but everyone I know who lives in those places has air conditioning. I don’t have it at my house.

And when you are gone all day working, you come home to a house that is like an oven. Some days, it’s over 90 degrees in my bedroom (I have a thermometer on my alarm clock). And despite my best efforts to cool down my house by opening the windows or using a fan, I seem to still go to bed in a hot room.

It’s difficult to sleep, so I’ve been exhausted the past few days. And since I live in such an old house, the fuses in my house might not be able to handle the power of an air conditioner. I’m looking into getting a box fan that fits in a window, but for now, I’m dealing with it.

One of my least favorite things about the heat (besides always being sweaty), is that my body swells up in the heat. I remember learning that this happens to most people in one of my adventures in eating disorder group therapy. I was in that group for about 3 years, and each summer the therapist would remind us that our clothes might fit a lot tighter during the summer and not to stress about it.

But my pants feel like I’ve gained 50 pounds and it’s hard not to stress about it. Every morning, I’m almost scared to try to put on my jeans. I hate the feeling of them being so tight, because all I can think is that I’m gaining weight. And I can’t even make myself step on the scale. Because all I can think is what if it’s not my body swelling up in the heat but me gaining weight. The thought of going on the scale right now almost brings me to a panic attack.

So for now, I put on my super tight jeans, head to work where fortunately there is air conditioning, and wait for it to cool down a bit.

Birthday Hangover (or I Feel So Loved)

I had a fabulous birthday yesterday! Even though I had to work an 8 hour shift, I still had time to enjoy it.

Thank you to everyone who posted on my Facebook wall, who tweeted at me, and who texted me!

Thank you to my family for getting me such awesome cards. Thank you to my parents for my awesome flowers. And thank you to my brother and future sister-in-law for my AppleTV.

Also, thank you to my boss who got a yummy ice cream cake for everyone at my work to enjoy (birthday calories don’t count, right?).

;

I still have a few more birthday adventures coming up such as going to the Hollywood Bowl to see Liza Minnelli, dinner at Benihana (you get $30 there for your birthday), and eventually another trip to Medieval Times.

But for now, I’m getting back on track with food and finances!

Happy Birthday To Me (or Why Social Networking Makes Me Feel Fabulous)

It’s my birthday today! Yay! I’m a big fan of birthdays (I mean, I’ve already written a few posts about my birthday, can’t you tell?).

Growing up, I spent several birthdays at summer camp. That was pretty fun because the entire camp knew that it was your birthday and everyone sang to you. Then you got thrown into the lagoon, but that’s a whole other thing.

One of the greatest things about my birthday now is all of the wonderful birthday messages that I get. I have Facebook to thank for that.

Before Facebook, how many people’s birthdays did you know? I know that I only knew a handful, just some super close friends and family. But now, I wake up on my birthday to dozens of Happy Birthday messages on my wall. That’s just awesome.

Even though I know that some people only post because Facebook alerts them to, but I still feel really special.

So now I’m off to have a fun birthday morning before having to work a 12:30-9 shift at my day job.

Some birthdays throughout the years:

My 1st Birthday

Sweet 16 in Catalina

In acting class with Chris Kattan

Playing penny machines in Vegas

Dodgers game

Last year at Medieval Times

Birthday Card (or I Wonder If My Mom Bought This After I Started This Blog)

So tomorrow is my birthday! Yay!

I normally don’t open my birthday cards early, but I knew that the one from my parents also had my car insurance card in it, so I opened it yesterday.

Some cards are pretty cheesy, and you have to wonder what the writer was on when they wrote it. But the card from my parents fits exactly what I’m trying to do with this blog.

Here’s what it says:

For you, Daughter on your birthday.

Promise you’ll never settle for anything less than extraordinary…because that’s what you deserve.

Promise you’ll always believe in yourself and the possibilities of each dream…because you can do anything.

Promise you’ll never forget how far you’ve come…because it’ll help you remember how far you can go…

…and that you’ll always see yourself the way others see you…because you’re beautiful inside and out.

Seriously, isn’t that the best birthday card ever! Thanks Mom and Dad (and Dante the dog too).

My New Driver License (or It’s the End to That Cliffhanger)

I had previously blogged about having to get a new driver license and a new picture to go with it. I was nervous how the new picture would look because I actually loved my old picture.

Yesterday in the mail, I got my new license, and I have to say, the picture isn’t too bad.

I’m happy I’m smiling and I don’t look like I’m mid sneeze or anything. I did find it weird that it looks like I have full bangs when I only have side swept bangs, but I’m super happy with my hair color (thanks to my friend Erin who does my hair).

I’m so glad that I’ve gotten my photo and I can stop stressing about what the picture would look like. Right now, I’ve got a lot to focus on with getting everything taken care of from the car accident.

Just to update you all, my car is in the shop and they’ve started to take my car apart to find everything that needs to be fixed. I got a rental car, but I’m switching to a new rental car because my current one smells like cigarette smoke. And I’m feeling bruised and sore, but all my bruises seem to be deep so my skin isn’t black and blue. That’s something I’m happy about because I don’t want to spend my birthday looking like I got beat up!

Crash (or This is Totally Not What I Was Planning On Writing About)

I had a whole other blog idea for what I wanted to have up today.

And then I got into a car accident yesterday.

They say that most accidents occur within 5 miles of your home. My accident happened 5 feet from my home.

I’m fine. The accident was on the driver’s side, and I was lucky that the other car hit me on my tire and not my door. Besides some bruising, I’m ok.

My car isn’t ok.

It’s a little hard to tell in the picture, but my bumper got screwed up, my light got smashed in, and my tire is tilted (either from the axle or tire rod breaking). My car isn’t drivable, so it was towed away and I’m waiting to hear from my insurance company about how long I’ll need to have a rental car (and I need to still get my rental).

I know I might sound like a baby, but this sucks. I know that worse things are happening around me. A friend of mine just lost her best friend to brain cancer. Clearly, she is going through something much worse than me. But right now, I’m selfish. I hate that someone hit my car (and I really believe that they were at fault even though I was coming out of a driveway)

I hate that this is how my birthday week is starting. I am very grateful that nobody was hurt in the accident, but I can’t help but go through a million “what ifs” right now.

What if I had left 5 minutes sooner (or later)? What if I was able to step on the gas and get away from the car coming at me? What if they or I had a different car and no damage was done? What if there were witnesses so I could feel better that I will not be at fault?

So today, I’m going to try to focus on getting the what ifs out of my head, stop being selfish, and just be grateful that I’m ok and that I have really great insurance.